But I Still Hold Your Breath

“I can’t stand you!” the slender teenage girl standing in front of a tall, slightly muscular boy screamed out at him. Her fiery red hair whipped out in all directions as she frantically shook her head. She directed her glare towards him and narrowed her almond, evergreen eyes. “Why do you have to be this way?! Do you enjoy getting me angry?!” She stomped her foot in a childish manner and curled her small hands into fists, watching the boy as he stood with a lost look in his sky blue orbs.

“But Alessia-” She pursed her lips and held her hand up in a way of getting the boy to stop talking. He placed his own hand against hers, a pale cream against golden wheat. She looked away from him and sighed. He placed his hands gently against her face. Their skin tones contrasted greatly, a gold stone melting into ivory silk as she leaned into his touch and closed her eyes shut. The glitter green eye shadow she wore shimmered as she fluttered her eyes and sighed once again. Wrapping her arms around him, she pulled herself close to him and placed a quick kiss on his parted lips.

He laid her head on his chest right above his heart and whispered her words against the beating of his heart.

“I love you, Doer.” He laid his head on top of hers.

“Don’t bother because this love is a lie.”

~~~~~~*~~~~~~
“She hates me.” Crystal tears slowly trickled down her face as he held her in his arms and gently rocked them both.
“She doesn’t hate you Alicia. No one could hate you.” She gripped his shirt tighter.
“But she does hate me! Your entire family is against us being together! MY family doesn’t want us to be together…they don’t understand our love…” She grew quiet and became lost in her thoughts of the ill treatment she received that weekend at the hands of his family. “We’re always being watched… like they’re just waiting for us to mess up so they can break us, so they can tear us apart.” He hugged her close to his body and ran his hand through her wavy, fiery locks.

“Keep talking because I love to hear the sound of your voice.”
“Do you love me, Doer?” He smoothed her tears away with his thumb and looked down into her eyes. They stared into each other’s eyes for a few moments, a silent prayer in hers begging him to say those simple meaningful words.

“Alicia, I gave up everything for you; I’ve stood by your side through everything you’ve faced, I’ve wiped away your tears, I’ve held you up when all you wanted to do was fall…of course I love you. So smile! Smile! For me…”
She leaned up and gently kissed his lips. “I only want to be yours…”
“You’ll only be mine.”

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~
“Doer, I love you with all my heart and I can’t stand to be away from you…but my family is going to move to New York.” Alicia held back tears as she watched the smile that had graced his lips melt away. He quickly grabbed her hands and looked her in the eyes.
“You’re going to leave me?” His voice dripped the hurt and lost emotions he felt and it broke her already breaking heart. She flung herself into his arms.

“No! Doer I can’t leave you. I don’t want to be away from your side. I love you with all my heart, but the others don’t understand.”
“Forget them all! They don’t love you the way I do. Stay with me Alicia. Stay with me and be my young, fiery spirited bride.” He let go of one hand slowly got to his knees. Alicia let out a small gasp of surprise and stood frozen with wide green eyes watching him.
“D-Doer, what are you-“
“I’m being selfish wanting to keep you all to myself. I love you Alicia and want you to stay by my side. I want to be able to hold you and kiss you without cold eyes watching and judging, but no matter what happens, I will always love you. So Alessia, will you marry me?” With tears in her eyes and a smile on her lips she lunged into his open arms and crashed her plump, pink lips to his.

~~~~~~*~~~~~~~
As he stood at the foot of the altar, dressed in a traditional black tuxedo with a red rose in the pocket, Deor could feel the disapproving eyes of family and friends as they bore holes into him. He shrugged them off and focused on the slim figured girl who timidly walked down the aisle holding a bouquet or red and white roses. Her snow white dress fit her figure perfectly, showing off her curves but flowed out at the waist into a ball gown style. Its silver jewels and beading sparkled and winked in the light of the small church. Her now graceful steps were in tune with the music as her veiled face stared ahead. The cold whispered words around her reached her ears and doubt floated in her eyes. Reaching the altar she faced her soon to be husband and smiled sadly.

“Deor, I do love you with all my heart…but I can’t handle this. I’m not strong enough.” His smile faded.
“What do you mean? What are you saying?” She gripped the bouquet of roses tightly and let a single tear slide down her cheek.
“I don’t want to let you go, but the harder I hold on the worse things get. We’re always being watched, judged-“

“-I don’t care about them! They don’t matter! Screw them! Screw them all, they don’t matter to me as much as you do.”
“I’m so so sorry Deor. Try not to forget me.” She quickly placed a small kiss in his lips and took a few steps away from him. Still facing him she slid a small, silver gun out from its hiding spot among the roses in the bouquet. She placed it to her head and pulled the trigger just as he lunged towards her. Red splattered across his face and dripped down his suit. He managed to catch her crumpled body before she hit the ground and held her petite body in his arms. Her once shimmering, green eyes had dimmed, all the spirit whisked away by a single bullet. Time slowed as he crushed her to his body and rocked them back and forth.

Chaos ensued around them as their friends and family ran in all directions, some screaming, others crying and clinging to each other and still others with a horrified look in their eyes remained frozen. Sparkling ruby droplets had sprinkled the altar and across the face of an angel statue making it seem as if it were crying bloody tears for the doomed couple. The groom’s agonized; sorrow soaked screams filled the air of the small chapel. He screamed for his lost bride to return, to not leave him, but she was now just a ghost on the altar.

~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~
Deor sat on the bed Alessia had once slept in. he looked around the room as his memories of her flashed through his mind. Everything was just as she had left it; every picture of her smiling face burned into his flesh. Every trinket he had given her that now lay sprinkled in dust stabbed into his heart and reminded him of that one day. He could almost hear her softly spoken words in his ear, could almost hear her calling to him.

“Alessia don’t torture me or beg me to go with you! You left me! Why do you send me these nightmares?! Why are you being so cruel!? I still love you Alessia, can you make me believe that you still love me?”
He lay down on the bed and stared sadly up at the ceiling. He felt a pang of guilt as he looked up at the bright stars and planets stickers that were placed so excitedly there by Alessia so many years ago. Turning his head to the right he stared into unblinking, coal black eyes that were glazed over with death.

“All the stars on your ceiling glow but not for you...”
He stroked the cold cheek of the woman who had tried to replace Alessia in his life. Her stiff, lifeless body lay in a puddle of her own blood and tears. A jagged line ran across the fragile flesh of her neck leaving an escape for her blood, while a bullet had forced its way through her skull and splattered the nearby wall red.

Deor stood and walked to stand in front of the open window. Silver moonlight washed over him and bathed the room with an eerie, magical quality as the wind swept through the trees. It ruffled his dark, black hair in an almost loving way. He closed his eyes and thought he could almost hear Alessia’s soft voice whispering his name through the trees.
“Alessia, I truly am a beast. I let you suffer alone; I let you leave this world alone. I didn’t give you the love you needed. But I gave up so much to be with you, I broke traditions and now…if there’s a god then I’m letting him go all for you.”

He slowly lifted the silver gun to his head and opened his eyes in time to see a flash of fiery red and snow white hide behind the trees at the edge of the forest. Deor smiled and pulled the trigger, eager to rush into the awaiting arms of his ghostly bride.