Never Stop Believing

"Brian, where are you going?"

"I have to go!"

"Can you explain to me what's going on?"

"Can you stop to control me just once, Michelle?"

"I'm not controlling you. I'm worried."

"Yeah, you're always worried..." - I left the kitchen where Michelle and I where we were having lunch and ran towards my bedroom to pack my stuff. I agreed with Violet to wait till she call me again to tell me something but I couldn't be here just waiting for some bad or good news. Jimmy needs me there. Violet needs me there. So, while I was packing my stuff, I called to the guys to tell them what had happened with Jimmy. After the first call that was to Matt, Michelle came into the bedroom and sat in the edge of the bed looking at me. I had to tell you something. After all, Jimmy was her friend too and she deserved to know the true.

"Jimmy is in the hospital. He had another heart attack..."

"Oh my God! How is he?"

"I have no idea. I'm going to London right now." - I said putting the last things in my bag. I felt Michelle approached me, taking a bad of the closet. I looked at her trying to understand what she was doing.

"I go with you."

"No, you don't, Michelle. You'll be here taking care of Pinkly and Mr. Bungle."

"Your dad can do this. I have to go with you."

"Michelle, I said you don't need to go, okay? Your sister will stay here so you'll stay with her. The boys come with me; you don't have to worry about this."

"But Jimmy is also my friend and I wanna go there to support Violet. She must be devastated!"

"She's not alone and when the guys and I come there, she'll have lots of support. Now, I have to go. Zacky is waiting for me." - I gave her a little kiss on her lips and went downstairs. I stroked Pinkly's head and walked to the door.

"You're trying to be alone with her, aren't you?" - Michelle said looking at me from the top of the stairs. I'd yell at her to stop saying shit but the truth is, in part, she was right. I didn't want to be alone with Violet. I just wanted to be there supporting her and giving strength to Jimmy to get well as quickly as possible. Michelle could come but she's been too stifling and I need my freedom. I need some time just for me and she's not respecting that. She feels threatened by Violet even me showing her that for me Violet is just Jimmy's girlfriend and nothing more than that. I learned to live with Michelle during all these years. I've met her for a long time ago and she knows that I was never 100% faithful but this time she is controlling my every move and I'm going crazy with this. And this time so hard that I still know nothing about the condition of Jimmy, I needed to go without the shadow of Michelle behind me. So I just looked at her so she could understand I was getting tired about those conversations.
Out there, were Zacky and Johnny waiting for me. We were going, then get Matt and then we headed for the airport. With luck, we managed to flight an hour later.

"Why isn't Europe glued to the USA?" - I said sitting in my place. By my side was Zacky and in the left sit were Matt and Johnny. They didn't answer me. Just looked at me and did a expression of hopelessness. But the worst was yet to come. We had a travel of 10 hours ahead but when the plane had taken off, three girls got up to go to the bathroom. Turning back, the girls stared at us. They looked at us, but we didn't make the case. We could do everything but seduction games... not at all! They began to whisper to each other until they went to the bathroom. We started talking about the situation of Jimmy. He long ago that had those attacks and certainly he stopped taking the medication. But the truth is that it provided that Violet arrived; Jimmy was very enthusiastic and very excited. When we were talking about how happy he was, I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. When I was about to look back, I noticed that they had also tap Matt. we looked both back and were the three girls who had gone to the bathroom.

"OH MY GOD!"

"I TOLD YOU! OH MY GOODNESS!"

"We are your fans! We love you guys! Can we take a picture with you guys?"

"Sure." - Matt said. We took the picture with the girls and they noticed we were not okay and Jimmy wasn't there with us. We didn't really wanna talk about it and our luck was the host who came with the drinks and food. The girls came back to their sit and we, finally, could rest a bit. We ate, we drank, we slept but it seemed time didn't pass. I felt pain all over my body and my head was about to explode. a few hours later, we had arrived to London.
As we had no luggage, only a backpack with some clothes, we ran to the car rental agency. We searched the car keys that had rented and we drove quickly to the hospital but no longer was sufficient everything which was happening, none of us knew how to drive on the other side and with the steering wheel on the right side. And, further, none of us had a great practice driving manuals cars. Zacky took responsibility and he was driving. I confess I was expecting worse.
Nearly an hour on the road, we had arrived to the hospital. We parked the car and got to run inside the hospital. The waiting room was full of old people, children and adults screaming. We looked everywhere and we didn't find Violet until a young guy, about our age, approached us.

"You guys... you're Avenged Sevenfold, Jimmy's friends."

"Yes, we are. And you are?" – Matt asked.

"I'm Phil, Violet's brother. Come with me." - We follow Violet's brother who took us to a small room near the infirmary. When we entered the room, we stumbled upon Violet clinging to her mother, crying a lot. I think that scene broke the heart of all of us. Phil approached her and said something in her ear; possibly told her we were there. She looked back and seeing we were really right there, got out of bed and run to us hugging us.

"Ji-Jimmy is... is dying..." - Zacky was in the middle and she rested her head on his chest and grabbed his sweater, hiding her face on it. She was crying so much that was very hard to understand her but what she had said wasn't true. It couldn’t be true. Zacky put his hand on her middle and pulled her away a bit to be able to look at her.

"He won't die." – Zacky said wrapped her in his arms.

