But Loving Him Was Red...

“I can’t even believe you made us drive 22 hours,” I stepped out of the Evoque with a scowl on my face pointed at Sidney who was carrying Lucia.

He was serious, at first, I thought he was fucking with me about driving, but when we actually started driving, I caught on pretty fast when he drove us right past the airport and onto the highway.

I understood about him not wanting to leave an almost 70 thousand dollar car parked in his driveway over a weekend, but I didn’t think he actually was going to drive.

Naturally, Sid and I took turns driving and every 20 minutes he wanted to pull over and check Lucia’s temperature. She was starting to improve but was still majorly groggy. I was hoping there wasn’t something wrong with her.

She slept most of the time, and I kept feeding her the Tylenol but I was scared the trip was making her worse. Honestly, if I felt like she did, I wouldn’t have come; I don’t even know why we were here, especially when she was sick.

Sidney just doesn’t think sometimes and I wasn’t any better, I went along with it. I am a horrible parent.

Even though, she slept most of the car ride, we did stop to let her stretch her legs, while we grabbed food and drinks for our trip.

Naturally, Lucia was on a routine, but she did seem to like the idea of the car ride and the built in DVD player did help with the ‘are we there yets?” I didn’t blame them; I was getting annoyed after 5 hours and us not there yet.

Sidney and I had nice talks, about hockey and how he thinks this might be his year for another cup, and he’s hoping to collect more hardware at the NHL Awards. It seemed like he was really enjoying himself.

The subject of Carly didn’t even come up once. I was dying to ask it, I was dying to know why his ‘girlfriend’ wasn’t here with him.

Basically, we took 22 hours and ended up with stops, and traffic included; plus a few hours to sleep, we made it here in 38 hours. Not as bad as I thought we’d do but hey, who’s complaining?

“Mom,” Sid shouted, walking in through the front door. I slipped her diaper bag up my shoulder and I made my way up on the step. Taylor was coming in later, because she was flying. Sid told her we were driving, but she wanted to do things her way, so she got a flight in and would be in about 5, for the dinner. She was staying the entire weekend like us, but was hoping to fly home as well.

I haven’t the slightest idea where she’s getting the 3 grand to fly here, but I guess that was her business.

“Oh Sidney,” Trina giggled, running into the foyer from the swinging doors in the kitchen. Their house wasn’t the biggest; or the greatest, their furniture didn’t match; but I felt more at home here than I ever did at my house.

She wasted no time; she sat the tray of cookies on a cluttered end table and hugged onto Sidney, as she pinched both of his cheeks. “My little boy’s all grown up, are you sure you are eating?” She was so cute and Sidney just adored his Mom to pieces.

“I’m still alive Mom, so I must be eating,” Sidney commented back, holding onto Lucia tightly. “Lucia’s sick, Mom,” He let Trina peek at her, sleeping in his arms. She wasn’t as pale as before, but she still had a nasty cough.

“Poor little girl,” She commented, stroking her cheek lightly. “Probably come down with a bug, it is November after all,” Ten bucks she caught it from that damn Cavanaugh kid in her playgroup at Daycare, that little bastard came in last week with a runny nose and coughing up a storm.

“Where’s my little princess at?” I heard Troy’s voice as he came up from the den, carrying a stuffed teddy bear. Lucia was such a suck when it came to Troy and my father. He made it to the top of the stairs and looked around casually, obviously expecting Lucia to come running for him. “Where’s Lucia?”

“She’s sick Dad,” Sidney sighed, bringing her over to Troy. “Poor baby slept the entire drive over here,” Troy quickly took her from Sidney and cooed to her while he walked into the kitchen, commenting about how all she needs is some candy and she’ll be fine.

Sidney trailed after him and that left Trina and I standing awkwardly in the foyer.

“Come on dear, let’s go have some tea, you and I need to talk,” Oh great, we’re going to talk. She led me into the kitchen and motioned to one of their kitchen chairs while she stood at the kitchen counter clinking dishes together.

It was a teeny kitchen, but their backyard was huge and there was a section at the back of to the right that was fenced in, Sidney explained that it was their backyard rink that Troy’s had since Sidney was little, it was where he first learned to skate. “So how’s school coming?”

“It’s actually going pretty good,” I smiled. “I’m only doing a year, then I intern for a year,” I watched as she placed a mug of tea out in front of me. We were pretty early, it was only 10am and they were expecting the people around 2, for the dinner at 5. “I hope to write for some big time magazine,”

“Sports writer?” Trina asked, adding in her sugar. I shook my head ‘no’ and she smirked. “Why not? Sidney’s told me you know sports pretty well, especially hockey,”

“Definitely, it is my favorite sport, and my father was the GM of the Skelleftea AIK back in Sweden, so hockey was all I saw,” I clinked my nails along the ceramic of the glass. “But I want to do something entirely different, I want to write about fitness and ballet. I also don’t want people to start commenting that the only reason I think I can be a sports writer is because I am the mother of Sidney’s baby…”

“People are assholes dear, if sports are what you like, then write about that,” She put her hand over mine. “Do what makes you happy,” I sighed, feeling very unsure about this. I loved sports and I have written papers about hockey before, but could I actually write for a magazine, or maintain some kind of… blog? “So, how are you and Sidney doing?”

