But Loving Him Was Red...

2 Days Later

“Son of a bitch,” I swore when my period was still not here. What the hell was going on? Was I pregnant? I couldn’t be.

I was finally starting to get my life on track and do the things I wanted to do, I didn’t want to be pregnant, at least not right now. I had Lucia and that was enough for me right now.

I got dressed and went down the stairs. I decided to call my doctor, and ask him what he thinks it might be. Lucia has to go back to Manhattan to see her pediatrician anyway, so I’d just go see my doctor then.

“No, I was supposed to get my period a few days ago, I’ve been feeling sick to my stomach and I’ve puked a few times,” I explained my symptoms to his nurse, Rachel while I made coffee. Sidney and Lucia were still sleeping.

“When was the last time you had sexual intercourse?” She asked. I knew it was standard, but this was so awkward to talk about.

“Uhm, on Christmas, I kind of had a fling with someone,” I sat on the stool and laid my head on my hands. I knew when I called it a fling, it hurt my heart, but that’s really what it was. “I just don’t want to hear that I’m pregnant, but I really think I might be,”

“Well, Miss Miller, it seems to me like you may be pregnant,” She explained, a slight happy tone to her voice. “I know you’re in Pittsburgh right now, so what I can do is set you up with Doctor MacGyver, he’s one of Raymonds colleagues,” I guess that’s better than driving almost ten hours. “He has an office in Moon Township,”

“Okay, that sounds good,” I smiled happily, grabbing a pen and wrote the address down she gave me on a paper. “So, I go there on Thursday at 10AM,”

“Yes, just be there prompt and be prepared to do a urine sample,” We said our goodbyes and hung up. What do I tell Sidney? I was not about to leave him again, I just couldn’t uproot and leave. It’s hurt me, and more than that, Lucia would be devastated. I laid my head on my hands and small tears were on my cheeks.

“Good morning Mommy,” Sidney rounded the corner, carrying Lucia. I looked up at him and forced a smile when he sat Lucia at the table and pushed her chair in. “Are you okay?” He came over and put his hand on my shoulder.

“I am fine,” I moved off the stool and headed up the stairs. What was I going to do? I crawled into my closet and laid in the fetal position on the stack of blankets while I sobbed into my hands.

I was fucked, no matter what way I went. Why did we have to have sex? That just complicated everything and wrecked all of my plans.

“Emily?” I heard Sidney’s voice come from behind my bedroom door.”Look, I’ve seen you naked, so I’m coming in,” He slowly opened the door. I sat up when he appeared at the closet. “What’s the matter?” He crawled on his hands and knees into where I was and sat down. I didn’t answer him, I couldn’t tell him. I could be pregnant again, but I was so afraid.

“Emily,” He put an arm around me and pulled me into his chest. I put my arms around him and just let myself cry into his shoulder. He was here. He was in my closet, on blankets with me and I can’t even bring myself to tell him the truth.

“I can’t tell you,” I sobbed into his shoulder. “You’ll just think I’m lying to you and you’ll hate me, and I can’t have that,”

“Emily, I couldn’t hate you,” He pulled my head from his shoulder and wiped the tears off my face. “Now what’s the problem? I’ll do whatever it takes to fix it,”

“You can’t fix it,” I grumbled, pulling from him. “You can’t possibly fix this,”

“If Seth did something to you-“ He started. I shook my head. “Then what is it? Emily, you are obviously not in here sobbing like a three year old for nothing,” He had a point.

I took in a deep breath and pulled from him. “The pregnancy test a few days ago that Taylor said was hers…” I played with my fingers, picking the nailpolish off of them. “Was actually mine,” His face went white and I had no clue what he was thinking. “Look, I go and find out on Thursday and I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me when I say this, but you’re the person I’ve had sex with that is even remotely close to fathering this baby, you can leave if you want, I don’t blame you,”

“So, my sister isn’t pregnant?” He asked, like he was relieved, but suddenly pointed at me. “But, you are?” He quickly looked down at my stomach. I had on an oversized tank top and a pair of shorts.

“Might be,” I clarified. “I still haven’t got my period, and I’ve been getting sick, so it all fits, the same way when I was pregnant with Lucia,” He was obviously unsure what I was saying. “You can choose not to believe me,”

“I never said I didn’t believe you,” He put his hand over mine when I was close to getting up and leaving. “It’s… this is a lot to take in,” I frowned, putting my hands on my stomach. “Are you sure?”

“Am I sure, what?” I asked. “If you mean, that you fathered this baby, yeah… Look, I am not a whore, so I haven’t had sex with Seth, and Claude and I stopped sleeping together right around October, the only one who fits it…” I pointed a shaky finger at him. “Is you,” The look on his face was the worst. He looked horrified. Gee, three days ago, he told me that he wanted kids and a family, and now I may be pregnant, and he looked scared out of his mind.

“SO, you are telling me, that we could be having another baby?” He asked, with a shaky tone to his voice. Oh fuck, he wasn’t ready for this one. I took in a deep breath. “And… I fathered this one,”

“Like I said, Sidney, you don’t have to believe me,” I crawled out of the closet, tears on my cheeks. “You can believe that I fucked somebody else and I am just pawning this one off on you,” I sat down on my bed. I’d rather not argue with Sidney in front of Lucia, especially about this. Ten bucks she was watching cartoons right now and didn’t even notice neither of us were down there.

“Emily,” He crawled out of the closet behind me and stood on wobbly legs. He was getting better with his balance and part of him was still off, but he was improving. “Please, I never would say you slept with someone else, if you tell me you didn’t then I believe you, no matter what,”

“I wish we never had sex, Sidney, I had so many plans and now if I am pregnant, then I have to put them all on the back burner,” I crossed my legs underneath myself. “You can go back to hockey, but I have to wait. I can just imagine what this is going to do to my body,” Sidney sat down beside me, putting a hand on my back. “It is never going to look the same; there goes my modeling dreams,”

We were silent, and I knew it was because Sidney didn’t know what to say. What do you say? “I’ll go with you,” He broke the silence. I slowly lifted my face from my hands. I wasn’t crying, but I just was having a hard time grasping all this. “To your appointment, if I can manage,” He was going to come with me?

“Don’t you have a media day thingy coming up?” I asked. Danny was telling him that the reporters wanted an interview with him about his concussion and mainly just to clear up rumors. “That’s more important,”

“Not to me,”