Surrender The Night

Gerard was gripping my hand when I opened my eyes for the second time that day. His other hand was up to his mouth; he was biting his thumb nail anxiously. I squeezed his fingers feebly and he leaned forward.

"Hey," he whispered. "You're okay, I got you." Gerard brought my hand up to his mouth and kissed it softly. I scooted to the side a bit and motioned him to climb next to me.

"C'mere." I made grabby hands at him and he slid in beside me. "What happened?" I whispered. All I remembered was Gerard leaving to talk to Dr. Andersen. Everything after that was a blur. Gerard wrapped his arms around me careful to not bump my IV.

"You had a flashback, and freaked out." I crushed my eyes out and buried my head into Gerard's chest. Gerard stroked my hair and kissed my forehead. "You don't remember?" I shook my head violently and looked up at him.

"I thought I was getting better, Gerard." I croaked. "Why aren't I getting any better?"

"Shhh, sweetie, it's alright." A few tears slid past my eyes as Gerard held me tightly, "You're gonna get better, I promise." I whimpered a little and clutched at his sides. "Frankie?" I didn't answer. "Baby..?"

'The ground collided with my face and I felt my pants being torn down. I cried out as one of them clutched my cock violently, laughing when I cried out.
"What's the matter baby, don't like that?"'

"..Frank?" I was sucked back into reality by Gerard's voice.

"Don't call me baby.." I cried out. Gerard grabbed my face and looked into my eyes, a fresh set of tears fell.

"I'm sorry, I'll never do it again, okay?" Gerard kissed my cheek and jaw, wiping the tears away with every peck. I nodded and placed my hand over his heart. The beat was steady and warm, so unlike my own. He placed his hand over mine and kept me there. "Frankie, I gotta surprise for you," Gerard said after moments of silence. "I talked to Dr. Andersen and they're gonna let us go home for a night."

I looked up at Gerard with surprise. I've been in the place for so long, never seeing anything but the courtyard and my own room.

"Really?" Gerard kissed me tenderly and squeezed my side.

"Really. I'm gonna take you to dinner.." He blushed and looked down, bashful for once. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his nose.

"Thank you." I smiled at him and he nodded. "What if I'm too weak?" He frowned at me and shook his head.

"I'll take care of you." He looked me in the eyes as he kissed my knuckles. I believed him.

We spent the day in bed, exchanging kisses and touches, always quiet. It was still early when I first woke up, and wasn't time to leave yet.

When five finally rolled around, Gerard helped me out of the bed and into my normal clothes, averting his eyes when I took them off which I was grateful for. Nurse Joan lined up my meds, giving me my bottle of water and a kiss on the cheek.

"Now Gerard, you're to have both of you back tomorrow morning at ten am sharp, you hear me?" Gerard chuckled and nodded.

"Of course." She sighed and looked at the both of us, casting a sad gaze on Gerard.

"You kids have fun." She smiled one last time, as we turned around and slowly made our way to the exit doors.

Gerard had to half carry me, seeing as how we couldn't take the wheelchair. I leaned on him as we got to a beat up Subaru.

"You have a car?" I raised my eyebrow at him and he shrugged.

"Well yeah." He laughed and helped me into the passenger side before making his way to the driver door.

When he got in, he looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, Gerard extended his hand to me and I grasped it in my own. I held his hand closely on my thigh.

"This is normal," I said. Soft sounds of Danzig were flitting through Gerard's crappy radio as we drove through the dreary streets of Belleville. I looked at him. "It's nice." He smiled back at me and turned the radio up, still holding my hand tightly.

Gerard pulled into a small restaurant, a few cars were parked here and there. It looked nice, but not fancy, and not cheap. It was perfect. He let go of my hand and walked over to my door, which he opened for me and helped me out of.

Slinging an arm around my waist, he led me to the doors of the diner. He leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"I hope this place is okay."

"Of course. It's perfect." he smiled and led us inside. The waiter looked pointedly at Gerard's arm around my waist and wer ignored it. He led us to a quiet table in the back. The dimly lit room was almost romantic. It was a small booth, thankfully, so I curled up on Gerard's side.

Gerard ordered two cokes and gave me a menu.

"I'm a vegetarian.." I said. Gerard smiled at me and flipped to the back page, pointing to the vegetarian dishes. "Thank you."

We talked for a few minutes, about normal things. Nothing about the hospital was said, only about stargazing and where we should go after eating. Gerard's hand was on my thigh and every time he moved it a little, I glanced at him. He didn't seem to notice.

Our meal got there shortly after, a salad and soup for me, and chicken Alfredo for Gerard. The server gave us one more disgusted look before turning away, Gerard flipped him off or good measure.

