Carrying the Fire

The next few weeks in Michael's apartment had inspired a semblance of purpose in all of us. With the new resources we'd been able to take from the abandoned apartments, we threw out nothing and put to use everything we could while we waited for Atlanta to be liberated, rationing all supplies as efficiently as we could manage. We even almost took to relaxing somewhat into a routine; Philip and Nick seemed to take Neema's idea of rigging a sign to heart the most, so a majority of our time was spent cutting up blankets to sew on a distress signal to the largest white sheet we stripped from one of the apartment bedrooms. I found myself falling into step with Neema, who surprisingly took over the majority of the sign's construction, alleviating the men when they realized they weren't quite up to par with a sewing machine. I helped with what I could in stitching together our raggedy sign while Nick helped trace and cut out the letters for us.

We even took to Milton's idea as well, collecting as many deep bowls and buckets we could to set up on the roof to collect what condensation the night left and would collect what we could early the next day before the sun rose and the Georgia heat dried them. It was already nearing mid-summer, so we weren't able to collect much, only barely able to fill a liter after the first week. I could all secretly feel our anxiety collectively begin heightening over what our situation would be if help didn't arrive by the time our water supply ran up. Now that we had access to the roof, it was decided that at least a pair should take turns outside to watch for any passing by helicopters or approaching military, usually consisting of Todd, Philip, Brian, Nick, and Michael who took turns, one out in the baking hot sun while another watched over the barricade in the empty hallway. I preferably relieved whoever took watch with Todd during the night when I could sit under the chilled air and considering I found it hard to sleep much these days without dreaming of a suffocating panic in a reminding flurry of blood, teeth, and torn flesh.

Philip and Michael could always be found with the radio on, almost obsessively trying to pick up the emergency broadcasts that originally lured most of us to Atlanta for hours. Even Todd had grown a little concerned about how often the pair spent listening to nothing but static for hours on end, so much that I'd even spotted Michael having to replace the batteries a few times. Back before all stations disappeared and internet signals could no longer be found, Milton had been keeping track of every bit of information he could from his BlackBerry. Yes of course, it was nothing most of us hadn't already heard or learned first-hand by now. I was assured no one had answers, so it didn't seemed to affect the rest of us as it did Milton when everything was silenced.

Michael brought out maps they'd found from one of the apartments and the rest had almost excitedly poured over ideas on locations that had meant to be refugee camps that could had survived. However, it seemed my information of streets I remembered being overrun on my last trip back from the CDC seemed to wipe out a lot of their theories. Even I tried to pitch in where I could, offering to help Neema or Michael most nights, but like before any of this had occurred, I was a poor cook and was at fault for crisping our dinner more than a few occasions before Michael gave me gentle assurance he and Neema had the food under control. A subtle hint if I ever heard one and was almost relieved to apply my help elsewhere.

As creative as a lot of our ideas were to keep surviving until some kind of help arrived, we still strictly stayed to the top floor of Michael's apartment complex. Every day I saw Milton mark down the days on Michael's calendar until it felt we had trapped ourselves seemed the more proper term than waiting it out in hiding anymore. It began to resonate with me this was not just an outbreak; the way they'd first down-played the disease made it seem like another rash of the swine-flu or rabies. Whatever this was, was a bloody fucking genocide- and the infected were the persecutors of those living as they combed the streets of Atlanta day and night. As the weeks rolled by, we could hear the screams, sometimes at night, sometimes in the day; there was evidence there were others still alive amongst the city- even if we only found out from their last shrieks. I think we all knew this was bigger than any of our existences and extended well outside Georgia. I had to admit, my emotions had been essentially muffled the first few days, so everything seemed to crash down on me the hardest.

When the sun would begin to settle at the end of every day, we tended to gather on the roof to escape the confinements of Michael's apartment and under the stars that twinkled so cheerfully, almost taunting us with its impassiveness of the still beautiful amethyst leak of Georgia's creeping night sky. So unlike the rotting, dead earth below. It seemed to be the only remaining element of the world around us that hadn't changed while we ate from the groceries we had taken from the missing.

At first, the nine of us still treated the cleared out apartment floor with apprehension, none of us too keen on straying from the protection in numbers. Michael attempted to give up his bedroom, but after seeing just how much of his wife's belongings still remained, no one seemed to have the heart to take it from him. The other room had unofficially become the Blake family's place of residence at night, giving up the extra comfort of a bed to Philip's little girl. It wasn't lost on us how often she awoke in the middle of the night, the gasps of her sobs and cries were unmistakable through these thin walls even as Philip or Brian urged to quiet her back to sleep. She must dream as awfully as I did. Neema and I had been offered to take the couch, but I couldn't bring myself to be alone in my sleep so I took up a spot beside Todd on the living room floor on a set of blankets we snagged if either of us wasn't on watch. Nick took to joining us on the floor as well, sprawling out on his own blankets and pillow having declined cluttering up the spare bedroom with his friends since Brian was already taking up most of the floor's space while Milton usually slept slumped in one of Michael's armchairs that reclined.

At night I became almost painfully clingy, clutching a hold of whatever piece of Todd I could being the only way I could fall asleep properly. I suffered from a maddening devastation when I remembered when I hadn't know if I'd ever see him again and I just couldn't shake how fragile of luck I felt I somehow was blessed with. I was reminded by almost everyone but the Blake's how I still had someone. Although not married, I could be suffering the same empty sadness the now widowed Neema endured so silently, tending to her wounds with her back turned to the rest of us who were just about as clueless about how to comfort anyone else. Nick seemed to suffer the familiar pain of not knowing what had become of his family. Like me, he had confessed he hadn't heard a single word or call since the beginning of it all. Now with everyone's phone either dead by now, or just as useless without signal, it took me days to stomach what that forever meant about ever finding my family. But if Todd noticed my uncharacteristic clinginess, he never commented on it and seemed to know I rather not talk aloud about it, so he only held me in a comforting silence that could soothe me through the nights.

However, with nine people cluttered together in an apartment clearly meant to be accommodating to only one or two residents, it wasn't always coombuya and we had our moments of frustration of course. Todd and Nick seemed to be on the most opposite perspectives on matters of how we should handle our living situation and had become an argument constantly festered under the surface of almost every discussion that brewed an underlining division between us all. Todd constantly dropped suggestions that we should pursue further scouting explorations to reach out for help and more supplies while Nick insisted the best idea was to wait ourselves out in safety. Knowing Todd, who was usually patient and agreeable during the best of disputes, it surprised me to watch how frustrated Todd would become with our floor-mate. Sometimes they'd get into it so aggressively they would have to be broken up. It had become a point to make sure the both weren't paired together on watch duty since they refused to speak with one another on more than several occasions. But the way Nick seemed to talk down during a disagreement even sent me on edge. I of course never outwardly expressed any disagreement against Todd, but I could see his logic and was tugged back and forth between both sides of the coin. I knew Todd would never carelessly throw our safety on the back-burn, but we were all strangers to each other after all and I could understand Nick's unease to trust his ideas. For the time being, we held off on any rash decisions and continued to hold up where we'd been successful keeping us all undetected by the hordes of infected wandering just outside the building for this long.

