Stay Gold

I haggled with Darry over the thought about me going to school, who soon realized that it would be a bad idea for me. If I got in trouble in school, or out in public even once, my cover would be blown and I would get shipped back to Texas, only to meet with the devil himself. I didn’t get off that easily, though; Darry came up with another punishment: Grounded for a week. That meant I couldn’t leave the house whatsoever. The only time I’d be allowed to leave was if I was goin’ to work with Soda and Steve. The other part of the time, I was held prisoner it felt like. Oh, not being able to leave the house, big deal. No, Darry made it a lot worse than just not being able to leave. He woke me up at the crack of dawn, took away my books, and took away my cigarettes. What I felt was worse, was that everyone was starting to hear about Ponyboy and I’s spar. Most of the gang refused to talk to me. Which meant, no one bumming smokes to me when they came over. This was punishment, alright. And boy, was I suffering. I was sure I was gonna die from sheer boredom by the end of the week.

Day in and day out, Ponyboy had barely uttered a word to me. He was still mad at me for smackin’ him. He even refused to sleep in the same room as me, so he had been sleepin’ on the couch this whole time. The only people that were still speaking to me were Soda and Darry. I felt alone, I never wanted Ponyboy mad at me. Apart from him being mad at me, little Johnny was, too. “This punishment couldn’t get any worse,” I thought.

It was day five of my punishment, and Ponyboy still hadn’t said a word to me. I wasn’t gonna lie; It worried me like all hell. I didn’t feel right being here while he was like this. In fact, I contemplated running away to somewhere else again. But then it hit me -- I have feelings now, I would miss everyone too much if I left. I knew I couldn’t stay here forever, though. This was only supposed to be temporary. I didn’t even think I should have been here the few short months I was. But, I had nowhere else to go. No money to move anywhere. No money to pay rent. If I wanted out, I’d have to sell my body on the streets to black-tied, dirty old men. I was better than that, I thought. I am better than that. I knew I was better than that. Hell, if I knew I was better than a whore, why was I thinking about running off and becoming one? My mind was clustered, so I went outside on the front porch. I watched everyone that was walking by. Greaser, soc, greaser, soc. A brawl here and there. Greaser trying to pick up a soc girl, a soc girl slapping a greaser. That seemed the way to go on the East side. We were dirt. We might have been lower than dirt, to be honest. But what did I know? I was the outsider, the nobody. I knew nothing about this place or anyone in it.

I stood out on the porch for about twenty minutes, until Ponyboy, Johnny and Two-Bit came strollin’ up the street.

“Don’t look now, boys,” Two-Bit announced, “it’s an elder, better hold your tongue.” There he goes, having to make jokes about everything. “How ya doin’, Elaine? How’s prison?”

I was quite surprised that Two-Bit was talking to me. Then again, he was quite the sweetheart underneath all his jokes.

“Funny,” I sighed. “You got jokes. I’m fine.”

Two-Bit pulled out a cigarette from his pack, tossing it to me. “You looked like you needed one,” He smiled.


I melted inside. My first cancer stick in nearly a week! That was the longest I’ve gone without one since coming to Tulsa. I treasured this risk to my health like it was something holy or gold. I motioned for Two-Bit to toss me his lighter as well. I lit that bad boy up, taking the longest drag of my life. Smoking never felt so good, each drag was like pleasure to me. Ponyboy and Johnny walked past me to get into the house. Two-Bit stayed outside with me, smoking as well.

“So...what happened with you and Dally?” Two-Bit asked, cocking an eyebrow. Great, how’d he find out? Someone around here had a big mouth, I couldn’t quite put my finger on who yet.

“I have no clue what you’re talkin’ ‘bout, Two-Bit,” I said, taking another long drag off of my smoke.

“Don’t give me that shit, I’ve heard from plenty o’ people that you and Dal had a little more than fun the other night. Spit it out, woman.”

At this point, I wanted to off myself. I hated confrontations, especially over topics like this. I clinched my fists tightly, holding myself back from punching something, or somebody.

“Rough, passionate sex happened, okay? Yes, Dally and I slept together, fuckin’ A! It’s over now, I’d like to erase it from my mind, thank you very much.” My shaking returned, the dirty feeling I had felt waking up next to Dally returned as well.

Two-Bit just stared at me, just like I felt Johnny and Ponyboy doing, who I knew damn well were listening by the door.

“I’m sorry Elaine, I didn’t mean to offend ya. No one told me what happened. I asked Dal what happened and he just said to put two and two together. And that led me to you.”

I shook my head, I was angry at myself. I got myself into this mess and there was no way of getting out of it. This was all my doing, no one else’s, not even Dallas Winston’s. I stared at the concrete porch, refusing to make a sound or eye contact with anyone around me.

“Don’t feel bad,” I heard Ponyboy call out from behind -- the first thing he’s said to me all week. “Dally was a jerk and took advantage of you. I’m sorry for hollerin’ at you, I was just pissed at the fact that I let something happen to you when I said everything would be fine.”

“And I’m sorry for smacking you, kid.”

Ponyboy pulled me into a hug, it had been a while since I last felt one of those. I finally had my best friend back, my brother. I can’t believe we let something so silly get to us. To save another argument, it was both our wrongdoing, that way the blame was equal.

“Sorry to cut this reunion short,” Two-Bit interrupted, “but ol’ Dally was lookin’ for ya, Elaine.”

Gee, what did he want now, to knock me up or something? I’ve had enough excitement and being angry for one week. I didn’t want no more. I just wanted my last couple of days of house arrest to be peaceful, not have Dally ruin it. As much as I liked being a jerk to Dally, I also hated it. He’s been (almost) nothing but nice to me lately, I just lash back with a “You’re white trash,” or some sort of threat that I probably would never follow through with, to him at least.

“You want me to keep him away from the house till you’re not grounded?” Ponyboy asked.

I shook my head, “Let the little asshole come by if he wants. I’ll take care of him.” I meant it, too. I’d shoo him away, or something. Truthfully, I was actually half-interested on why he was lookin’ for me. He knew where I lived, why didn’t he just show up on his own? As I got to thinking, I thought maybe he wasn’t comin’ around because last week I told ‘em I’d risk everything in this world and in my life, just to take him out of it. That was harsh, but the way I was feelin’ last week, I meant it.

From last week until now, those feelings have strongly changed.