Never Get Sebastian Drunk

One gloomy morning Grell was walking around broadly staring at the small scissors in his hand with a frown.

"Why the hell would Will give me these? What am I suppose to do with these snip someone to death? This is ridicules!" Grell muttered to himself.

Then as Grell was walking he spotted Sebastian and he was alone. Grell quickly put his "death scythes" in his pocket and ran toward him happily.

"Bassy! Oh Bassy!" he called.

Sebastian turned around and gave Grell a blank stare.

"Grell?"

"Hello Bassy! I've missed you!" Grell blushed.

"I…wish I could say the same…but I cant" Sebastian sighed as he turned away from the red headed reaper.

"Wait! Where are you going?" Grell shouted as he grabbed a hold of Sebastian's arm.

"To visit the Undertaker, I have some questions for him."

"Where is your little brat isn't he suppose to be with you?" Grell asked as he snuggled close to the poor demon.

"I'm afraid my young master is entertaining some guest at the moment and couldn't accompany me." he said as he opened the door.

"Well I will accompany you!" Grell smiled.

"Oh…wonderful…." Sebastian said sarcastically as he scanned the Undertaker's shop. "Undertaker are you in?"

"I don't think he's here…." Grell muttered as he walked over to one of the coffins.

"I suppose your right…." Sebastian muttered as he looked around the room.

"Well, since we are alone and such…..we can play a little game….it's called undress the Grell!" Grell squealed.

Then the Undertaker burst out of a coffin and started laughing like a mad man. Grell screamed and fell to the floor and started shaking.

"I'll play with you, I like games!" the Undertaker cackled.

"Um….n-no thank you…." Grell stuttered nervously as he ran over and hide behind Sebastian.

"Ah well, welcome butler! Where might be young Earl?" he asked as he stepped out of the coffin.

"I'm afraid he couldn't join me but I am seeking information." Sebastian smiled.

"I see and I'm happy to help…."

"What might the payment be today? The same as usual?" Sebastian asked as he strengthened his jacket.

"Your not going to make us tell you jokes again are you? That was so ridicules and a waist of time!" Grell sighed.

"For a pretty thing like you Ms. Grell, the information will be free." The Undertaker smirked as he traced his long nail along Grell's jaw line.

"Aw your such a sweet man! No wonder why William speaks so highly of you!" Grell squealed.

"What information is it that your seeking lovely Ms. Grell?" Undertaker smiled.

"Well we were….um…well I don't know…" Grell frowned then he turned toward Sebastian. "What were we seeking Bassy?"

"Well I was seeking information about the recent disappearances." Sebastian smiled as he emphasized the word 'I'.

"I see…." the Undertaker nodded.

"Grell, why don't you go over there and let us talk alright?" Sebastian smiled as he pointed to the other side of the room.

"Why can I stay here with you?" Grell frowned.

"Grell, I don't want this information…..to scare you….it possibly could be very gruesome and I would feel very responsible if a lovely "woman" like you had horrid nightmares because of it! So please Grell…..go over there?" Sebastian explained in a smooth gentle voice.

"Oh Bassy! How thoughtful of you!" Grell smiled as he skipped over to the other side of the room.

As Undertaker and Sebastian were talking Grell started to browse the items on the shelves. Then he came across this sparkling blue dust in a flask. So he curiously took it off the shelf and examined it carefully then he felt someone breathing down his neck which made him jump.

"You take a liking to that yes?" the Undertaker smiled.

"Um y-yes….the sparkling is rather pretty….what is it?" Grell asked as he held up the flask.

"That there is a special stone powder." Undertaker smiled.

"No shit! I mean what is it's name?" Grell said in an irritated tone.

"It's name…..well I don't know it's name most people called it that pretty blue sparkly stuff over there." the Undertaker laughed.

"Um I see…..so what dose this blue sparkly stuff do?" Grell asked curiously.

"It is a substance that makes Demons very venerable….it makes them act like they are intoxicated….I call it loopy dust." Undertaker snickered.

"Intoxicated you mean as in….drunk?" Grell smirked.

"Well yes I suppose you can say that."

Grell smirked and looked for any sign of Sebastian then he saw him at the Undertaker's desk looking threw paper documents.

"Can I have this?" Grell smiled.

"Perhaps….you got to tell me what your planning on doin with it." the Undertaker said. "Surely you don't want it just because it sparkles right?"

