Before I Wake

2 hours. That's how much longer I had until I was to be thrown on an operating table and cut into tiny bits, essentially. All my plans of the traditional marriage, honeymoon full of sex, popping out babies and living the happy life were now, officially, going down the drain. Though, I suppose that the marriage and the honeymoon full of sex were still very much an option.

I let out a sigh, trying to quell the nervousness and sadness harboring inside my chest, trying my best to toss aside the negative thoughts clouding my mind. I had been trying to make self comfortable for quite some time, tossing and turning in the hard hospital bed, willing it to feel like mine at home, to no avail.

Zack had been filling my mind, the fact that he wasn't even here had cut deeper than I had ever thought it could. His smile, laugh, kiss, everything about him, was screaming at the forefront of my mind and left a void that I was afraid could never be fixed. I let out a sad sigh, not wanting to think about him any longer.

Chelsea and my father had left me to my own devices a number of hours ago, clearly afraid I would burst into tears at any moment. I had a few close calls, but, I managed to keep the tears at bay, for the time being.

I had been scheduled for immediate surgery the moment I arrived back at the hospital, my cemetery adventure behind me. The doctors rushing about, as though the cancer would overtake me at any moment. I let out a laugh, if only I were so lucky.

"Radical, abdominal hysterectomy; removal of the whole uterus and the tissue on both sides of the cervix through an incision in the lower section of your abdomen."

I heard Dr. Kyle's voice ring inside of my head, again. I suppose she was hoping that if she explained it well enough, it would make things easier. Another laugh escaped my lips at the thought, but was quickly replaced by a snarl.

The thought of them cutting into me , fishing around inside of me to remove the toxic bits that were slowly eating away at my body was not a pleasant one. I let out a frustrated sigh, closing my eyes in hopes that maybe, just maybe, everything happening would be some sort of sick dream.

A sharp knock interrupted those hopes, shattering the peaceful images of a better future right in front of my eyes. My eyes snapped open in annoyance, instantly trying to pin-point who the culprit was.

"Hey, sexy lady," Chelsea grinned, popping her head in around the corner of the door, light streaming into the dark room, she was looking like some sort of red-headed, annoying prairie dog.

I let out a groan, rolling over and dragging the sheets with me, the light cutting through the room with a vengeance. The sharp tug of my IV stopped me half-way, causing me to look like some sort of half-vampire creature, my head sticking out from underneath the sheets, eyes slit and set in a glare at the small firecracker.

"What do you want?" I questioned, my voice full of annoyance. Chelsea simply rolled her eyes, shutting the door lightly behind her and making her way toward me, my glare having no effect on her.

"Do you remember that one time you punched me in the face?" A smirk adorned her face as she sat across from me, conversation flowing effortlessly as she crossed her legs, an amused expression on her face.

I couldn't help but let out a laugh, one that reached my eyes and eased the tension inside my chest.

"If I recall correctly," I began, removing the sheets from my face and quirking an eyebrow. "I did not punch you in the face, you just decided to move your face into my oncoming fist." I finished, feigning indifference.

She let out a scoff, causing me to smirk. She was looking at me with a face of disbelief, her eyes wide and bright.

"Right," She began, adjusting her sitting position via criss-cross-applesauce method and sending me a glare. "I totally just turned my face into your fist. Makes sense perfect sense." She nodded, trying to fight back a smile.

I nodded in agree, a grin spread across my face. "It was the game of Punch-Buggy, you were just too slow to get out the damn way, woman."

She gave me a soft slap across the arm, causing us to bother erupt into a fit of laughter, the memory having surfaced fully.

"Nearly gave me a black eye, you did!" She laughed, leaning into her chair, smiling softly.

I let out a small chuckle, silence slowly filling the room once more after a few moments. Things had been so simple then, with few worries capturing my attention. I furrowed my eyebrows at the memories and how things had so drastically changed.

"Things will be okay, Alaine." She whispered, catching my attention. I sent her a disbelieving glance, not wanting to discuss what would happen after the surgery. I closed my eyes softly, willing the tears to vanish, I had kept them at bay this long.

I felt her warm hand capture mine and I couldn't help the small tears that began to roll down my face. I opened my eyes to face her own and at that time, I noticed she too had wet eyes. She let out a forced laughed, her hand squeezing mine tightly.

"We have become old saps, crying all the time and shit." I let out a laugh, nodding and leaning toward her with the little energy I had. She immediately embraced me, untangling her legs and wrapping her arms around mine.

