Dirty Little Secret

By Fourth of July week I was at nine weeks pregnant. I examined myself head to toe in the mirror on the back of my bedroom door. I was wearing a new bathing suit I bought just for this weekend, but that was before I found out I was going to have a baby. If I had known I would have opted for a stylish one piece. It wasn't that you could tell that I was pregnant, my stomach was starting to pooch out but it just looks like I ate a very heavy lunch. My boobs were bigger, much to my liking. They filled out the top of my bikini quite nicely.

Liz and Steve were having a huge Fourth of July party. Pool, burgers, hot dogs, beer, fireworks, everything that makes you think of America, they more than likely had it. This is when I would be announcing my pregnancy to everyone. I was nervous and the morning sickness that finally kicked in wasn't helping. The only thing that was comforting was the thought of curling up in bed with a book and waiting for the phone to ring.

Tate and I had been communicating through letters as well has weekly calls. I sent him the ultrasound picture of my seventh week and since then Tate's been more opinionated on our baby, unlike the first time I told him that I was pregnant. He asks me how I'm feeling and what I've been doing to keep the baby healthy. He's paranoid because he's not here to make sure everything goes well, it's out of Tate's hands being hundreds of miles away.

Tate has made it clear that just because we are having a baby, it doesn't mean that we are getting back together. Though many couples do get back together once a baby is involved, it doesn't make sense for us. We've both laid all of our differences to rest and we can raise this baby together has nothing more than once distant lovers.

I huffed and pulled my cover up over my head once I heard Liz calling my name from the bottom of the steps. Once I reached the last step she kissed the top of my hair and whispered, "Everything will be okay. Judith will be thrilled," she gave a small laugh and guided me towards the backyard. Lots of people were here, some that I had met during previous occasions and others who I have not met at all. In the crowd I saw a very familiar face. It made me do a double take. The man standing next to Steve at the grill drinking a beer was none other than my dad.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" I demanded once I reached them.

"Well Steve invited your mother and I but your mother is ill at the moment and couldn't come."

"She just didn't want to see me."

"That too."

"So why are you here?"

"Well I didn't have any plans until later in the night so I thought I'd stop by and see where you are living and how you're doing. I've noticed you haven't used the card I gave you."

"No, I haven't. I'm actually looking for a job so I can support myself. I've been trying really hard to cut back on all of the expenses."

"Well, I am proud of you. If you'd like I am put a word out to some business men that I know, there's always someone looking for an assistant."

"Yeah, that would be great. Thanks."

"How are you feeling? Do you like Dr. Rodriguez?"

"I've just started getting morning sickness and I'm more tired but that's normal. I really like Dr. Rodriguez. I have another ultrasound appointment next Monday morning then I have an appointment with Dr. Rodriguez later that day."

"Is anyone going with you during these appointments?"

"Well Liz wants to go but I always tell her that work needs her, so it's been just me."

"I'd like to go with you Monday, if that's okay?"

"Really?" I was shocked. Here was my father that was never even in the same room with my ninety percent of my life and now that I am pregnant he wants to attend an appointment. "Don't you have work?"

"Yeah but I can push some things around. I always liked going with your mother during her pregnancy, I'd like to go with you to at least one."

"Well, okay."

Liz caught my eye. She was waving me over; she had gathered the entire family to a patch of the patio for me to tell everyone at once.

"Want to meet the rest of Tate's family?"

My dad nodded and followed me to the congregation of people. Judith immediately took me in her arms to give me a big hug. Everyone else followed her lead, hugging me hello.

"This is my father, Richard Page."

Everyone gave their own form of greeting before I felt Liz's hand on my back, encouraging me to spill the secret.

"Well Judith, you were right," I say. It was the only was way of telling everyone that I was pregnant without saying those exact words.

"Right about what dear?" And of course she chooses now to be clueless.

I draw in a gigantic breath of air but sputtering out, "I'm pregnant."

This crowd was excited and joyous over the thought of a new baby in the family. Judith immediately put her hand on my stomach to try and sense what the gender of the baby was. I smiled, thinking that the drugs she did during Woodstock were finally catching up to her.

All throughout the day, up until Steve began to set off fireworks, people were coming up to me congratulating me becoming pregnant. It was nice having all of these people eager to ask me how I was feeling and if I wanted a boy or a girl. What got me the most though was that even though my dad claimed that he had things to do later in the night, come time to watch the fireworks he was still there by my side, watching them with me.

**

The technician rubbed the end of the transducer probe over my lower abdomen. You could easily make out a small round head that is connected directly to the torso followed by what would end up being the feet. I smiled as I saw my baby flash onto the monitor, it's heart beat visible on the screen.

"There's your grandchild, Mr. Page," the technician smiled up at my dad who was sitting by my head on a stool.

He grabbed for my hand and held it tightly and didn't let go until I was able to stand up again. The tech told us that the doctor would be in shortly then left us alone.

"How many times do you see the doctor?"

"This is the second time, I'll see him about once a month if everything goes well until the end of the pregnancy," I tell him.

"And how many times do you get ultrasounds?"

"About every other week. I want to get as many ultrasound pictures for Tate since he's not here."

"And how's he taking this?"

"Better now that this has sunk in and he's seen some pictures."

"He was your lab partner right, the one that called me saying you were missing?"

"The very one."

"We you two dating then?" I nod my head, chewing on my bottom lips. I wasn't used to my dad being this interested in my life. "When did you and Eric break up?"

"Actually in February," my dad raised he brow. "We were using each other. Eric didn't want the reputation of a man whore while he worked on a football scholarship and I wanted you and mom to be proud of me."

"You thought a boy would make us proud of you?"

"Well, the only time you really time out of your life was when you needed him to help with a business deal. I also became a cheerleader and was at the top of my class and was president of almost every club at school while still maintaining a social life because I thought that if I was this amazing top dog at school then you'd notice or something but it turns out that all I needed to do was get pregnant," I look at him with a sad smile on my face.

My dad didn't have a chance to say anything as Dr. Rodriguez opened the door to the small room. He went over my chart with me and asked questions about my diet and how I was feeling. He also asked my dad things and my dad returned to the business man that I've always known. I knew that the game of twenty questions was over and a part of me was sad that was.

"Corinne," my dad said, stopping me from getting into my car.

He rounded his car, which was parked next to mine, and pulled me into an unexpected hug. Slowly I wrapped my arms around him and shared the embrace.

While still hugging my dad whispered in my ear, "I'm sorry that I put work before you. It was wrong, you should have always come first and I hate how I made you feel. You are the most amazing daughter a man could ever hope for. I messed up with you and somehow you turned out just fine, but I'll be damned if I'm not a part of this baby's life. I know that you have Tate's family but you also have me and I want you to talk to me or come to me if you need anything. Promise me that okay?"

"I promise Dad. I'll come to you if I need anything, and I'm glad that you came with me today."

"If you ever want me to come with you again just call my assistant and I'll be here okay?"

"Okay."

We finally pull away and before my dad retreats to the driver’s side of his car, I swear I saw a small teardrop easing down the side of his cheek. I smiled thoughtfully as I watched my dad climb into his car and speed of in the direction of his office. Who would have thought that he had a good side?