"W-well….I um…I wanted to use it on Bassy…." Grell blushed.

"Your not usein it to harm him are you? Just all in good fun right?"

"Right! I just wanted to have some fun with him…..he's always so up tight you know." Grell smiled.

"Yes…you may have it!" Undertaker smiled.

"Thank you! How do I use it?"

"Just pour it into his drink…and wait for the dust to take it's effect " the Undertaker explained.

Grell nodded and slipped the flask into his pocket then Sebastian stood form the desk and gave the Undertaker a polite smile.

"Thank you very much for the information it has help me greatly." Sebastian smiled as he walked toward the door.

"Your welcome Butler! Anytime!" Undertaker smiled as he started to munch on some dog biscuits.

"Well I shall take my leave now." Sebastian smiled and walked out of the door.

"Wait Bassy!" Grell shouted as he ran after him.

"What is it Grell?" Sebastian sighed.

"I want to help you!"

"Why would I need your help?" Sebastian sighed. "I'm rather pressed for time…..it's almost time for afternoon tea…I don't need your nonsense."

"But Bassy! I have a death scythe! What if you need my Shinigami powers?" Grell said.

Sebastian stared at the red headed man for a moment then looked at his pocket watch.

"I suppose I could use your help…." he sighed as he got into the carriage.

"YAY!" Grell squealed as he jumped in next to Sebastian and stared to snuggle up against him.

Once they got to the Phantomhive manor Grell followed Sebastian to Ciel's study. As Grell and Sebastian were walking the servants started staring and whispering.

"Who do you think that is?" Finny asked.

"I dunno….she sure is pretty she is! Could that be Mr. Sebastian's girlfriend?" Mey-Rin gasped.

"No….it cant be…" Bard muttered. "Oi! Sebastian who's she? Is she your girlfriend? If so she's very pretty!" Bard grinned.

"Bard….don't be stupid this is master Grell….." Sebastian sighed as he continued walking.

"Oh Bassy they think I'm pretty!" Grell squealed. "And for your information I am Bassy's girlfriend!" Grell smiled as he followed Sebastian into Ciel's study.

"She sure did have a manly voice!" Finny muttered.

"You idiot! Did you not hear Sebastian he said that was master Grell!" Bard said.

"Master Grell….you mean Madam Red's butler? Wow he sure has changed!" Finny gasped.

"Wait! He said he was Mr. Sebastian's girlfriend he did!….Wait….Mr. Sebastian likes men!"! Mey-Rin gasped.

Meanwhile back in Ciel's study Ciel stared at Grell then back at Sebastian with an irritated expression.

"What is he doing here Sebastian?" Ciel growled.

"I thought we could use his help young master." Sebastian smiled.

"Whatever….did you get the information?" Ciel asked.

"Yes I did." Sebastian smiled as he placed the paper documents in front of Ciel.

"Well done Sebastian."

"Why thank you sir….I shall prepare your afternoon tea" Sebastian bowed as he left the room.

Once he left the room Grell sat in front of Ciel and gave him one of his best smiles.

"What are smiling like an idiot?" Ciel asked in an annoyed tone.

"I have a favor to ask you!"

"What is it?" Ciel growled.

"Can….you distract Bassy while I pour some stuff into the tea….then have him drink it….and perhaps give him the rest of the day off?" Grell asked.

"Why would I do that?" Ciel asked.

"Come on Ciel! You owe me for helping you save that annoying girl! Please let me have my fun!" Grell pouted.

"Fine…..I don't care what you do with him…..just make sure he's back in my possession by tomorrow…." Ciel sighed as he started flipping threw papers.

"Oh thank you Ciel! I take it back your so not a brat anymore! I love you!" Grell squealed as he grabbed Ciel and pulled him into a big tight hug.

"L-let…..g-go….Grell!" Ciel gasped.

Then Sebastian came into the room with a tray of tea and stared at the red headed man hugging his young master.

"Grell….would you please not molest my young master?" Sebastian asked.

"I wasn't molesting him! I would never stoop so low and molest some unwilling person….especially that brat!" Grell spat as he flipped his hair.

"Right….." Sebastian sweat dropped.

"What is the tea for today?" Ciel sighed as he smoothed out his hair.

"Earl Grey sir." Sebastian smiled as he poured the tea.

Then Grell glared at Ciel and motioned for him to distract Sebastian. Ciel sighed and nodded.

