On The Edge

Red hair fell above his eyes, as he leaned down, trying to open the door to the flat. Regardless of the many years he had lived in this place, he would never be able to remember one single situation in which he didn't have trouble opening it. After several jiggles and shaking of the key, the lock clicked and the man finally stepped onto the carpeted floor, a relieved sigh rolling from his lips.

Ed used the door for support as he reminisced about the last happenings that occurred in here before he left for tour. A wide, cheeky grin replaced his pout. Blue-gray eyes swept over the hallway leading to the living room. The orbs paused at one corner, and memories of skin against skin, hearts beating fast and breathless moans, overwhelmed him. 

Though the tour was brilliant and extreme fun, it drained a lot of his energy and he was just glad to be back at home, arms wide open for his one and only. 

The first sound that greeted him was the sucking of the vacuum. He chuckled, guessing that even though he didn't inform Leigh when his return was, she still managed to figure it out and wish for the place to be blindingly spotless. That woman was neat at heart, but she could never be bothered with tidying up a little mess. So coming in with the greeting of her rarely used vacuum was entertaining in a way. 

He took a detour towards the bedroom they shared, dumping his belongings on the floor. All he wanted to do was strip out of his clothes, slip on his favorite comfy attire and roll into bed, the large duvet wrapped around him. Or he could just ditch that idea and simply jump into bed and sleep until the next day for he just needed rest. Badly. 

But the thought of a decent sleep wasn't good enough to get his mind off Leigh. She had probably been slaving away all day, preparing for his return and here he was wanting to shut away from the world for a while. The ginger musician grunted as he pushed himself off the bed. 

A strap of something prevented him from moving. He quickly sat up suddenly aware of everything around him. Blue eyes averted from the door to his hand. It was one of Leigh's bras - under normal circumstances he would've chuckled cheekily, a suggestive glint in his orbs - and he frowned. It wasn't like her to haphazardly throw her underwear or any other type of clothing anywhere in the room.

Ed immediately stood from the bed. On the mattress just beside where he was previously laying down, was one of her small duffel bags and on the floor was her favorite red suitcase, unzipped and wide open with several shirts tucked neatly in. 

The wheels in his mind began whirring; an occurrence that rarely happened when pertaining to his beautiful girl. They turned slowly though as his orbs swallowed in the state of the entire room, he thought that the mechanics of his brain would simply emit a spark and be too twisted to even work again. 

Ed bent down to pick up one of her shirts and pulled it to his nose, lingering in the soft scent. He hadn't touched her in so long and the strange aura of all this simply resulted with a pounding headache. He made up his mind, put back the top and ran to where his girlfriend awaited.

His heart almost dropped to the core of the earth when he saw the sight of her. She was wearing a plain pair of shorts, bare feet with the vacuum in one hand. Around her torso loosely hung a thin pullover, revealing a bit of her shoulders. It was his favorite piece of clothing for her to wear - he had bought it for her at an op shop when she accidentally spilled coffee on herself - and she began to wear it, wanting to amuse her boyfriend. It made him both skeptical and happy that she used it. The tune streaming from her lips worried Ed; it was a song she only listened to whenever she was at an all time low. 

"So glad things haven't changed," he said quiet loudly. And worst of all, Leigh's eyes were glossy with water, tears running seamlessly down her cheeks. His girlfriend was crying. "Leigh?"

"E-Ed," she sobbed, sinking her teeth onto her lower lip as so the noises would stop. She raised both hands and wiped away the extra tears - forcing a smile against the crevasse of sadness she was going through. The young man stared on, horrified, as she tried to cover up the sobs. He took a step forward. 

Leigh carelessly dropped the vacuum hose, taking long strides towards her boyfriend and slid her arms across his shoulders, locking his head tightly against hers. She rested her temple at the crook of his neck. Ed felt the warm tears running down once more. They both sighed gingerly; the man because he's missed this girl for so long and the young woman because it might've been the last time she would've been able to embrace him like that.

At this thought, she sobbed and with a click, a gush of a river spilled through her eyes, seeming like a waterfall placed on her face. "Babe, what is it?" he whispered. "What's wrong love?" The way he said love only made it more difficult. "Tell me."

