Unison

Tony's POV

I wake up groggy and with a pounding headache. My hang over is evident and harsh. I get out of bed as carefully as I can, slowly, and go into the kitchen for a bottle of water to help my parched throat. I'm not surprised to see Vic's sitting at the kitchen table, an egg and cheese on a bagel in front of him. Vic usually gets up early. He looks up when I enter the kitchen and smiles at me.

"'Mornin', Tone."

I shoot him a quick reply and then toss down half a bottle of water before leaning against the counter, debating whether or not I should talk to him about last night. I probably went too far by going back the bar drunk, dragging Mike out and accusing him of going behind our backs all this time. Still, I'm a little skeptical. If Alex told Mike that he bought Maddy a ticket, why didn't he tell the rest of us?

"Vic, can I ask you something?"

He looks up, surprised. "Sure, man. What's up?"

I slid onto the bench across from him at the table, looking down at my hands while I think of the right way to start this conversation.

"Did you know about Maddy coming out before I did? I mean, Mike told us that she was coming, but he says Alex told him. And I...." I shake my head because I know I sound ridiculous. This is so over analyzed. Vic's just looking at me with a blank expression but when I look up at him, he gives me a small frown. When he doesn't speak, I continue my explanation. "It just didn't make sense to me and I guess that's why I'm asking. It didn't make sense that Alex would tell Mike and not the rest of us. He's not even close with Mike."

Vic slowly begins to nod as he takes it all in. He just stares at me a few seconds before shaking his head. "We all saw her earlier in the day. I'm sorry, man. I'm not going to lie to you."

"What do you mean you saw her earlier in the day?" Anger begins to boil within me and I have to keep myself from lashing out at him.

"Mike came to us and said she called him to tell him that Alex bought her a ticket for her birthday, because she'd never seen them play live before and she wanted to see everyone. Including us. I guess she wasn't ready to see you, or she didn't want it to be awkward or anything, because Mike said we had to keep it on the down low. We went and got her yesterday morning and went out for a little while to catch up. No one knew she was coming back stage though."

I remembered how she said she wasn't planning on using the pass Alex gave her because she didn't want to run into me.

"Why didn't you guys just be honest with me?" I ask, anger evident in my tone although I'm trying to keep it all together. "I wouldn't have been mad if you guys had just been honest with me and told me you were going to see her. I wouldn't have cared. I would have agreed with her. It would have been better if we hadn't seen each other."

Vic shakes his head and frowns again. "We didn't want to lie to you, man. Especially Jaime, but we all wanted to see her."

"Why am I always left out of the circle?" I yell, standing up from the table so abruptly that it skids closer to Vic. He jumps back against his seat in order not to be crushed by the table. I squeeze my way out and stand beside him, my hands balled into fists.

"What the fuck is going on?" Mike asks, resurfacing from his bunk as he rubs his eyes with the sides of his hands. I turn to him, glad that I woke him.

"Why the fuck didn't you just tell me you were going to see Maddy yesterday? Do you honestly think I would have cared? Do you think she matters to me anymore?!"

Mike's hands fall to his sides as his jaw drops just slightly. His eyes drift from me to where his big brother is still seated. I watch as he pieces the scene before him together.

"Yeah, I know, you bastard," I spit at him. "What the fuck?!"

I launch myself at Mike and give him one good shove. He's taller than me, but I'm much more dense. Suddenly, there's a pair of arms around me attempting to pull me back. When I realize it's Vic, I do my best to turn around and push him off of me. He's short, but I've got my height to my advantage. By the time I get him off of me, Mike's slipped past us and left the bus, slamming the door shut behind him.

I turn to Vic, still engulfed in my rage. "I can't trust any of you," I say, my jaw clenched so tight that it hurts. "With fucking everything that's going on with Christine, you can't just be honest with me about Maddy?"

"I'm sorry."

He tries to continue but I cut him off. My face feels hot and red with anger. My fingernails are digging into my palms as I once again clench my fists.

"Were you just going to let me go on thinking that it was just as much of a surprise to you guys when she showed up backstage last night? And don't rehash that shit that you didn't know she was going to show up, because you knew she was there at the show. Everyone did except for me."

When Vic just remains silent, I make my way back towards my bunk to slip on some clean clothes. I don't bother showering because I need to get off this damn bus as soon as I can. I slip my Vans on and sit down to quickly tie them, messing up a few times because of my shaking hands. I slip my phone into my pocket and make a point of slamming the door so hard that it doesn't click into the lock and swings back open. Shoving it shut behind me, I begin to make my way down the sidewalk with no set destination.

I think about calling Christine and telling her what happened, using her as an outlet and someone to vent to, but I know that I can't. She's in the hospital, laying sick in bed with cancer spreading throughout her body - so what right do I have to call her up and express my own anger to her? Compared to her situation, my deliriousness makes me feel even more idiotic.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through the rest of the tour pretending like everything's fine while my girlfriend's dieing back home and the people I consider my best friends all decided to lie to me about something as big as Maddy.

Maddy. After two years, deciding to just drop in on me.

