But Loving Him Was Red...

Two Days Later

I was again nervous. I didn’t want to be here. I held Lucia tightly in my arms while the warm-ups were beginning. All the players were scattered along the ice. I already seen Geno and Sidney skate by, but I had yet to see Claude.

Lucia had on a toddlers sized Crosby jersey and a matching Penguins toque from Tyler. I only had on a thin grey cardigan over top a white tank top and dark blue skinnies tucked into my UGGS.

I startled when someone tapped on the glass and wasn’t the least bit surprised to see Sidney standing there, with his helmet off. Lucia was already holding her hands out to him. He furrowed his brows and yelled through the glass. “Emily, is she warm enough?"

I rolled my eyes. He was beyond an over-protective father. Wait ‘till she starts dating, he’s going to turn into a freak. “Yes Sidney, she’s warm enough. She has a t-shirt, a sweater, the jersey and her coat, calm down,” I yelled back, trying to keep my cool with all the whispers from people around me.

What do I expect honestly? I also was more than 10000% certain that this would be all over ESPN tomorrow, or even at the earliest tonight.

I looked back up at the glass where Sidney had slipped his helmet on and skated back into his line-up. I rolled my eyes and sat back in my seat, watching the lights dim and the starting line-up was announced for both sides.

The CEC crowd booed the Flyers starting line-up and I wasn’t the least bit surprised at it. If we boo them, they boo us, it’s a vicious cycle but everyone was comfortable with it.

Once the puck was finally dropped, the crowd was going wild. I never seen so many ‘Marry Me Sidney’ posters in the crowd before, but then I never paid attention before now.

Most of the girls holding up the signs were bleached out bimbos, who were only at the game for the prospect of a hockey player husband.

I know what Sidney makes and trust me that is probably the only reason they’d want him.

Looking from the bimbos, my eyes met a pair across the arena of a girl wearing a Malkin jersey, and a Pens toque that looked to be home made, she had shiny braces on her teeth and looked happier than hell to be at this game.

It took everything in me not to lash out and hug her, knowing she looked like a real, legit fan of the hockey world and not some bleached out bimbo. She was wearing an oversized Malkin jersey and from the looks of it, a simple pair of blue jeans.

Lucia was chattering quietly to herself while the game was happening before us. I wanted to see her play hockey, but I wasn’t so sure Sidney would let her, he barely lets her to the end of his driveway before he starts going all weird.

I loved the father-daughter relationships, and I knew in my heart that they’d always have a great bond between them.

As I itched the bridge of my nose and looked up, I was startled to see an angry looking Claude staring down at me.

He looked at Lucia, obviously noticed her Crosby jersey and mouthed ‘Just you wait’ and slammed his fist on the glass as he turned and skated off.

I began feeling incredibly afraid, afraid of what Claude was going to do, he knew where I moved to, would he start harassing me? I sunk lower in my seat and immediately lost interest in the game.

I could only think of what was going to happen to me or to Lucia. Should I tell Sidney? He knows about Claude, but I wasn’t sure his daughter was in jeopardy.

I hated being a parent some days.

= = = =

I pushed the doors open to the CEC and rushed through the crowds of people to my Jeep. I’d lock the doors and wait for Sidney.

I knew that since he invited myself and Lucia, that he’d probably want to talk to us after the game and say goodnight to Lucia.

I got halfway when I heard that chilling voice. “I knew it!” I sucked in a deep breath and turned to see Claude approaching me from the backdoor, carrying his hockey bag over one shoulder.

“I can’t fucking believe you’d lie to me! I took you in, I practically adopted your fucking kid, and you have the balls to lie to me,” He stepped up to me. “Bull fucking shit, her Dad ran away, you didn’t want me to know she’s Cindy’s fucking kid,” He was motioning to Lucia like she was a piece of trash.

“Claude, keep your voice down,” I hissed, trying to deter the crowd of families from hearing my pathetic life story. I began backing up, in hopes that he’d just leave me alone. I didn’t want to know what would happen if Sidney comes out and hears what he’s saying about Lucia.

“Why? Don’t want the entire parking lot to know what kind of whore you really are,” He walked past me, nudging my shoulder roughly and heading for his truck. I stayed rooted on the spot carrying Lucia who had fallen fast asleep halfway through the game. It was nuts how fast she’d go to sleep even in the loudest of environments.

I came back to reality after a few seconds of standing where I was and hurried through people and cars to my Jeep, the only orange one in the lot.

I buckled Lucia into her car seat and climbed in the drivers, letting all my emotions rush to the surface and I was left lightly crying into my hands.

I was scared, because now Claude knew the truth and I wasn’t sure what he would do to me. I doubted this little run-in was the extent of his torture for me.

“How did we do?” I startled and looked up at Sidney, leaning on my door, peeking his head in the window.

I was quick to wipe the tears off my cheeks and get rid of all the proof I had been crying. I didn’t want to bring Sid into this; this was my problem, not his. “Shit, did we really do that bad?” He laughed, putting my tears towards the fact that they lost 2-1, on a breakaway pass.