"Each time I ask to a do-doctor or a nurse if he's okay... they answer me the prognosis is reserved and I have to wait till a doctor comes to talk to me. But I’m desperate! I need to see him... if something ad happens to him, it's my fault... it's my fault. I will never forgive mys-"

"Violet, stop... he'll be fine, are you hear me? He loves you a lot to let you here without him. And never, ever, say it's your fault again, okay? You’re guilty of so many things but not to this." – I said pulled her away of Zacky and approached her to me grabbing her arms. Violet cried more and more and I started to feel her body getting weak and falling to the ground. I took her in my arms and took her to the stretcher where her mom was crying too, with her finger on her lips and a scarf hiding between her hands. I lay Violet on the stretcher and she slowly turned to the wall, turning her back on us. I greeted her mother as Zacky, Johnny and Matt did.
That environment was letting us crazy. Matt and Zacky were looking for a doctor to ask for more information while Johnny and I stayed with Violet. Johnny was sitting beside Phil talking about the health problem of Jimmy. Apparently, this was the only thing that Jimmy hadn't told her. I sat near Violet, looking at her mother stroking her hair. I was so nervous that I felt like I would come into the intensive care room and hit a doctor until he tells me what's wrong with Jimmy. We've had to take him to the hospital many times but never like this. This time seemed to be serious and even I didn't know what to do. I got up and started to round and round until ten minutes later, I see Matt and Zacky running to us. Phil, Johnny and I got up and ran to them.

"We talked to a doctor. He comes here to talk to us." – Matt said.

"But did he say something about Jimmy's condition?" – I asked waiting for some good news.

"No... But it seems he's not any better..."

"It was serious this time, huh?" – Johnny said looking down with his eyes full of tears.

"Come on guys! Jimmy is strong! He can get this!" – I said. I looked back and walked towards Violet. I stroked her hair and I approached her to tell her that a doctor was coming to talk to us. She stood up suddenly, clinging to me and to her mother. She was very weak and continued refusing to eat. The doctor approached us with Phil, Johnny, Matt and Zacky. He was a doctor who seemed to have many years of experience and a great career. He has looked tired but seemed very competent. He grabbed Violet's hand and smiled at her sadly.

"It will not be easy to give you this news..." - Hearing this, Violet turned her face and began to cry on the shoulder of her mother. But the doctor quickly calmed her. - "Calm down, Miss Violet. He'll be fine. He just needs to continue the medication. Do you know if he was taking any heart medicine? Tranquilizers or..."

"Yes, he was taking three types of pills. I don't know exactly what it was but I think it was a calming." - I replied. We all knew that Jimmy was taking medication for his heart but we never knew what kind of drug it was. We avoided talking about it because he became too upset to talk about it.

"Exactly..." - Said the doctor, being interrupted by Violet.

"Tranquilizers? Jimmy never told me he was being medicated. He never told me he was ill!"

"This is what I come here to explain to you. Jimmy has a problem with his heart. His heart is very big for his ribcage. His heart has a tendency to increase in volume what does decrease the heart rate to drop and consequently gives a cardiopulmonary arrest. Tranquilizers that Jimmy takes, relieve pressure and anxiety that he may face. By the examinations that we did, he was not taking any medication at this time. He should have had a major crisis of nerves or I became very excited with something and his heart could not take that. Thank God, the paramedics have arrived in time. "

“Why did he never tell me that?”

“He didn't want you to worry about him. He also never told us. Who told us was his mother, Barbara.” – Johnny said. Violet wiped the tears from her face with the sleeve of wool sweater that was wearing and stood up of the stretcher.

“Can I see him? Please…”

“Yes, you can. I’m sorry but just can go two of us. He is under the influence of tranquilizers and a lot of people in the room will only worsen the situation.” - The boys looked at me, allowing me to go with Violet. She clung to my arm and we went up with the doctor to the room where Jimmy was. When we got there, Violet and I panicked seeing Jimmy linked to a series of machines. The sound of heart rate and oxygen masks made ​​that space more intimate and sad. We approached Jimmy slowly. Violet grabbed his hand and gave him a gentle kiss on his forehead, stroked his cheek, causing him to open up just a little bit his eyes. He was yellow, a weird color that seemed he was dead. He didn't almost move himself and I couldn't see my best friend in that condition anymore. He looked at Violet and then at me and smiled slightly closing his eyes again. I approached him across the bed and grabbed his other hand trying to give him my full support.

“I had a dream about a song to our new album.” - Jimmy said, whispering. He was so weak he had no strength to speak.

“What?” - Violet and I asked completely confused with what Jimmy had said.

“Yeah… I was blurred with afraid when I asked Violet to marry me. I thought she would say no. Then I dreamed of a new song. It will be called 'A Little Piece of Heaven'. But I need to write it now because after a while I'll forget it.” - Violet and I looked at each other in shock, and then we went back to look at Jimmy. This time, he was better with color and his eyes were more open. He looked at us with that teasing smile that only he has like if he was making fun of us. He almost died and now was talking about a song? – “Do you have a piece of paper and a pen, babygirl?”

“Are you fucking kidding with me right now?” - Violet said with a straight face, controlling the tears which have taken over her eyes. – “I almost lost you, Jimmy. I saw you almost dying in my arms and I didn’t know what to do. I don't know what would become of me if I lost you.”

“Violet… I already told you so many times… you’ll never lose me. If I had died, you can be sure I’d still with you forever.” – Jimmy said pulling Violet near him very slowly, grabbing her arm, and then he looked at me and smiled. – “I'll never let you suffer. You’ll never be alone. I am sure that if I died, someone very close to me will protect you as much as I do.”