Second Go

“Rae, calm down…”

“How can I calm down when Austin is getting charged with a felony Alan?” I asked pacing Alex’s living room and screaming into my phone.

“Hang on a second, god damn…” Alan said and I heard the rustling of him moving around followed by the shutting of the bathroom door on the bus and the sound of the shower running.

“Can you hear me?” He whispered.

“Barely…” I said with an agitated sigh.

“I’m sorry. Look, I’m not allowed to talk about anything. All I can say is he hit a guy outside a bar we were at, broke his nose pretty severely, and Lionel was helping.”

My hand covered my mouth as I started at the wall ahead of me not moving. “Is he okay?...”

“Yeah….” Alan sighed. “It really fucked him up when you left Raegan. I’m not blaming you…but he hasn’t been the same since.”

“Should I come up there?”

“Maybe...we could surprise him. He hasn’t done much but lay in his bunk since he was bailed out. You being around might bring up his spirits.”

“I’ll look up some tickets and text you.” I said turning and facing Alex who was slowly shaking his head at me. “Bye.”

“Not a good idea, Raegan…” Alex said wagging his finger at me.

“What do you mean?” I asked grabbing his MacBook off the coffee table and opening it.

“You know what’s going to happen if you go there? Because I do!” I didn’t answer him and he took it upon himself to continue. “You’re going to go there and surprise him. He’s going to not know what to do with you being there and dealing with all of this and he’s going to push you away. And you’ll be all sad because you’ve been trying to get healthier for him and he’s just not going to care right now.”

“I can book a flight for the morning right now.” I said scrolling through the tickets.

“Fine…don’t listen to me…” Alex said with a laugh. “You know I’m not going to stop you. And you’re more than welcome to crash here when you’re all heartbroken again.”

Alex was at least nice enough to drop me off at the airport for my flight to Indiana. I arrived at the venue a little after the guys had. Alan came out to get me from the taxi with my laminate.

“Who knows I’m here?” I asked as I slung the lanyard around my neck and followed him toward the bus.

“Everyone except Austin. How are you feeling about singing tonight?” He asked smirking at me.

“What do you mean?” I asked trying to jog to keep up with him.

“It may or may not have been Tino’s idea to keep you a secret until Second & Sebring tonight and
have you come out on stage and surprise the crowd and Austin.”

“This is either going to go really well, or really terrible.” I said with a chuckle.

We quickly stored my backpack in Alan’s bunk and made our way to the venue. I stayed up front by the merch table to help set up and avoid Austin. Tino, Phil, and Aaron came up to see me at one point and exchange hugs and small talk. Tino slipped me one of those creepy looking horse masks.

“Have fun with it when the fans start pouring in…” He said with a laugh. “Make sure no one sees you!”

I saluted him before heading to the bathroom to put the mask on and make sure I looked inconspicuous.

I hung out at the merch table for a while helping fans with t-shirts, making sure not to talk. I took some pictures with some of them. I made my way back to the green room and stayed away from

Austin as much as possible. I was afraid if he got too good of a look at me, my body would give away my identity.

The guys started there set and I jumped into the crowd half way through the first song, I almost lost the mask crowd surfing, but I had rigged it so it was almost impossible to pull off. I made my way back to the stage and climbed up giving the crowd a big rock on as Alan cracked up. I danced around the stage, being sure to stay out of the way, but I could tell Austin was getting really annoyed that I was messing up their set. I made my way side stage and stood there realizing how confident I was in a mask. I would have never been able to do half of those things without it.

There was no mention of the arrest and the guys killed it that night. I could tell by Austin’s body language that he wasn’t fully in his right mind, but he was giving the show his all.

“We have one more song tonight!” He said into the mic and I sighed heavily getting ready. Alan gave me a glance and a smile as he tuned his guitar. “This one’s called Second & Sebring!”

The guys held off playing the song and Austin looked around confused. I took that as my queue to get my ass out there. As I made my entrance, Aaron handed me his microphone and I pushed the hood of my sweatshirt down, catching Austin’s attention. He turned facing me confused, panting, and sweaty.

“Dude, stop fucking up our set…” He said to me and I reached up and pulled the mask off and shook my hair out giving him an award winning smile.

“Hi…” I breathed and a small, sad smile broke out on his face. The rest of the band had the biggest smiles on their faces and the crowd was going insane screaming, “Austin! Austin! Austin!”

I walked towards him and pulled him in for a brief hug, placing a quick kiss on his cheek. Tears brimmed his eyes as he pulled back and stepped towards the drum set to pull himself together.

“Hellooo Indianapolis!” I screamed into the mic taking over for Austin. “My name is Raegan, that’s Of Mice & Men, and this is Second & Sebring!”