"So how'd you get them to let us leave?" I queried. Gerard cleared his throat and looked down.

"I have uh.. special advantages at the hospital." And that was all he said on the matter. I didn't want to question it further, anyway.

We laughed and ate and kissed the whole way through dinner. Nothing lasted five minutes before Gerard was leaning over and kissing me quickly, then going back to talking like nothing happened. Every time he kissed me it took five minutes to come down from that high.

We finished our meals, taking our time. Dessert was denied for the both of us, Gerard comically placed his hands over his stomach like he was fat. I laughed at him and he pulled me closer. Our bill was long ago paid, but we still sat there, sipping our coffee and snuggling in the quiet booth. This earned nasty glances from our waiter. A few minutes later, he even approached us.

"Excuse me, but it's time for you to leave." Gerard scoffed at him and pulled me up.

"Fine."

We didn't leave a tip.

Gerard and I walked back to his car, still tangled up in each other.

"Where do you want to go?" He looked at me and asked. I looked out the window and up at the stars.

"A park." I stated simply. Gerard asked no questions, he just grabbed my hand once more and began to drive.

It only took around ten minutes to find a park. Gerard pulled in and helped me out of the car again. The crunch of gravel under my feet calmed me as we walked to the swings.

"I haven't been to the park since I was a kid," I whispered. "I stopped going to long ago and I wish I wouldn't have." Gerard squeezed my hand and we sat on the swings, barely swinging.

"I never went to parks.. I was in my basement constantly, drawing or something."

"Can I see your art?" Gerard blushed.

"When we get back to my house, sure. I've drawn you loads of times. They're all under my mattress back at the hospital." He blushed again and looked at his feet.

I got up suddenly, swaying a little. Gerard got up too, holding my hips to steady me.

"Lets go watch the stars." I said, Gerard smiled and leaned down to kiss me briefly.

We walked over to the big field, the grass was slighly damp and we didn't care.

Laying down side by side, we held hands and star gazed.

"This is beautiful," I breathed out, Gerard laughed beside me and I turned to him.

"You're calling this beautiful? Have you ever looked in the mirror, Frank?" I bit my lip.

"Not for three years." Gerard frowned and pulled me over him.

"Well, I guess I'll just have to tell you then. You're beautiful, Frankie. More beautiful than these stars, this sky, or anything else in this world. Your smile can light up a room. I'm not kidding. And every time I see your eyes I can't help but thank God for creating you. You're a piece of art. Nobody could ever put you down on paper because they couldn't capture your heart. Every thing you do and say makes me fall for you just that little bit more. If every day when I woke up, you were lying beside me, I would be happy again. Frank, you're beautiful, inside and out. The most beautiful thing in my world." The tears had started falling from the first sentence. They fell onto Gerard's face as he held me closer to his chest. He leaned up and kissed me. His tongue pressed against my lower lip and I allowed it access, sucking on it lightly.

He pulled apart from me and stroked my face.

"Don't cry, Frankie." I sniffed and leaned down to hug him closer.

"Thank you, Gerard." I sobbed, kissed his neck.

Gerard stroked my back and my head, hushing me and telling me I was gorgeous.

'I love you' I thought, but kept my mouth shut when I remembered the promise.

"Let's go to my house." He suggested. Gerard pulled me up and scooped me into his arms bridal style. I giggled and clung to his neck. We got to the car and I scooted to the middle seat. Curling up on his side, Gerard began to drive as I began to fall asleep.

Gerard woke me up shortly after, scooping me into his arms once more. I snuggled down close to him as he struggled to get his door open. I guess that this was his apartment. It looked messy and like nobody had been living here for a while which was obvious. Paints and canvases littered the floor of his living room. Gerard set me on his couch and turned on a few lights.

"I know it's messy and not much, but here it is." He grinned and held his arms out, showing me his living room in all its glory.

"Can I see your room?" Gerard nodded and picked me up, carrying me down a short hallway to his room.

His room was much like the living room, full of art supplies and comics. there was a big bed to the corner of this room. Everything was quite simple, unlike the living room which was filled with bright paintings.

Gerard sat me on his bed and walked over to a sketch pad, bringing it over and sitting next to me. He flipped through the pages, occasionally showing me one he liked. I looked at all of them in awe, they were dark and mysterious. Sort of like Gerard.

"These are all amazing, Gee." Gerard turned to me and blushed.

"Thanks.."

