But Loving Him Was Red...

Three Weeks Later

It was official. Sidney Crosby had a concussion. Test after test done, it all came up the symptoms he had were conclusive with that of someone with a concussion. He was out of hockey until further notice, and he was not the most impressed by it.

Although, he was happy that he could spend more time with Lucia. He asked me if I could move in temporarily and give him a hand with stuff, I stated since I basically was living there anyway, that I just had to grab more clothes. Lucia was over the moon thrilled about this.

I shut the car off and gathered my stuff before opening Sidney’s door and letting it shut behind me. “I’m back,” I called out, kicking off my ballet flats. It was dead quiet in here. He was still at the ‘everything hurts my head’ stage and that plus the feeling of being off-balanced is the hardest thing to get past. Poor guy.

I didn’t hear a reply back, but found him curled up on the couch, in his pyjama bottoms. He was using the table cloth off the coffee table to cover up with, that was resting at his feet.

I grabbed him and myself waters out of the fridge and brought them over, setting his down on the coffee table. I grabbed his makeshift blanket and pulled it over him. He must’ve forgot to bring his comforter out with him. He startled and rolled over, rubbing his eyes.

I showed him the water and he smiled. “Thanks Em, this is kicking my ass,” He stretched out. I sat down on the floor beside him and looked up at the TV, seeing Arthur starting. He had subtitles. He had a hard time focusing on anything right now, and sharp sounds killed his head.

It was like my brother; for the first few weeks he had to be in his room with the curtains pulled, he slept most of the time and he cried in his sleep. It was hard seeing him like that. It’s hard seeing Sidney like this.

“This one’s a good one,” I pointed at the title screen, saying it was ‘Busters Secret Admirer’. I looked back when I felt the couch move, he had slid over on the couch and was patting the spot beside him.

“You need to relax, just take a nap, sleep is the best thing for you,” I patted his leg and pulled the covers over him.

Sleep is when the brain makes any healing it needs to do and turns all your short term memory into long-term memory.

“Lay with me,” He kept patting the spot. I eyed him awkwardly. “Please Em, it’ll help,” He held his arm out. I huffed, knowing he wouldn’t let this go. I sat my water on the coffee table and slipped up on the couch with him, while he pulled the covers over me and wrapped me in his arms.

We watched the Arthur episode while most of the time, we spent just looking at each other. Could I really remain friends with him? When I obviously wanted so much more from him.

He reached over me, grabbing the remote off the coffeetable and turned the TV to something else. “Sid,” I spoke, turning to look at him. He turned the TV to a random station and looked down at me, running his fingers through my hair. “My house is closer to the arena and your doctors and now that Taylor is living with Tyler, it would be easier on me if we moved you to my house until you can manage by yourself, it’s closer to Lucia’s daycare,”

Sidney was thinking it over and I relaxed, resting my head on his shoulder. “I guess it would be a little easier, we should move before Lucia gets home from daycare,”

“Okay,” I smiled, patting his chest. “Actually, I have a date with Seth, in a couple hours, are you going to be okay?” Instantly he pulled his arms from me and let the hurt form in his eyes. What was that all about? I put my hand on his back and he shoved away from me. What did I do?

“Yeah,” He rolled over, sighing. “I’ll be fine,” I got up off the couch and walked into the foyer, pulling my hair to the side and dug my phone out of my purse and dialed Seth’s number.

On the second ring he picked up. “Hey Gorgeous,” Seth greeted. I smiled, leaning against the wall, hearing Sidney sighing and the couch moving.

“Seth, is it okay that we reschedule lunch until next week?” I asked, wanting to get this out of the way now. “Lucia’s Dad got hurt pretty bad and I’m trying to help him out,”

“No, it’s fine,” Seth laughed. “Is everything okay with him?” I looked over my shoulder at him, now facing the TV.

“He got hurt at his game a few weeks ago and the doctor says he has a concussion,” I frowned, playing with the ends of my hair. “He’s not bouncing back as well as they want him to, so I’m kind of helping him out as much as I can,”

“I hope he gets better,” Seth said, softly. “Well, call me if you need anything,”

“Thanks Seth,” I hit the end call button and walked back out into the living room, kneeling down by the couch. Sidney’s brows were furrowed together, like he was angry about something. “Are you okay?” I went to put my hand over his and he shoved back, like he was afraid that he could possibly contract some disease just by the touch of my hand.

“I’m fine,” He spoke harshly. “Don’t you need to go on your date with your precious Seth?”