Neema and Milton also seemed the most uncomfortable to be amongst the clutter of complete strangers. The Hindu woman's grief veiled over her like the scarf she had yet to disregard.
And around the presence of so many strange men under her unbearably restricting clothing, she seemed to struggle under the pressure of keeping her modesty. She refused any attempts to offering her more comfortable clothing and was withdrawn from any kind of conversation unless it was necessary. It was difficult understanding how she could bare wearing her head-scarf constantly over her face during this time of the year as the heat was steadily picking up. Since there was no working air conditioner or fan in Michael's apartment, the rooms heated up rapidly and were disgustingly humid for most of the day.. Knowing she had lost her whole family on the way to Atlanta, I began growing increasingly worried about her, and the gun she had asked from Todd kept pestering me, truly concerning me about her motives. When I tried discussing this with Todd, he admitted she probably was numb, but denied he thought she was suicidal- but I caught the way he eyed the gun he'd given her differently. Milton on the other hand, was someone I could empathize with a little better. He took to questioning me the most about my own experience during the outbreak; I could easily flow into medical discussions on what we both guessed this 'infection' could be, reminding me how I used to be able to talk with Zhao during work, to look up and find the others staring like we were speaking another language. Yet unlike Zhao, who could ease back into a casual conversation, I found Milton seemed to have little, if any, social skills when it came to conversing about anything else that didn't have to do with microbes and epidemiology. He seemed to be the most interested to hear of my experience treating the infected and questioned me rather thoroughly on the details of their contusions down to the rapid time of developed fevers, wanting me to indulge specifics that I tried to answer to the best of my ability, but there was only so much I could explain in words before the grew too painful and confusing that I felt I wasn't much help.

As the weeks rolled by since we opened Michael's apartment front door, then another, and another before we realized it had now become a month since Atlanta's downfall and not one omen of rescue was yet to be seen. The white sheet we'd finished sewing 'Alive Here' was vigilantly tacked down on the rooftop day and night but had yet to be of any use under empty skies. As we were beginning to realize how truly alone we really must be, we began growing exceptionally more withdrawn and less communicative with each other. Our faith that had been hyped after ransacking Michael's floor seemed to plummet all the more painfully this time. The taste of my words to Michael after his neighbors deaths left a bitter taste in my mouth that dissolved to ash off my tongue, feeling all the more foolish I could have pretended to be so assuring. During breakfasts or dinners, instead of coming together, getting to know one another and exchange banter like we had the first month, people were progressively beginning retreat and seek further privacy to themselves in the building. The Blake family eventually even moved out and took residence in the apartment across the ways. I suspected it was partially Philip's attempt to keep Penny's persistent night terrors more private, which I could understand, so I urged Todd not to give them too much grief. But Brian was now spending most of his time, if not on watch, in the Blake's 'new' apartment and hardly joined in any conversations during meals anymore, only exchanging words occasionally on watch. And eventually, Neema began to spend her nights in the apartment next door as well. One night when I went looking for her to try cojoling her back to sleep with the rest of us, I opened the apartment's bedroom door to glimpse her crying alone. I couldn't find the heart to interrupt and neither knew the words to say myself, so I left her alone and returned to bed. After that, I never bothered her about where she chose to sleep because Michael and Nick seemed to vocalize their unease about the separation enough. I think everyone else, including Todd and myself, would never admit it aloud, but I secretly assumed were still too uneasy and frightened to split up.

It wasn't until one exceptionally subdued night at dinner, a freshly shaven Philip showed up; the men had recently taken advantage of the shavers we had salvaged considering most of them had become almost wolfish, even Todd had finally shaved his light blond goatee that had been well on its way to becoming a beard. But it wasn't the clean face that attracted my attention, but the bottles stuffed under his arms as he tried to balance them without clinking the glass together too noisily. I recognized the few various bottles of alcohol we'd came across from the apartments and raised an eyebrow; we had said we'd wait until rescued to break out the liquor, something to look forward to. Yet this didn't deter Todd or Nick from getting up to help relieve the man of his load unquestionably, almost as if they were relieved as they brought the bottles over by the embers of the fire we were putting out. I realized no one seemed to point out we were supposed to be saving them, not even Michael who wordlessly picked out the Yellowtail to pour in his cup and beckoned for a speechlessly shocked Milton to offer over his own cup to fill. I saw Todd grab for the bottle of already opened Sailor Jerry's while Philip browsed a little more thoughtfully to pick out a still sealed bottle of E&J. Even Brian snagged a Bacardi Silver and Nick took an almost full bottle of Jager almost as fast as Todd and Philip. The usually stubborn man shook his head but opening the cap to take a generous gulp nonetheless. Todd offered to try his rum, but my stomach felt too hollow for hard alcohol so I sorely resigned to take the other's lead and picked out a bottle of Riunite. Opening up the sealed wine, I noticed Neema hadn't made to grab for any of the liquor- but I caught her searching stare under the scarf draped away from her face today as she watched Todd chug like some desperate lush and even breathed a small laugh at his obnoxiousness. I couldn't help but pour until it was almost to the brim of my plastic blue cup before I pulled back the bottle, a cheap substitute for a wine glass I mused. Glancing over at Neema still picking at her food, I held out the wine bottle and gestured encouragingly for her cup, but not as demandingly as Michael. She stared over at me and the glass I had poured for myself, frowning thoughtfully for a long awkward few moments. I was about to concede, not wanting to pressure her, but before I retreated the bottle back she offered over her cup for me to pour her some as well. Unable to help the small smile that burst over me, I didn't top her off as much as mine, but I poured a generous amount nonetheless.

Unlike the last time we cheered one another, this exchange was quietly bittersweet. When I tapped cups with Milton, who had been sitting across from Todd and I with Michael, his eyes were imploring mine with uncertainty; like he knew if there was a person here who recognized and opposed the symbolism of drinking before rescue arrived it would be me. Yet I felt much too tired to protest at this pount and resigned to shrink back to knock back quite a generous gulp, sliding back the warm wine and pondering over the Lumbruso's dark sourness, whatever flavor that was supposed to be. Settled ever-so-slightly by the wine's warmth mulling over the knots in the pit of my stomach, I could only offer Milton a small shrug. Me protesting wasn't going to restore anyone's faith.

"To month numero tres," Nick muttered blandly, pulling another drink straight from his dark, forest green bottle. The men who had chosen hard liquor hadn't bothered with cups either as they joined him. Everyone collectively drank to the new week; even Neema and Milton tipped their cups and sipped their wine.

