All My Love

She watched him pack up his belongings from around the rundown hotel he was staying at from the corner. Hesitating, she bit her lip and blinked rapidly to keep from crying. She wanted him to stay, to stay here with her but how was she going to convince him of that?

“Dean,” She squeaked and he lifted his head from folding his clothes.

“I didn’t realize you were still here,”

She had threatened to leave fifteen minutes ago, and yet she couldn’t bring herself to move from her spot. She knew that if she walked out that door, he would be gone for another seven years or maybe even forever. Closing her eyes, she winced as if he had punched her in the gut.

“Please don’t do this.”

He straightened up, tilting his head just a bit as if it was taking everything in him not to lash out at her.

“There is no argument,” His gruff voice was full of emotion. “I have to leave.”

She slapped her hand down onto the small table beside her, causing the both of them to flinch. He didn’t know what had gotten into her and neither did she. Rolling with it, she carried on. “Bullshit.”

“Excuse me?”

Dean completely forgot about his packing and took a couple steps towards his old flame. Her eyes widened a bit and he instantly knew he had intimidated her. A part of him felt bad for acting all closed off and tough around her, he knew how fragile she was.

A part of him loved that about her, he loved that he needed to protect her from all the evil in the word. He knew that as long as she was in his arms, nothing could hurt her. Another part of him, the more dominate one, hated that fact. He hated how weak it made him to be apart from her. She was his first love and seeing her again only made him realize that he had never stopped loving her. Dean was afraid that he wouldn’t be able to save her; just like he couldn’t save his father, Bobby, Jo and Ellen.

The job that brought him and Sam into town in the first place was over, and it was nice to have a moment to breathe, but deep down Dean knew he couldn’t stay. The farther away from Lola he was, the safer she will be. A little voice kept telling him that it wasn’t true, but he ignored it.

“You heard me, Dean Winchester,” She furrowed her eyebrows and deepened her frown and he watched as she put a hand on her hip. “You’re full of shit and you know it.”

He balled his fists as his side. He knew he would never in a million years strike her, but damn it if she wasn’t frustrating as Hell.

“I’m no good, Lola!” He shouted. “You’ve seen what I do for a living. You see that I battle monsters and demons and every other kinds of crap this world has to offer! I can’t stay here with you in hopes that, that kind of evil won’t find me. That it won’t find you!”

“What if it does find me, Dean and you’re not here to save me from it?” She asked widened her eyes that were now glossed over with tears. He clenched his jaw.

“Don’t do that, don’t put that on me.”

“God damn it, Dean! What do I have to do to make you stay?” She asked, getting choked up. “You want me to get on my hands and knees and beg God to make you stay? Name it, I’ll do it. I’ve lost you once to this madness, and I’m not going through it again. I won’t live without you again.”

“I can’t have that kind of life with you, Lola. I don’t get that privilege.”

“Can’t have or don’t want?” She asked in a voice so low that he almost didn’t hear it.

“You think I want this life?” Dean asked dangerously, taking a couple more steps towards to her. “You think I like driving day in and day out, living in crummy hotels and running on no sleep; putting my life on the line every minute, watching people I care about die?”

“It’s okay to be scared Dean,” She took a couple steps towards him until they were chest to chest. “You’re scared to live a normal live because you don’t think you’ll be good at it. You think that because hunting is all you’ve ever done, you won’t be able to do anything else, but I know you’ll be great at it.”

He went to retort, but she cut him off. “No more excuses. Your parents got a shot at it, Sammy got a chance and now it’s your turn. Stay here and live out the rest of your life, here with me.”

“You just don’t get it do you?” He turned away from her and lowered his head. “Those things out there; they know my name and they know my face. They’ll come running straight to you just to get to me and I wouldn’t be able to live knowing something bad happened to you because of me.”

“Then never leave my side,”

He groaned in frustration before muttering, “Unbelievable,” under his breath.

She closed the distance between them once more. Reaching out and grabbing his hand, she smiled at him. “You’re not the one to save the world Dean, you’re not Superman. You’re just a man with admirable strength and you care so much. You’re good, Dean. You don’t have to carry the weight of this world on your shoulders, anymore.”

“If I don’t save these people, who will?” He asked, turning back to face her and pulling her in closer to him.

“No one,” Lola answered him so simply he felt like he was hearing the answer for the first time. “And that’s okay. People die, it’s only natural. No one will blame you for doing what you want to do with your own life. You’re not responsible for them.”

As angry as he was, he pulled Lola to him until they were touching and brought his hand up to her cheek to caress it. “I love you,” He murmured. “But I can’t risk your life like that.”

Her eyes watered up before a tear fell down her cheek and he brushed it away instantly. “I love you too, but I can’t live without you.”

He sighed and she smiled, knowing that she finally had him. “I don’t have anything to offer,”

“All I need is your love,”

He leaned down to kiss her, showing her all the love he’s had for her that had been building over the years and let it all out. She kissed back just as eagerly, pulling him as close as she could get him. The room around them faded into nothing and the only thing that mattered was the kiss they shared so passionately.

Pulling away for air, Lola laughed. “You’re really hardheaded, you know that?”

All he could do was shake his head, a smile tugging at his lips.