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Dirty Little Secret

thirtyeight

"I broke up with Eric," I whisper to Tate as we lay in bed.

He was quiet, and for a while I thought he had fallen to sleep. I turn to my side to see Tate's eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling fan that was slowly spinning. "Why?"

It was the dreaded question. I couldn't tell him the real reason, I wouldn't. "I realized how stupid I was being. I didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with someone I didn't want to be with. I wanted to be with you."

"So when can we start dating in public?"

"Not too soon. A couple weeks? Can you handle that?"

Tate nods and smiles. He turns to his side, curling his arm around my torso. I smile along with him, ignoring the tight feeling deep in my belly.

**

I put my bag on the chair next to me and pull my hair out of my face as I begin to assemble my hamburger for lunch. Courtney and Allie are lightly drizzling vinaigrette on their small salads, still talking about the break up.

"But you guys were doing so great! What happened?" Allie asked.

I bit a chunk out of my burger to delay answering. I looked around the cafeteria as I chewed and right before my eyes I spot Eric throwing a punch straight at Tate's face, connecting fist to chin. In slow motion Tate's head whipped back but then Tate threw his fists to meet with Eric's nose which immediately began to bleed. Courtney and Allie turned to see what I had been staring at then turned back to me; somehow they knew that they were fighting about me.

I leapt out of my chair, knocking it backwards, and rushed to stop the fight. Tate and Eric were wrestling on the ground, for a moment Tate would be on top of Eric, his fist bouncing off of Eric's face then Eric would roll both of them over and would attempt to do the same but Tate's covered his face with his forearms.

I grabbed a hold of Eric's arm as he swung it forward, causing me to fall onto the floor next to Tate. From the ground I pushed Eric's chest then arms wrapped around my waist and I was being carried upward. A football player had me clutched to his broad chest while a few others pried Eric and Tate apart.

I kicked my legs at the football player who was still holding me off the ground. He finally let me go and I rushed to Tate as the principal and school cop rushed into the middle of the large crowd that formed.

"Tate," I look up at him with fear in my eyes.

He didn't look at me. He just wiped the blood off of his lip with his t-shirt as the police officer directed him out of the cafeteria. The principal guided Eric and another teacher who came in moments after the principal and cop, grabbed me by my arm and directed me out of the room as well.

"Miss. Page, do you mind telling me why you were caught in the middle of a fight with two guys?" Principal Barnes asked from across his desk.

I sat in a dark wooden chair with an ice pack pressed against my split lip, "I wasn't the one fighting. I was trying to stop it."

"And why were you trying to stop it."

"Isn't that what you do when you see a fight?"

"Normally but a five foot little girl doesn't normally interfere with a fight with two large guys without a cause. I want to know what that cause is."

"I'm friends with Tate and I dated Eric. We recently broke up, I'm not sure what the fight is about," I lie. I know what the fight is about; I just hope that I'm wrong.

"I see. I'm sorry to do this but because you're in the middle of all this I am going to have to suspend you. Since I'm being nice today, it'll only be for a day but if I find out that you asked one of them to fight the other there will be other consequences."

"Yes sir, thank you."

"You may collect you're things and we'll see you Wednesday."

I nod my head, taking my pink suspension sheet and I leave his office. In chairs, sitting across from each other is Tate and Eric. Eric looks way worse than Tate who only a cut on his lip that matches mine. I try to make eye contact with Tate but my pleas go unnoticed.

I knew that Tate would be home shortly and he'd have to talk to me then. So I waited in his garage, he'd go there first to blow off steam, smoke a few cigarettes then hopefully he'd talk to me. I knew that it wasn't going to be pretty but I was hopeful for a better ending.

I heard Tate pulled into the driveway and him slam on his brakes causing them to squeal. I swallow deeply, mentally preparing myself. He burst through the garage door nearly taking it off its hinges.

"Out! Get the fuck out!"

"Tate, can we talk? Please," I wasn't expecting him to be this mad, but I knew he had a right.

"You want to talk? Fine. Please tell me why you fucked Eric then fucked me in the same day!"

"I can explain, just calm down."

"You want me to calm down? I don't think you have a right to tell me what to do. Not after I overheard how you and Eric had sex on Saturday then in his words, dumped you. I had the impression that you went to brunch then you dumped him. Which one is it?"

"Both," I choke out.

"What do you mean both?"

"We... we... Eric and I had sex but I broke up with him. Tate please, I didn't mean it. I love you, only you."

Tate laughs, "I don't get you Cori. You say to have all of these values and you have so much respect for yourself and I had to gain your trust and love before we did anything physical and you claim to love me so much and can't wait for this mess to be done with. But yet you fuck Eric just willy nilly, unless you actually have feelings for him."

"I don't have feelings for him."

"Bullshit!" Tate grabbed the nearest object and threw it across the garage; a hammer went crashing into his motorcycle causing it to fall.

I flinch and Tate immediately collects himself. He breathes in deep before saying, "Get your stuff, we're done."

"Tate no, please. I love you," I rush to him, tears streaming down my face. I try to hold him, kiss him, and show Tate that I love him but he's hard, cold, and distant. I knew that there was no use. I ran out of chances. "I'm sorry. I messed up, I never meant to hurt you," I whisper, slipping his ring off and placing it into his not expecting hand.

In Tate's room I gather my things into the large trash bags that once held them the last time Tate and I fought. I looked around; it amazed me how easily I fit into Tate's lifestyle. I didn't want to leave because this was home now. I no longer knew how function at my house that was too big and too uninviting to be called a home.

I put everything in the trunk of my car while Tate leaned against the cement wall of the garage, smoking a cigarette, watching me carefully. Once I was done I walked back up to him, not bothering to dry my eyes.

"This is it, I'm leaving," I say not knowing what else to say.

"Not my fault," Tate said not looking at me.

"I know, it's mine. I shouldn't have done what I did and I should have told you but I didn't want to hurt you."

"You don't think I'm hurting now? It may not look like it but I'm pretty damn upset. I let you in and I told you everything and my parents love you like you've been here for forever. I let my guard down and you fucked me over. You played me and you can't even give me a good enough reason why you did it."

I couldn't think of anything to say so instead I rose to my tip toes and placed a kiss on Tate's lips. Tate kissed back surprisingly, holding my face bringing us closer together. He tasted like tobacco that I've grown to love over these few short months. I brought my hands up to tangling my fingers in his overgrown hair and cried harder.

"Bye, Corinne," Tate said once he pulled away.

"I love you," I say back to him, turning away to get into my car.

I knew that this was goodbye, we weren't getting back together. I played Russian roulette with my chances too many times and finally the bullet was hitting me square in the heart. I reversed out of Tate's driveway for what would be the last time. I broke a boy who thought he was already broken.
♠ ♠ ♠
What if I told you that this was the end?

lol, it's not. You still have a few chapters to go so hang in there!

I love you all! Don't hate me, it gets better.

Later Alligator.
xox.