"Sebastian…..I think I see someone outside…." Ciel said broadly as he pointed to the window.

"Someone outside?" Sebastian frowned as he looked out the window.

Then Grell quickly unfastened the flask and poured the blue dust into the tea. Then Sebastian turned back to Ciel and frowned.

"I didn't see anyone young master….are you feeling well?" Sebastian asked concerned as he place his hand on Ciel's forehead.

"I'm fine you idiot…unhand me!" Ciel spat as he swatted Sebastian's hand away.

"My apologize" Sebastian bowed.

Then Grell nudged Ciel's arm and started coughing.

"*cough* the *cough* tea! *cough cough*"

"Grell? Are you alright?" Sebastian asked as he handed Grell a cup.

"Oh yes quite fine! Just a tickle in my throat is all!" Grell smiled.

"Sebastian…..drink this tea…." Ciel sighed as he handed his butler the cup with the sparkly blue dust.

"May I asked why sir?" Sebastian wondered as he took the cup from his master.

"You look thirsty…drink it in one gulp…..and that's an order…" Ciel said broadly.

"Yes my lord" Sebastian smiled as he drank the tea in one gulp as his master told him to do. "Much obliged sir!" Sebastian smiled as he placed the cup on the desk.

"Oh yes and Sebastian….you may have the rest of the day off" Ciel sighed as he started to read the paper documents.

"Thank you master" Sebastian bowed as he left the room.

"Bassy wait for me!" Grell called as he ran after the demon butler.

Once Grell caught up to him Sebastian was clutching the wall for support.

"Bassy! Are you alright?" Grell smirked as he patted the demon's back.

"Y-yes…..it is just that…..I feel quite strange….." Sebastian muttered.

"Oh dear! Perhaps I should escort you to your room?" Grell gasped as he threw his arm around Sebastian's wait.

"T-thank you Grell….that would actually be quite helpful of you…." Sebastian said with a weak smile.

"Anything for you Bassy!" Grell squealed as he helped Sebastian to his room.

As they were walking the Maid Mey-Rin stopped them and gasped.

"Master Grell! What's wrong with Mr. Sebastian he doesn't look to good! His eyes look like their spinnin round and round they do!" Mey-Rin gasped.

"Out of the way annoying girl!" Grell growled as he pushed past Mey-Rin and dragged the disoriented Sebastian into his room.

Once they got into the room Grell sat Sebastian down on his bed and knelt down besides him.

"Are you alright my dear Bassy? Demons cant get ill right?" Grell smiled as he placed his hand on the butler's forehead.

"G-Grell…..I….I never noticed this before….b-but your rather….b-beautiful…" Sebastian muttered as he took Grell's hand in his.

"Oh Bassy!" Grell blushed.

"And your hair….it is so beautiful it is like passionate fire…." Sebastian muttered as he ran his gloved hands threw Grell's red hair. "It…smells like strawberries…." he whispered into Grell's ear.

Then Sebastian stood as did Grell then he shoved Grell up against the wall and smiled kindly at him.

"Y-you know….I treated you so poorly…because…I …it was h-hard to hide my burning ….p-passion for you Grell."

"Oh Bassy…I've always dreamed of this moment!" Grell squealed.

Then Sebastian's hand slammed on the wall besides Grell's head which caused Grell to look at him with confusion.

"There was a bug…" Sebastian whispered.

"O-oh….my" Grell blushed.

"Grell…..my beautiful Grell…" Sebastian smirked as he cupped Grell's chin. "I'm going to devour the hell out of your lips….." Sebastian whispered as he leaned toward Grell's face so their lips were inches apart.

"Oh….yes…S-Sebastian my darling!" Grell squealed.

Then Sebastian grabbed Grell by the shoulders and was about to kiss him until a knock on the door interrupted him.

"Yes?" Sebastian sighed then a very confused Mey-Rin came into the room.

"Are you alright Mr. Sebastian you looked rather odd earlier….." she blushed.

Sebastian's face then turned red and he started fanning himself.

"Mr. Sebastian …are you alright?"

"Y-yes…..just a tad bit hot….." he muttered as he took off his jacket and threw it to the ground.

"Mey-Rin…w-would you please leave master and Grell and I alone…"

"Of course sir…." Mey-Rin nodded as she left the room.

"Bassy are you alright your face is rather flushed…." Grell muttered.

"Y-yes…it's just that…..when I'm near you….I feel hot…." Sebastian whispered as he caressed Grell's face.

