Status: It's a work in progress. Bear with me. It might be a slow process.
The Private Journal of Celeste Hawking: Do Not Open.
My arms get cold.
December 31st, 2015.
6:45pm
The first time I saw him, I was leaning over the railing in Battery park, gazing at the ocean, and the view of Lady Liberty, thinking about how it had felt the first day out of the hospital. Clean. New. Alive.
The wind had picked up, and my Vans hat was picked right up off of my head, and carried about 20 feet away from me, straight into the chilly Atlantic water. I ran to the other side of the park and leaned over the railing, reaching my arm out as far as possible to try and reach the SnapBack I had bought just that morning, but it was to no avail. I watched the threads become dense with water as my glorious hat sank lower and lower into the dark blue emptiness, when suddenly, a flash of tan and black zoomed past me, over the railing, and into the water, making a huge, white, foamy splash, and causing large ripples to form around the center. A soaking wet mop of black hair, and goose-bumped skin popped up, followed by a hand, which held a floppy mess of cloth and nylon: my hat. I wasn't sure how to react to the event that had just taken place, but I did know that it was freezing cold, there was a man, whom I had never seen in my life, that jumped into the New York Harbor after my hat, and that I needed to help him out. Still shocked, I rushed to help this man over the railing and onto the sidewalk. He was tall and skinny, with a lot of tattoos. He had dark hair and deep brown eyes that sparkled, despite the cold. He was wearing nothing but black skinny jeans, and you could see his green, plaid boxers riding up just over the top of his pants. His chest was bare, and so were his feet. "This- i-isss. Y-you-rssss." he said as he handed me my hat. He then walked away, wrapping his arms around himself and shivering off to the park, where I saw he had left his shoes, shirt, and jacket.
"Thank you!" I called after him. He shivered as he sat down, not 10 steps away from me, on a tree stump and slid on his socks and shoes, not even acknowledging my gratitude. I walked up to him and the wind picked up again, causing us both to face away from the breeze, and causing his cold, wet body to convulse. I wasn't sure what to do or say, so I just stood there, watching. When he was finished putting on his clothing, he stood up and faced me. I stood, rigid, only able to see his eyes. The sparks that flew from his chocolate irises into my own dull green ones were indescribable. I stammered, "Uh- uhm- th-thanks. For, uh.. For what you did back there. You... You, um, really didn't have to, um, do.. that...." I trailed off, taking my gaze to the floor.
"I wanted to. It was no problem." His bright, luxurious tone of voice made me tingle. He smiled at me and stuck out his hand, "I'm Austin, by the way. Austin Carlile." I reached for his hand and introduced myself. "Celeste Hawking." We touched, and sparks flew. I literally saw fireworks exploding over our heads (no literally, it's New Years, what else do you expect?). That's when I knew. I knew that he was it. That he was the one. What else could cause the way I was feeling?
11:59pm.
It is almost the new year. 2016. In just a few days, I'll be 22. I looked around at the bright faces gathered in the frosty New York air. Times Square was all aglow, and as the last seconds of the old year ticked away, it seemed to explode with cheers, confetti, and couples kissing, trying to start this year off as the best it could be.
It had been about 2 years since I was released from the hospital, and I had moved to New York. The city was just what I needed. The happiness that exuded from every single person was enough to make me realize what made me happy. As I heard the music get louder, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. All I could smell was life. Beautiful life. How could I have been so naive? How did I not see what the future had in store for me? I looked at the tattooed man who had jumped into the ocean to retrieve my hat, just hours before, and I thought about all that had come in the last few hours, and all that was to come in the next year.
Midnight
"3, 2, 1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" Everybody was cheering, and leaping and kissing and hugging, and crying. I looked to my left, and he was smiling at me. I felt my face start to sting, and noticed, that even through my frost-numbed cheeks, that I was smiling too. That I was happy, and I was really really smiling. He took my hand and pulled me in for a hug. Now that I felt safe against his warm chest, there was nowhere else I wanted to be anymore. No want for a new life. I had found it. Found him.
I wish it had continued to be this easy. This perfect. I wish we were a fairytale. But we weren't. Not even close.
