Turbulent Manifestations

I never really liked cars.

Well, any electronic vehicle, for that matter. Those unnatural lumbering metal beasts that roar through the streets, as if they were always in a hurry to go somewhere; these things were not attractive at all to me. Besides, nature had never intended for humans to move at such high speeds.

Speeds which can lead to accidents, to death.

Because of this, I had always walked to any of my destinations if I could.

Because of this, I had inadvertently dragged myself into a conflict that I would probably be better off without.

But all of that are just the consequences of the choices I have made; it is far too late now. I’m already far too deep into this to pull out.

However, I still regret nothing because I still dislike cars.
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The beginning of a new quarter in college begins. Like usual, when I get to class, I take an isolated seat. Like usual, no one sits near me in the lecture hall.

Not that I minded.

I have always spent all my time alone, isolated. And why not? I never bothered to grow close to anybody, and nobody would try to grow close to me. I can’t say I know why, but it’s probably because of my intentional behavior. I wasn’t one for sparing any words if unnecessary, never speaking unless asked to.

I guess you could call someone like me a misanthrope.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I don’t particularly hate people; I just can’t bring myself to trust others.

So, considering all that, of course I would be surprised when someone actually approached me.

“Hey. You are …Cassandra, right?”

I turn and level my gaze at the male student calling my name, but I don’t say anything.

“I’m Jeriel. I had the same classes you had last quarter, but you seemed kind of lonely, so I thought I’d sit with you.”

Without even waiting for my response he takes a seat next to me. Not that I wanted him to, but I didn’t bother to speak up either. I have no need to waste words on him. Was he some kind of stalker?

I did remember that he was quite friendly with everyone, though, and was quite popular among some of the female students. I couldn’t be bothered to see why, but sometimes I do wish those girls would talk about something else besides Jeriel this, Jeriel that.

I was determined to ignore him, but it was easier than I thought, since he didn’t do anything bothersome besides take notes for the rest of the lecture, and I went through the day as usual with this stalker hanging around me as I went to all my classes.

Maybe I’m being a bit harsh on this guy, calling him a stalker, but I don’t particularly care, even if he happened to have the same classes as I do. It’s not very unlikely, actually, seeing as we’re all freshmen and generally we all have similar classes to take in the first place.

Somehow, though, this led to us even eating lunch together. It was a week after finding myself sitting in all of my lectures with the stalker next to me. He approached me as I had sat down to have lunch in a secluded place, a place where students rarely walk by unless in a hurry.

It had taken me a while to find this spot, so I wasn’t very happy about him deciding to disturb my peace and eat lunch with me. But, I couldn’t be bothered to talk to him at all, and I wasn’t rude enough to send him off, so he spent most of the time talking.

Talking about ordinary things, random things, even things that happened on the news recently.

“There was somebody who had been murdered over the weekend.” He says, absentmindedly biting into his sandwich that passed off as his lunch.

I ate in silence, listening to what he said since there was nothing else to do until I was done.

“It was quite a mess. Blood everywhere, the victim cut into pieces; they couldn’t even tell what kind of weapon was used other than ‘probably something sharp’. It was pretty disgusting, to be honest. I’ve never seen anything like it.”

“You sound like you’ve seen victims of murders before.” I say a little nervously. Ah. I spoke up without realizing it. He looks a little surprised to hear me talk, but he gets over that quick.

“Well, no, I haven’t; but I did stumble onto the scene by accident, while walking to college. I actually threw up when I saw it, how embarrassing.” He says, scratching the back of his head while chuckling. “Apparently I had been in shock for hours when I saw it before I could even say anything, and when I could I wasn’t able to tell the investigators anything useful.”

He walks to get to college? How unusual. I thought most students who lived off campus would take the bus or get to school by car. It’s not like it was easy to reach the college on foot; the closest residential apartments I could think of were probably at least an hour walk to the college’s entrance. Not that I tried, it’s such a waste of time.

“Are you sure you should be telling me all this?” I ask, trying to change the topic, giving him a glance. On the outside, he looks like a calm, innocent young man, certainly one who didn’t look like someone who walked into a crime scene a few days ago.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I suppose this isn’t something to be talking about over a meal, is it.” He apologizes about such a thing despite the both of us already being done with our lunches.

“No, it’s not.” I agree, just as I had finished packing up everything away. Before he can say anything else, though, I stand up and leave, leaving him behind to head to class.

He was probably going to catch up later and sit next to me again anyway, so I might as well enjoy the short time I have to myself.

As I thought, I definitely prefer being alone.
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Cassandra. A mysterious girl who was had coincidentally been in all of my classes; there was just something about her, though, that made everyone avoid her. In a college like this, where everyone had a lot of freedom to express themselves, she didn’t really look like someone who stood out at all, especially at a first glance. And yet, despite all that, she had this unapproachable aura around her, and thus she stood out the most, like an unmoving pebble in a river of people. Perhaps it was something in her eyes, the piercing gaze they carried. Eyes that have seen things that no one else has seen, eyes that have seen things no one should see.

Perhaps maybe even now they still see things unseen by the rest of us.

But at the same time, she looked a little lonely. No one would approach her; she would always silently go to and from her classes, never bothering to speak to anyone unless asked to by a professor and even that rarely happened, with which she would answer with “I don’t know.”
But I did manage to start conversations with her every once in a while now, though. It’s been a little more than two weeks since I first asked to sit next to her in class. Well, it’s not like I had been with her all the time either, though.

“So, what’s the deal between you and that Cassandra girl?”

A voice interrupts my thoughts; it’s one of my friends, Gregory.

“What are you talking about?” I reply. “Is there anything wrong about me talking with her?”

“Obviously, when no one else talks to her. She’s freaky, man. Have you seen those eyes? Even if you tried to go up to her she just stares at you with those cold eyes, as if telling you to get the hell away from her. She’s definitely bad news, man, bad news.”

“Come on, she’s not that scary.” I reply, absentmindedly spinning a pencil in my hand. “Once you get to know her she’s not all that bad.” At least, this is what I could determine so far with the few conversations I’ve had with her. She really isn’t one to talk much.

“And there you go, defending her already. You have the hots for her, don’t you?” He accused.

“The hell?” At the sudden accusation, I nearly drop the pencil I had been spinning, and in my fumbling to catch it I nearly stab myself with it. Despite my efforts I end up dropping the pencil on the floor anyway. “Where did that come from?”

“Oh come on, everyone can see it. You’ve been spending so much time the last two weeks trying to get close to the unapproachable girl that you don’t even have the time to hang out with me and the others between classes anymore.”

“Well, it is quite difficult to get close to her, so—”

“If it was so difficult, then clearly she would rather be left alone! You’re spending far too much time and effort on just one person when you have friends like us! You’re not being very convincing about not being attracted to her, you know.”

“Look, she’s just a friend, if you can even call it that. She looked a little lonely, so I thought I’ll try to befriend her, that’s all. I’ll even introduce her to everyone else later on to show that she’s not all that bad, all right?”

Gregory sighs. “All right, have it your way. But don’t say I didn’t warn you, I’m sure that girl is bad news. I can just feel it.”

“Of course. I won’t come crawling back begging for forgiveness even if it cost me my life.”

Although it was something I had said on whim, it was quite ironic that it really would nearly cost me my life, on multiple occasions. If I had heeded Gregory’s warning, perhaps I would have continued to lead a normal life.

But I didn’t really care. It was impossible for someone like me to see someone like her and not leave her alone.

So, regardless if what happens, I have no reason to regret anything.

After all, the choices I make are what makes me who I am.