Tangled in the Great Escape

I walk down the street quickly, passing the different colored houses that line the street of the small coastal town. I've been here for about 2 months but already I know I love the small town my dad grew up in. If only they had more job opportunities. But thats not what I'm thinking about, no I'm thinking about getting to the dock. Soon enough the houses all just blur together as I move faster. My feet slap against the ground, little pebbles stick up into my heels and break the skin occasionally. Afternoon turns to dusk and the sun starts to drop behind the houses, making me realize how long I've been running. I can't help but worry for a second I won't reach my destination before the sun goes but then I see it, the long brown dock. It's breaking and moldy, swaying with the ocean. According to safety laws, we aren't really allowed onto the dock, but a dark figure still stands there. His silhouette is true to him, slim and short. I push myself faster as the thought of seeing him races through my head. 
"Kellin! Kellin sweetheart!" I scream as I get closer to the dock. I get to the steps and leap up, 2 by 2. I finally get onto the platform and sprint the last few meters to my baby. I stop where he was, looking up to meet his face. 
But he isn't here. It was another hallucination. Kellin isn't here, just like Mike and Jaime and Tony. I'm still alone and crazy as ever.
"I'm sorry!" I cry, dropping to my knees and burying my head in my hands.
"I'm sorry I shouldn't have left! Please, I just want to go home! Oh god help me please I just want to go home." I sob,but no tears appear. I'm to dehydrated to even cry now. I let myself fall to the aside and pass out. Maybe this will all be over when I wake up.
I really just want to go home.
==========================
"Please, please wake up! Please be alive," A quiet voice begs me, slowly pulling me into consciousness. I glance up and see an older woman's face, tan and leathery with all types of wrinkles. Her dark brown eyes light up as she sees I'm awake and a smile grows on her face.
"I-I I'm alive," I croak out, choking on the air as it stings my dry throat. 
"Oh thank all the saints, I thought I had found a dead boy!" She cried, rushing out of the room then coming back, this time a glass of water in her hands. I take it from her with a grateful nod and drink it quickly, downing the whole glass. She watches me anxiously and takes the glass and refills it for me. I feel the energy I've been lacking for the past forever come back slowly.
"Are you hungry as well?" 
"Yes, very," She nods and scurries to the kitchen, presumably to get me food. I wait and relax, letting thoughts of going home fill my head. I imagine seeing Kellin again, getting to kiss him for the first time, to get to press up against him and hold him, never let him go. Seeing Tony, who despite his depressionI always managed to cheer up. He really was the strongest of us all. And Jaime, who was basically my brother, we grew up together from birth. He was one of the most loyal people I've ever meet. And seeing Mike, my little brother who I'd give up anything to protect. Mike who always had the best ways to cheer me up, who always pretended not to need protecting. He really did though, and I've let him down. I let them all down.
I wasn't able to think about it for that long though, for the lady came back with a bowl of bean soup and some enchiladas.
"Thank you so much," I smiled as she sat the food infront of me.
"Of course, what's your name by te way? Mine is Maria," She told me, shaking my hand and waiting for my response. 
"Vic, my name is Vic," I told her, and she nodded before turning towards the door.
"Vic is a good name, meant for strong boys. Are you from a town near here, Vic?"I felt my insides twist when she said my name was near for strong boys, because I wasn't strong. I was as weak as they came. 
"San Diego. Not very close, it's in California actually." Maria's eyes widened in surprise when I told her where I was from, but probably because its so far away.
"What are you doing so far from home?"
"I had some problems and felt that getting away from town was in my best interest." She nodded and gave me a sympathetic look, one I was sick of getting.
"Well Vic, I must go into the village overnight but you are welcome to stay and eat as you like. And the shower is that way, once you're finished there are clothes in the room across the hall. Just no parties," She jokes, winking to me. I laugh and promise no parties.
I finish my food after about a half hour and am full, of both food and now energy. I make my way to the window and star outside, the sun is sinking down again but this time no one is waiting. This time I don't see Kellin.
I wander around the hous until I come to her computer. Would she mind if I got on? I slip down to the chair and power it up. The computer takes a while but finally boots up. I open Internet and go to the hotmail site. Signing in, I almost don't want to check the emails. In the past 2 years I've accumulated 450 emails. All from my family. The most recent one is from Kellin, received two days ago. 'Dear Vic,
It's been 700 and 29 days since I've last seen you. Valentine's day is two days away. I wish you were here, I miss you so bad it hurts. I think I'm going to spend this Vday in the bathroom again, passed out with my razors. Yeah, I started cutting again. I'm sorry, I know you didn't want me to, you made me promise not to, but you broke you're promise. 