“We’re getting along,” I sipped the sweet tea; the slightest taste of cinnamon met my lips. “I wish I could go back and not leave, but I guess I have to deal with the repercussions of my actions,” I had to deal with wanting things the way I did and understanding that I have to accept what I am dealt.

That Sidney and Carly are dating and I am just the mother of his daughter and nothing else to him anymore. “And he seems happy with Carly,”

“Sweetie,” She took my hand in hers and stared her green eyes into mine. “I see the way you two look at each other, believe me, he is not over you in the least and this Carly girl to me is a cover up,” I was shocked by Trina and what she was telling me. Was Carly just a cover up?

3PM rolled around and I was left, standing in the kitchen surrounded by tones of Sidney’s Aunts and his grandmother off his Dad’s side.

Troy and Sidney had taken Lucia outside and miraculously she wasn’t sleeping, she was wide awake but Troy had a hold of her. It was the cutest thing. He loved being a Grandpa.

“So Sidney, where is that pretty little girlfriend of yours?” I heard a voice start up behind me. I was standing close to the patio door that was open letting in a quaint breeze.

Trina was entertaining the people who showed up whilst cooking the meal. I offered to help, but she declined saying she can do this herself and for me to relax.

“Oh… uhm…” I watched Sidney stand up and approach his Aunt Diana. She was one of the first people I met from his extended family. She was his Dad’s older sister and she adored me and Sidney together, she was already saying how bad she wanted an invitation to the wedding. Back then, I wasn’t so sure we would last, but as time went on, I started to believe it. “I’m engaged now,” I stopped letting air into my lungs as I spun around harshly and stared Sidney down.

I’m sorry… he’s engaged? To Carly? When was I to find out? I know it’s really none of my business, but he brings my daughter around this woman and I haven’t the slightest idea who the hell she is and now he’s marrying her.

She started screeching and hugged Sidney. “It’s about time, I knew you and Emily would make it, and I better see a damn wedding invitation at my door,” Wait, she thinks Sid and I are engaged? I guess Sidney didn’t get around to telling the family the truth.

Awkward silence was filling the air outside and I felt the insane need to go out there and rescue him, not just from Diana, but also to ask him about his apparent engagement.

I grabbed Lucia’s toque off the table and raced outside with it. “Sidney,” I spoke loudly, getting his and Diana’s attention. “You forgot Lucia’s toque, it’s cold out,” I walked past them and over to Troy, and placed the toque over her messy curls. She glared at me. It wasn’t that cold out, but for a two-year old with a low-grade fever, it was very cold outside. She was sitting up and laughing, so I was assuming she was feeling better.

“I don’t want it, mama,” Lucia whined. “Lucia no want hat,” She began tugging at the fabric of the hat I placed on her head, while Troy was laughing, holding a can of beer in his hand. He was chatting off to Sidney’s Uncle John, who was Aunt Diana’s husband.

“Well mommy doesn’t want you to get sick, so you need to wear it outside,” I laughed. Troy would make sure she kept it on. “You behave yourself,” I pointed my finger at her, that she returned by shaking her own towards me.

“Oh stop, she’s a perfect little lady,” Troy defended her, smirking at me. “You just go back to whatever you were doing, she is fine out here,” I didn’t argue, I simply turned around and walked over to Sidney and Diana. Sidney was biting his finger nails, something he only ever did when he was truly nervous. Why didn’t he tell his family we broke up?

I tapped him on the shoulder and watched him and Diana look over at me. “Sidney, I forgot to mention Lucia’s daycare,” I played with my fingers. “So, I booked more study time at school with my big Math final coming up, would you mind picking her up from daycare on Friday? If you can’t, its fine… but I just hate leaving her there practically all day,” Diana walked off and joined a group of older women who were watching us. I could hear them over here, commenting.

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be a problem, I should have your support check on Thursday,” He itched his chin while Diana looked on. Please like I honestly needed his support payments, I had more money now than I know what to do with. “Speaking of which, can I take her on the Saturday, instead of the Sunday? I messed up the dates and I forgot we do early skates on Mondays,”

“Yeah, actually if you pick her up on Friday, you can keep her for the whole weekend and I’ll pick her up Sunday afternoon,” I offered up. I wanted Sidney to have her as much as he wanted, she was his little girl and he deserved to see her. I couldn’t even believe that I chose to keep her from him.

Sidney and I turned from that to talking about the team and school, and all I heard from around us were ‘oh look at them, they make such a beautiful couple’ and I couldn’t help but to blush. If you seen pictures of us, especially of us at the NHL Awards, I will admit we are cute together.

