Dangerously Luminous

"Kyler, you don't look okay.." Said Casey as we walked back to the house with Blake following after school.

"Yeah you seemed a bit uneasy after Damian left.." Said Blake as we reached the house.

"I'm fine guys." I said trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. When we were inside, Casey walked upstairs to her room to finish her homework. Me and Blake headed to the basement. We watched T.v. For a bit before I asked Blake,

"Hey can you help me with these damn stitches?"

"Yeah, I got it. Here lay on the bed, and relax so I don't hurt you." I laid down trying to relax. It wasn't working. He began to pull out the stitches, and I winced., feeling my anxiety grow . Dammit, why now? He kept pulling them out. I started shaking almost uncontrollably. He stopped.

"Ky?..you alright there buddy?" He asked looking me in the eyes again. I shook my head.

"Everything's........... spinning.........." I managed to say somehow between the shaking and the dizziness, I couldn't tell you which was worse. Blake, knowing of my frequent panic attacks, grabbed my hand, holding it in his, gently running his thumb up and down, when that didn't work, he leaned over me, pressing his lips against mine, in another attempt to soothe me.

I heard a knock on the window, knowing far all too well who it was, and what he would see looking through, it didn't bother me as of now. After Blake managed to calm me down and pull all the stitches out, we heard voices upstairs. Casey's parents were fighting again. Oh lord. When Casey came down, I knew things were serious.

"Hey Ky, Blake, you guys gotta go, home. My parents are fighting again and I don't know if they're going to want others in the house for a day or two. I'm sorry Kyler, I know you don't want to go back because of your parents, but you have to. I'll call you when you can come back as soon as possible. I promise." She said, by the way she looked, she had clearly been crying and wasn't too happy about the subject at all.

We all formed some sort of an awkward circle and had our own group hug. I left most of my valuables at Casey's house, because I wasn't about to have them broken by my careless father. I only brought the clothes on my back and my cellphone. Me, and Blake set off to our houses, reluctant to leave each other's company, let alone Casey's comforting spirit.

"Why in the hell didja' come back?" Was the only welcome back I got from my father as he stood in the doorway of the house I once grew up in and now despised. My mother was who knows where. I honestly didn't care. I walked past my father and walked upstairs to my old bedroom. Almost everything was the same, the old band posters hanging on the walls, the desk cluttered with useless junk, and a messy bed next to an even messier dresser, the window on the wall opposite my bed was open.huh.

I didn't bother closing it. It was warm in here as it is. I locked the door behind me because I knew if I didn't one of them would try to hurt me one way or another. I laid on my bed, and listened to my parents fighting downstairs..Well there's mom.. I could hear them fighting, I pieced together what they were fighting about before too long..

"It's your fault! You're the one that let go of her!"

"No, it wasn't! You're the one that didn't have an eye on her!"

"That has NOTHING to do with the fact that you should have not let her run off like that!"

"SHE was the one that ran off. YOU were the one who said that we should give up looking for her!"

When I realized what they were talking about I began to shake again and then remembering Damian and how I probably hurt him, and Rayne whom I never had the chance to truely meet. I shook but, this time it was worse, it was uncontrollable. I couldn't breathe, I felt dizzy, and my vision began to blur, but I just laid there, knowing it would pass, soon enough, soon enough..........
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ I dreamed I was being attacked, but I couldn't defend myself no matter what I tried. I panicked.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I woke up to Damian crying silently over me, I was in his arms, being rocked slowly, back and fourth. I reached my hand up to wipe his tears away, He smiled and hugged me gently, as if I might shatter into pieces if he wasn't careful. I hugged him back. I winced, why am I in pain?

"W-what..... ha-happened?" I was still shaking slightly in his arms, when I noticed his head was bleeding.

"Your father was beating you, it looked like you were passed out, you weren't fighting back, I-i couldn't do nothing..." He didn't finish his sentence. He cried into my shoulder as I hugged him, trying my best not to cry out in pain.