We all drank silently for a while, content to let the alcohol soothe everyone's thoughts that seemed anywhere but on the rooftop. I was plenty guilty of this, thinking back to my family miles and miles away, wondering if I was able to turn my phone back on if there would be a message letting me know someone had made it. I hadn't realized I'd swallowed more than half of my drink when Todd had reached a hand over to grab a hold of mine. It was past sun-down and the only light was from the hue of embers still cultivating a warm glow, enough to illuminate Todd's eyes shining brightly over at me. I couldn't help feel my lips slide into a soft, pathetic smile, but I squeezed his hand back. Since finding each other at St. Joseph's, I could never feel grateful enough. Someone of mine had made it, and I tried to be thankful enough with that to keep me from losing my mind. His scraped up arm and leg were healing accordingly, only remaining with dry scabs that he claimed were unbearably itchy as I tried to discourage his scratching when I could. His panda-like bruises around his eyes had eventually faded, only a few scabs across the side of his face still lingered but for the most part were practically healed, revealing now how most of his eyebrow hairs had been scraped off with his skin. But he was alive and we were together, and that was a miracle in itself.

I often wondered if Steven had made it out of Atlanta and found his wife. I imagined plenty of the EMT's had never even made it back to the hospital, let alone to their families.

We sat drinking silently until it seemed we began to comfortable enjoy the night silent with each other; the alcohol must have been putrid to drink strength, but much like myself, no one else seemed say anything past sour faces. Philip took to urging us wine drinkers to take shots of his brandy, even succeeding in getting Milton to take one much to the amusement to the rest of us to see him sputter and cough, seemingly just about as accustomed to alcohol than Penny. Even Todd and Nick exchanged drinks, taking a swig with each other. It was a thing to see and I felt others watch in quiet appreciation but no one said so aloud; you wouldn't know these two had a strife between each other that night. I found myself soon relaxing from the tension that seemed to loom over us the past couple days and eventually took a few drinks from Todd's rum. It was in our inebriated comfort that Philip suggested we make a game of our indulgence.

"What is this, high school?" I teased, scoffing at the idea of a drinking game at a time like this, with dead corpses wandering around below us. Yet I felt too light to linger on our predicament for too long.

"Oh come on," Philip tried to bribe; laughter in his own voice I suspected was loosened by the brandy.

"Well not all of us were troublemakers drinking under the age,” Todd nudged at me, his eyes twinkling down at me considering we both knew he was no Mr. Innocent.

“I guess if we played 'I Never', we'd know how to get you two drinkin," Philip mused, earning a few guilty chuckles amongst the group.

"'I Never'?" Milton inquired, pink splotches already flushing his cheeks. I giggled to myself that Milton must be a lightweight.

"You can't honestly mean you've never played 'I Never'," Brian exclaimed, interrupting his pull of Bacardi.

"Yeah Dr. Mamet, I thought you were supposed to be the frat boy out of all us," Nick jested, turning Milton's face from its soft rose hue to lobster red that could be seen even in the dark.

"That wasn't exactly what I went to school for," Milton mumbled.

"Then I guess if I was to say I Never played I never, it'd be safe to say a third of us would be out," Nick said, raising his own bottle to his lips with a smirk, waiting as gradually everyone but Milton, Neema, and Penny relented in joining him.

"That makes no sense," Neema commented, eying us a bit amusedly as she exchanged a look with Milton who seemed just as perplexed.

"It's silly really," I explained, reaching over to pour a little more wine in her cup. "You usually want to say what'll get the majority drinking. If someone says they never did something that you actually have done, you drink."

"Like, I never passed the sixth grade?" Penny asked from her spot curled against her dad who draped his arm over her shoulders and giggled along with the rest of us, everyone but Penny taking a drink. Philip smiled back but it wasn't as warm as it had just briefly been. I wondered if Penny would ever finish the sixth grade after all this.

"See, she gets it," Todd grinned. "C'mon, she can play too, she's got juice. We'll keep it clean."

And much to my disbelief, we actually began playing. It started off with safe, generic questions: I never broke a bone, I never got the chicken pox, I've never been pulled over, I've never lied about my age (funnily enough, Neema was the only who didn't drink), or I've never knowingly wrote a bad check. Before I knew it, the wine Neema and I had been sharing ran dry and I was now sharing from Todd's rum, ignoring I would regret mixing so much in the morning. As the nine of us loosened our hackles amongst each other after the suffocating tension this past few weeks, I subconsciously realized my cheekbones were being used the most since the outbreak. And it was nice seeing others relaxing as well; Brian was chuckling along, intermingling himself back into conversations he'd taken to leaving his brother to handle in favor of watching Penny, who's face that was constantly etched with fear and sadness had broken into the first real smile I saw come from her in weeks. Even Nick and Todd seemed to put aside their differences to exchange friendly banter with Philip's clever liquid encouragement. As the game progressed, people seemed to take to targeting individuals none to discreetly; such as Brian saying he never snores, effectively calling out Michael and Nick who we'd all gradually learned in the confines of a small apartment, or Todd targeting those never growing past six feet, getting the Blake brothers to drink together. Even Milton seemed to surprisingly throw a bit of humor out when picking me out by saying he'd never been named after a fruit. The men seemed to even playfully gang up against the only three girls of the groups, getting Neema, Penny, and I to drink after a few rounds of specific gender related I've nevers.

"I've never finished college," Philip said, smiling over at Milton who I noticed the guys just loved to pick on to get drinking. I was shy to be the only other one amongst the group to take a sip with Milton.

"Where from?" Nick inquired to the both of us.

"UC Davis," I shrugged, avoiding eyes but looking to Milton, truly interested.

"John Hopkins University," he offered up, taking note that his usual anxious stutter was considerably slurred.

"That's pretty prestigious," I commented, raising my eyebrows impressed. "What'd you major in?"

"I-I received my MD in Kinesiology," he explained, shying his gaze down bashfully. I felt admiration, but also an old familiar pang of envy I swallowed back with another swig of rum even though I already took my penalty.

"What did you degree in, Olive?" Michael asked.

"I double-majored, in Anthropology and Natural Science," I mumbled, relating to how Milton must feel.

"Interesting. Physical science and a non-science degree? But no Med School?" I almost visibly winced as Milton hit the head on the nail of a question I always hated answer. I avoided old classmates like the plague just to avoid the 'what happened to you' inquiries.

"No Med School." I replied flatly, taking another drink to ignore Todd's glances before I passed the bottle back. There was a little moment of silence that made my face catch fire before Penny chimed in to take her turn.

"I've never been married." She smiled over at her dad she had cleverly singled out who took his drink along with Michael and Neema. I'm sure Penny only meant to target in good fun and hadn't known any better, but I caught the mood of Neema and Michael shift. I knew from Todd's confession, Neema's husband had died terribly recent, so it wasn't a surprise to see pain reflecting from the corner of her eyes as she began to rapidly blink away the memories of her family behind a sip of more wine. Glancing over at our oldest member, I also knew his story, so it seemed the topic of marriage seemed somber for Michael as well. The way a lot of the apartment was untouched in some areas, more distinctively things his wife used to keep or organize things through the house, I could imagine how hard it was letting so many strangers disrupt its former upkeep.

Some part of me couldn't help but prickle uncomfortably next to Todd at our ineligibility, because I had a distinct feeling he felt it more. I remained adamant to avoid turning to look at Todd, and even though I hadn't looked to see his expression, I knew something about that question pricked him in the way that he sat rigid against me. Though I refused to acknowledge I noticed anything out of place between us and instead distracted myself by asking Michael how many years he was married to his late wife.

