Darkness

its midnight. i'm completely numb. i no longer care for human interaction, in fact i go out of my way to avoid it. those who i once cared for no longer seem to have any meaning. i allow myself to feel pain to remind myself that i'm alive, thats i'm human. but i keep losing my grip on reality. nothing seems to matter anymore, yet i put on a mask and pretend for those i know i care about though i can no longer bring myself to show true sincerity to their pain, their happiness, their materialistic lives. i hardly grasp the words they speak. i go to great lengths to escape this forsaken reality, to disappear from this world for as long as i possibly can. i feel cold, heartless but once again i cannot bring myself to care. i feel the icy chills of others around me and it only makes me sink lower into the depths of this chasm that i cannot escape. this chasm seems to grow darker and colder with each passing day; i cannot find the willpower to escape. no one can hear my screams of agony, my mask is too thick for anyone to see beyond the naive glow that i always seem to show. each day it grows harder to keep this mask in place; at times, it falls away but no one sees my decay. my decay is beyond that of repairment, the light in this house has gone out and there's no one around to see it. i am alone.