‹ Prequel: She's Glitter and Gold
Status: Matt Flyzik does not approve of silent readers!

It Never Felt Right Calling This Just Friends



I wake up to the smell of coffee and an empty bed.
After dragging myself out of bed I pull on a baggy t-shirt and walk into the kitchen where Jack is digging through the fridge. "You need to go grocery shopping," he informs me.
I yawn and nod my head. "I know. There should be pop tarts in the cupboard above the stove."
He finds them as I pour myself a cup of coffee and sit at the small table.
"What time do you work?" he asks as he sits across from me.
"Four." I grab his second pop tart and start eating it, resulting in a frown from him.
"Do you uh, wanna go out for lunch or something?" he asks awkwardly, and his eyes study his food intensely.
I cross my legs Indian style and think about his request. What was his deal? He doesn't really want to take me on a date. That would mean he wanted a relationship.
He just feels guilty
"Nah, that's fine," I finally say before swallowing the last of my poptart.
His dark eyes shoot up to make contact with mine, and I swear he looks disappointed. "Why?" his voice is strange, like he's trying too hard not to let emotion enter it.
I shrug my shoulders and stand and walk to the sink. "You don't owe me anything, Jack." I turn the sink on and start washing the few dirty dishes.
"I didn't say I did..." I hear him mutter, and I glance over my shoulder to see him frowning at my back. I quickly return my focus to the sink.
"Look, I know that my sister and Alex are probably pressuring you to actually make something of... this ," I turn the sink off and dried my hands on my shirt and turn to face him. "what they have is great, but it's not for either of us."
His eyebrows furrow together and his lips scrunch together. "They have nothing to do with this," he sighs. "I.. I like you, Ri."
"And here I was, thinking we were friends because you hated me," I joke, trying to lighten the uncomfortably serious direction the conversation was headed.
He sighs again, making the smile vanish from my lips. "Ri, I don't like you as a friend. I really, really..." he trails off and his frown deepens. "Ri, I'm in love with you," his voice is quiet and his eyes are glued to mine.
His words hang in the air, and my brain just stops, and it takes forever to fathom what he's saying. I blink. "Don't say that," I finally say.
"I do." He stands up and I press the small of my back into the counter, silently praying for him to stop. "I didn't realize it until just now, but I love you, so fucking much. I have since Christmas, I think. I don't want to just screw around with you, I want to spend every minute of every day with you." My eyes look everywhere but at him and my arms cross over my chest that feels tight and empty. I see him shift from foot to foot in my peripherals. "Whatever," he mumbles. "Forget I said anything. It was nice seeing you."
He walks to the front door and I watch him silently. The door opens and closes, and he's gone.
I slide down to the floor and continue staring at the door.


I never really understood what people meant when they said their heart was broken. I thought it was just a metaphor, but I think I understand now.
It hurts. Like someone shoved a knife into my chest and won't stop twisting it.
I don't know why it hurts so bad. I knew she didn't feel the same.
Her face keeps reappearing in my head. After I'd spilled my feelings out she'd just stared at me. No emotions. She just stared.
I rest my forehead against the airplane window and a part of me wishes for it to crash so I don't have to feel so shitty anymore.
I squeeze my eyes shut and try telling myself that it's not a big deal, that I'll get over her.
I went my entire life without knowing her. I obviously don't care about her as much as I think I do. I just want what I can't have.
But no matter how many times I tell myself I'll get over it, the pain in my chest doesn't lessen.
♠ ♠ ♠
Wow, it took me forever to post, and when I finally do it's a shit chapter.
I'm sorry! I just got a job and between that and school life's pretty hectic. I'll try to upload a better chapter soon though!
Comments are nice :)