"Y-you wer-weren't breathing..." He sobbed,

"I-i didn't know if-if you w-would wake up..." He hiccuped between sobs. I hugged him tighter trying my best to show him that I wasn't in pain but it hurt more than you could imagine.

"Shhh-I'm-I'm fine..." I said trying hard to show him I was okay, but everything ached.

"No, you're not. You're hurt. I couldn't stop him soon enough..." he said as tears ran down his cheeks while he gestured to some of the already- dark bruises on my arms.

"I-i'm alive, you did it. You saved me." I said holding him close to me as tears filled my eyes. I don't know how much time we spent sitting in each other's arms, crying quietly, but it felt like forever. He whimpered and whispered,

"I-i was murdered by my parents during a fight....They were both drunk...w-when I saw your dad, beating you..." I cut him off, he had tears running down his cheeks again. I hated seeing him all broken down and hurt like this.

"Shhh..Shush.. everything's gonna be alright, Damian. Damian, you gotta calm down.." I said holding him as best I could in the pain I was in. He laid his head on my shoulder, getting some blood on my shirt.

"Damian? Can we get outa here?" I asked. I didn't want to stay and risk getting beat on again or physically abused by my mother again.

He nodded and picked me up gently. We eventually reached an apartment complex. He took me inside and laid me on his bed, sitting next to me. I propped myself up on some pillows and turned towards him, wincing. I cupped his face with one of my hands.

"Damian, a-are you going to be okay?" I said gesturing to his head, which was still bleeding.

"Yeah, yeah I'll be alright..." He said, sounding rushed as though he didn't want to talk about it, looking down.

"Damian. Go get the first-aid kit, you're hurt." If he wasn't about to get it, I would.

"It's not unnecessary. I don't need it. I'll heal." I wasn't about to take that as an answer, and tried to get out of the bed. It hurt to stand.

I limped around the room, looking through drawers, until I found it, I limped back to the bed and sat down next to him, wincing again and turning to him, realizing why he had been so unimposing to me getting up.

He had passed out on the bed, I gasped when I saw the pool of blood that was beginning to form, I quickly got out the rubbing alcohol, vasaline and some bandages, and dressed the gash in his head. I made sure his breathing was regular before resting on the other half of the bed. That night I dreamed that Damian was dyiing, and I couldn't save him no matter what I tried. Nothing could help him. I didn't try hard enough and I couldn't decide weather it was on purpose or not.

I woke up that morning to Damian rocking me again, confused I asked him,

"Why are you rocking me?" I asked truly confused.

"You were calling me in your sleep.." He responded calmly. That's when I noticed something wet on my cheek, I had been crying? In my sleep?

"I had a dream last night, where you were dying and, and I couldn't save you." I said, my voice cracking, mid-sentence

"I'm fine. Its alright.." He cooed hugging me.

"I couldn't let you bleed out last night on the bed.." I said gesturing to his bandaged head.

"Hey Kyler?..." He asked

"Yeah?" I said wondering what in the world he could possibly want to know.

"I should have told you this earlier, but... I-i.. love... you." I was completely speechless, I myself was still unsure of weather I could trust him or not. Still afraid to invest anything in something that could go terribly wrong. At the time I didn't want to admit it, but little did I know I had already invested more than I could afford.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
But that was five days ago. I'm back at Casey's house now and I haven't seen Damian once since. I didn't want to admit it, but I really missed him over the days he was gone, and I wanted him back. I often remembered the one morning that I woke up to his green eyes peering over the side of the bed at me , the morning I pranked Blake.

I worried constantly that he was dead or seriously wounded somewhere, but there was a spark of hope in me that told me he was alright, just busy, busy but slightly tampered, slightly tampered but still alive, but there was still part of me that lingered on the fact that I didn't want him to come back, that he never really loved me, that everything he said was a lie.

Just thinking that hurt more than you could imagine because I was already in over my head, I've already invested way more into this than I should have, too soon. And that is something I regret...