“Sidney,” I sighed. “I cancelled the date, for you,” I pointed at him. “I can’t go with you like this,”

“Like what?” He sat up, leaning back against the couch. “I said I am fine, you don’t need to take care of me,”

“If I didn’t who the fuck would?” I yelled back at him. “A minute ago, you wanted me to cuddle with you, and now you’re telling me you don’t need me, are you sure you’re not bi fucking polar or something?” I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest.

“I can’t believe you are going to marry that guy,” He spat. “Like I can’t fathom what you find attractive in him,”

I laughed. Was he jealous? “Sid, you’ve never met him. He’s got a daughter, he’s so nice and he treats me good,” I sat on the arm of the arm chair, trying desperately to stop myself from laughing at him. “I just like him, I want to get married and have a family, and he wants that,”

“I want that,” Sidney shoved in my face. “I want to get married and have kids with someone,” What? Now he wants that? Was he fucking with me?

“Hon, that’s why you are engaged to Carly,” I patted his knee. “So, what are we doing? Are we going to mope, or pack your stuff and get you over to my house before I have to go get Lucia?” He remained silent and I frowned, sitting on the steps. “Fine, I guess we’ll just mope,” I dug at my cuticles. I had to paint my nails and bad.

“I am not moping,” Sidney said, standing off the couch. “Let’s go get my stuff,” I stood off the steps.

“No Sid, I’ll go get your stuff, you just rest,” I made him lay back down and I rushed up the stairs to his room. I grabbed the duffel out of his closet and started gathering his stuff together. His toothbrush, shower stuff, clothes and various other items.

I went to grab his Advil off his bedside table, when I really seen the picture sitting there. It was of us. I held it in my hands and sat on his bed.

This was taken right around our first ‘date’, we were sitting at a booth in this Chinese restaurant, and he took the picture on his phone of us kissing. I couldn’t help but feel completely shattered when I held this picture in my hands, and the heart shaped frame it was in, that I hand-made and gave to him.
He took this picture everywhere he went; it was always in his suitcase when he went on away games.
= = =

“Why again am I doing this?” Sidney asked, holding the bottle of nail polish and smearing the orange polish on my toenails. He should be used to this by now, I mean, how many times have I made him paint my nails when we were together. I sat up, putting my foot in his hand. He rolled his eyes and continued painting.

“Because it’ll help you with your concentration and I need my nails painted,” I laughed, resting my other foot in his lap. Lucia was upstairs in her room, playing with her toys. He wasn’t doing that bad of a job, but it was my feet, who would really notice? “So, when’s Carly getting home?” I asked, making random conversation.

We just got him moved in and Lucia home a few hours ago, we all had supper and now we were relaxing.

“I have no idea, we haven’t talked for a couple weeks,” He sighed, blowing on my big toe and continued painting my other toes. “When are you going on your date with Seth?” He always said ‘Seth’ with such venom in his tone.

“Next week sometime,” I had the thing of glitter nail polish, to paint my finger nails. I turned the top and inhaled the scent, which almost instantly churned my stomach. “Excuse me,” I threw my hand over my mouth and raced off the couch to the bathroom. In a quick second, my stomach churned up my supper and I frowned, watching it go down the toilet when I flushed it.

What the fuck just happened? Hmm… I opened the door and Sidney was standing up from the couch, holding both things of nail polish in his hands.

“You okay?” He seemed shocked by my actions.

“Yeah, I am fine,” I wiped my mouth on a napkin and took back my nail polish. “Something didn’t sit right, it’s fine, this happens sometimes,” I laughed it off.

“You sure you’re fine?” He asked; when we sat back on the couch. I put my foot back in his hand. God, what is with him?

“Definitely,” I smiled, patting his hand and removed the top to my nailpolish. We resumed painting my nails and Sidney kept looking over at me.

Sidney said he’d take couch, but I had the extra room from Taylor so we set him up in there. Lucia was in her crib in her room and I had my own room.

Halfway through the night, I felt something touch me and I shot out of bed, flinging my hand out and whatever it was, I made contact with. “Ow, son of a bitch,” Sidney turned on the light and was clutching his jaw. “If I didn’t already have a concussion, I sure do now,”

“What are you doing?” I yawned, sitting up and looking at my alarm. It said 3:22AM. He stood there, awkwardly. Seriously, brah, it’s 3AM, I have license to murder you. “Sidney, what is it?”

“I, uhm…” He frowned, itching the back of his head. “Can I sleep in here with you? I don’t feel right in that room, it’s creepy,” It was like he was a three year old.

I just wanted to go back to sleep. I scooted over more and lifted the covers. He shut the light off and crawled under the covers with me.

Within seconds, I was back to drooling into my pillow and I heard the quiet sounds of Sidney’s breathing in my ear. Unlike my brother when he had his concussion, he was sleeping so much better than my brother was.