"Grell…lets get naked….I cant stand these silly human clothes anymore!" Sebastian growled as he ripped off his shirt. Then he leaned down and captured Grell's ribbon around his neck with his teeth and started to pull it.

"Bassy…I really do want to get naked with you…..I feel a storm coming every time we touch! But…but I don't want to be a hussy….." Grell said dramatically.

"I thought….you wanted this master Grell…." Sebastian said seductively as he nuzzled his nose into Grell's neck.

"Oh I um…..I do…..it is just that….like any woman….I would like to be married first….." Grell blushed as he traced his figure along Sebastian's arm.

"Your wish is my command my darling Grell…." Sebastian whispered as he got down on one knee.

"Grell Sutcliff…..I want to be your Romeo….and you my Juliet…I want to bring you immense pleasure will you be my wife?" Sebastian smiled.

"OH YES! OH BASSY!" Grell squealed.

"Now….we need some one to marry us….." Sebastian sighed. "Well….I suppose I can do it….I am after all one hell of a butler….." Sebastian smirked as he ran his hand threw Grell's hair.

Then Sebastian grabbed Grell's hand and looked straight into his Green eyes. Grell shivered slightly but still kept Sebastian's gaze.

"Do you Grell Sutcliff….take me Sebastian Michaelis to be your husband?" Sebastian smiled.

"Oh yes! I do!" Grell blushed. "And do you Sebastian Michaelis take me Grell Sutcliff to be your wife?"

"Y-yes…I do.." Sebastian hiccupped.

"Wonderful…..I now pronounce us man and wife…..I shall now kiss the bride…."Sebastian smiled as he leaned over to Grell but Grell put a hand on his chest to stop him.

"Is something the matter my Grell?" Sebastian frowned.

"N-no…..But when we kiss….can there be just a little bit….of tongue?" Grell blushed as he wiggled around flirtatiously.

"I'm not quite sure…of what your talking about…but I can in fact tie cherry stem in a knot using my tongue…" Sebastian smiled.

"Oh…y-yes…." Grell stammered.

Then Sebastian pressed his lips to Grell giving him a deep passionate kiss. Once Sebastian broke the kiss Grell's face was positively red.

"How was that my Grell?"

Grell mumbled something Sebastian could not understand.

"What was that my dear….I'm afraid I couldn't understand you…" Sebastian frowned.

"Y-you….made me tongue tied! Literally I took me a moment to untie my tongue…you weren't kidding about the cherry stem…." Grell blushed.

"I never kid around my dear ….." Sebastian whispered. Then Sebastian scooped Grell up in his arms and threw him onto the bed.

"Are you ready my darling beautiful wife?"

"OH YES! OH BASSY!" Grell cried.

Sebastian smirked and staggered over to the bed and stared to kiss Grell again and within minutes their clothes were off and on the floor.

"Oh I love you Sebastian!" Grell blushed.

"And I love you….my Grell" he whispered in his ear.

Then it all went blank for Grell all he remembers is waking up naked next to an uncurious Sebastian. Grell sat there for a moment and smiled lovingly at his beautiful demon husband Sebastian and stared to brush his black hair out of his eyes.

"Hmm….I didn't know demons could sleep…." Grell muttered to himself then he smiled " Grell Michaelis…..I like that….oh that reminds me…I should change my name tag at work so they will all start calling me Mrs. Michaelis…." Grell muttered.

Then Grell leaned down the press a kiss to Sebastian's cheek but he was interrupted by an all to familiar voice shouting his name.

"GRELL SUTCLIFF!"

Grell jumped and turned around to see William glaring at him by the door way.

"W-Will…..how did you get in here?" Grell stuttered.

"A very confused maid let me in…..but never mind what I'm doing here….what are you doing naked in bed with that disgusting demon!" William growled.

"Hey! Mind your tongue William! That demon happens to be my husband!" Grell snapped.

"Husband?" William gasped.

"Yes for your information we got married last night! I am now Grell Michaelis!" Grell huffed.

"How dare you marry that vermin!" William sneered as he pushed up his glasses with his death scythe.

"He's not vermin!" Grell frowned.

"How did you get him to marry you anyway…he hates you.."

"Well….I had a little help from the Undertaker…." Grell muttered.

"Undertaker?….He gave you the loopy dust didn't he?" William sighed.

"Perhaps…." Grell smirked.

