A Werewolf's Lullaby

Chapter 1

I gasp for air as my eyes open and adjust to the dark. My heart pounds in my confusion and I try to place where I’m at. Then I realize I’m where I’ve always been, well, for the past few years anyways. Parting faded green lace curtains I look out the old window and I see bright yellow seeping out from the horizon lighting the land. In the distance I hear our rooster calling out his morning song.

The day begins.

~*~

I finish up collecting the eggs from the chicken coop after milking the cows, feeding the animals, and watering the garden. The hot sun beams down on me through the wispy clouds causing more sweat to form on my brow; I hastily wipe my face with my apron as I make my way to the barn.

Walking up to the horse stall, Freyr neighs at me in greeting.

“Did you miss me Frey?”

I giggle as he nods his head enthusiastically. I grab the brush and start brushing at the nape of his neck where he loves it most. Freyr’s tail whips back and forth in appreciation. After a while I finish brushing him and clean out the dirt around his horseshoes. Tending to Freyr’s every need usually keeps the dreams off my mind, but I can’t seem to get it out of my head. I’ve been having the same reoccurring nightmare for the past few years, but it’s certainly not at the top of the list. No, my other is much more cruel, more devastatingly lucid and vivid. I wouldn’t wish my curse upon anyone because of how painful living with it can be. I’ll always have this one true memory of what I did, but over time my recollection of his face has grown fuzzy so all that’s left is this bitter taste of grief in my mouth.

All of a sudden I feel a soft furry nudge against my shoulder that takes me out of my thoughts.

“Aw, I’m sorry Frey. I’m neglecting you.”

I grab what few carrots I had left over from working in the garden earlier and hold them out to him as he nuzzles my hand.

“Belle! Breakfast’s ready!” Mother yells from the house. She must have had some free time for once to make a meal.

I grab a bucket of oats and leave them for Frey then make my way back to the house.

As soon as I walk into the house I notice something is different. My father is sitting at the table, shoulders crouched down and head hung low over his meal. And mother is standing beside him with hands clasped in front of her and a smile plastered onto her slightly aged face. The sight causes my footsteps to falter as I try to decipher their behavior, but my mother gives nothing away and my father is still studying his eggs and toast.

“Sit. I don’t want the food to get cold.”

I do as she says sitting next to father and look at my appetizing meal. My mother sits across from me and starts eating as if it’s the most interesting thing in the world. I take a few bites and look over at my father doing the same while still avoiding my eyes.

“What’s wrong?” I have to ask because neither one of them is offering me anything.

“Hmm?” Mother has deliberately taken a bite of food at the precise moment I ask.

“Did someone die?” The last time they acted like this a good friend of theirs had passed away in the middle of the night. I don’t know what to expect. All of their other friends are perfectly healthy and not too significantly old.

She looks at me with hopeful eyes. “Of course not. Why would you ask such a thing?”

“Father is barely looking at either one of us.”

She gives him a look of betrayal, but it slowly softens into one of sympathy.

“As you know, you are older now and have matured into a responsible, kind, beautiful young woman. We…” Mother takes a deep breath and her eyes meet my father’s. “We have discussed and decided that you are ready to marry.”

My body freezes instantly due to that one word. Marry. My heart pounds in my chest as if the world is going to end.

“I…can’t leave you both here. You need help with the farm. How will you be able to do all that work by yourselves?” I struggle to come up with any better excuse-anything to keep me from ending my freedom. Tied down to a man…my hands clench at the thought.

She waves her hand at the idea. “We will be fine dear. We want you to have your own life; your own family. Finally get settled down. If we need more help we can always hire a good set of hands. Like that one boy-what’s his name? Charles! Yes-him. I’ve heard he’s a hard working young man.”

My face turns into a scowl. The flirt of the town-of all people! He tried to get me to swoon over
him like the other girls, but I wouldn’t have it. To this day he still tries to talk to me, but surprisingly I’ve come up with ways of avoiding him when he’s around. Surely mother doesn’t expect me to court with him…my eyes widen.
“You don’t expect me to marry Charles do you?”

Her eyebrows furrow and she looks down at her hands. “Actually…”

My stomach drops-no…she wouldn’t.

She takes a moment to gather her thoughts. “Actually, he did make a notion to try at your hand, but no, he’s not the man you are to marry.”

Air escapes me before I have a chance to realize I was holding my breath. Maybe there is still time to change their minds.

Mother starts speaking before I can gather myself again. “You are already betrothed. In fact, you were betrothed even before you were born.”

My stomach does somersaults. I automatically put my face in my hands. No! Eyes shut tight in frustration. “To whom?” My voice muffles through my fingers, but I know she heard me. Anyone else in my shoes would have asked the same.

