Silent Restraint

Amare couldn't sleep. She was laying back to back with Sam, Zeke curled up somewhere near Sam's waist. They had become fast friends, which brought a little ball of warmth to her stomach for reasons she didn't really understand. 

She rolled away from Sam, but rolled back moments later when she missed the rise and fall of him against her. His warmth, his broad back and toned shoulders. His smell, sweat and old books and soap and gun powder and leather with a hint of the antiseptic detergent the motel cleaned their sheets with. Every time she moved even inches away from him, she would loose a piece of him. And when she returned, it all came flooding back to her like a monstrous tidal wave that would knock her back a step. She kept waiting for that itch. The itch to leave, run and never look back. That this was all too good to be true and not at all something that someone like her deserved. But she didn't get that itch. Somehow, she was content for the time being. But she really had to pee. 

Thankful for an excuse to move around, she stood up and walked around the bed and into the bathroom. When she finished, Sam was leaning up on his elbows. He was still groggy from sleep, but she knew him well enough to know that he could be up and dressed and ready to kill at a moment's notice. 

"Go back to sleep." She cringed when she realized that last time she said those words to him. 

He seemed to remember also. He shook his head. "Please don't leave again."

Amare crawled into bed and sat next to him, Indian-style. He relaxed back against the pillows and she took his hands. "I'm not going to." Even to her that wasn't enough. She cast around in her mind to try and find some more consoling words to say, like how it was spur of the moment, animal trapped in a cage type thing. But nothing like that came out. Instead she started crying. 

Sam was so flustered by all this emotion she had been expressing lately, that he didn't quite know what to do, so he wiped the tears off her face and asked her what was wrong. She kept shaking her head, unable to speak from holding back sobs. It took her about a minute, but she was able to get a grip and form full coherent sentences without shedding any more tears. 

"I know you wanted a family," she whispered, her voice hoarse. "And I can't give you that."

"I'm not asking you to," he murmured, confused by the turn of events. 

"No, you don't understand. I can't have babies. I--"

His mouth opened in an 'o' and he sat up. "I heard them talking... About Perenna."

"It's because of the Serum. We can't reproduce. I can't... I can't give you children. Ever."

He smiled lightly at her and his hands moved back to hers, his thumbs stroking the fading scars on her wrists absently. "I don't care. I have you."

"Yes but what if one day that isn't enough? What about me? What if I want kids? What about this life? We can't raise babies carrying sawed-off shotguns everywhere. I just... We're in a really shitty position, Sam."

He laughed shortly. "I know, Amare."

"I'm so sorry, Sam. For everything."

"I know you are." He wrapped an arm around her and kissed her head. "I know, Amare."

She leaned into him, remembering his scent. She inhaled it, determined to remember. "We need to find Evagoras. And we need to get Perenna out of there."

"I like the sound of 'we'."

She breathed out a laugh "It has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

"Yeah, it does."

<><><><><>

Hayden frowned to himself. Fozzy was speaking quickly in his ear about another nest nearby. He was trying to focus on what Fozzy was saying, but Emma was removing what little clothes she had on to an obnoxious country-pop song. He was having a hard time thinking about anything but what would happen when her bra came off. 

"But we just wiped one out like... I dunno, two hours away?" Hayden said absently. 

"Yeah, and that's the weird part-" and then the bra came off and Hayden almost dropped the phone. Emma blew a kiss and winked at him, and Hayden swore he was going to hell. 

"Hayden," the phone said and he remembered his serious Hunter business. 

"Yeah. I'm here." His voice was hoarse. 

"The fuck you are. Listen, meet us at Reagan's in like a half hour. And try and be quiet. There's other hunters in that motel and I don't think them knowing you're shagging a monster would go over so well."

The line went dead, but Hayden didn't bother hitting the end call on his side. He did, however, thank god he had such a great brother. 

<><><><><>

"We can go in as a unit and be done rather quick. We probly gon' outnumber 'em, so we can get us another round of hostages," Garth was addressing the group of hunters. Several of them had left, so it has boiled down to just the Winchesters and Amare, the Vascos, Gerard, Garth, June and a hunter named Max Smith. 

Amare kept glancing nervously between Sam and Garth. Sam put an hand on her knee and tried to ask her what was wrong via facial expressions, but either she didn't understand or didn't want to respond. Whatever it was, though, was bubbling at her lips. And then, mostly because she wanted to avoid letting Gerard talk, she spoke up. 

"It's a trap," she said. "This is all too convenient and Jason is too smart. He wouldn't allow two nests to exist so close together and he certainly wouldn't allow one to spring up right where another one was torn down. Either this is a nest of newborns who don't know any better, or Jason's whole damn army is waiting for you to march up to their front door. Garth, we can't go in there. Ignore it."

"Bayleigh," Garth said. "I wish we could, but we already got casualties. We're going in."

"Who's Jason?" June asked from her seat on the floor beside Gerard. 

"He's the vampire in charge of everything," Amare replied dismissively. "And he's vicious. He's the oldest vampire I know, and blood thirsty is a minor character trait. I would rather be bloody and dying in a room with the alpha than with this vampire. And he will be there, along with his personal guard who are just as frightening as him." She looked back at Sam. "You can't go."

"How do you know so much Bayleigh?" Gerard asked, saying her name with a sneer.

"I've been fighting this war since before you were born, Kid," she shot back"But you aren't listening. This is a suicide mission. You're all going to die. And-" she looked at her hands and then back up "-I won't go to watch you all die." She stood. "I'm sorry, but..." She didn't finish, just shook her head and left. 

Gerard stood and shrugged, then said, "Eh, what does the bitch know anyways."

Sam, Dean, and Garth stood at the same time. And just like that, Gerard was on his way to the airport, June riding shotgun, both told not to come back to the states. 

<><><><><>

"Soulmates?" Dean asked, his face pinched. He was packing a duffle bag as he and Sam talked. 

"Soulmates," Sam nodded, his bag already packed. 

Amare was out taking a drive with Zeke in her truck. She was still mad that they were going, even though the whole thing had been decided over a week ago. Dex, equally as distressed over the situation, had left when Sam arrived claiming she was going to go 'drink myself into a sloppy stupor until you come back'.

Now, Dean looked at Sam, waving the sheathed machete in his hand vaguely between him and the door. "Soulmates, though."

"Yeah, Dean," Sam laughed lightly. "Listen, it isn't all that crazy. Ancient Greeks believed that humans used to have four arms, four legs, and two faces. Zeus felt threatened by their power and split them in half, each half always looking for the other one."

"Yeah but didn't we kill Zeus? Didn't that like ex-nay all of his curse-y, uh, stuff?"

"Well, technically Artemis killed Zeus, and this wasn't a curse. It's just, like, the consequence of what he did to humans."

Dean looked at his brother blankly, then shrugged. "Whatever you say, bro." He pouted his lips, as if deciding whether or not he was done talking, then blinked and nodded once before going out the door, duffle bag slung over his shoulder. 

Sam followed him, laughing, saying, "Bro?" His smile grew wider when he got outside. 

The Dodge was parked next to the Impala and Amare was leaning against the grill. Sam kissed the top of her head. 

"I knew you'd come."

"Yeah well not for want. I'm just not gonna let you die alone."

He chuckled. "Whatever works."