"1964, we eloped when I was drafted," Michael hummed with a twinkle of remembrance in his eyes. "She passed before our 45th year."

Nick whistled, his eyebrows raised. I myself felt taken aback, not really realizing how old Michael was until adding it up in my head.

"Damn. You're marriage is older than me, man." We laughed at Nick's comment that lightened us up again, but when I chanced a glance at the man beside me, I quickly looked away at his stoic expression that had been the only one to not loosen up. I wished Brian would hurry and change the topic with his next turn.

"Did it agree with you?" Everyone turned to Todd who had looked up from the bottom of his bottle to shrug and only had eyes for Michael's answer.

"Pardon?"

"Marriage," Todd clarified. I felt myself shrivel and knew where this was going. "Did it agree with you? You two happy all forty-five years? Or does shit fade after so long?"

"Todd, that's pretty rude," I exclaimed, unable to keep quiet anymore beside the festering man, who I'd noticed was no longer leaning against me.

"No, that's quite fine," Michael said, looking truly thoughtful for a moment with his wine he had to swish in his hand before he met Todd's gaze evenly.

"Were we always happy? Heavens no. For god's sake, sometimes I used to think we were the only two people who knew how to truly get under one another's skin."

I could feel my brows shoot up in shock, as did the rest of us besides Philip, who seemed to get a big kick out of Michael's statement that I hadn't realized was supposed to be funny.

"But that never meant a day passed that I didn't love her," he finished, smiling to himself. "Happiness ebbs and flows, but love, that never fades."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Todd turn his gaze over at me- with an expectant expression I'm sure. But I bit my lip and pretended I didn't notice, not meaning to ruin Michael's touching words, but I turned to Neema instead to ask for some of her wine since I didn't feel like drinking from Todd's rum anymore.

"What about you Neema? How long were you married?" I asked, trying to act nonchalant while pouring myself another cup Neema obliged.

"Sixteen years," she replied quietly, not quite meeting anyone's eyes. Being the master of avoidance, I recognized she shunned the attention as well, passing it off on the only other married person of the group. "What about you Philip?"

"Oh, we weren't quite as seasoned as you both," he replied, though looking much more comfortable under scrutiny. "Was 'bout eleven years."

Acknowledging each other's lives before the world went to shit, it was odd getting a glimpse into these people I'd been forced to live with under the current circumstances.

"But on Michael's note 'bout marriage, can't say I agree more," Philip added, looking down at his daughter and squeezed her shoulder as she listened intently. "You may not find yourself wakin' up to the person you thought you knew when y'all first met- but I got the best thing I ever did from her."

I couldn't help feel uneasy, yet it was still nice to hear about love at such a time as this- but I held my question about where Penny's mom was behind my teeth. Shifting the mood, Brian seemed to catch the awkward ambiance as he grinned softly over at us. "I've never carried around a bag full of guns like some arsonist."

Unable to contain an outburst of laughter, I muffled my own grin behind my hand as I dared to glance at Todd, seemingly shaken out from his brooding to shrug and take a drink. I wasn't the only one to find this highly amusing, earning a collective laugh like it was some inside joke between us all.

"I've been meaning to ask about that bag since day one," Philip admitted, a breath of laughter between words. "You must'a had some sound sleeps."

“Yeah dude," Nick asked, half breathless from laughing. "What's with the uni-bomber bag?"

"Well I guess being a gun enthusiast these days pays off," Todd chuckled along with the rest. "A lot of 'em were my pop's that I inherited- she's made me get rid of a lot more I used to have."

"Well excuse me for not being too enthused," I snorted. "He had hunting rifles and shotguns!"

"Yeah, conditions of her moving in were to get rid of my Browning and Winchesters- I only have a Remington Whitetail," he exclaimed.

"You had ammo for my Ruger," Philip pointed out. "What's you're supply on handguns?"

"Yours was the .22 right?" Todd asked, confirmed by the man's nod. "Neema has my Taurus. Pistol wise, Olive has the Barretta and I was using the Glock G21. I only got a box of .45's for a Kimber Pro Carry and a Stoeger."

It was silent for a moment, and suddenly, I realized people were glancing amongst each other. I joked often about how crazy of a gun collection Todd had, but I never really believed he owned them to go on a shooting spree, knowing full well he used the rifles for hunting. Before I could speak up defensively on my boyfriend's behalf, Philip breathed a laugh took another thoughtful drink of brandy.

"Bought the thing at a flea market years ago," he shrugged. "I had burglars more in mind if I ever had to use it."

Bet you never thought you'd be shooting out people's brains.

"Anyways," Nick drawled, steering on the game. "I never...peed in the shower?"

"I thought this was supposed to be clean," Neema exclaimed, finding it highly amusing that almost everyone took a drink- and yeah, so did I. However, everyone couldn't help but bust up at Penny taking a rather bashful sip.

"You're turn Michael."

"I never..." our host seemed stuffed for a moment, until he combed his hand through the top of his head. "I never had a full head of hair."

Everyone exclaimed at Michael's effective question at getting everyone but himself to drink.

"Hey man, in a couple years you'll be excluded," Brian elbowed his older brother who scoffed and ran a hand through his own hair.

"Lay off," he shot back, shaking his head at the younger Blake.

And we carried on for quite some time, going around our circle several times exchanging I never topics. Eventually, Penny ran out of her juice and was too tired to stay up the rest of the night with us, falling asleep with her head in Philips lap as he continued on with us but was careful not to jostle her awake. With the little girl asleep, the game took a bit of a mischievous turn- Nick was to blame for trying to embarrass a few with his 'I never done it before the twelfth grade'- causing Neema to narrow her eyes, seemingly unapproving and bashful along with Milton, who turned tomato red again as he coughed rather uncomfortably. The father of the sleeping girl only chuckled along with his friend, nudging his own brother who did not raise his cup to drink along with Neema, Milton, and Michael. Must be an inside joke amongst the three I guessed, but couldn't help but bashfully drink along with Todd and the others who were more brazen about it. When it was my turn, I couldn't help but pursue the topic as I seemed to lie back at ease into old humor.

"I never... " I exchanged a sly grin at half tried to contain it from over the rim of my cup. "Had a cramp while love making?" Todd snorted and I earned myself another rumble of laughter from the circle of adults. He rose an eyebrow over at me, shaking his head but grinned as he took a drink. But he wasn't alone as every other male present drank along.

"To be fair, that a week I'd been working double shifts," he tried to justify, only partially indignant. I looked over to roll my eyes up at him but restrained myself when he leaned back into me, feeling the comfort of his chest against my shoulder. I shivered when he reached over to lightly pinch my side, absently tickling me as he thought about what he'd say for his turn.