Damn I'm sorry, I know it's not for me to blame you. But it's hard! I love you Vic, and you're gone! I don't know if you're dead or a alive or FUCKIG someone else and I'm here alone wishing I had you. Everyone is falling apart. Fucking Mike is an alcoholic now basically, he dropped out of school too. I'm to depressed to go to school most days. Tony is in the mental ward right now, he attempted suicide because he had no one to talk to. He says something happened to the two of you and if you got away, he wanted to too. I wish I knew what it was, maybe then I could help you both. And Jaime isn't hyper, he barley talks still. He's lost without you, you're his partner in crime. It sucks. I just want you back. I want you back so bad.
I have to go now, I'm about to faint(I'm so damn dramatic, eh?) so bye Vic. I love you.
Xøxø Kels
He's cutting. Holy fuck he's cutting so bad again, and it's my fault. Mike is a drunk and Kels is cutting and Jaime isn't hyper and Tony... I left Tony alone knowing damn well he needed someone. I need to read all of these messages. All 450. This will be a long night.
*6 hour time lapse*
Where does she keep her tissues? I'm drowning in my own fucking snot. Finally I find the little white squares and blow my nose until the basket is full of them.
I miss them. I fucked them all up so bad. I need to go back, I have to. I can't leave them, I know Kellin and if I don't find him he will... He will end it and I can't live with that.
I make my way to Maria's shower and start it up. I turn the water lukewarm and remove my clothes, letting the dirty cloths fall to the ground at my feet before stepping under the downfall. I just stand for a moment, letting all the dirt and grime of my past wash off, letting it all go. The water pooled at my feet is somewhat murky, reminding me how I haven't showered for going on a month now. 
I look around the small tiled room, searching for the soap but getting distracted by something else. A razor, setting out, not in anything. It resembles something like what Sweeney Todd would use on his victims and my mind begins whirring. 
My one addiction, one of the only constant comforts I have. I used my last razor a week ago, but I want to cut so bad. I could wash it off after?
I glance around the empty room, straining for any signs that Maria came home early, but there were none. I slowly reached out and snatched it up, pulling it back and immediately tearing open the flesh on my thigh. It stung, it stung so badly but I didn't care. I deserve it.
After a few seconds I make another gash, then another and another until I'm numb. I wash the knife off and dry it, putting it where it belongs. I located the soap then went on with my shower, pretending not to feel the burning in my thighs. Pretending not to see Kellin in this same position, refusing to let the thought tear me apart.
Once my skin turned bright red and wrinkled, I turned off the water and stepped out, grabbing my towel and wrapping myself in it. Now, where did she leave the clothes? 
I leave the bathroom and go up the hall a room, almost positive this is where she said it was. I creak open the old door, covered in peeling blue paint and step inside.
The walls are covered in soccer paraphernalia. Teams from everywhere's flags and pictures cover the wall. Bright orange and yellow Jerseys with big black signatures are stapled on, pictures of a small Hispanic boy standing with the teams hang as well. The bed is made with a sea green comfort that looks like it hasn't been touched in years. The desk beside it seems pretty nice as well, in order completely, but seems not to have been used lately as well. The floor is clear with the exception of a single soccer ball. The curtains over the bed are drawn, leaving very little natural light. 
I'm guessing this is Maria's son's room, but why is it so untouched and nice? If he were in collage, she surely would have made it into a guess room, right? 
I take another look around the room and notice a news paper on the desk. I figure this may have something I could use to figure it out, since I'm quite nosy and this was weird to see.
" July 24th, 2003. Juan Rodriguez was found dead today at 2:13 AM in a warehouse on Pointsetta Ave. Causes of death are assumed to be two gunshot wounds to the chest, but are unclear who caused them. Police believe it may have been a result of drug deal gone wrong. He is the son of Maria Santiago and Diablo Rodriguez." 
Oh, I guess this must be her Juan's room. Man, it's been 9 years and I'll bet this is the way he left it that night. 
I figure she won't want me to touch his stuff and leave the room, looking for the one she meant. I glance in the room across from this one, but it obviously belongs to Maria. There is makeup setting out, along with other dresses and shoes and such. 
The last room, the one across from the bathroom, has a dresser, amongst other junk, sitting on the back wall. I push the door open gently, shoving it against whatever is behind it. I trip over the boxes cluttering the floor a few times, probably stubbing my toe pretty badly. When I get to the dresser an open it, I'm kind of surprised. Inside are old band shirts and old blue jeans, though the clothes aren't in my size, I find an outfit that fits all right. 
Once I've secured the large jeans, I head out into the family room and go back to the couch that I had woken up on. I've decided that I'm going to go home, I will because I need to face what happened. And I can't let my family and friends fall apart, I just can't. But first, I need to sleep more.