The Only Exception

I tried to kill myself a week later without seeing any of them, but Jacky came over to bring me my house keys. He took care of me and made sure I couldn't have anything sharp. He took me to the hospital and donated blood to me, which I found strangely sweet.

Anyway, he's been sleeping in and I'm bored, so he needs to wake up, like, soon. "Jacky?" I shook him gently. "Jacky, wake up." He groaned and pulled my blankets closer. "Your phone is ringing."

"I don't care." I bit my lip and frowned as he rolled over, pulling me closer into his chest.

"No, I-I wanna hold you. Jacky, turn back around."

"No."

"I don't feel safe, please-"

"Nothing can hurt you, Kat. I'm not gonna let go of you."

"I can hurt myself." He took my arms and put them around his neck before pulling me closer. "I'm mad at you."

"For what?"

"Sleeping with me and not being with me."

"I cheated on my girlfriend. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"I want you to break up with her, Jacky, you don't deserve that."

"I can't."

"Why not?" He didn't answer me right away, so I looked at his face. His eyes opened and he took a deep breath, letting it out through his nose. I could tell it was bad news to me, but good to them. They already got the rings and have started planning, yeah that has to be it. "Jacky?"

"Um, . . . we already got the rings." I nodded and gave him a fake smile. "A-And . . . sh-she's pregnant - eighteen weeks, but the doctor said she won't show for another four."

"She's pregnant." A whimper left my mouth as his eyes met mine. "I got a paternity test taken, but she doesn't know about it. We won't get the results back for a while, though. I don't think he's mine, but that doesn't matter."

"Is that why you're still with her?"

"Kat, don't do this again."

"Jacky, tell me the truth and the full truth. Why are you still with her? And don't say it's for the baby." He sighed and looked away from my face, pulling me even closer.

"I'm going on tour in the Summer. I don't want to start something I can't finish with you. I don't want to fall in love with you and then call you everyday and annoy you and you'll break up with me. We haven't known each other long, but Kat you mean a lot to me. If I fell in love with you, like I know I am, I don't want to hurt you by leaving. I'm just too busy a-and I can't take you with me."

"You're doing it so you won't hurt me?" He nodded,

"And so you won't hurt me. I know you'd do anything in the world for James. He could ask you to kill someone and you'd do it. I don't want him to pull on your leash and you go right back to him."

"He doesn't have me on a leash."

"Yes he does, it's just looser than usual. It's pathetic."

"I can't help how I feel about him."

"He's using you. He wants you to give him something Liz can't."

"Like what?"

"Love. She doesn't love him, she just wants him for his money. She and Maddie are best friends, they say up all night talking about how much money he spends on her. He's blind." He sighed and started rubbing circles on my back. "He doesn't know how to treat a woman, he's too busy messing with girls."

"Maybe you should practice like you preach."

"Maybe I shouldn't treat you like my girlfriend and my fiance like a friend." I frowned and he closed his eyes. "You don't know how much it killed me to walk away from you after we made love. I wanted to do it again and I wanted to take you to the beach and stay there all night with you. But I couldn't because of Maddie. And now I have feelings for you, a fiance, and a child that might not even be mine."

"Jacky? Jacky, look at me." He looked down in my eyes and I smiled. I placed my hand on his case and kissed his chest lightly. "I just want you to get the love you deserve, okay?" He nodded and leaned down, gently placing his lips on mine.

"I'm sorry." He said before kissing me again. "I can't help myself, your lips are just so perfect." He kissed my cheek and down my neck, across my throat and up my other cheek. He kissed my eye-lids and my nose, smiling. "Your face is perfect." He left kisses all over my body - literally, even over my panties - saying how perfect I was before getting back to my lips. "Everything about you is perfect."

"Stop being so romantic." He smiled again and rubbed his nose with mine. "I said to stop!"

"I can't help it."

"You have a fiance and a baby, Jacky, STOP!!!" I pushed at his chest when he tried to kiss me.

"We're not married and it may not be my child, Kat."

"I don't care! You said I was James' bitch on the side and that's exactly what I am to you, too! I just want to be held and loved with no other girl to worry about! I can't be with James and I can't be with you! That's why I tried to kill myself because I don't have anyone!!" I tried my best to calm myself down, but I could feel the panic attack coming on. My chest was really, really tight, my vision blurred, I couldn't breathe, and I couldn't breathe or talk.

"Kat? Kat! Fuck, what do I do? Calm down." He kissed me, but that just made it worse. "Fuck, fuck, fuck." I watched as he scrambled about my room, trying to find an asthma inhaler. He grabbed my phone and tapped the screen a couple times before holding it to his ear. "James, it's Jacky - it's not important! You need to come over - Yes it's important, I wouldn't be calling you if it weren't! Hurry up, I don't know what to do - Just come see for yourself!" He put my phone down and I frowned, closing my eyes as I became severely cold.

Like, frost-bite cold. I pulled my legs up to my chest, but it didn't work. "Kat, I'm gonna-" I screamed as Jacky touched my arm, moving away from him. "G-Get the door, I'll be right back." He ran out of the room and a few seconds later, I could hear James cursing. "What's going on?"

"She's having a panic attack." I jumped as James tried to touch me. He held his hands so I could see them and sat on the bed. "I'm not gonna hurt you, Kat." I whined as he took off his shoes and slid under the comforter set. I turned around and clung to his body, whimpering as warmth spread throughout my body. He told me to control my breathing, which I managed to do. "What hurts?"

"M-M-My ch-chest."

"How'd it happen?"

"I-I sh-shout-t-ted." I could feel it come on again.

"Calm down, calm down. I've got you." I nodded and closed my eyes, trying to control my breathing. "You're safe, Love, nothing is going to hurt you." He rolled slightly and looked at Jacky. "What's you do to her?"

"Nothing!"

"H-H k-k-k-kissed m-me." I whispered, tears staining James' shirt.

"Did he force it?" I shook my head, "I need a yes or no, Kat, his life depends on it."

"No. It wasn't forced, I just freaked out."

"Are you better?" I nodded and he kissed the top of my head. He slowly let me go and removed himself from me and my bed. "I'll be across the street if it happens again." Jacky nodded, "If you hurt her, I won't hesitate to kill you." James kissed my forehead before leaving out.

"Jacky, I'm cold."

"Are you gonna scream if I touch you?" I shook my head and he moved beside me. I wrapped my arms around his chest and told him to turn over, which he did reluctantly. I cuddled into his back and sighed. "I wanna hold you." I crawled over his body and he pulled me close into his chest.

"Thank you." I said quietly while rubbing over the band-aid on his hand.

"Anytime."

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