Too much.

Jacks P.O.V

“Thanks a bunch, Chicago! You were an amazing audience! We love you!”, Alex shouted into the mic and smiled at the crowd. They all clapped and cheered as we went off stage. I high fived Rian and Zack and turned around to do the same with Alex.

“Alex?”, I asked, looking around. But I couldn’t spot him. What the fuck? He had been standing there only seconds ago, I swear. I looked at my other bandmates and they just shrugged, signaling me they didn’t know where our singer had disappeared.

“I’m going to go and search for him.”, I stated, running a hand through my hair.

“Alright, have fun.”, they joked and I made a silly face at them before they turned around to go to a bar.
Sighing, I headed in the direction of our bus which was standing outside the venue. I opened the door and heard a noise. It hit me like a ton of bricks and I stopped dead in my tracks.

“Alex?”, I asked and took a few hurried steps into the back area of our bus.
“Oh my god, Alex…”, I whispered.
I rushed towards him, sitting down right next to him and pulled his shaking body into my arms, holding him tight. He was cyring and whispering things inbetween each and every sob but I couldn’t understand the words. I ran my fingers through his hair, rocking him back and forth while doing so.

“Please stop crying, Lex… I hate seeing you cry.”, I said quietly and pushed him away a little so I could look into his watery eyes. He was still shaking but it had gotten a lot better. Carefully, I wiped the shiny tears away with my thumbs. Alex put both his arms around my waist, holding onto me and laid his head on my chest.

“Jack… Why am I like this?”, he asked and I mindlessly ran my fingers through his hair again.

“Like what?”, I asked.

“I mean… Why do I always disappoint everyone? Why can’t I make anyone proud? Everyone else is doing so much better than me. Why don’t you just get another singer, one, who can sing his own lyrics without always fucking it up? I’m a burden, am I Jack?”, he quitly spoke into my chest and I could tell that he was close to cry again by the way he was shaking in my arms. I couldn’t understand why he was thinking all this about himself. None of this was true at all. I shook my head.

“Listen, Alex. Nothing of that is true. Not even near true.”, I said and pulled away a little, pushing his chin up with my hand so he had to look at me. His shiny eyes were spilling tears again and I gently wiped them away.

“You don’t disappoint anyone. Not me, not Rian, not Zack. Not the fans or your family or anyone else. And we’re all proud of you, and so should you. Look what you’ve come to be. I can remember you looking like a complete idiot in highschool. But well, I wasn’t looking that good myself, was I?”, I said, smiling as I heard Alex’ chuckle and saw him shake his head.

“Look what we have. We have this band, we get to travel the world together with our best friends for a living. We meet the nicest people, we have the best fans in the entire world. And they are supporting us, Alex. They are supporting us, including you. They love you even though you make mistakes. But Alex, that’s human. We all make mistakes and it’s just fine because, y’know, that’s how life goes. You make mistakes and you learn from it. You’re not a burden, to noone. And especially not to me. For me, you’re the best that could ever happen in my life and I’m really glad we bumped into each other in highschool.”, we both chuckled and I realized Alex had relaxed and stopped shaking in my arms. I smiled at him
and tucked a piece of hair out of his face.

“Thank you, Jack. So much. Nobody ever managed to soothe me during a… well, anxiety attack. But you did. I just… Iloveyousomuch, Jack.”, he said in one breath and hid his face in my chest. I understood him nevertheless and it made my smile even brighter. Again, I tipped his chin up and smiled at him, looking into his eyes.

“Iloveyoutoo.”, I said, imitating him. He blushed and punched my arm lightly.

“You’re an idiot.”, he mumbled.

“Yes, but I’m your idiot.”, I said and he simply smiled at that and I leaned forward to kiss him gently, letting him know that I loved him with all my heart.