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Dirty Little Secret

thirtyfour

READ AUTHOR'S NOTE!

Things between Eric and I had been good. I had told him that I was never a fan of public display of affection and he accepted my pleas for a more discreet relationship. That didn't stop him from wanting a full make out session behind closed doors. In those moments my heart would fall into my stomach knowing that I was only hurting Tate further, however it was getting easier to ignore the hate I had for myself. And as the January month comes to an end I only had four short more months until Tate and I can leave this place and start somewhere fresh.

Hands wrapped around my waist from behind, "Hey baby, I want you to come over tonight," Eric whispered in my ear.

"It's Friday; don't you normally go out Fridays?" I turned around after closing my locker. I used my books as a barrier between us.

"Not anymore, I'm done with the whole party scene. Unless you want to come out with me."

"Oh no, I have some homework to do and I was actually thinking about asking Allie and Courtney to stay the night."

"How about we all go out to dinner tonight then I'll let Allie and Courtney have you for the rest of the night."

I pause, my plans to hang out with Courtney and Allie tonight hadn't been my original plans. No, I was planning on driving up North to a small restaurant Tate's parents had recommended for our six month anniversary. I didn't know how I was going to get out of this one as Eric was dragging to meet up with his friends to tell them about our plans.

I saw Tate standing at his locker, I knew that he wasn't reading his notes but was listening closely to what Eric was saying. He looked up as he closed his locker and I tried to make eye contact but his gaze was everywhere but me.

I was thankful that Mr. Tregus had assigned another project in biology, giving me the chance to talk freely to Tate. This would also give me the excuse to be with him outside of school.

"Tate, look at me," I say once the class is buzzing with chatter.

Tate looks at me and his eyes drill into me, in almost a scary way. "What?"

"I'm sorry, Eric just asked to hang out so I thought of something then my fake plans became real ones. It all happened so fast. Don't be mad please."

"I'm not mad," Tate spit out acidly.

"Bullshit," I said getting mad now.

"Fine, I'm sorry that whenever we have actual plans, Eric is there to mess them up. I'm getting sick of him always being around."

"It'll only be a little while longer, promise."

Courtney and Allie had made there was over and I scooted a little further from Tate.

"I heard that you wanted to have a girl’s night," Allie gleamed.

"Actually," I start, trying to sound disappointed. "Tate is only free tonight to work on our project until it has to be turned in. How about tomorrow night?"

"I can't tomorrow night. I really wanted to hang out tonight," Courtney whined.

"Why don't I just come over for like an hour tonight? I'm sure we can get our project done in that time and Courtney and Allie can work on their project?" Tate said turning to me.

"Are you guys okay with that?" I ask hopefully. This way everyone would win.

Courtney and Allie look at each other with suspicion. They didn't like Tate; they thought he was a freak, and a killer.

"That'll be fine, if you guys help us with our project," Allie said before Courtney could say a word.

"Great, I'll text you when we're done with dinner and you can meet us at my house?" I ask Tate smiling brightly.

"Sure, that'll work."

"And did Eric say he wanted sushi?" I now turned to Allie and Courtney.

"Yeah, he wants to try that new Fusion Sushi place," Courtney answered.

"Great, I'll meet you guys there at like six? I have to go home and shower and clean up a bit."

**

Tate laid shirtless on his bed, watching me change from outfit to outfit. Each time I would put on something new I would look in the mirror and immediately find something wrong with it. Too formal, too laid back, not comfortable, didn't match.

"It never takes you this long to get dressed when we do something. Why are you trying to please Eric? It's not like you're sleeping with him, or are you?" Tate looks up at me seriously.

My eyes meet Tate's in the mirror. His expression was hard and cold, I knew that he was serious about the question. It was no joke, he wanted to know what Eric and I did behind closed doors. I turned around slowly to face Tate fully. My eyebrows furrow and I am finding it hard to speak.

"What?" I finally sputter out.

"Are you fucking him?" Tate asks again more forcefully.

"I cannot believe you are asking that. What do you think?"

"Not sure. You're trying real hard to impress him; you've been hanging out with him more than normal."

