Surrender The Night

I woke up before Gerard. He lay snoring beside me, peaceful and calm. I toyed with his hair a little, restraining myself from touching him too much. Gerard stirred a little, causing me to snap my hand back.
"Beautiful," He mumbled. Gerard pulled me closer with one strong hand and buried his face closer to my chest. I giggled. "Keep sleeping." Gerard inhaled deeply and kissed my collar bone which I noticed was becoming his favorite spot.
"Gerard it's almost time to get back to the hospital.." He flapped his hand around and pushed closer.
"I just want to stay here with you." His pout was too much; I leaned forward and placed my lips on his.
Gerard grabbed the back of my head immediately, holding me there. He threaded his fingers through my hair and pulled me over him. I shuffled a bit and straddled him under the warm sheets. Gerard ran his hands carefully down my back, grasping loosely at the skin on my hips. I shuddered and moved against him experimentally. Gerard groaned quietly and sucked on my tongue.
"We gotta go." I protested. Gerard moved to kiss my neck and grinded against me, snickering at me when I let out a quiet moan. "Seriously, Gerard." Gerard rolled his eyes and stopped, resting his hands lightly on my sides.
"Fine." He leaned up to kiss me sweetly and lifted me off him gently before sitting up and started putting on clothes. Once he was completely dressed, he pulled me up and started pulling my clothes onto me, like I was a little kid. He giggled and kissed me on the nose, before pulling me close by the waist and kissing me again passionately. I tore apart from him almost painfully, grasping his hand tightly in my own.
"Let's go." Gerard bit his lip and nodded. On our way out, Gerard gave his small apartment one last mournful glance with a look of something I didn't understand. He sighed and turned to me, smiling weakly.
In the car, we held hands once more. The Smiths were playing quietly and Gerard looked distant.
"I love you."
I didn't mean for it to slip, I really didn't.
Gerard looked at me, snapping out of reality, and gripped the steering wheel. I stared back and Gerard pulled off to the side of the road. He buried his head in his hands for a moment before smacking the wheel violently with his fist, causing the horn to honk loudly. Throwing his seatbelt off quickly, he slammed the door and walked a few feet away from the car.
I got out of the car quietly and walked closer to Gerard. He was hitting his head with the heel of his hand, kicking up dust and was having what looked like a panic attack. Finally, he dropped to the ground and put his head between his legs, sobbing loudly. I ran over to him and dropped to my knees.
"Gerard?" I pushed the hair out of his eyes and pulled him into my lap a little. "Gee? Gerard what's wrong?" Gerard cried louder and clung to my neck tightly. I rocked him back and forth, petting his hair.
"Y-you promised me y-you wouldn't f-fall in love w-with m-me." He choked out. I pet his hair a little and kissed his head.
"I can't help it." Gerard cried out again and scrambled all the way into my lap like I was going to float away.
"I love you t-too... M-more than anything.." He whispered.
"What's the problem, then?" Gerard shook his head and got up, dragging me with him.
"Let's just get back to the hospital, okay?" I nodded and Gerard walked back to the car with me.
His hand never left mine.

As we drove are fingers remained woven together. Gerard seemed as though he was in deep thought. I looked out the window and let my skin soak up the sun I had missed so much. Gerard squeezed my hand and smiled at me, a few tear stains left tracks down his face still. I smiled back and scooted closer to him, taking off my seat-belt altogether; I laid my head on Gerard's lap and held his hand close to my heart.
The silent hum of the engine lulled me to a soft snooze as Gerard drove through the streets back to our prison. I looked up at him through heavy eyes and saw he was crying again, silently this time.
I squeezed his hand to let him know I was there, but this time I let him deal with it.

It didn't take long for us to get back, when we did Gerard leaned down to kiss me one last time before walking back into the dreary hospital. We held hands all the way in, even when the receptionist gave us strange glances, I gave her my best smile and hung closer to Gerard. Joan saw us walking down the white hallways and smiled politely.
"Oh good, you're back." She looked at Gerard and sighed. "Gerard, I'm afraid I need to speak to you." Joan tapped on the folder in her hands and Gerard let out a soft 'oh'. He nodded and pulled me back to our room
"Frank.. Frank I gotta tell you something." I wrapped my arms tenderly around his waist and laid my head on his chest.
"Go ahead." Gerard took a deep breath and pulled me closer, resting his head on mine.
"Frankie, I have cancer." His voice broke at the ending word; so did my hopeless heart.