Hold Me Now

Zack Merrick plopped down onto the couch on the back of the bus, smiling down at the Jack Daniel's being cradled in his hands. Tonight, he was going to get piss drunk alone (and no one would bitch at him for doing so, or ask if he was okay), and watch whatever the fuck he wanted to watch on the telly (which was a rare thing), and he wasn't giving a fuck about the whereabouts of everyone else (which was also rare). Yes, tonight, Zack was completely alone on the spacey tour bus, and being a loner, this made him excited as fuck.

Unlike most people, hanging out with his friends didn't distract Zack from his problems, and that wasn't just because of him being shy. No, being around friends would just remind him of his troubles, because when he wasn't alone, a lanky, Lebanese boy with an adorable grin and stupid skunk hair was attached at his hip.

Do not get him wrong. Zack loved Jack Barakat. The issue was that he loved him a bit too much, and that was a really big issue, considering he knew the guitar player had eyes for someone else.

Zack audibly groaned at the thought of him, his band's frontman. Stupid, fucking charming Alex Gaskarth with an angel's voice and the looks of a god. To be honest, he sort of pissed Zack off for many reasons.

Reason one was that he was just hot to put it simply. He didn't have to work to look perfect all the time; it just came natural. Unlike Zack, who spent most of his time at a gym just to look decent enough to get a compliment from Jack.

Reason two being he had the voice and talent. Zack could play the guitar, and he could sing, but oh no, Alex had to be better at both, too.

Reason three being that Alex was a little bitch most of the time, and a major slut. He always whined about everything, especially his on and off girlfriend Lisa, he used Jack all the fucking time, and he slept with everything that moved, including Jack and regrettably, even Flyzik.

And the most important reason was that Jack loved Alex, but Alex was too blind to see it. He used Jack for a good fuck and a shoulder to cry on, but Jack wanted to be so much more. Alex was just a fucking dick that couldn't see something good even if it smacked him in the face.

Sometimes, Zack wondered why he didn't quit on Alex's ass, but actually, he knew why. He knew it'd hurt Jack a hell of a lot more. Jack needed Zack for when their stupid, fucking lead singer broke his heart time after time.

A searing pain in Zack's hand let him know he'd been digging his nails into his palm hard enough to draw blood, and he hissed, cursing his over-active mind as he stood to go wash it off. Of course, he'd let thoughts of Alex ruin his perfect night alone.

Just as he had applied a bandage to his hand, Zack heard the bus door slam open, and heart-breaking sobs fill the once serene air. But these sobs weren't just anyone's, they were Jack's.

Fuck, he thought, but before he could mentally curse anymore, he heard the curtain of a bunk being opened and closed again, followed by more crying.

Hesitantly, Zack tiptoed out of the back lounge, stopping by the bunk's to open Jack's, but the sobs were coming from Alex's bunk.

Zack tried not to get irritated.

With a soft "Jack?", the bassist slid open the curtain of the bunk, eyeing a startled Jack.

"Wha-Zack, I-I thought you were at the gym. Rian said-"

"Oh." Zack interjected, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. He'd forgotten he'd lied to the guys so they'd leave him alone. He was considering just lying to Jack, but seeing him all teary-eyed made him too guilt-filled to even think about being slightly dishonest with him. "Yeah, I lied because I just wanted to stay here."

The younger of the two chuckled weakly. "Good old-fashioned Merrick."

Zack sighed, nodding half-heartedly. He was really bad with emotional situations. "J-Jack, why were, or more like are you crying?"

Jack sniffed, wiping his eyes and laughing bitterly. "Guess."

"Alex." Zack spit the name like it was acid on his tongue, it coming out more like an accusation than a question.

"Who else can make me this much of a mess?"

Zack shook his head from where he was practically squatting. "You're not a mess, Jack. What did he do this time?"

"Just being Alex." Jack bit his lip, simultaneously biting back tears. "We were dancing, having a good time, he was drunk off his ass. Told me he loved me, then started getting really, well, touchy..."

Zack's face twisted in disgust as Jack trailed off, but he tried his hardest to fight it back. He hummed, though, to let him know to continue.

"I don't know. He was talking about getting out of there, but then some slut starting dancing all over him, asking him if he was gay. He said no, pushed me away, and told her that I was just some loser feeling him up." Jack's voice cracked and his lip twitched as he held back tears. "He then proceeded to call me... Such horrible things, Zack. All because he wanted this girl to sleep with him. He even fucking bruised me."