"Well I'm not fucking him. You should know that seeing it took you how long it took you to finally get in my pants. I'm not trying to impress Eric; I'm trying to impress everyone. You don't care what I look like. I could be wearing a Big Bird costume and you'd still think I was beautiful. But with them I have look my best to avoid any unwanted questions. You know how they are."

I changed one last time, deciding on something. Tate had gotten up, walking closer to where I was standing. I knew that he would attempt to kiss me or at least pull me into him. I didn't want anything to do with him, at least not know.

I try to pull away from Tate as he wraps his arms around me but he's too strong from me.

"Get away from me," I mutter into his bare chest.

"Never," Tate laughs lightly to try and lighten the mood.

"I mean it Tate," I force myself away from him. Tate puts up his hands in surrender looking stunned. "If you don't start trusting me then this isn't going to work. I love you and I only want to be with you and I'm sorry that I'm too fucked up in the head to allow that right now but soon it'll just be us and we'll be able to start fresh and then we can tell the world. But for right now you have to trust me."

"I'm trying, I'm really trying. It's just going to take some getting used to. It takes everything in me not to knock him out every time he touches you," Tate said through gritted teeth.

I sighed loudly and wrap my arms around Tate, putting my head against his chest again. "I love you so much. Don't pay attention to him. Eric isn't worth your time. I have to go soon; I'll text you as soon as we're done eating so you can meet us at my house. Be on your best behavior okay?"

"I will. Love you, be good."

"I will. See you tonight."

I pull into an empty parking spot and wait for everyone to show up. I honestly hated fighting with Tate but I knew it wasn't going to stop until our relationship was out in the open and I wasn't going to allow that to happen anytime soon. I just hoped that we were strong enough to survive all of the storms so in the end, together we can see the sun shining again.

Eric arrived alone and shortly after Allie and Courtney arrived too alongside their newest arm candy. Eric grabbed my hand, intertwining our together and led the group into the small, dark building.

Eric talked mostly throughout dinner with the exception of Allie and Courtney talking to each other in their own little world. I own the other hand was in a completely different solar system. I was nervous about being with Tate and the girls alone inside my house with no one else to be witnesses. I knew that I should have prepped Tate instead of fighting with him. Now he was going to be walking into a battlefield blind and unarmed. Why did I ever agree to this? I sighed heavily.

"What wrong babe?" Eric stopped talking making everyone's attention turn to me.

"Actually I think I ate some bad sushi, maybe it's not the best idea if you guys come over tonight," I try to say but Allie and Courtney aren't listening.

"We ate the same thing Cori. I'm sure you're just nervous about having to hang out with Tate outside of school," Allie said casually.

"I've hung out with him outside of school before," I mutter accidentally loud enough for Eric to hear.

"What?"

"Yeah, we are lab partners. How did you think we did our projects?"

"Um, in class like everyone else."

"Well Tate and I are both 'A' students. We didn't want to half ass it."

"What do you guys do?"

"Well we talk, work on our projects. We took a day trip to the east coast-"

"What?"

"We needed water samples," I try to explain but Eric isn't listening.

"And gulf coast water isn't good enough?"

"We wanted both samples as well as lake and tap water samples."

"Why did I not know about this?"

"It wasn't a big deal. I don't need to tell you what I do with my friends."

"He's your friend? Tate Daniels is your friend?"

"Yeah he's my friend."

"You're not allowed to be friends with him."

"You can't tell me who I can't be friends with. If I want to be friends with Tate I will, he's a good guy and I don't know why people don't like him. Courtney used to be friends with him before she came to this school. I think you and all your self-centered, jock, egotistic friends need to get your heads out of each other’s asses and look around, the real world doesn't revolve around you!" I stand and grab my purse forcefully knocking over mine and Eric's drinks. "Are you girls coming with me?"

Courtney and Allie look at me like deer in headlights before the get up and silently follow me out of the restaurant. They don't speak all the way to my house. They don't even alter their breathing when they see Tate sitting on the tailgate of his truck with a cigarette fumbling between his lips.