"Whatever. I've never been lazy taking turns." I felt my already warm face burn at Todd's insinuation and I giggled along with the others at my expense, but found myself drinking along with plenty others which sent us cackling until Neema remembered where we were and shushed us back down. In rotation, it was now Philip's turn, and despite the level of matureness (or lack of) that had changed now that his daughter fell asleep, he was smiling in mischievous thought with his hand resting over Penny's ears in her sleep.

"I've never been too subtle 'bout someone spendin' the night." I grinned as Philip cast a look to his brother who resigned to look down the bottom of his bottle and avoided the older Blake's grin, trying hard himself to keep from blushing it seemed.

"For the last time, she didn't-"

"Five o'clock in the mornin' ain't stayin' the night?" Philip laughed but nodded and raised his hands in mock surrender. "Awright though if you wanna' stick to the 'just talkin' story."

We carried on with the very personal, but good-natured teasing for a while longer until it seemed we were slipping from the point of being relaxingly tipsy to drunk that I put it down to the the bottles all of us seemed to single-handedly kill. But eventually we grew a few more years and tried to steer the questions back in a more illicit track. Milton was the first to succumb to puking back up so many cups of wine I'm sure he wasn't regularity used to. Much too belligerent to make it back down the hall himself, Michael and Neema retired with him, rushing him to the bathroom as he began to turn green. The game eventually dwindled, after their departure, yet Todd and I stayed behind a while longer drinking with Philip, Brian and Nick.

"Not that this doesn't do the job," I murmured. "But what I wouldn't give for a cold beer."

There was a hum of agreement among the men. Taking a moment to look them over, I couldn't help but smile at their vulnerability in their much looser, inebriated states after so many weeks of living on edge with each other. Even Nick's disgruntlement seemed softened- and when Todd began to speak up, I realized I hadn't been the only one to take notice.

"Listen guys." We all picked our gazes up to the man beside me, turning his now empty bottle in his hand thoughtfully before he breathed a sigh and looked up to meet the other men's stares. "I know you don't know me. And I get that. I don't know you either."

I felt anxious and wondered if this would be the end of a peaceful night, but no one spoke so it was enough encouragement for Todd to continue. "But I know you got your own to look after."

I saw him glance down at the little girl asleep in her father's lap, earning an earnest, sobered nod from Philip who stared back intently to wait and hear what Todd had to say.

"So do I, bro." Almost flinching in surprise, Todd had reached down to rest a hand around one of my feet that had been crossed in front of me, feeling him gently squeeze my toes briefly through my shoe. "I wouldn't suggest putting my own at risk if we didn't need to. Or your own."

"Well I think we can all come to an understanding on that," Philip agreed, waiting for what Todd was really getting at while Brian watched on thoughtfully, but I could see Nick was observing much more apprehensively, knowing just as well as I where this was going.

"I think we need to start considering there might not be any help on their way. At least not for a long while," he started slowly. "And not before our supplies runs out here."

I felt myself grow heavier at Todd's words. We had all feared this was our last option and it felt surreal we were actually pushing these crossroads we had desperately tried to keep pushing back.

"Before the phone lines went down, my brother got a hold of me. He said thein San Diego, the Marine base was overrun." This came as a shock to me and I couldn't help but tear up at remembering another loved one of ours was lost somewhere across the country. Todd and his younger brother had grown up partners in crime, being almost as close in age like Nat and I, so I knew this must be painful for him to reveal. I couldn't help but feel a prick of hurt that he hadn't even told me about his phone call, but pushed it aside for another time. "I didn't know what he meant by overrun then... But clearly, military had no idea how to handle this- look at what happened to the National Guard in a day. It just makes me question who's even still out there."

"He's right," I couldn't help but whisper. "No one at the hospital even knew what this was. Soldiers were open firing at the CDC."

"So what're you suggesting?" Brian asked, his expression seeming open enough past the glassy blood-shot glaze.

"Those stiffs out there'll starve us out if we keep on like this. We should at least search out more resources to keep us going. We've been living a month off Michael's floor but we've only got a week more of rations tops-"

"So how do you suggest we go and find these resources?" Nick interrupted shrewdly, his softened mood from earlier already slowly beginning to sharpen.

"This is the eighth floor. We've got seven other floors to gather from-"

"If we compromise the barricade-"

"I'm not saying we compromise anything," Todd snapped back, his calm approach of reasoning starting to crack under frustration with Nick's pessimism.

"Nick, please." Philip sighed beside his friend, shooting him a tired, exasperated look at the man's interruptions. Seeing this was about to start another row, I felt myself about to talk down this argument before Philip beat me to it.

"Awright, let's just- keep it easy," Philip eased, gesticulating his hands between the six of us. "This was supposed to be a night to forget. Let's just enjoy ta'night. Tomorrow, we hash out a real discussion 'bout this."

Turning away from Nick's spoiled mood, I could see Philip's gaze find Todd's for a long moment before nodding. "'Cus I do agree with you. We can't keep living waitin'."

Even Todd seemed surprised at Philip's admission, and I couldn't help but feel some respect at the man's calm approach between the two clashing perspectives, especially since one of them happened to be the man's friend. Rather than endure through another argument that was sure to come from Nick's brooding, I sat up none too gracefully and claimed I wanted to call it a night at already seeing his mouth start to part to form some words of inclination. Brian agreed, blinking behind heavy eyelids but offered to take Penny to bed when Philip inclined to stay behind for watch. I couldn't help but feel surprised at hearing Philip ask Nick if he'd stay behind to keep watch with him and wondered if the man was offering to soothe his friend's misgivings, but Nick grumbled his agreement unexcitedly. Todd obliged me, sitting up immediately to help steer me through the rooftop exit and down the hall with an amused twinkle in his glossy eyes when I unbalanced a few times towards the apartment. We'd been shit-faced with each other plenty of times, so I didn't feel too embarrassed about letting him walk me and unable to contain our laughter at hearing someone hurling rather loudly a few doors down. Brian looked back as we all attempted to muffle our chuckles at poor Milton's expense.

After Brian bid us good night as he ducked into the apartment the Blake family vacated, rather than follow into Michael's just across the hall, not knowing for certain why that saddened me so much. But I didn't have long to think Brian's persistent seclusion when I felt Todd's grip around me abruptly jerk us around. Pulled quickly into an apartment a few doors down, I felt myself freeze up a little and gaze around hastily for anything bleeding and snarling, but Todd seemed to already anticipate my apprehension.

