When Harry Met Luna

“Wait. I think you turn right.” I pointed to the next street but then started second-guessing myself. “Or was it a left?”

Harry swiveled his head around long enough to give me an irritated look before quickly switching lanes at the last minute. The cars behind us honked furiously.

I was trying as hard as I could to remember what Mallory’s address was. I knew she lived somewhere on Delaware road, I just couldn’t remember what side or which building. I’ve only been to her flat once and it was in the day time. It became clear to me that retracing my steps at one in the morning would be much more difficult then I originally thought.

After ten minutes of arguing with both Harry and his GPS, we finally pulled up to the building that I was absolutely sure was Mallory’s.

Well. 90% sure.

“Hey Mal. I think we are here but I’m not sure.” I called her the minute Harry parked, both of us now standing on the curb outside a tall red bricked building that had white, four paneled windows lining the side of the building.

“‘We’? Who the hell is ‘we’?” She repeated. I looked up and saw one of the curtains violently swing backwards, revealing a very confused Mallory. I looked up and waved to her silhouette. In return, she gasped. “Is that Harry Styles? What the fuck, Luna!? Why didn’t you even- ah Christ, now I have to put some fucking pants on. Hang on, I’m buzzing you in.”

She ran away from the window and abruptly hung up. I knew if I told her Harry was with me, she would have immediately uninvited me over which was not something I wanted her to do after sounding so upset over the phone.

Harry and I walked up to the main door of the apartment building, which was now buzzing loudly and waiting to be opened. Harry reached for it and held it open for me to go inside. I thanked him and stepped over the threshold, my attention now brought to the fact that Harry got noticeably quiet since we arrived. I had every intention of asking him about what he was going to say when we climbed into his car, but we both got so frustrated after taking several wrong turns that I figured it wasn’t the right time to talk about it.

Instead, we walked up the two flights of stairs to Mallory’s apartment.

Before I even had a chance to knock, Mallory ripped the door open. Her eyes were red and puffy, answering my suspicions in an instant. Her mascara was smudged all around her eyes and her hair was now roped up into a tight bun. Even in a moment of complete despair, she looked gorgeous.

“William broke up with me.” Mallory sniffled, looking at me and then turned to Harry. “Hey Styles.”

I moved forward and wiped the smudges under her eyes with my thumbs. “I’m so sorry, Mal.”

I put my arm around her shoulder and guided her back inside while Harry closed the door behind us. I sat us both down on her thrifted, purple-velvet sofa that was situated in her living room and pulled out a new tissue from the tissue box sitting on the coffee table. I adored Mallory’s apartment. It was small, cozy, and fit her personality perfectly. She loved collecting fashion photography and hanging them up on her walls. There were two huge framed vintage Vogue covers hanging on the wall about her little tv. It was like a Carrie Bradshaw wet dream.

“He broke up with me because I was too loud for him.” She blew into the tissue I handed her and shook her head. “What kind of bloody reason is that? All he had to do was ask me to keep it down! I mean, he just told me a couple of days ago he loved me and now look! He lied!”

I continued to rub her back while she whiped her eyes and threw the crumpled up tissue onto the table. I looked up at Harry, who was now standing in front of the tv. He looked at Mallory with a sympathetic expression.

“How about I make us some tea, yeah?” He offered with a sad smile.

“Thanks, Harry.” I smiled back at him before returning my attention to Mallory.

The minute he was out of earshot, Mallory shot up and glared at me. “Why didn’t you tell me you were with Harry!?” She whispered harshly.

“I’m sorry!” I whispered back, peering past her to make sure he was in the kitchen. “I knew you wouldn’t let me come over had you known!”

“Well, duh. If I wasn’t so depressed and pissed off at William right now, I’d totally be giving you a proper high five.” She sneered. I almost thought about addressing the backhanded compliment she just gave me, but let it slide when she grabbed another tissue and blew her nose.

By the time Harry got back with three mugs of steaming hot tea, Mallory was already well into the story of how the break up happened. Harry decidedly perched on the arm of the floral pattered love-seat adjacent to the sofa we were sitting on and listened intently to her story.

“I just don’t get it.” She mumbled through a new batch of tears. I handed her another tissue. “I thought being loud and quirky was something he liked about me. I don’t know what I’m going to do without him. Even though it’s clear to me he doesn’t love me anymore, I still can’t help but love him.”

I shared a look with Harry and sighed. I’m starting to wish Harry was no longer sitting in the living room because what I was about to say is seriously hitting too close to home. “Look. I know it’s hard for you to believe me when I say I know how you feel, but I actually really do know how you feel.”

Mallory wiped her nose for the tenth time and looked at me with her despairing blue eyes, waiting for me to continue. I proceeded, despite the immensely hard pounding against my chest. “When I...met Derek, I thought he was my everything. He was sweet, caring and I was convinced we were both in love until I found out he was seeing someone else behind my back. Turns out, he wasn’t in love with me like I originally thought.”

Mallory and Harry both fell silent, now intently listening to me speak. I tried to ignore Harry’s presence all together. We both knew fully well this was the type of conversation I was trying to avoid in my kitchen earlier but I knew Mallory was hurting and even though our situations were entirely different, I hoped she could find some sort of solace in my experience.

“I’m trying to say that I understand what it’s like to feel as tiny and insignificantly as humanly possible.” I gulped, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. “I know what it’s like to ache in places you wouldn’t even believe were inside you and how much it hurts just letting go of someone you loved for a really long period of time. And no matter what you do or how drunk you get or how many new gyms you join or how much you ignore the internet, you’ll still go to bed every night, going over every single detail of your relationship, wondering where you went wrong or how you could have misunderstood. Sometimes you’ll even get as crazy as thinking that one day he’ll just show up at your door after realizing he was wrong! I almost convinced myself that Derek saw the light when he called me weeks ago, apologizing about what happened but he’s still in a relationship with the other girl and clearly doesn’t care that it’s all over facebook.”