I saw the look in Sidney’s eyes, he was hearing what they were saying too but I wasn’t sure how he was taking it. He was after all engaged…

= = =
Dinner dishes were cleared and I decided after helping Trina with the dishes to go out into the living room where Sid, Troy and Lucia were hanging out. Their extended family headed to their hotels for the night, but would be back tomorrow for brunch.

We were leaving tomorrow morning after brunch. “What are you watching?” I climbed on the sofa beside Troy and watched Sid laying stomach down on the ground, looking through a book with Lucia. It was obvious he was watching a hockey game, but I couldn’t make out the team names. They weren’t NHL.

“The cow says what Lucia?” Sidney asked, pointing at the picture. Instantly they both started to mooooo. “What does a dog say?” They began barking and Troy rolled his eyes, a smile presented on his lips. “You obviously got your brains from Daddy’s side of the family,” He turned the page, revealing a sheep and a pig.

“The sheep say what?” Lucia started to ‘baaa’ which made Sidney start laughing. “This one is tough, what do pigs say?” Lucia gave him a look and they both started to ‘oink’ like pigs. They were so cute.

In no time, I was laying down there with them, while we went through a children’s book with Lucia. She was two, but was almost reading on her own. Sidney and I would point at pictures and ask her questions and we were so impressed by her answers. She was a smart kid, and I could already see a gifted program in her future.

I was a Straight A student like Sidney was in high-school and I had AP placement for Mathematics in high school. I guess the apple didn’t fall far from the trees so to speak. Troy got up when someone knocked on the door and once he opened it, my heart stopped.

“You must be Carly,” I looked over my shoulder at the doorway where a figure with curly brown hair was standing, talking to Troy.

“He’s in here,” Troy led her into the den where we ended up migrating because the hardwood of the linoleum was hurting their ribs and this room had soft carpeting.

She was a pretty girl, with olive green eyes, skin fresh out of the tanning bed and curly brown hair.

“Hey Carly,” Sidney smiled up at her. The sparkle in his eyes wasn’t there when he looked at her. “What’s up?” Carly stood back behind the sofa, arms crossed over her chest, glaring daggers at me. Why was she glaring at me?

“Sidney can I talk to you privately please?” She seethed, her eyes not leaving me. Oh great, here we go. Sidney looked over at me, and I shrugged, not knowing what to say to him or what she could possibly want.

He got up and followed her out into the hallway where the washer/dryer was. Lucia got a different book out and lied on her stomach, flipping through the book, trying to read each word.

Suddenly I heard her voice clear as a bell. “I don’t really feel comfortable with you and the woman you used to date in the same room alone together,” I looked around, watching Troy turn the volume to his program down. Alone? Lucia and Troy were both here, how is that even remotely alone. It’s not like we’re going to make out in front of his father and our daughter…

“Carly, calm down. She is the mother of my daughter, what do you expect? I cannot abandon her. We’re obviously going to be around each other,” Sidney spoke next. Did they even have the slightest clue that we could hear word for word what they were saying? I highly doubted it, because they probably would stop.

“Oh, but she obviously had no fucking problem abandoning you for two years. Like, honestly, Sid, and besides, I heard she was really easy, can you even prove Lucia is yours?” I balled my hands into tight fists, resisting the urge to go over there and dropkick her.

Can I prove Lucia is Sids? Uhm… their baby pictures are almost identical, she has his eyes, his nose… what more does she need?

“Carly, I am only going to tell you this one time. I trusted Emily through the entire relationship we had, I trust her now and I don’t care that she left for two years, it was my fault why she did what she did and I don’t blame her for acting that way. Lucia is mine,”

Troy looked down at me and smirked, basically telling me that Sidney has my back. It wasn’t his fault… why is he lying?

“How can you honestly be so sure? I mean, she showed up on your doorstep two years later with some random ass kid, she probably just wants the child support”

“You don’t know Emily like I do,” Sidney defended me. Shouldn’t he be on her side, not mine? “And she’s not a random ass kid, she is my daughter,” I felt the venom seething off his tone.

“Sid, I get the feeling that you are not over her and until you can prove that you are and you come to your senses, this engagement is over,” Troy instantly turned the volume back up as the sound of something hitting off a wall met my ears and Carly came stomping out of the hallway and glared at me as she ran up the stairs. Not a tear on her face.

A few seconds went by and Sidney emerged, playing with a ring in-between his fingers. No one said a word, not even Troy. What was there to say? If we said anything, he would know we heard and I highly doubted he wanted anyone to hear that.

My eyes met the ring in his hand when he sat back down beside me.

White gold with yellow diamonds interlacing with white diamonds and a giant oval-cut diamond in the centre, absolutely gorgeous ring.

Troy excused himself and went upstairs, which left Sid and I, with Lucia chattering off to herself. What do I say?