"I double-checked before dinner, every room's clear I promise." Trying to urge myself to follow Philip's advise about keeping things easy, I tried to smile back and tentatively let myself relax back into the lightness of the night. It was small, almost identical to Michael's but was unnaturally much more bare, obviously taking a big hit from the guys or its original residence. Unlike Michael's, the wall's were an eggshell white with various frames paintings and posters decorating the the apartment's interior rather than pictures and portraits. But before I could observe anymore, Todd physically pulled my gaze back to meet his with his hand against my chin and I couldn't help but feel pleasingly startled at the lustrous glint in his bright eyes. It suddenly dawned on me we hadn't had a decent moment of privacy with each other amongst the crowdedness of living in the same room with three other people for almost a month and even fewer moments of intimacy. Reaching out for me, I couldn't resist letting myself sink into Todd's hold and let his fingers stroke soothingly down bare arms and remembered how we used to make love before we turned so cold towards each other. His lips tasted of the black liquorice rum we'd been sharing together, shushing any more of my inquiries as he pressed me back softly into the apartment door, leaving me to distantly wonder if he could taste the bitter sweetness of my wine as well. We started off playful in our induced inebriation, breathing a few giggles when the button of his jeans just wouldn't budge or we yanked a little too greedily on one another's lip. Then everything seemed to progress much more heatedly when we retreated further into the apartment and felt myself backed onto a couch. Peeling off each other's clothes in an almost desperate rush, I almost forgot how much I missed his nips along my throat to the spot behind my ear where he knew made my toes curl. The previous few months before any of this, we'd been roughly intimate with one another, using a little more teeth and bruising fingers to almost mirror our internal struggle against each other. But this time it seemed different; even though I could feel the need beneath his hands I could feel him handling me much more careful than he ever had, as if he no longer believed I could withstand such passionate aggression. I felt myself trying to inspire a bit more fervor, but each advance seemed to be coaxed slower and soothed into a trance of soft kisses until I shut my eyes and let him take me where it seemed he wanted this to go.

"I'm sorry." His nose nuzzled its way in the crook of my neck where he softly whispered and I felt myself nod numbly. "About everything before. We're alive and nothing else matters."

I couldn't recall anything to say back as I felt myself become lost back in the darkness underneath Todd's touches, feeling the safest and untouched by the world outside since the outbreak. The dead didn't reach for me here. Not now. I sighed into Todd's shoulder at the remembrance of how exquisite we felt together. I softly brushed back the hair that tickled my cheeks as we started leisurely slow, catching eyes through the faintly moonlit room. I was consumed by a bright cerulean fire; every molecule was pulsing as I caught fire in the hottest of flames. And oh did it burn so good. The heat flickered up my abdomen and down my legs until I could barely withhold my gasps while Todd seemed unable to contain himself either. My fingers dragged helplessly down his shoulder blades as it felt it was all I could do as I broke under Todd after he pushed deep and desperate one last particular time. We were both breathless and I could even feel his forearms shake under his weight on top of me. Too exhausted for words, I held him for a moment with him still inside me as a brushed a few wet kissed up his neck and devoured his mouth, uncaring about the taste of sweat I'd just licked off him before I let him roll off. The both of us slouched together on the couch as all the alcohol of the night suddenly weighed much more heavily as we groggily tried covering up. I slipped back into my underwear and was uncaring about shrugging on Todd's t-shirt, but he didn't say a word if he cared, only making the effort to pull back up his boxer briefs anyways. I all but flopped back down beside him to enjoy the comfort of the couch cushions and couldn't help but feel a smile crawl across my lips as I tucked myself against Todd who's breathing was already beginning to sound deep.

"Isn't there a bed?" I couldn't help but mumble into his shoulder only to receive a half-conscious hum.

"Why'd we use the couch then?" I asked, a small laugh tickling his neck under my breath.

"Mmm," he groaned but I spotted a smirk slip over him as he pulled me closer. "Sorry darlin, maybe next time."

Sleepily rolling my eyes, I was too tired to scoff let alone tease him about 'next time', so I was content enough to let us both lull off to sleep since I was much too spent to move to the bed.



However contrary to how peaceful I'd been when I fell sleep, it seemed Central Park's flames were all I could dream about. Lucid visions of my sister's haughty, unblemished face had become bloody and black from being charred as I could only watch frozen as she walked out from the surrounding fire, her mouth a gape as she screamed for me. The smell of burning hair and flesh were choking me as I watched my sister melt in front of me, the overwhelming stench of Nat's burning flesh was all but suffocating me as I tried to battle through the smokescreen she was howling through. But before I could run to her, I saw the claws of the dead, still alive even while up in flames, reach from out the fires and yank her further into the flames to join them. When I heard myself scream after her, my chest felt too constricted as if my lungs were being squeezed too tight and I could barely pull in a breath long enough to relieve them. Terror-stricken, I felt myself drop to my knees as I could only forlornly watch my sister pulled beyond my reach while useless tears leaked down my face. I couldn't help but sob and gag inbetween gasps,
clutching my neck from the effort of trying to hack back a decent inhale of air.

It wasn't until a figure ran up to loom over me, reaching down to yank me up so hard I would've yelped at how painfully they gripped me if I could breathe properly, but all I could do was wheeze a strangled cry as I thrashed to pull away from letting myself be thrown in with Nat. Though rather than drag me back, they shook me rather roughly, wobbling my head on my neck like a rag doll while I gasped for air between my shrieks of resistance and horror. Squeezing my eyes closed, I cried in despair at only being able to hear my sister's screams beyond the roar of fire so I attempted clamping my hands over my ears to block out Nat's torturous howls, but felt myself freeze when instead a much different, though familiar voice boomed loud in my face, startling me to snap my eyes back open.

"Olive, it's a dream! You're dreaming."

Rather than reopening my eyes to encircling flames, I was in darkness. But the more I blinked I could make out Todd's face outlined by a light I hadn't remembered before. He was close and in my face with a deeply troubled expression furrowing his eyebrows and curving a frown as he searched me long and hard like a doctor diagnosing a disease. Trying to process what Todd was yelling in my face, I pieced together I must have fallen prone to another nightmare. Yet it seemed unlike the fires, my shortness of breath hadn't been left behind in my dream as I became consciously aware it was still incredibly difficult to inhale past an overwhelming weight I felt was caving in my chest. I found myself sputtering, like I was being held underwater, just below the surface enough to try sucking for air before a current lapped back over me. I tried to soothe my panicking lungs but it seemed I could never catch enough air when I tried to exhale and gasp for air, shuddering after another poor rattled gasp as I attempted to keep from choking.

"Shit man, Milton won't get up, he's too out of it." I hadn't realized Todd and I were no longer alone in the apartment we'd snuck off to and could hear others behind me.

"Stay with her!" Alarmed I tried to catch Todd but he already took off out the apartment front door before I could stammer to ask where he was going, Neema caught my hand instead and suddenly took his place sitting in front of me.

"Shh, shh." She tried to soothe me. "You're having an asthma attack. You need to calm down, you're 'vurking yourself up 'vurse."

I was trying to follow the woman's advise as I struggled to swallow and inhale but I could only gulp back a gasp at a time when I heard the hard thumps of footsteps run back from the hall. Todd hurried to slide back down next to me, pushing my inhaler against my lips and firmly instructing me to breathe. Sucking in the medication, I could only hold it in shortly and coughed from the strain of trying to extend my inhalations. Yet when I tried gulping for another breathe, I could feel the inhaler's effect at the slow relief inside my restricted chest.

"There you go. Deeper breaths, babe." Encouraging me to take a few more hits of my inhaler, I could gradually feel my lungs begin to allow themselves to expand enough to fill. Eventually, my shuddering was reduced to sobs when the emotion of remembering my dream seeped deep within my bones, reducing me to a weeping mess against Todd.