He attempted to grab her forearms and pull away but she wouldn't budge. Her arms remained locked securely around him as if when she let go, she would never be able to bury her head into his shoulder again. "Leigh?" At this point his concern morphed into fear; fear of what this all meant. "W-Why," his voice cracked wondering how this even fit appropriately with their conversation, "why is your suitcase out?" 

The woman in his arms paused. The only things he could hear was both their breathing, his heartbeat pumping faster than normal and the whirring of his thoughts as his mind concocted questions and theories. His head pounded, the headache getting worse. She slowly slid out of his grasp. 

His blue-gray irises searched for answers within hers. Her cerulean orbs were busy with an emotional storm brewing in them. Ed lifted a hand so he could cradle her jaw, tilting her head allowing him to directly stare at her. Her palm came up to rest against the back of his hand, the tears calming down.  His touch soothing yet painful.

"Did you...did you go on a holiday?" he asked, hoped. The sad girl in front of him only shook her head. He knew interrogating her wouldn't lead to anything but since she didn't have the ability to converse, it was the next best thing. "Sleepover?"

Leigh's eyes pierced into his. He watched silently as she gulped, seeing her throat bob. "I-I'm packing." He sent her a weak confused smile, faith still not leaving the depths of his erratically beating heart. "I'm leaving," she mumbled, "I'm leaving you."

He lightly chuckled, the laugh shaky and fake. Ed pretended to believe that this was all some sick joke, one of his mates thought of and persuaded her to be I included in. Leigh was a cheeky girl like that. But of course, he only wanted to believe this; he didn't want for anything to fall apart. 

"I'm not pranking you, Ed. I'm serious. I love you and all..." This is when the back of his throat began to burn with the sensation of inner pain, his vision blurred, more fresh tears begging to be spilled out. "I love you so fucking much and that's why it hurts."

He dropped the hand on her cheek. When Leigh swore, he knew that this needed to be treated seriously as profanities weren't one of her favorite words to say. He didn't understand what she meant to say. 

After a moment of silence, she continued. "Do you know how much it hurts to love someone rarely there? It's as if I was in love with a ghost." 

"What? I'm-I'm right here, love. The tour-"

"-and maybe I am in love with a ghost. Maybe I'm sitting at home, on our bed, waiting for Ed to come back when really, the person who steps through that door is just a ghost of who he was." 

He paused allowing the words to sink in. Tears streamed down, as he took offense for being called a ghost. "Leigh I don't understand. We already talked about this. You know I go on tours and such. You know I can be extremely busy but you bloody well know that I'd come back to you."

"That's not the problem," she hissed. "I missed you during that tour and I still do. I'm missing you right now. Because I know that once you're back here, you'll be off spending the day writing music, or out with friends for a drink or to some celebrity gig."

He groaned. "I don't even go out that fucking much."

"And when you're at home we rarely spend time together. You'll be on your computer watching videos, or your nose in your lyric book or hands on a guitar. While I'm off on my own, at the uni, cooking or cleaning or reading a damn book cause you won't pay attention to me."

Ed pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do you know how stupid you sound right now?" 

"Are fucking laughing at me?" she snapped, taking a step forward. His eyes widened at the use of profanity again. "Don't laugh at me, you asshole. I fucking miss Ed okay!?" she screamed. "I just want a day when none of us are too busy doing our own stuff. When we could just stay in all day, watch movies and pig out on lollies. I miss that. But you're too fucking busy with your job aren't ya?"

The man sighed heavily before grabbing at his messy red strands. He shut his eyes to attempt at calming himself down. "You know I love my job, you know I love music and playing the guitar. And this? I provide for us and I'm working to have a good life." He took a deep breath. "I love you and I missed you too."

"Oh, you love me, huh? Well you sure do have a funny way of showing it." She began to walk around the infuriating man that she used to call her partner. However, he prevented her from escaping by clutching onto her wrist. 

"Don't do this, Leigh." His tone was demanding but the pleading and desperation in his face gave it away. He couldn't do this without her, he couldn't. 

She snatched her arm back. "I can't fucking stand you anymore."