"I'm scared," I whispered, my voice muffled by her hair. She said nothing, instead, pulling me tighter into her embrace.

For the next hour, we reminisced through every memory we could possibly imagine, trying our very best to lighten the mood and cause me some sort of distraction. I can honestly say this was one of the happiest I had been in quite some time, laughing with pure joy for the first time in a long time.

With my stomach aching in pain after all the laughter, Chelsea left me to get some rest for the hour I had left, which I was grateful for.

"I'll be back in a bit," She smiled, heading toward the door. I nodded, shielding my eyes before the bright light could pierce them. With the sound of the door reaching my ears, I let out a soft sigh, closing my eyes in exhaustion, not bothering to remove the sheets from my face.

Darkness enveloped the room, with only the incessant beeping of my heart monitor greeting my ears. I felt as though there were a massive weight on my chest and no matter how hard I struggled or fought, it was as though it only seemed to be becoming heavier and heavier, dragging all my energy and hope with it.

I felt as though I had only just closed my eyes when a sharp knock startled me awake, jolting me out of my short slumber. I let out a groan, rolling face first into my pillow, knowing that the time had finally arrived.

"Alright, girly," Her Southern voice filling the air, causing me to smile softly despite the situation. "Let's get started!" She finished, flicking the lights on and heading toward me, various nurses in tow.

I let out a soft sigh as I felt my bed being pushed into the hallway, the bright light burning my retinas. I immediately saw my father standing down the hall, the picture of nervousness, pacing and running his hands through his dark, matted hair. Dr. Kyle and the nurses waited patiently, having stopped my travel in order to speak with my father and Chelsea. Catching the movement out of the corner of his eye, he immediately began heading toward me, worry etched on his face.

"Hey, baby, I'll be here when you wake up." He whispered, kissing my head softly. I nodded, a small smile adorning my face. I twisted my head around, searching for the short, red-head I call my best friend, seeing her further down the hall, her ear glued to her phone. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, who the hell could she possibly be talking to?

"Hey, bitch, I'm leaving!" I yelled, earning a few glares from various patients and receptionists. Her eyes were full of surprise as she snapped her cell phone shut after mumbling quickly into the device and sprinting toward me.

"Sorry," She mumbled, practically pushing my father out of the way and smothering me in an embrace. I let out a laugh, returning the gesture.

"Who was that?" I asked, simply out of curiosity, catching her gaze. Her eyes filled with worry and I was immediately confused.

"No one," She smiled, squeezing my hand gently. I sent her a glare, getting ready to call her on her bullshit, but, was quickly interrupted.

"Gotta go, darling," Dr. Kyle drawled, having begun to push my bed toward its destination. I sent both my father and Chelsea a wave, turning away from their gazes as to not see the obvious worry that filled their eyes.

Within a few minutes we had reached the operating room, with nurses bustling about and setting up various machines and tools. It was, unnerving, to say the least. The bed came to a halt and I immediately began to feel the anxiety take over.

"Hey," Dr. Kyle whispered, her voice muffled by the mask that now adorned her mouth and her long hair having been tied and secured long ago. I looked up at her in worry, my thoughts frantic. "We are gonna take real good care of ya, I promise." I saw the corner of her eyes crinkle, knowing she was smiling that sweet smile beneath the mask. I nodded, feeling a bit more at ease as she left my side to finish prepping.

"Hello, there," A new voice entered my ears and I looked up in surprise, a tall, dark haired man entering my field of view. "I'm your anesthesiologist, Martin Luther, like the famous black man, except, less black and definitely not famous." He grinned down at me. I let out a loud laugh, the tension flowing out of me.

"Hey, there, I'm Alaine, the girl these people are about to cut up." He grinned even larger, his infectious smile causing me to grin widely. He let out a laugh, reaching over to his left and obtaining a small, clear mask.

"Well, Alaine, nice to meet you!" He continued smiling, his gaze now concentrated on the machine beside him, double checking that everything was correct.

"I'm just going to place this mask lightly on your face and all I need you to do is count from ten, backwards. Can you do that for me?" I sent him a look at the clearly orchestrated lines that had come from his mouth. He quirked an eyebrow at me, a smirk on his lips.

I didn't have time to think of something witty to say as he placed the mask over my mouth and nose, causing a smell I couldn't place to fill my nostrils.

Ten.

Nine.

Eight.

And then, nothing.