I kissed his shoulder and then he neck, he places his hands on my waist, splaying his fingers under my shirt. I moved back and pulled him onto me, he leaned down to kiss me as I ran my fingers through his hair. Gerard and I's tongues danced with eachother, occasionally making wet noises in the quiet room.

We kissed for a long time, at first frantically, then moving to an almost dirty and slow pace. I tugged at Gerard's shirt and he shrugged it off quickly.

I looked at his bare torso for the first time and ran my hands up it, marveling at the smooth hairless skin. He blushed above me and toyed with the hem of my shirt. I nodded at him and he slowly began to peel it off.

I closed my eyes as I felt cool air hit my naked skin, Gerard gasped above me when it was completely off. Gerard's hands were all over my chest at once, he ran his fingers across the smooth scars on my stomach and I took a deep breathe. He leaned down and kissed them all. I counted seventy four kisses.

Finally, I opened my eyes, looking down at Gerard. He was still looking at my chest, running his hands over everything, occasionally leaning down to kiss my hips. We locked eyes and he moved up to kiss my lips again. I pulled him down with my arms around his neck and we were finally skin to skin. He moaned a little at the contact and I could feel his hard on against my thigh. I moved experimentally against him and drew in a sharp breathe.

Gerard looked at me as he moved his fingers to the buttons of my pants, to which I nodded once.

"Are you sure?" I nodded again and kissed him. He undid my button and zipper. Slowly, he pulled my pants off, bringing my thin boxers with them too. Gerard sat up and ran his hands up my thighs, looking me in the eyes the whole time.

This was new for me, the whole being naked with someone when sober. I was painfully hard and didn't have a clue what to do. Gerard began to drag the zipper of his own pants down, before pulling them completely off.

He wasn't wearing underwear.

Gerard blushed a little and I giggled, pulling him down once again.

"So gorgeous, Frankie." He breathed in my ear. I kissed his neck again and moved my hips up to meet his. I moaned this time, spreading my legs a little. Gerard looked at me and kissed me.

"Do you want to..?" I thought a moment and nodded.

"We can try.. I don't know if I can handle-" Gerard stopped me with a kiss.

"I know, you can.. you can top.. if you want?"

"Really? I mean.. I've never done it before.." Gerard kissed my collar bone and nodded.

"I just want you, right now. Forever." I nodded again and moved to straddle him.

"Stuff?"

He pointed to the drawer beside me and I searched for lube and a condom. I found them shortly and layed them on Gerard's stomach. He spread his legs and I shuffled in between them, glancing at Gerard. He was smiling at me and I reached out to stroke his erection slowly.

"Fuck." He bit out, crushing his eyes closed. I kissed his knees and squirted some lube on my fingers.

Looking at him one last time, I inserted the first finger. Gerard hissed a little and calmed after a second. He smiled at me and I slid in the second finger. Thrusting them out a bit each time, I began to scissor them lightly. Gerard bit his lip and moaned a little, signalling to me I had found his prostate. He started to thrust up into my fingers a little, and I added the final, third digit. Gerard cried out a little as I moved them in and out painfully slow. My cock was begging for attention and I could tell Gerard's was too.

"I'm ready." Gerard moaned out. I nodded quickly and slid my fingers out, which Gerard whimpered to. I wiped them on the sheet beside me and slowly rolled the condom down. Squirting some more lube on my fingers, I slicked myself up, trying not to touch myself too much. Gerard was idly stroking his length, looking at me with him mouth open.

"Are you ready?" I leaned down to kiss him and he nodded.

I hung my head as I began to push in slow, Gerard flexed tight around me and I let out a loud moan. Gerard scraped his hands on my back, pushing me closer and deeper. It didn't take long before I was completely buried, Gerard shifted under me and gasped out a quiet moan. Gerard wrapped his legs around my waist and pulled me even closer. I began to drag out and push back in slowly, Gerard's breathes matched mine as we inhaled and exhaled euphoria as one.

My body completely covered Gerard's as I moved slowly in and out of him. The pace was sluggish and beautiful. We exchanged kisses continually and muffled our moans into one anther's mouths. It was not fast, frantic, or plain fucking. It was sex, it was art, and as cliche as it sounds, it was making love.

I jacked him off slowly, I could tell he was close, and so was I.

It felt like it lasted for hours, as I moved steadily in and out of him and he whispered things into my ears, I could get lost in it forever.

Then, we locked eyes. I leaned down to kiss him one more before we came with silent cries.

We lay there for a moment, our muscles ached and our eyes droopy. I slid out of him and wiped us off with my boxers before moving over to him and wrapping myself around him.

Gerard kissed me passionately than ever before and pulled me tight.

"I love you.." I whispered, but he was already asleep.