Mallory stopped crying and I was almost sure Harry held his breath the whole time I spoke. It felt weird saying all of this out loud. I mean yeah, I told Mallory about the breakup when we first met but I never told her how it felt. The remains of a bad breakup, the emptiness. That was all I had when I first moved back to London over the summer. However, talking about it now made me feel so different. Like the heavy weight that was once compressed in my chest, was finally lifted or something. This time it wasn’t just a fleeting moment. It was a permanent fix.

“Luna...” Now Mallory’s voice was sympathetic, watching me with a concerned expression on her fact. “I didn’t realize-”

“No, it’s fine.” I quickly brushed away her concerns. “I was going to say after all that, however long or short that may be, you will finally get to move on because you’ll meet new people and go other places that don’t remind you of him. You’re going to ultimately feel worthwhile again. And all that fluffy bullshit, those years of your life that you wasted on an unrequited love, will eventually begin to disappear. Little pieces of your heart will finally come back.”

I didn’t look at either of them, knowing what I said was something they’ve both been wanting to hear for a while now, especially Harry.

“Thats why you’re in London for the summer?” Harry spoke for the first time in ages. I looked up and saw him staring at me with his mouth partially open.

I nodded. “Yeah. I figured if I kept myself busy at this internship, that I’d be in good shape.”

Mallory shook her head, now looking angry. “I can’t believe you went through that.”

“Wait, was that the guy who texted you last week when we were in the park? The one you hadn’t burnt the bridge with?”

I nodded. “‘He misses me’” I added bunny ears with my fingers.

“Fucking prick.” Somehow, Mallory was no longer crying but was now more wrapped up in our new conversation. “He stays in touch, making it impossible for you to forget him, even though he knows he fucked you over. Is this guy an idiot? If I ever get my hands on him, I swear to God I’ll strangle him to death.”

My eyes flickered over to Harry. His mouth was curved into a frown, his eyes staring intently out the window while he cracked his knuckles.

“You know what? I don’t even care about William anymore. That guy can kiss my fat ass.” She scoffed and stood up, adjusting her shirt while she did so. “I just need the pint of Ben & Jerry’s that is currently sitting in the corner of the freezer and I’ll be good to go.”

When Mallory disappeared into the kitchen, I started picking at my fingernails. I didn’t want to look at Harry again because for some reason, I felt a little embarrassed that everything was out in the open now.

“I’m so sorry.” Harry finally broke the silence between us. His voice was soft and comforting, like it always was. “Really, I am. I had no idea.”

“It’s alright, Harry.” I offered him a weak smile. “It’s not as bad as it sounds, not anymore. I’m finally over it.”

When Mallory got back, she already had three scoops of chunky monkey shoved in her mouth. She jumped back onto the couch and decidedly turned the tv on. “D’you guys want to watch the rest of Bridesmaids with me? I’m only five minutes in.”

I only agreed because Harry did since he was, evidently my ride home. When I let Mallory rest her feet on my lap before the movie started, however, I knew she would be a goner. Just like I predicted, the minute she finished the whole pint of Ben & Jerrys, she was out in minutes.

I noticed Harry’s eyes were threatening to close throughout the entire movie as well, a continuous string of yawns escaping his lips. When I couldn’t stand watching him a second longer, I whispered over to him.

“Harry.” He looked at me with a sleepy smile. “You can go home if you want. I’ll stay the night with Mallory.”

He started to protest but I cut him off. “Harry, go home. I know you’re still jet-lagged from your trip.”

“Are you sure?” He whispered back. “Because I can stay-”

I rolled my eyes at him and shook my head.

While Harry quietly gathered his things, I carefully maneuvered myself from beneath Mallory and walked Harry to the door.

“Thanks for bringing me over here.” I told him, closing the door slightly so our conversation wouldn’t wake up Mallory. “Sorry I got us lost like ten times on the way here.”

Harry lowered his head slightly so he could ruffle up his curls and push it across his forehead. I kinda died watching him do it.

“It’s okay. I actually had fun tonight.” He replied with a smile. “But maybe next time you should get a solid address before we get into my car.”

I was surprised enough that he even assumed there would be a next time. I merely smiled in response.

Just as he was about to turn away and head towards the stairs, he stopped and looked at me again. “You know you’re amazing, right? Fuck your ex for making you think otherwise.”

I blushed, my heart swelling up with utter joy when he said it. I couldn’t help the grin that started to appear on my face. It felt so goofy and stupid.

“Don’t get all mushy on me, fart breath,” I giggled, now feeling like some stupid little schoolgirl. “or I might have to hug ya.”

Harry was grinning back at me. “Too late.” Before I knew it, his lips were gently pressed against my cheek and he was pulling me into a tight hug. It all happened so fast, I didn’t have time to process what he was doing.

He pulled back and whipped out his car keys. “Text me when you get to the arena on Saturday, yeah?”

I was rendered speechless, still analyzing the fact that he just kissed me on the cheek. I barely managed to nod my head at whatever he said.

When I walked back into Mallory’s apartment and locked the front door, I was in a daze. An unwillingly, distracting daze. I somehow crawled onto the floral love-seat and covered myself with the knitted blanket that was folded on top of it.

The last thing I remember thinking before falling asleep was how lovely Harry’s lips felt against my skin.