I get out and slam the door, stalking to the huge oak front door. I can hear Courtney softly explaining to Tate why I was so mad. "Eric and her got into a fight at the restaurant. It was about you," she adds. I couldn't hear what Tate said back as I stormed into the house and immediately to my room at the top of the steps.

I quickly strip out of my clothes and become even more furious when I find only a few things to change into. Just as I finish changing Tate, Courtney and Allie come walking into my room.

Tate gets to me first, "You okay?" He whispers as he wipes away the unknown tears that fell onto my cheeks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just got annoyed. Everything is fine," I try to reassure him.

Tate gives me a sad smile before stepping aside. Courtney and Allie are looking at us curiously but choose not to say anything. "So," I clap my hands together. "Let's get to work, we only have an hour right?" All three of them nod their heads.

"Tate wants to ask the cooks if they can make us something really greasy and unhealthy?"

"Sure, I'll be right back."

Tate disappears and I wait for his footsteps to fade before saying anything. "Sorry to blow up like that, and sorry that I made you guys choose sides."

"Oh no, we'd much rather be here with you. We're your best friends and Eric is an ass. You can be friends with anyone you want, especially Tate. And we'll be friends with him too. If you say he's a good guy then we believe you," Courtney says heart-fully.

"Thanks."

Tate comes back into the room only moments later and the atmosphere changed completely. I saw a new side of Courtney and Allie. For once they were talking about themselves and their problems but engaging in conversations with Tate and really seemed to take a liking into what he has to say.

"Can we see all of your tattoos?" Allie asks in a slightly shy manner.

"Sure," Tate stands from the chair he was sitting on and strips from his t-shirt. Allie takes in a sharp breath and quickly turns red in the face once Tate smiles at her. He really is a delicious sight to look at.

"Can I touch them?" She asks memorized.

Tate laughs but nods and Allie stands as well and traces the outline of the tattoo of Carol.

"You got that for Jackson didn't you?" Courtney asks suddenly. She had been the least talkative of the two.

Tate looked stunned, "Yeah. I did."

"Yeah, whenever I see the movie or the books I think of you and him. I remember when he insisted on people calling him Max. He was such an amazing little monster," She said fondly like she was recalling the memories.

"Yeah, he was. He loved you, you know, he wanted to marry you. Always wanted to make you a monster but I said girls couldn't be monsters."

"I would have been a monster, for him."

Tate smiled but didn't say anything else and neither did Courtney. I felt like I was intruding on an important step for mankind. Courtney was stepping off her pedestal to join the rest of us.

I was amazed at what I was seeing; Tate getting along so easily with my friends. He stayed way longer than an hour until hours after the sun had set. We stopped working on our projects and instead pigged out on pizza, watched crappy low budget films and laughed until six-packs were visible.

"I should get going, sorry to intrude in your girl night," Tate says getting off the floor.

"I'll walk you out," I stand with him. "I'll be right back."

"See you at school tomorrow," Tate waved.

"Bye, we'll do this again. It was fun," Courtney said with a smile on her face.

Outside of my room Tate freely held my hand until we finally got to his truck. I kissed him expectantly but Tate quickly catches on, cupping my face gingerly.

"I don't like fighting with you," I whisper, with our lips still touching.

"I don't like fighting with you either," Tate nuzzled our noses together. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"I'm going to miss sleeping with you tonight, who's going to talk you to sleep?"

"The television is going to have to fill in. I'll see you tomorrow."

Tate kisses me more time before pulling me into a swift hug before getting into his truck and backing out of my drive way.

I watched until I could no longer see his tail lights. The lonely feeling in the pit of my stomach started to form. I knew that I wouldn't be able to wait for summer to publicly announce my relationship with Tate; I just didn't know the right time to tell everyone.
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OKAY, hopefully there will be more frequent updates as my vacation starts to come to a close. By next week there should be an update like one every other day. I don't have that many chapters to post until the end so I really need your guys help with what I should write next.

Go through all of my unfinished stories and tell me what one I should finish or if I should just start a whole new story. I have like three plot lines that I really want to write about so I could easily come up with a new story. But let me know and I'll love you forever and bake you cookies or something.

This one is a long one so I expect lots of feed back!!!

Later Alligator.
xox.