"It was just a dream."

However, my new found ease was short-lived when a sudden flood of warmth flooded my mouth, a lurch deep within my stomach bolted me up off the floor I hadn't realized I'd lying on, ripping out of Todd's hold to sprint for the restroom down the hall. I barely made it to the toilet before I hurled all the liquor from the night back up to leave a disgustingly sour taste behind in my mouth. I found myself practically curled around this strange apartment's toilet, practically feeling my temples throb as I felt a headache intensify with every heave. I could only clench my eyes while my body uncontrollably tensed at every gag, sounding like I'd turned into some monster, roaring and spewing erratically into the old distilled toilet water that had previously been clean. At last it seemed I was finally allowed to relax, my head lulled against the cold porcelain while I panted weakly as I struggled to get my breathing back under control. Spitting the last of my stomach, I eventually rose my head back up so I could take deeper breaths that didn't smell like vomit. Swiping a shaking hand over my mouth, I coughed to clear my throat and sighed tiredly, only barely realizing someone had been stroking my back and keeping my loose curtain of hair pulled away from the line of fire.

"Better?"

I dully nodded, suddenly feeling how drained and could only manage to shiver with my arms wrapped around my shaking abdomen as I leaned over the porcelain bowl. Under heavy-lidded eyelids I felt myself softly eased back and a cold, wet wash cloth wiped my face to ease my cheeks that felt burning hot. Almost if the hues of heat from the fires in my dream still remained. I was too disoriented still by the dream and becoming violently sick that I felt too debilitated to be self-conscious about creating a scene in front of an audience. I groaned at being scooped up away from the coolness of the toilet and hid my face in what felt to be Todd's chest and was grateful he carried me away from the attention and settled us somewhere into blankets. I closed my eyes and couldn't console the shakes that continued to wrack my body, silently crying into Todd's neck, uncaring I was dripping tears all down his chest while he continued to run his hands up and down my back. It reminded me of how fragile he'd touched me earlier.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I bit my lip and felt incapable of explaining in words what had just happened. Recalling the best night I'd had since the world fell apart almost a month ago, I felt embittered my subconscious would choose tonight to bring to life the worst of my fears for my family I would never know what became of. It had been exceptionally thoughtful of Todd to clear out an apartment for us and I felt stupid for spoiling the night. Even Penny hadn't caused such a scene. I knew everyone else had lost who-knows how many loved ones, yet I was the only one waking up hysterical at night with the nine-year-old little girl.

"I saw my sister." I murmured. "I saw her and she was dying."

I said it so monotonously, intentionally cold-shouldering his concern so he would leave it alone for now. There was a long pause between us before I felt his coarse chin hairs brush over my forehead as he eventually nodded and we remained quiet. Having been so tired only moments ago, I couldn't fall back asleep no matter how long I closed my eyes. I noticed we were back in Michael's spare bedroom we'd inherited after the Blakes moved apartments. After a long while of restlessness, I just pretended to fall asleep to allow Todd to rest. I could feel him stubbornly staying awake for my sake and once he thought I'd fallen back to sleep, the sound of his deep breaths came soon after. When assured he was fully unconscious, I peeked my eyes back open to stare fretfully up at the ceiling. It was no use trying to rub away the burning images behind my eyelids.

Tireless hours wore by and I eventually disentangled myself out from Todd, creeping out from the bedroom when I could bear it no more. On my way down the hall, the restroom door had been left ajar and could faintly make out Milton stretched out under a blanket on the tile floor, right beside a strategically placed waste bin. I felt a little regretful for laughing with the others, considering I had made much bigger of a mess. It was still very early from the saturation beginning to arise from the previous night sky peeking through the window curtains. Neema had gone back to sleep and was lying still across the couch while I could see Nick had taken to liberty of using the chair Milton usually used. Creeping quietly as not to awaken anyone while still in only my underwear and Todd's oversized shirt, I tip-toed with my bare feet across the living room to quietly slip out into the hall. Closing the door as soundlessly as I could manage, I padded down the hall back into the apartment we'd spent the night in. Picking through the strewn about clothing, I hurried to pull my jeans back up and switched the large shirt with my more proper-sized blouse I'd found hanging embarrassingly off a coffee table. I felt my face warm thinking it probably wasn't hard to miss to the others last night either.

Rather than return back into the apartment to drop off the rest of Todd's clothes, I didn't want to risk waking up anyone else, so instead I slunk out down to hall and frustratingly fanned the heat from my cheeks at the thought of approaching anyone who'd witnessed my episode. Squinting towards the morning sunlight beaming through the propped open door leading out to the roof, I padded up the steps and out under haze of periwinkle Georgian sky, the clouds already dispersed allowing the sun to brighten up the day already. Cupping my hands over my eyes to shield from the brightness until my eyes adjusted, I was able to make out Nick and Brian hunched in a pair of lawn chairs. Already the summer sun was was warming up the air, imagining was why Brain was wearing an almost obnoxiously big straw hat and Nick a fisherman type bucket hat. Nick had been looking out through the pair of binoculars he'd found with Philip in one of the apartments while the two were observing over the ledge of rooftop. Having most likely heard my footsteps up the stairs, Brian turned to squint over at me, realizing it was me and offering me a small smile and a wave.

"Hey you."

I smiled timidly over at his greeting as I approached, turning to glance and see if there was anything they had particularly been looking at. Seeing only the usual people- dead people shuffling aimlessly amongst themselves. I cringed and averted my attention back to the two on watch. When there wasn't a meal of a living person in range, it was like they didn't know what to do with themselves as they wandering the streets and alleys from around the apartment.

"You been out here all night?" I asked, sympathetically noting how slow Nick was blinking behind the binocular lenses before turning to eye me for a moment before shrugging.

"Figured everyone could use the sleep. I sobered up hours ago," he replied off-handedly, pausing for a moment to continue a little more carefully. "Told Todd I'd be cool to take his watch."

I looked away bashfully and was unbearably uncomfortable as I nodded in understanding.

"I relieved my brother a while ago to stay with Penny." Brian cleared his throat a little awkwardly to try swaying the conversation and smiled a little wider in empathy.

"I can take over for you," I offered. "Get some sleep. I got it."

Nick consider my offer; I was aware of him silently observing me and I wondered if I looked about as tired as I thought he did. Though he relented, thanking me before passing me the binoculars, patting the back of my shoulder as he walked back down into the hall. Rather than resuming Nick's scanning, I passed off the binoculars to Brian. To be honest with myself, I avoided actually scanning around for signs of people in the city like the others, leaving it up to the others who seemed much more willing. I preferred the confines of the apartment floor, the only remaining semblance of what normalcy looked like only a month ago. It just felt too fucking unreal for me to swallow and look out the window at what the world had become. Streets were stained in blood and skeletons while reanimated corpses rotted under the ever increasing temperature. The approaching summer heat was the only recognizable feature about this now infected world. It was getting revolting how rotten the people shuffling around below were getting; skin sagged against bones grotesquely and once bloody wounds were cracked and black.