6:45pm
The first time I saw him, I was leaning over the railing in Battery park, gazing at the ocean, and the view of Lady Liberty, thinking about how it had felt the first day out of the hospital. Clean. New. Alive.
The wind had picked up, and my Vans hat was picked right up off of my head, and carried about 20 feet away from me, straight into the chilly Atlantic water. I ran to the other side of the park and leaned over the railing, reaching my arm out as far as possible to try and reach the SnapBack I had bought just that morning, but it was to no avail. I watched the threads become dense with water as my glorious hat sank lower and lower into the dark blue emptiness, when suddenly, a flash of tan and black zoomed past me, over the railing, and into the water, making a huge, white, foamy splash, and causing large ripples to form around the center. A soaking wet mop of black hair, and goose-bumped skin popped up, followed by a hand, which held a floppy mess of cloth and nylon: my hat. I wasn't sure how to react to the event that had just taken place, but I did know that it was freezing cold, there was a man, whom I had never seen in my life, that jumped into the New York Harbor after my hat, and that I needed to help him out. Still shocked, I rushed to help this man over the railing and onto the sidewalk. He was tall and skinny, with a lot of tattoos. He had dark hair and deep brown eyes that sparkled, despite the cold. He was wearing nothing but black skinny jeans, and you could see his green, plaid boxers riding up just over the top of his pants. His chest was bare, and so were his feet. "This- i-isss. Y-you-rssss." he said as he handed me my hat. He then walked away, wrapping his arms around himself and shivering off to the park, where I saw he had left his shoes, shirt, and jacket.
"Thank you!" I called after him. He shivered as he sat down, not 10 steps away from me, on a tree stump and slid on his socks and shoes, not even acknowledging my gratitude. I walked up to him and the wind picked up again, causing us both to face away from the breeze, and causing his cold, wet body to convulse. I wasn't sure what to do or say, so I just stood there, watching. When he was finished putting on his clothing, he stood up and faced me. I stood, rigid, only able to see his eyes. The sparks that flew from his chocolate irises into my own dull green ones were indescribable. I stammered, "Uh- uhm- th-thanks. For, uh.. For what you did back there. You... You, um, really didn't have to, um, do.. that...." I trailed off, taking my gaze to the floor.
"I wanted to. It was no problem." His bright, luxurious tone of voice made me tingle. He smiled at me and stuck out his hand, "I'm Austin, by the way. Austin Carlile." I reached for his hand and introduced myself. "Celeste Hawking." We touched, and sparks flew. I literally saw fireworks exploding over our heads (no literally, it's New Years, what else do you expect?). That's when I knew. I knew that he was it. That he was the one. What else could cause the way I was feeling?
11:59pm.
It is almost the new year. 2016. In just a few days, I'll be 22. I looked around at the bright faces gathered in the frosty New York air. Times Square was all aglow, and as the last seconds of the old year ticked away, it seemed to explode with cheers, confetti, and couples kissing, trying to start this year off as the best it could be.
It had been about 2 years since I was released from the hospital, and I had moved to New York. The city was just what I needed. The happiness that exuded from every single person was enough to make me realize what made me happy. As I heard the music get louder, I closed my eyes and breathed in deeply. All I could smell was life. Beautiful life. How could I have been so naive? How did I not see what the future had in store for me? I looked at the tattooed man who had jumped into the ocean to retrieve my hat, just hours before, and I thought about all that had come in the last few hours, and all that was to come in the next year.
Midnight
"3, 2, 1.. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!" Everybody was cheering, and leaping and kissing and hugging, and crying. I looked to my left, and he was smiling at me. I felt my face start to sting, and noticed, that even through my frost-numbed cheeks, that I was smiling too. That I was happy, and I was really really smiling. He took my hand and pulled me in for a hug. Now that I felt safe against his warm chest, there was nowhere else I wanted to be anymore. No want for a new life. I had found it. Found him.
I wish it had continued to be this easy. This perfect. I wish we were a fairytale. But we weren't. Not even close.
♠ ♠ ♠
It might seem a bit jumpy but it's all coming together. Bear with me.