Dirty Little Secret

I spent the next week doing everything possible to get Tate to trust me more. I talked to him openly at school, I wasn't afraid to bring him up in conversation. I wanted everyone to know that Eric couldn't tell me who I could or could not be friends with starting with Tate.

There was another reason I was trying to earn his trust back. Valentine’s Day was approaching fast and Eric had already made reservation at this restaurant and had plans for the entire day. It wasn't something that I could bail on, at least not for all of it. I needed Tate to understand that this meant nothing.

"Tate?" I rolled onto my side to see Tate's sleeping face.

"Hm?" He said without opening up his eyes.

The sun hadn't come up yet and the clock read that it was just past four in the morning. "Tate wake up, we need to talk."

Tate's eyes shot open and they were full of concern. "What's wrong?"

"Valentine’s day," that was all I needed to say for Tate to know where this conversation was going.

"Okay. Hank is having a small together and you were invited. Want me to tell my dad that you have to pass?"

I shake my head no. I liked going to Steve's work parties, especially when I was invited personally and not as a plus one. "I want to be there. What time is it?"

"Probably around eight or so."

"Okay so I'll spend the day with Eric and the night with you. I'm sorry it has to be like this. Trust me, I want nothing more than to spend the whole day with you, Eric has a way of ruining everything."

**

Valentine’s Day morning arrived. I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with a still sleeping Tate but I pushed myself to continue dressing.

I arrived at Eric's around ten. He was standing on his front porch to greet me. Eric pulled me into a deep and passionate kiss that I hadn't been expecting.

"Hi, sorry that I had to change our plans. I hope that it wasn't a problem changing the reservation."

"No, it wasn't a problem at all. Want to come in, my parents aren't home? My dad surprised my mom to a weekend in Aruba."

"How nice of him," I say walking past him and into the house.

Eric's house was very modern with lots of abstract art work, sharp corners, and vase colors of gray. Eric followed me into the kitchen where a bottle of champagne was sitting on the counter along with two glasses.

"Can I get you some?" He asks and I nod my head.

I take a small sip of the bubbly liquid. I was never a fan of champagnes or wines but it'll make this day more bearable and hopefully go by quickly.

I finish the first glass and Eric quickly refills it while making light conversation.

"So have you gotten any of your acceptance letters yet?"

I shake my head, I had forgotten all about acceptance letters. I probably had some at my house.

"I did, Duke and Brown accepted me right away."

"Are you going to continue football?"

"No, it's time for me to get serious about my future. You applied for Duke and Brown right?"

I nod my head and take another small sip from my glass.

"It would be awesome if you got accepted to either one; it would make my decision a lot easier."

"What do you mean?"

"Well Duke and Brown are both great colleges but if you got accepted somewhere else and went there I would pick the closest place to you, that way we could still spend weekends together."

"How thoughtful."

"I try. It amazes me that we waited this long to start a real relationship."

"It wasn't my fault," I say in a more bitchy tone than I mean to.

"I know," He says quickly. "and I'm kicking myself for being so stupid."

I smile slightly, feeling a bit embarrassed.

"Come here," Eric grabs my hand and pulls me into a gentle kiss.

I was used to these types of kisses. These were the ones that were allowed in public, simple, innocent. Then something changed, the kisses deepened and there was a sense of unknown yet I found it comfortable. Without thinking I wrapped my arms easily around Eric's neck who was only a head or so taller than me, where Tate loomed over me a good foot and a half.

Eric took this as a means to move further; daringly he lifts my skirt lightly, trailing his fingers high on my thighs. Then all too quickly Eric takes my hands and leads me up to his room.

One thing led to another and expectantly my skirt is being unzipped and falls in a pool around my feet, and my top is being dragged over my head momentarily breaking our heated kiss.

Lust took over me and drove my body into a moment of insanity. From the minute Eric ripped open the condom to the minute where we were lying on our backs, catching our breaths. Only then was I able to reflect what I did. I just slept with Eric, I cheated on Tate. I cheated on him right after the huge fight we had about him not being able to trust me. Tate was right; I wasn't able to be trusted. I didn't know why I did what I did. I wasn't, I'm not, in the least bit attracted to Eric. I felt sick, I needed to take a shower, or throw up.

"Want to go for round two?" Eric joked. "We already missed our lunch reservations."

"I can't do this," I sit up straight taking all of the blankets with me.

"What do you mean?"

I get up, wrapping the blankets unaffectedly around my body as I try to reassemble my clothing on my body with one hand. I look at the small mirror on the back of Eric's door to hastily fix my hair. "I'm breaking up with you."

