War Against Ourselves
Real, Oh I Don't Wanna Go Anymore
You settled in like a new family member, a persistent one at that. You seemed to take control of everything. You wouldn't let me be alone, not even for a second.
When you did leave for that week or so I could feel myself begin to be at ease. Happy. I smiled a good bit but I knew it wouldn't last, does it ever really end? You were always going to be here no matter what.
I'd try everything to get rid of you but sometimes your grip was just so strong. I was spiraling into an abyss, I could feel it.
Nothing seemed appealing at the moment, not even solitude. That just seemed to make it worse. I think it made you angry when I was happy because that meant that you were alone.
Sometimes I feel like it's my fault. Maybe I brought it upon myself and that I deserve this fate but why? I can feel myself breaking down because of you and the tears won't stop. Why are you doing this to me?
What are you getting out of this in the end? Do you just like to see me fall to pieces or is it just all in my head?
When you did leave for that week or so I could feel myself begin to be at ease. Happy. I smiled a good bit but I knew it wouldn't last, does it ever really end? You were always going to be here no matter what.
I'd try everything to get rid of you but sometimes your grip was just so strong. I was spiraling into an abyss, I could feel it.
Nothing seemed appealing at the moment, not even solitude. That just seemed to make it worse. I think it made you angry when I was happy because that meant that you were alone.
Sometimes I feel like it's my fault. Maybe I brought it upon myself and that I deserve this fate but why? I can feel myself breaking down because of you and the tears won't stop. Why are you doing this to me?
What are you getting out of this in the end? Do you just like to see me fall to pieces or is it just all in my head?