I tell myself that I'm not because because she was here, it's that they all went behind my back.

I seriously consider for a moment using the fact that Christine's in the hospital again as an excuse to go home early. If not for the rest of the tour, then at least for a little while. I can already see her face when I walk into her hospital room, how disappointed in me she'd be for skipping out on time on the road because she's sick. I silently curse to myself, winning looks from a women who's passing me on the sidewalk just at the right time.

At the last second, I decide to duck into a music store I'm passing. I pull out my phone and ignoring the greeting from the man with the lanyard unpacking a box of CDs, I hit the redial button and press my phone to my ear as it begins to dial her number. I walk to the back of the store immediately, hoping no one's back there so I can talk to her without feeling like people are listening. I know I'm being selfish, but I also know she has a way of making me feel like everything's going to be okay.

"Hello?" Christine sounds tired and weak and I almost regret calling her instead of just going to her.

"Hey," my voice softens and I feel my body relax a little bit. "How are you feeling? Sorry if I woke you."

"It's okay, babe," she assures me sweetly. "I was just taking a nap. I have to get up soon, anyway."

I close my eyes and try to get the image of them forcing more chemicals into her out of my mind. I take a deep breath and decide it's best to just get to the point. "Do you think it'd be a good idea if I came home?"

"Tony, we've been over this so many times," she reminds me. "This is what you love and I'm not going to make you miss out because of me."

"I won't be missing out." I have to remind myself not to sound too eager. I don't want to burden her with everything that's going on here. Although I hate to admit it even to myself, the fact that it involves Maddy coming around might have something to do with it.

"You will be. Tour's half over and even though I miss you, I don't want to see you until you guys are ready to come home."

I consider telling her what happened last night and this morning because it might make her a little more open to the idea. I suppress the anger that rises within me the longer I think about it, and then decide that telling her is the right thing to do.

"Do you remember Maddy? Vic and Mike's cousin?"

She hesitates before answering. "Of course. What about her?"

"She showed up last night."

"Really?" is all she says, making it a little more difficult for me.

"I guess she's living with Alex Gaskarth now because they became good friends on Warped a couple years back. He bought her a ticket to the show last night because it was in Baltimore and I guess she's never really seen them play live before."

"Yeah, I remember her saying she didn't really listen to All Time Low much. I guess it must have made their friendship easier that she wasn't a fan on top of it all."

"I guess," I say as I begin sifting throw a row of CDs aimlessly. "Anyway, she showed up last night and I found out this morning they all knew she was there. Everyone from All Time Low and the guys."

"So they lied to you?" she asks, just to make sure she's following me.

"Yeah, they did. I guess after Alex gave her the ticket she called up Mike and told him she was coming out, and then he went and told everyone except for me and they all agreed to keep me in the dark."

She's silently as she lets me speak, but in the background I can hear machines beeping.

"So there's a lot of tension here," I say to wrap up my story. "And that's partially why I want to come home."

I hear her breathless sigh and I wish I could wrap my arms around her. I wish I could be laying on that small bed beside her, pushed up against the edge as not to crush her fragile body.

"I don't think you should walk out because of this. Other people than just the band are relying on you. What about the fans and all the other guys?"

I think for a moment, beginning to pace in the back of the music store. A guy with big plugs and the beginnings of a beard looks at me as he rounds the corner of one of the aisles, doing a double take. Part of me wants to make her proud by finishing off the tour and not calling it quits just because of what happened last night, but her voice is too sweet and it just reminds me of how much I miss her - how much I should have listened to my gut and stayed home in the first place. If I hadn't been so selfish, none of this would have happened.

"I want to be there with you. I shouldn't have ever left."

My stomach twists into knots and my head is still whirling, but something tells me this isn't completely because of how much I drank last night. I lean against the CD wrack and place my forehead against my forearm, attempting to close out the world around me. I listen to her shaky breathing for a while, pretending that I'm actually there with her instead of in some damned city miles away. I try to imagine the colors of her hospital room walls, taking in the repetitive beeping of the machines I always thought were obnoxious until they started to mean something to me.

How much time is left?

"Are you okay?"

I look up and am faced with the same employee who greeted me when I entered the store. He looks concerned with the way his eyebrows are coming together, creating a knot in the space left between them.

"Yeah, sorry," I tell him as politely as I can, but my voice wavers and any chance of playing my actions off as nothing vanishes.

I head to the front of the store, knowing now that here is not a safe place for this kind of conversation with Christine. The sidewalk is worse and I wish I could just find a quiet place and be alone for once; away from the other bands, the fans, even the people passing me on the sidewalk who have no clue who I am or what's going on. The cars passing me are too loud.

I hear someone say something on Christine's end, followed by a muffle, "okay," from her.

"I have to go," she tells me. I know it's time for more treatments. Either that or x-rays. She didn't tell me, so I don't ask. "I love you."

"I love you so much." I try to imagine myself embracing her, trying to find the smell of hospital sheets and generic shampoo the nurses help her use when I'm not there among the smells of the city, but I fail and I know there's only one other way to find them again.