Dirty Little Secret

I've always heard that the day of your wedding you will get a sense of worry. A nauseous feeling of anxiety. Questions will run through your head about if everything will go as planned, and if it doesn't then what will be done to fix the problems. You wonder if everyone will enjoy themselves or if there was enough food for anyone to want seconds. Some brides even have the nagging thought of whether or not they are making the right decision.

Not me though. I stare at my wedding dress that Courtney is lacing up in the back in the mirror. Though the dress is absolutely simple I feel like I am radiating. I do everything I can not to choke on all the happiness that is bubbling inside me.

Allie and Courtney are my only bridesmaids as well as maid of honors. So they are both matching in a knee-length white dress with a coral band around the waist. Our flowers our exactly the same, only mine is larger.

It took a long time to get here. I was in rehab for nearly a year and a half after the car accident that almost took mine and my unborn child's life. Then Tate was deployed to Japan for a year straight once I given a clean bill of health. That was the hardest; not having Tate even in the same country as me and his one and a half year old.

To calm my nerves I dived into wedding planning and taking care of Jackson who is the spitting image of Tate. His wavy blonde hair hangs messy over his bright, clear eyes. I don't have it in me to cut it because of the way he pushes it out of his eyes just like his father used to. Jack is fearless though, Liz often smiles as I scold him for climbing and jumping off of things. She says that it was the exact way Jackson used to act, Tate's late younger brother. This makes me smile because he was named after him.

Now it's three years later and the day has finally come; Tate and I get to tie the knot. We're having an outside wedding, on the beach that Tate brought me after homecoming and we secretly started dating, and where he proposed to me. I can see the people taking their seats in the warm sand facing the water beat against the sand. There isn't much wind and not a cloud in sight.

"You look stunning," my father said, entering my dressing room located in the building we were using as the reception.

"Thanks Dad," I kiss his cheek. Our relationship has only strengthened since the day he was leaving my mom. Now she is just a blurry nightmare stuck in our pasts.

"I just talked to Tate, he sends his love."

The butterflies rattle against my rib cage. There was no doubt in my mind that I wanted to marry this man.

Allie and Courtney take their place in front of my father and I and they start to descend down the wooden, sandy path until they reach the front of the congregation. I tuck my hand under my dad's arm and we wait until the wedding march starts to play.

Then I see him, as I walk over the sand dunes. Our eyes lock and I can't help to give a small laugh at his goofy smile. He is standing next to two friends of his that were stationed with him in Japan. They are all three dressed in their dress blues. Jack is standing in front of Tate, coming up to the middle of his thigh. All Jack wants to do is run to me, run to his mother but Tate has a hold of both of his shoulders so he's planted firmly in the sand.

Finally I reach my future husband. I kiss my dad and he shakes Tate's as he gives me away. I take a hold of one of Jack's hand and Tate take's the other and we allow the pastor to start the ceremony.

"Tate Michael Daniels, do you take Corinne Elizabeth Page for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," Tate grinned broadly.

"Corinne Elizabeth Page, do you take Tate Michael Daniels for your lawful wedded husband, to live in the holy estate of matrimony? Will you love, honor, comfort, and cherish him from this day forward, forsaking all others, keeping only unto him for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do," I say without hesitation, smiling as well.

"You have prepared your own vows."

Allie hands me a slip of paper for references and Tate takes his sheet from his breast pocket.

"Tate, there has never been anything normal about us and our relationship. Most everyone can agree that are fire and gasoline and the two should never be put together. But when it is, something amazing happens. And something amazing did happen; I found not only myself, but the love of my life and the father of my child. I love you and promise to love you for the rest of our lives."

Tate reaches to cup my face and brushes away a tear with the pad of his thumb before starting his vows. "It's funny because people normally get nervous on their wedding day but I didn't and I'm not. I feel like the moment I met you, it was already decided that I was going to marry you. I might have not known it or even showed it then but it was there. Cori, none of this was in the cards for me. Not happiness, not love, a future, a family. But somehow that has all happened because I met you. You changed me for the better and showed that there are better ways to live than the one that I was living. So I just want to say thank you for not running, for sticking out all the rough patches even though we both wanted to throw in the towel at times. I love you."

We exchange rings and the pastor says, "By the power vested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."

I reach up and kiss Tate tastefully but simply. Then I bend to kiss Jack on the top of the head. We all three turn to face the crowd and there is a round of applause as we head down the aisle again as an official family.

As Tate and I had our first dance I reflected on everything that has happened to us. It's been unbelievable couple of years and not everyone could have come out of it still swinging, but what Tate and I have only happened once in a blue moon. It's the type of love that books are written about or displayed in movies. No one thought that we would make it, but we did.