“No, sweetie… you did good,” I sniffled, patting his hand. “You did real good. Lucia however, fell asleep,” I looked at her sleeping soundly still in the back seat. I doubted she’d wake up at all on the way home, and would probably be out the rest of the night.

He reached in the Jeep, taking my face in his hands and making me look at him. “You okay?” He asked, running his thumbs under my eyes. He was panting and had sweat dripping down his face.

It was obvious he skipped his after game shower, probably to come talk to me before I left.

I was still unsure as to what he wanted. He was with this Carly girl, but made me feel like he wanted us back and I wasn’t sure what I wanted.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I smiled weakly, and he didn’t make the motion to let my face go. “I just… had a run in,” AS soon as that left my mouth, I instantly regretted it.

“With who?” Sid asked, letting go of my face and resting his hands on my door. “Did they hurt you? Did they hurt Lucia?” He was speaking a mile a minute and looked absolutely terrified. That look on his face, proved to me that he does care about Lucia.

“No, Sidney, calm down,” I patted his hands. “It wasn’t anything like that…”

“Then what was it like? If he hurt my daughter, so help me fucking god…” He growled, his eyes going dark. “Who the fuck was it?”

“Claude,” I sighed, not bothering to look at him anymore. “I was walking out to my Jeep with Lucia, and he stopped me and yelled at me about lying to him and how I should thank him because he took me and my fucking kid in,” Once my eyes moved from Lucia in the backseat, back up to Sidney he looked even more pissed off than when we started talking. “Then he called me a whore, like he has room to fucking talk. Who the hell does he think he is? He’s the father of Taylor’s son for godsakes and he doesn’t even fucking take care of him. He’s a jackass,”

“He…” He stopped and took in a deep breath. “He what? He’s the father of Landon? Are you fucking serious? He slept with my sister?”

“Woah Sid, calm down, one question at a time,” I laughed, trying to get him to smile, which of course he didn’t. “….No…” I didn’t even mean to blurt that out, it just kind of happened. Taylor is going to kill me.

“Don’t you dare lie to me,” He scrunched his eyebrows. “He fathered my fucking nephew,” He turned and stormed off to his Evoque. I knew he’d probably go home and bitch Taylor out over the phone, no doubt about it.

= =

I pulled my Jeep into the driveway of my home and climbed out, gathering Lucia and the shopping bag of groceries I stopped at WholeFoods to obtain and stepped up on the porch, jingling my keys.

Taylor always locks the door when she’s home and I didn’t blame her one bit. I always did when I was at home by myself.

“How fucking could you Taylor?!” It was Sidney inside, yelling at his sister. I huffed and looked over my shoulder, not even bothering to register the Evoque parked in the spot beside my Jeep, behind Taylor’s Honda.

I opened the door and revealed Taylor and Sidney standing in front of each other, yelling.

“It wasn’t my fault, we met in Minnesota and I got pregnant, Sidney, yes. I am a fucking whore, go ahead and say it. Tell me what kind of disappointment I am to the whole family just like both Mom and Dad told me,” Taylor yelled back, just as loud as Sidney did. “I can’t do anything to please them,”

“Taylor, you had so much potential,” He huffed. “I can’t even believe you slept with Claudia, I mean… why him?”

“I don’t know, I was drunk, why don’t you ask Jack Daniels? He obviously found Claude attractive,” She stepped around him and then turned, shooting a nasty glare at him. I didn’t think any of them saw me standing in the doorway.

Lucia had woken up a few seconds ago and was listening to this. “I cut ties with him and I’m raising my son all on my own,” She was doing a really good job and I personally thought she calmed right down after she had him. She hasn’t drank or partied since Landon was born.

“You shouldn’t have to!” Sidney yelled back, turning to face her. “Taylor, you should go after him for child support, it’s the responsible thing to do,”

“Responsible? If I was so responsible, maybe I would’ve kept my clothes on for once, not got pregnant by some douchebag, or not get pregnant at 16,” I frowned. That hit me hard. I was 17 when I got pregnant. “But I did, and now I have to live with this. Claude doesn’t need to be involved,”

“Yes he does! He fathered my nephew!” Sidney yelled and looked briefly over at me, a deer in the headlights look on his face. “Oh shit, how long have you been there?”

“I just got here, what’s going on?” I sat the grocery bag down on the table beside the door and held onto Lucia tightly when she began squirming. “Lucia, what?” I questioned her squirming. She seemed uncomfortable.

“Daddy is yelling,” Lucia cowered and put her face in my neck. I watched Sidney raise his finger towards Taylor but once he registered what Lucia said, he dropped it and looked at me. I was in shock.

Did she just call Sidney ‘Daddy’?

He stepped around the couch with Landon sleeping on it and approached me. “I’m sorry, maybe I misheard, what did she just say?” He pointed towards Lucia, who was still cowering.

Lucia raised her head up and looked at Sidney. “Daddy mean, Daddy yelling,” She quickly put her face back in my neck. Poor baby.

I watched the tears collecting in his eyes. “I just…” Sidney smiled, wiping his eyes. “I got to go,” He shoved past me and hurried down the steps.

He cried for Lucia calling him ‘Daddy’ how sweet. I sat Lucia on the ground and Taylor helped me put the groceries away.