Everything Has Changed

Hi guys,

Sorry to use a chapter update for this, but as of this particular moment I kind of felt it's necessary so that this might actually get read, haha.

I'm going to be taking a hiatus from writing - I don't know for how long, but it's something that I think I need to do for myself. I'll still be doing my co-write with Bex (In The Company) but other than that I won't be posting any new chapters on this story or my Jordan and Cam sequel.

I'm going to explain - if you follow my stories you'll know I'm long winded, and I apologize but I feel like I do need to explain myself to you guys. When I started posting on here I was so scared, I don't even have words for it. Never before had I actually shared anything I'd written and the thought that somebody would call me out on a bad story line or something that wasn't up to par absolutely horrified and paralyzed me. I grew up in a situation between school friends and my siblings where I'm petrified of letting people down and not being good enough. I struggle with myself the most, as I'm slowly at the age of 19 learning to let other people's comments slide, but it is just that, a struggle. So I have to thank you all immensely for having been so supportive right from the get-go of my writing. You've given me a lot of courage to pursue my writing and obviously continue posting fan fiction stories. I will never have enough words of gratitude for you all, so just know I'm giving y'all a huge hug right now.

Back to the main point of all of this.

These past few weeks I kind of came to a cross-roads of sorts in my life. I've struggled with clinical depression for a few years, and unfortunately I also cause myself some anxiety attacks on occasion (not fun...) So when I found out that I would not be moving back to my home province for the summer it took a huge toll on me. I had it all planned out - my friends from my old Uni were all excited because there was an empty room for me at the apartment for the summer, my boyfriend and I could finally be closer than 500-some odd kilometers, and I'd only be a few hours from my family. However, my job situation didn't allow me to do so, and while it seems petty it was kind of crushing. So now, to add to that disappointment, I have a ton of stress thanks to my school work, and mostly to myself for procrastinating.

Basically I'm finding myself in the middle of a mini-meltdown, in the middle of finals, all the while starting a new job so I can actually make some money this summer. And unfortunately, this has been the case for the past week or two, and I've had absolutely no inspiration or really even desire to write. I've tried - I can't tell you how many times I've pulled up the word document and stared at it, re-read pages and pages of it, and couldn't find it in me to type a single word.

So here is the hiatus, and I really hope you guys understand. As soon as I can try and get myself all figured out again I will hopefully be back, but as for right now I think I have to do this for myself. It kills me because I never once thought I'd have to step away from something I love so much to try and get better, but I guess there's a first time for everything, right?

Anyhow, if you've read all this I'm giving you a humungous hug right now, and I hope you'll be back with me when I do get back.

Thanks,

Hayley