Sweet Misery

Hayley’s POV

“John, meet Hayley. Hayley, meet John.”
As if bumping into him at the pharmacy wasn't embarrassing and mortifying enough, life has decided to throw another curve ball at me. Just from the look he’s giving me, I can already tell he is disgusted by my appearance. I am too. My hair is tangled, oily and greasy and I didn't even wear anything decent. Somebody shouts for Taylor, and he leaves me with John to go help with the drinks. I can’t move, I don’t even dare to look up. I just keep my eyes firmly planted on my feet, as if they became interesting all of a sudden. He’s going to ask about it. He’s going to ask about the bruise, he’s going to ask why nearly every inch of my skin is covered. He’s going to ask why my face is being drowned in makeup. He’s going to walk away, revolted by my presence. John clears his throat a few times, but other than that, nothing else happens.

"How are you?" He asks. Well, isn't that ironic. I’m doing fucking fantastic. It’s not every day somebody sees a piece of your biggest secret.

"Fine." I answer quietly. He scratches the back of his neck nervously.

"I never knew you were in Jeremy and Taylor's band. Small world, huh?" This manages me to smile a bit, and his whole face lights up from this action.

"Yeah, its great. How do you know them?" I surprise myself and John by actually attempting a conversation. If Chad could see me now, he'd call me a whore. He would laugh in my face, claiming how stupid I am for even trying. And I am, there is no way that John is actually wanting to have a conversation with me. He's stuck with me for the time being, and he doesn't want to be rude. I’m a friend of his friends, therefore he has to be nice to me. Nobody ever wants to talk to me. Why would he?

"They both came out to a show a couple years back." John answers.

"Who was playing?" I ask. I'm interested to hear about who Jeremy and Taylor saw without even caring to invite me.
He chuckles.

"I was." My jaw drops slightly and in an attempt to hide the blush rising to my cheeks I walk over to the table full of sodas next to John and pour myself some Sprite in the red cups provided.

"What do you play?"

"I'm not the one with the talent, I just get paid to look pretty." He winks at me and I'm blushing even harder now, if it was even possible. It's been so long since I've actually blushed, or had a normal conversation with anyone. It feels strange, and exciting. "My friends are the ones with the real talent. Ever heard of The Maine?" He continues. I shake my head. "I guess I'll have to show you our music sometime then, huh?"

"I guess so." He laughs, with his full set of teeth in display. I can't help but laugh lightly as well, it's as if his laugh is contagious. "Do you live near here?" I've never seen him before, ever. Which is strange considering he's known the guys for a few years. I would have had to run into him at some point.

"I live in Tempe. I'm staying here for a few days to celebrate the new years." I nod my head in understanding.

"How are you liking it here?" I ask.

"It's nice. The guys and I might come back here and record our next album. What about you?"

"What?"

"Any new records on the way?" I'm in no shape to record any new material. The thought of performing in front of people makes me want to vomit. Mentally and physically, I'm not ready. The time we've taken off since Josh and Zac have left has been too long. I used to live to play music, I took pride and joy in it. We all did, but now I don't know what I live for. I realize I haven't replied to John's question, and I won't be able to. My phone rings and as I check the caller I see that it's
Chad.

"I-I um, have to t-take this." Stumbling over my own words, I quickly walk away to a secluded spot and answer the phone.

"Hi baby." I try my best to keep my voice happy, but talking with John distracted me from reality. A distraction that I badly needed.

"I won't be home tonight." I can hear rustling in the background, and there's a few more moments of noise before Chad continues. "Don't wait up." Silence. I end the call and stare at my phone. He's never bothered to actually call and let me know if he's going to be home. He's gone so much that it's strange if he actually is. My lock screen is a photo I took of Chad and I last year. It was one of the few times he was sober in a long time, and he took me to the beach. I badly wanted to capture the moment in some way, to remember how it felt to have Chad hold me so lovingly. Now, every time I see the photo, it just reminds me even more of the monster that he's become.

John's POV

Disappointment floods through me as I watch Hayley walk away inside the house and answer her phone. Talking to her, it feels so real. She's completely shy, but only few get to see how she really is. Looking into her eyes I can tell shes seen real pain. I'm so intrigued by this small, petite girl. It's like there are 2 different versions of her. The scared, vulnerable side from the pharmacy. And the side I've yet to meet. Looking at the house again, knowing our previous conversation will not be resumed, I walk over to Jeremy by the grill.

"John'O! Help me with the burgers, I need to go to the kitchen and grab the rest from the fridge." Grabbing the spatula from Jeremy's hands, I tend to the meat on the grill. Flipping them occasionally and checking to see if they're done yet.
Hayley walks out of the house, holding trays of hamburger patties and sets them by me. Offering me a slight smile before she walks over to Kat and immerses herself in the conversation. Jeremy comes back out with a package of hot dogs, and I let him take over.

"So I see you and Hayley have finally met." Jeremy says while flipping a hamburger.
I shrug. "Yeah."

"How ya likin' the redhead?"

"She's nice." I reply while helping him sliding the burgers on buns while I top on the lettuce, tomatoes and other necessities. An eerie silence falls upon us for a few moments.

"Have you spoken to Abby since you left? I know things got rough before you came here an-"

"Don't bring up Abby." I speak through gritted teeth.

"John, you're going to have to talk to her at one point. She is your girlfriend, and running away from the problem isn't going to solve it."

"Was, Jerm. She was my girlfriend. Not anymore." I reply, emphasizing on the past tense of ‘was’.

"I'm just saying, you guys didn't exactly leave on the best of terms." He replies.

As she turns around, her eyes meet mine. It takes everything in me to not grab the guy who she's holding and bash his head into the wall. Her face is full of horror. Fuming, I walk away with Jared behind me as he watches the scene unfold in front of him.
"John!" Keep walking. "John." Her voice is cracking, and I can't help but stop and look back. The same girl whom I once wiped the tears from, the same girl that I gave everything to, is now looking at me with tears streaming down her face. Only this time, I can’t help her. I can’t stop her tears. I have to walk away. It takes everything in me to turn around and leave. I toss Jared the keys to my truck, since I’m in no shape to drive. He drives to his house, knowing I don’t want to be near anything that has to do with Abby.
After that, I packed up all of my belongings from our shared apartment. Erasing any trace of me from there, I moved in with Jared who was insistent for me to stay. "Until you get back on your feet." But moving out wasn't enough, with every call, voice mail and text she sent, I was slowly losing my sanity. I couldn't spend the new years trapped in the bittersweet memories. I had to get out.

“Abby moved on, that much is clear. Our relationship didn't mean shit to her, I have to move on.” Her name tastes bitter coming off of my tongue. I grab Jeremy’s beer and take a large sip, washing the sour taste off. Jeremy shrugs nonchalantly. Part of me wonders what Abby is doing at the moment. How she celebrated the New Years, alone and distressed, like I had. Or maybe she was partying, finally free of me. We were growing distant as the years passed, and it was only a matter of time until something happened and we split up. But I never thought we’d leave things as we did. My eyes trail off to where Hayley is, sitting by the edge of the pool with her feet in. The party is in full swing by now, with the sun going down. Our last conversation was too short, and talking to Hayley is too refreshing. Walking over, I seat myself right next to Hayley, taking my shoes off first before dipping my feet in a pool as well. She doesn't seem to notice me, stuck in some sort of fantasy world of her own. Hayley’s the type of girl I could write countless songs about, with her shyness and soft voice drawing you to her. Finally, she seems to snap out of her trance and look to her right, where I offer a sheepish smile. Her mouth is moving, but I never get to hear what she said as we’re both pushed into the pool in front of us.