Silent Treatment
Car Ride
On the long car ride to the hotel we passed old beautiful houses that dated back to the 15 and 1600’s. Spanish moss hanging around everywhere. The streets were small in width and the car bounced a lot.
Mother kept checking on me through the rear view mirror. It bothered me so fucking much. I felt a surge of hot red anger spread through out my whole body and my body temperature rose. Before I knew it my eyes were shut tight and my teeth clenched together tightly. My left arm was pressed against my iPod and my right was grabbing the inside door handle.
When I have these, whatever the fuck you call them, moments I guess it is very difficult and hard for me to breathe. Mother made a double take in the rear view mirror and stared at me. I saw this in the corner of my eyes. She had a worried look on her face.
Her voice made me relax my muscles. “Are you okay honey?” I guess it reminded me of the times when I was young and she read to me before my eyes closed and I was asleep.
After I relaxed my muscles my whole body ached. I suddenly want to go to any freaking doctor and tell them what happens to me. I hear mother call my name and I ignore it. As usual.
Out the window house after house pass in front of me as a blur mixed with fall colors. It makes me dizzy. I feel like my neck can’t move and my eyes widen. It scares me…. Make me panic. But…. Why?
What is the true reason why I do not speak? Is it because I want to punish……. Or is it because I am afraid of the words that will come out of my mouth and open wounds that can lead to my death?
Mother kept checking on me through the rear view mirror. It bothered me so fucking much. I felt a surge of hot red anger spread through out my whole body and my body temperature rose. Before I knew it my eyes were shut tight and my teeth clenched together tightly. My left arm was pressed against my iPod and my right was grabbing the inside door handle.
When I have these, whatever the fuck you call them, moments I guess it is very difficult and hard for me to breathe. Mother made a double take in the rear view mirror and stared at me. I saw this in the corner of my eyes. She had a worried look on her face.
Her voice made me relax my muscles. “Are you okay honey?” I guess it reminded me of the times when I was young and she read to me before my eyes closed and I was asleep.
After I relaxed my muscles my whole body ached. I suddenly want to go to any freaking doctor and tell them what happens to me. I hear mother call my name and I ignore it. As usual.
Out the window house after house pass in front of me as a blur mixed with fall colors. It makes me dizzy. I feel like my neck can’t move and my eyes widen. It scares me…. Make me panic. But…. Why?
What is the true reason why I do not speak? Is it because I want to punish……. Or is it because I am afraid of the words that will come out of my mouth and open wounds that can lead to my death?
♠ ♠ ♠
=] I finally wrote A paragraph after soooo many days XDA very short paragraph indeed. =D