Jack lifted up his shirt to prove his point, and a bruise was developing where Alex had pushed him. Zack's fingernails began to involuntarily dig into his skin again, this time with more force. The thought of Alex putting his fucking hands on Jack--

"I just...why is he such an ass to me, Zack?" Jack fell apart on that note, sobbing into Zack's chest when he leant forward.

Cursing his inability to be comforting, Zack just swallowed his anger and shushed the guitarist, holding him against him and wiping away tears. "It's okay, Jacky. It's going to be okay. You're going to be just fine."

Jack sniffled, pulling away just slightly to look at the older boy with his shimmering brown eyes. "Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"Hold me."

"I am-"

"No." Jack shook his head, holding out his arms. "Come here."

Zack couldn't fight back the smile, because this kind of holding was definitely a lot better.

Settling Jack in his arms, he exhaled happily, his fingers drawing little patterns on the younger's lanky limbs.

Jack seemed to be much happier too, for he moved his face to the crook of Zack's neck and hummed contently, intertwining his fingers with the bassists, and twisting her legs together in the small space. Jack made himself smaller, adjusting his body in a way that made him and Zack fit together like a puzzle, and honestly, it made Zack's heart flutter. This is what it should be like, all the time.

Jack needed comfort, and Zack could be there for him more than Alex ever could.

Zack just hoped Jack thought the same.

"Zacky?" Said boy questioned, breaking the silence, albeit very quietly.

"Yeah, Jacky?"

"I love you. Thank you for...for this."

Zack's stomach felt like a butterfly exhibit, because even though Jack said those words often, he'd never sounded so sincere.

"I love you, too." The older whispered, simultaneously trying to keep his heart from beating out of his chest. Jack was staring at him, with those eyes clouded over with love and adoration and Zack felt like his face was on fire.

Jack was so fucking close. His lips were only a few centimeters away. If he could just lean down and-

"Zack," Jack breathed, nudging his nose against said boy's. The bassists eyes met the guitarist and he gasped, noticing that Jack's eyes were closing and he was leaning in and fuck, this was happening and fuck-- "Zack." Jack breathlessly said again, a bit more pointedly this time, and he was so close Zack could feel his fucking breath fan against his lips.

And in less than a second, Zack just couldn't take it anymore. His lips met Jack's in a desperate kiss, all sweet and gentle and understanding and perfect and Jack tasted like beer and strawberries and Zack thought he was going to fucking faint.

Jack's mouth worked against his perfectly, his nose slightly nudging against Zack's more than he meant it to but Zack didn't care. Zack loved his stupidly big nose and his dumb hair and his lankiness, and he just fucking loved Jack with everything in him and he was kissing him.

Jack slid his tongue against Zack's bottom lip, running the wet muscle across it again and the bassist offered him the entrance the younger craved, his tongue immediately twisting with Zack's.

There really wasn't a fight for dominance, because as of right now, Jack was all Zack's, and the kiss was heated, but sweet as their tongues intertwined like their limbs, Zack moving to straddle Jack in the small space of the bunk, making it more like an awkward hover. So much for being sexy.

"Zack," Jack breathed, pulling away for air, "I love you."

The younger began to run his hands down Zack's chest, making him whimper a bit. He knew what Jack wanted, and he hated he'd have to deny it.

"I love you t-too." He choked on his own tongue when Jack started massaging his hips. "More than anything. And regrettably," Zack took Jack's hands in his own and off his waist, intertwining their fingers. "That's why I want to wait. This is special to me, Jack. Not just a casual fuck."

Jack whined a bit, which was way too adorable and it sort of made Zack want to cry. "Oh fine, but can we still make out?"

With Jack biting his pouted lip like that, Zack didn't have time to say yes before he was all over him again, working against his mouth and moving back to their previous position.

Moments later, Zack was sighing happily, holding Jack in his arms when he heard the skunky-haired boy giggle slightly.

"I'm sorry I ruined your alone time, by the way."

The bassist chuckled. "Trust me, this was a much better way to spend my night."

Jack hummed, running his finger over Zack's defined abs with a happy, sleepy grin. "I just remembered we're in Alex's bunk."

"Hmm, I just remembered I don't give a fuck."

Jack threw his head back in laughter, shaking his head at his friend or boyfriend or whatever Zack was to him now. Whatever he was, Jack decided he liked this. He liked this a lot.

And maybe, he'd been so worried about Alex Gaskarth, he missed what was here in front of him the whole time.