"Never mind that….your coming with me!" William snapped.

"Ok, ok…." Grell growled as he got out of bed William shuttered a bit at the sight of the naked Grell but he kept a cold icy stare.

"William do you mind! You cant watch a woman change like that especially a married one!" Grell scolded.

"Shut up and dress!" William growled as he hit Grell over the head with his scythe.

"Ow ok done be so ruff William darling…" Grell sighed as he put his clothes back on.

After Grell got dressed he looked back at Sebastian who was still unconscious.

"Will…I thought demons don't sleep…" Grell muttered.

"They don't….that loopy dust you gave him knocks him out for a while…" William sighed.

Then Sebastian started to stir in his sleep and with in a few minutes he awoke. Once he was awake he sat up and ruffled his hair in confusion.

"What happened…and why am I naked?" Sebastian muttered then he turned his head to see William and Grell in his room.

"What may I ask are you two doing in my bed chambers?"

"OH BASSY! YOUR SO CUTE WHEN YOUR CONFUSED!" Grell blushed as he jumped onto Sebastian's lap.

"Grell….would you please get off of me…."

"But why? You didn't seem to mind last night! We got all hot and steamy!" Grell blushed as he traced his finger up and down Sebastian's bare chest.

"Last night…" Sebastian muttered as he tired to remember the events that happened the pervious night.

"Remember we got married! I am Grell Michaelis!" Grell blushed. "and we kissed….with tongue!" Grell sighed in delight.

Then the memories of last night started to flood Sebastian's head and he angrily pushed Grell off of him.

"Bassy?" Grell frowned.

"How did this happen?" Sebastian muttered.

"The Undertaker gave him loopy dust that make your kind venerable….not that I owe you any explanations…." William sighed.

"You slipped me Deamon Ebrius dust?….but how I do not remember…..drinking anything form you…." Sebastian muttered in confusion.

"Well….Ciel did owe me a tiny favor…." Grell blushed.

Young master? Sebastian thought with a hurt expression. "I see…..well Grell Sutcliff…seeing that I am not an actual priest….we are not married….and I guarantee next time we meet I wont hesitate to kill you….so perhaps it is wise for you to get out of my sight…." Sebastian smiled.

"B-but Bassy!" Grell frowned.

"Come Grell Sutcliff…..I cant stand being around this disgusting leech any longer…" William sneered.

"Oh William darling! At least you still care for me!" Grell smiled as he tried to run into William's arms but he was stopped by William's foot in his face.

"I am not touching you after you slept with that vermin….you have to sterilized yourself quite a lot before you earn a touch for me…" William sneered as he used his scythe to pick Grell up by the hair. Then he turned to Sebastian and gave him a small bow.

"I apologize for all the trouble this thing has caused you….again I cant believe I have to bow my head to vermin like you….you really do smear mud across the reaper name…" William sneered as he stood back up and started dragging Grell out of the manor by his hair.

Once they left Sebastian quickly got dressed and looked at his pocket watch. Oh dear….I'm almost late for breakfast….he thought as he ran toward the kitchen and started to prepare breakfast as fast as he could. Once he was done he placed it on a tray and rolled it to Ciel's office as he usually did. Once he got to Ciel's office he saw Ciel sitting at his desk in the clothes he had on from the day before.

"Young master….why haven't you changed clothes?"

"I gave you the night off….and I couldn't figure out how to put the stupid night shirt on….so I slept in my clothes…" Ciel muttered.

"Oh I am so sorry young master….I should have been there to dress you…" Sebastian frowned.

"Forget it….what's for breakfast today?" '

"Poached salmon and mint salad and for the sides toast, scones and campagne…and for the tea we have Earl Grey…" Sebastian smiled as he placed the food in front of him.

Ciel nodded and started to eat his breakfast then he noticed Sebastian looking at him with a hurt expression on his face.

"What do you want idiot?"

"I heard….you let Grell slip me Deamon Ebrius…I know you knew full well what that is and what it dose to my kind…." Sebastian muttered.

"Yes…and what of it?" Ciel sighed.

"Why did you let that thing take advantage of me?"

"I was board and I wanted to see what would happen…." Ciel sighed as he started to sip his tea.

"I see…..please refrain from doing it again please…" Sebastian said with a polite smiled.

"Whatever…."

"Now if you will excuse me I must go burn my body…." Sebastian smiled as he walked out of the room and a small chuckle from Ciel echoed threw the room.