She speaks carefully, as if to a frightened child. In a way I guess that is what I am. I feel too
young to be married, let alone betrothed!

“His name is Rowan. He’s quite wealthy…you’ll be in good hands. Honey, I promise you, I only want what’s best for you.”

A tear slips out of my eye and I sneak a look at my father. He’s even sadder than before-which I didn’t think was possible.

“Father…you agreed to this?” My voice betrays my emotions, but I don’t care. Not right now
when I feel so hopeless.

He finally joins the conversation with a desperate tone. He was against this idea-I’m sure of it. Father would want me to choose my own life.

“Your mother and I weren’t able to have children. We went for a walk once because it was a nice day out. We decided we would go for a walk through the forest. So we did. Me and your mother, we would talk for hours.” At this point he stares down at his hands playing with his wedding ring lost in the memory. “She had this dream where we would run away from the rest of the world and we almost thought that would happen when we came across this most striking palace. We thought we were dreaming.” Father takes a deep breath and clasps his hands together. “After wandering around the grounds and finding no one in sight we walked through the front palace doors. It was the most magnificent place I had ever seen. A vast place with chandeliers at their brightest, a fireplace blazing in the foyer, books galore. Your mother was very fond of that library. The books were never ending.” My mother’s eyes twinkled thinking of them.

Father’s smile fades into an expression of grief, his brows furrowed. “All of a sudden there was a group of people there, without a sound. Your mother and I were so afraid, to imagine someone finding you in their home unannounced. The man I assume that owned the palace told the others to leave the room. It was then that the man told us that in return for us trespassing that our firstborn daughter be wed to his son. So we told him that we would never be with child. He said that he could help us…we had no choice but to take it. Your mother couldn't say no. So he gave us an elixir of some sort. I’m not sure what it could have been made of, but we didn't ask. We were just happy to have a chance at having our own children despite the circumstances.”

That was the price for them to have me? Marriage? My head was spinning with this story.

Wait. “An elixir?” I ask speculatively.

Mother and father look at each other for a moment then he shrugs in response.

Mother says to me quietly, “They’ll be here in a few days’ time.”

That was the end of the conversation for me. I heard enough. I didn't look back to see my parents’ faces as I slammed the door behind me.

I ran to the woods nearby and kept on running hard until I could no longer breathe. I felt something wet move down my cheeks and when I put a hand to touch the substance I realize more tears of frustration. I punch a tree next to me finding that it isn't the best solution to my problems. I curse at the pain, but I also welcome it as a distraction from the situation at hand. Walking a little further into the woods I find the familiar sounds of water trickling over stones so I sit onto a large rock to try to calm my nerves. I gather my legs up to my chest and lay my head down and take comfort in a moment alone.

I was never really interested in being with anyone. Well, that’s not exactly true. Once before, but that ended in disaster. Ever since then I’ve tried to make it a habit not to become close with anyone. I just didn’t see the point in loving someone if I’m only going to hurt them in the end. Better to keep my distance. Keep them safe. I’ve made that promise to myself and I intended to keep it.

For a moment I let myself entertain the idea of being with someone. Would that make me a housewife? No…mother said he was wealthy. That must mean he’d have servants to do household tasks for him. The thought makes me scowl. I wouldn’t even have the simple tasks to keep myself sane, let alone to not be bored to tears. Maybe I could go off and do my own activities. That’s a no as well. Men don’t let women do what they want. They expect them to sit there, look pretty, and do what they are told. Entertain guests…my eyes widen. I’m awkward with people. Social skills are definitely not one of my best abilities. This whole idea screams tragedy to me.

My eyes looked above at the creek, but jumped over to movement across the water. A doe and its fawn slowly made their way to the edge to take a drink. The fawn’s steps were faltering on the rocks as it was trying to learn balance. They drank for a few minutes until the fawn became spooked from a fish flopping out of the water next to him causing the baby to run off back into the trees. The mother slowly trotted gracefully to its young to calm the young babe.

That was it. I could run away! My heart felt lighter at the idea. Why not? It was the simplest answer; I can’t believe I didn’t think of it before. I could go home, pack a bag of my belongings-some food for on the run, and then be on my way. I don’t know where I would go but it was a start. Would my parents look for me? My parents would worry…I’d let myself fret over that later. This was my life that was in danger of change I did not want. Not theirs. Maybe it wasn’t my parents I should fear, but the man who was to be my husband. Would he look for me? Or would he simply leave me be. He probably didn’t even want to wed someone he’s never known. At least that makes me feel better. I’ll be killing two birds with one stone or in this case, setting two birds free with one key. That could make two of us happy by my choice to flee. My thoughts strayed back to the fawn. If that made me a coward to run away from my problems-what I was afraid of, so be it.