Fighting With the Wind
Welcome To Paradise
To this day, I hate explaining my childhood. I blocked a lot out from the beginnings of kindergarten to seventh grade. Long time, I know. it's a mental block, I did it on purpose. My family was going through a really tough time. My father was an alcoholic, my mother was verbally abusive and they were going through a divorce. All they did was fight, fight, fight. And who wants to remember that? Not me. I don't remember a lot, sometimes it comes to me, but most of the time it doesn't. It's mostly the feelings I've blocked out during that time, but in order to do that, I have to get rid of the physical scenarios also. It came naturally to me doing that, mentally blocking things out, and I believe it's a life savor for me. To an extent.
But I'm in high school now, I used cigarettes, marijuana, and alcohol to help with the blocking out, because I started getting flashbacks; and those are horrific to go through.
One flashback that haunts me to this day, are these two girls. Their names are Kelly and Kayla. We were on okay terms, until I don't even know what happened. We got into a fight or something, and just like that they turned on me. They said a lot of nasty things to me. Like you're ugly, or pimple face. Yes, I was in the sixth grade and I was battling with acne already; I started battling with it as early as third grade. Gabbie and I both developed at an early age, I'm not too sure why either; and it's weird to think that, because Gabbie and I both stopped growing in the womb, and we were born technically two months early.
Now these girls even mocked me saying 'at least my father's there for me'. My father wasn't around a lot. He was either working, drinking or god knows where. It was heart wrenching. Ugh. I hate talking about, and it's so early in the story, too! It's going to happen eventually.
And even though this happened years ago, it still affects me today. That's why you shouldn't bully. The person you're bullying will remember you and what you did to them for the rest of their lives, and you won't even remember their name. Scary, huh? Welcome to reality.
But I'm in high school now, I used cigarettes, marijuana, and alcohol to help with the blocking out, because I started getting flashbacks; and those are horrific to go through.
One flashback that haunts me to this day, are these two girls. Their names are Kelly and Kayla. We were on okay terms, until I don't even know what happened. We got into a fight or something, and just like that they turned on me. They said a lot of nasty things to me. Like you're ugly, or pimple face. Yes, I was in the sixth grade and I was battling with acne already; I started battling with it as early as third grade. Gabbie and I both developed at an early age, I'm not too sure why either; and it's weird to think that, because Gabbie and I both stopped growing in the womb, and we were born technically two months early.
Now these girls even mocked me saying 'at least my father's there for me'. My father wasn't around a lot. He was either working, drinking or god knows where. It was heart wrenching. Ugh. I hate talking about, and it's so early in the story, too! It's going to happen eventually.
And even though this happened years ago, it still affects me today. That's why you shouldn't bully. The person you're bullying will remember you and what you did to them for the rest of their lives, and you won't even remember their name. Scary, huh? Welcome to reality.