Anywhere but Here

Zack went out, slamming the door behind him. Jack sighed loudly. What the hell were they supposed to do now? They were room mates, and Alex shared a dorm with ever-absent Rian, who Zack was cheating with—though now it wasn’t cheating, was it? Hah. Funny how things turned out. All this time, when Rian had been gone and Alex was stuck alone, it was because of Zack, when he was going to all of those ‘study sessions.’ Wow, Jack had been stupid.

Well, if he’d ever cared, he probably would’ve noticed it sooner. But his and Zack’s relationship hadn’t exactly been a priority for him. But what were they going to do, with the two of them kind of hating each other and still having to live in the same room for the remainder of the semester. Unless they wanted to do an underground roommate swap thing.

Wait, why would he want to room with Alex.

Oh, fuck it.

Why bother lying to himself anymore? Of course he wanted to live with Alex. That was the dream, right, living with your best friend. It was a huge regret of his, constantly there in his mind, the day that he’d told Alex he didn’t want to be room mates. But he was so hurt back then, and he’d let his pain get the better of him and, though Alex fired the first shot, Jack had ultimately been the one that destroyed their friendship.

Jack should’ve been devastated. Besides the fact where Zack had been cheating on him for the entirety of their relationship—though it wasn’t “technically cheating” according to Zack—he’d been a pretty good boyfriend. Unlike Jack, who was distant and in love with someone else the whole time they were dating. They were together for a year; he should have felt something.

Actually, he did feel something.

It was relief.

He was free from Zack and he was tired of making excuses. He loved Alex and, assuming he’d been telling the truth in their past few encounters, Alex still loved him. So screw Zack—not literally.

But Jack had kind of been a jerk the last time he’d seen Alex…how could he make that right? Damn it, he’d always hated when Alex was right, because that meant he was wrong, and nine times out of ten, it also meant that he had something to apologize for. But how? That was the question.

He couldn’t just say, Hey Lex, sorry for not believing you even though I’ve known you a really long time and know you wouldn’t lie to me, so I was kind of just being a dick by not believing you and yeah, you were also right about us not being over and—

Yeah, that wasn’t going to cut it.

‘Cause if he was in Alex’s shoes, he’d probably be crying right about now. And a simple I’m sorry really wouldn’t do the trick.

His guitar caught his eye, and on a whim, he picked it up. What a thought…it was cheesy, romantic, cliché, stupid, over-the-top…pretty much the perfect apology.

It was five in the morning. He could totally surprise Alex by playing outside the window to his dorm. That wouldn’t be weird or creepy—well, the only reason it wouldn’t be was because of when Alex had randomly shown up at Jack’s room in the middle of the night, so this would even the score—and it would be kind of cute, right? Alex wouldn’t have much of a choice but to forgive him.

So he set off, not making much of an effort to be quiet, since his room mate was nowhere to be found and their shouting match had kept everyone awake anyway. He did feel a bit bad about that part.

As he walked across the campus, he felt the weight of his regret so much more than usual. If they hadn’t screwed up in high school, he and Alex could’ve been room mates. They could’ve been having so much fun together the past couple years. Classes and adventures and parties and ‘studying’ and everything that happens in college. All the things he could’ve done with Alex but had ended up doing by himself or with Zack. Now, though, they had a lot to catch up on, so much lost time to make up for.

He was about halfway to Alex’s dorm hall when, not paying attention at all, mind elsewhere, he ran right into someone.

Someone who was also carrying their guitar and obviously had their head in the clouds. Someone with brown-blonde hair and the cutest face ever.

“Alex, what the hell are you doing?” Jack asked, taking in his disheveled appearance.

“Uh, I was gonna go to your dorm and play you a song,” he explained sheepishly. Then he mumbled, “Kind of a last ditch effort to win you back.”

“Damn it, I thought it was a creative idea,” Jack said, setting his own guitar on the ground. “Well, since the surprise is ruined, I’ll skip the part where I play you a cheesy-I’m-sorry-please-take-me-back-I-love-you song and jump to this part: Alex, I’m so fucking sorry. About, about everything. You were right, you know. I mean, of course you know you were right. With Zack and stuff. He was cheating, and I should’ve believed you when you said that, ‘cause when have you lied to me? And it didn’t even bug me—I mean, yeah, the fact that he’s been cheating on me is a bit offensive, but it doesn’t make me want to cry or anything. We broke up, by the way. And also, you were right about something else. I, Alex, I, I, l—”

“No,” Alex cut him off. “Jack, before you say it, I want to say something.”

Jack sighed. Of course Alex was interrupting him right near the most important part of his profession of love.

“I’m ready. I was seventeen and stupid and immature back then and I didn’t know what I wanted and thought that I could just push away who I really was, mostly by pushing you away. I have lied to you before. I lied when I said maybe it wasn’t worth it, and don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about because you spent the better part of this year throwing that conversation back in my face.”

“Yeah, sorry about that…”

“Anyway, not the point,” Alex continued, talking quickly but softly. “But now, I’m nineteen and, well, I’m still pretty stupid, to be honest, and I’m a little more mature and I know what I want and what I want is you and I swear this time I meant it when I say that I love you, Jack Barakat.”