I rush out of the house and to my car before Eric has time to even process what had happened. At Tate's I don't say hi to him in his garage, I head straight upstairs to the showers. I strip quickly, throwing my clothes in a pile so I would remember to burn them. I wanted to make sure every trace of Eric was gone, out of sight out of mind.

Just as I began to wash the conditioner out of my hair, the glass door opens and Tate steps into the shower. He wraps his arms silently around me causing me to jump.

"Did I scare you?" Tate laughs, his hair becoming longer the wetter it gets.

"Yes, I wasn't expecting you."

"Who were you expecting?" He asks quizzically.

"No one, I just thought you were in the garage."

"I was but I saw that you came in so quickly and early I thought I would come ask how your date went."

"Fine, we got a brunch reservation and we ate then I left. It was boring; he talked about college acceptances the whole time."

"That does sound boring," Tate's naked chest was no clear of the grease stains he once had. "I'm sure we can think of something more exciting than that."

Tate smirked and pushed me up against the shower wall, kissing me forcefully. I wanted to give in, I wanted nothing more than to forget myself in Tate but I couldn't, not after what I just did. "Tate, not here."

Tate trails his lips to my neck, biting lightly as he his travel over my breasts. I shut my eyes and focus on his touch. This is what I wanted; I didn't want Eric, only Tate.

Tate hitches my legs around his waist and I feel him against my thigh. Tate turns off the water, gets out of shower with me still locked around him and rushes to his bed where he disposes me still soaked. Tate rummages through his nightstand drawer, extracting a condom. In a few quick steps, Tate's opening the condom, rolling it on, and entering me quickly, not wasting any time on foreplay.

I keep in mind that his parents were problem in their study or bedroom. I try my hardest to keep quiet but Tate has turned into an animal, I grip onto his shoulders, my nails digging into his skin as I feel the pressure building. I meet Tate thrust for thrust until I can no longer take anymore.

I come tumbling down from some sort of cloud. Tate is smiling looking up at me with his wet curls plastered to his forehead. Unwanted tears start to fall from my eyes and to my cheeks and Tate's smile turns into a concerned frown.

"What's wrong baby? Did I hurt you?" He asks pulling me into a sitting position.

I shake my head afraid to open my mouth, afraid to tell him the truth.

"Corinne, tell me. What's wrong? Why are you crying baby?"

It's just... I'm just... I'm just really happy, with you, with everything. I just want you to know that I love you and I only love you and I only want to be with you. You make me so happy."

Tate smiles and gives me a heartfelt laugh. "I'm happy with you too. For the first time since Jackson died, I can breathe easy. I don't have to think because I know you'll still be here. I love you so much."

Tate leans his forehead against mine before kissing me chastely. "Now do you need to finish your shower or did I interrupt the end of it?"

"I'm good," I try to smile as Tate kisses each one of my tears.

As Tate showers I slip into a new dress. I waited until Tate was dressing to start on my hair, straightening each piece over and over before pinning it all back in an elegant bun.

Liz and Steve left before us, wanting a chance to talk business before the dinner party starts. I try hard to ignore the painful knot in my stomach. I knew that I wouldn't be able to hide this secret and the longer I kept it hidden the worse it would be.

**

Tate was quickly whisked away by Mr. Greenwall and his father to talk business matters. Tate was actually extremely smart, it disappointed me that he wasn't trying to apply himself. If he did, it would only be a matter of years before Mr. Greenwall would scoop him under his wing to teach him the ways of his business.

Liz and I got cocktails as we waited for the boys to finish talking and dinner to be served. She looked stunning in her lace dress. It amazed me how long and radiant she looked without any surgery, my mother would have loathed her.

"Tate looks so happy," she smiles as we watch our men from a distance.

"Yeah, he does."

"If only you could have been a fly on a wall before be met you. You'd swear they weren't the same person. Steve thinks that he's on another sort of drug but I know he's clean. This is how he was before everything happened."

"He took Jackson's death pretty bad; he's told me some of it. He let it slip that he had to get his stomach pumped?" I wasn't brave enough to question Tate so I turned to his mother.

"It wasn't an easy time. At a young age Tate got into drinking and pills. He blamed himself, and he still does. The guilt just got to him and everything was overwhelming. I found him in his room and rushed him to the hospital. I know that he didn't want to die or he would have taken all of them. Just to think that was a month before you two met. It's like night and day and as a mother I can breathe because you've helped him see the good in himself that he was having such a problem seeing."

I force the tears back down as Liz hugged me. I didn't want her to see through me. I didn't want her to know that with a few short words I could easily bring that side of her song back again. I didn't want that, I wasn't going to let that happen. I wasn't going to tell Tate what happened, it was better this way. It would be my own dirty little secret.