My eyes lingered instead upon the buckets encircled around the rooftop and frowned at the bareness when I bent down to inspect one.

"Kinda forgot to empty 'em in time." Brian said seeing me take notice to our poor attempts to try supplementing our drinking water. It felt like the nights were hardly much cooler than during the day, so with the tiny amounts of perspiration we did actually collect had to be grabbed at the delicate time of the morning before the sun dried it all up. Needless to say, this process was pretty tedious and I could even see Milton's frustration while constantly rearranging the ceran wrap for a better effect while most others, like Todd, had given up on relying on this to last us after the the distilled waters finished.

"Poor Milton. Must've been really out of it to not pick 'em up today." I was unable to suppress a smirk that insisted creeping up at the memory of how wasted their doctor had gotten last night; it was nice to see him less jittery and not so high-strung all the time.

I could hear a chuckle echo over from Brian's end. "Yeah, Phil said Nick wasn't too pretty either after we went to bed."

"Can't say I woke up feeling too peachy either," I mumbled. Keeping my hands occupied, I went to check the ties of our makeshift distress sign to avoid looking at the taller man. But thankfully we continued on together in silence; it wasn't exactly comfortable but Brian seemed to keep things casual enough that it wasn't awkward either. I found I liked this quality about the younger Blake brother, unlike Nick or even Michael, who could never keep a watch in silence for more than five minutes without needing to fill it with talking, I could allow myself to relax in Brian's presence without feeling the need to grasp at different conversation topics. In fact, up until last night, Brian had become reclusive and withdrawn from most decisions as the span of our time stuck here prolonged. Like me, he was withering under every day that passed and looked ever gloomier.

Eventually, there was so many times I could reinforce the knots tied on the ropes holding the bed sheet down across the rooftop before I resigned to join Brian over the concrete ledge looking down over the streets outside Michael's apartment complex. I scowled down at the ever-moving corpses, wondering when their feet would give out from their non-stop wandering.

"My brother mentioned he tried talking with Nick about what Todd brought up last night."

Raising an eyebrow up at the much taller man that was appreciatively blocking the sun from beaming down too directly from the east, he had taken a pause in looking through the binoculars to glance down at me.

"I think he's getting just as restless here as your boyfriend."

"Well look at our water," I offered. I didn't even agree with Todd but I found myself protecting his ideas. "We've got a week- maybe two if we start rationing more than we already have. What happens next?"

I couldn't help but extend my foot out to nudge one of the closest empty buckets and Brian nodding slowly, his eyes downcast in deep thought.

"I just honestly can't imagine any way that wouldn't put anyone's life in danger if we go down the other floors," he finally said, carefully like he was unsure how I would react.

Too exhausted to debate, physically and mentally, I resigned to just nod my acknowledgment, because he did have a perfectly valid point. We both took up silence again, he didn't continue to urge his concern and I didn't persist to prove Todd's ideas. It was actually refreshing to be out in the sunlight, almost alone for once, with the space I needed to clear my thoughts before the rest of the day. I hadn't seen exactly who had come in the room after my nightmare, but I'd heard enough voices and something about the air between us hinted that Brian at least heard what had happened. Yet he was kind enough not to bring it up on watch and I appreciated his courtesy not to discuss last night.

It wasn't too much later that it seemed Neema woke up. The woman shuffled in and softly put down the pots she'd carried in with her, keeping herself quiet not to wake any of the others down the hall I suspected were still knocked out. Everyday Neema wore that godforsaken scarf over her head and around her neck I felt myself growing increasingly exasperated with her. I was unable to relate to her, but that didn't mean I hadn't come to like the woman and her quiet interjections, offering reasonable suggestions- so I knew she has quick witted. But why any reasonably sane person would walk around with long sleeves and scarf practically wrapped around their whole face in almost a hundred degree weather. While I had snagged all the shorts and tank tops I could from all the clothing we'd gathered from the apartments, Neema had found a pair of white pants and had taken to consistently wearing them. The same went for her button up white blouse she seemed insistent in wearing against my attempts to at least get her to wear a goddamn shirt and let her arms breathe. The woman had a crazy heat tolerance. Pulling her dark scarf up like a shield from the sun, I saw her eyes crinkle over at us and I recognized she must be smiling over at us.

"Good morning," she greeted softly. "I would have gotten up sooner but I'm afraid that wine exhausted me."

Brian and I grinned back a knowing concurrence, remembering Milton hadn't been the only one to loosen up last night.

I was temporarily left with the binoculars when Brian hurried out to one of the apartments furthest down the hall but conveniently closest to the roof where we kept the furniture we'd been gradually tearing apart for fires. It was with reluctance that I took up watch alone, but at least it was something to do to keep me busy from having to see her inquisitive glances and only listened to her sort through everything she'd brought out with her to get breakfast ready.

"Olive?"

I turned and put down the binoculars, looking over to see Neema had stopped to wait on Brian but was looking over at me. After a while, I hummed my inquisition since it seemed she was waiting to rather get permission to continue. I could hear her words but they were so soft and the scarf didn't help, muffling her words that I couldn't make out a thing she said.

"Sorry, what?" I interrupted, squinting over at her crouched down fidgeting with the spice shakers.

She looked back up and seemed to sigh behind her scarf, pulling if down from over her mouth to finally expose her whole face. Neema got up from crouching beside the food to come stand beside me this time.

"I was asking if you would like to join me after breakfast to pick out a few more clothes?"

My instant reaction was surprise, but I hurriedly stifled it to play off that I wasn't relieved Neema was finally willing to switch to more comfortable clothing.

"Course," I shrugged and smiled. "We have a few bags of clothes we separated from the guys' we could give another look through."

"I'd like that." Feeling myself almost enthused about the idea, already thinking over the clothes I remembered seeing that I'd passed over that Neema might find better to her liking.

Brian returned with two tall stool-chairs, a lighter, stacks of newspaper we collected, and a hatchet we'd found from someones tool boxes. Over the past month, most of us had become pretty good at starting up a fire, thanks to Todd who knew from being such a camping guru
and taught the rest of us, though there were the few preferences, discluding Milton and I in particular who simply flopped at keeping one to stay on for longer than a few minutes. But Brian did just fine as we patiently waited while the man went to hacking away at the thin wooden stool legs that didn't need much to dislodge them. Not a muscular man in the slightest, Brian was skinny and in fact almost reminded me of a boy's body if it wasn't for his towering height, but he certainly didn't seem to be struggling to separate the chair legs. Due to the heat of the day already beginning to rise, the poor guy worked up quite a sweat after finishing the second chair and swiped at his sandy hair stuck to his forehead soaked from sweat. Once he was finally able to efficiently start the fire, Neema placed her bucket of water over so it would boil and poured the pasta linguini inside to begin stirring.

I asked out of politeness if she wanted any help, but since I burned our last pack of rice (and almost started a fire on the roof when I unthinkingly poured water to try putting out the small flame, forgetting there was oil in the pot which caused the flame to flare up even huger) Neema tended to decline she needed assistance.

"Need more than just drinking water," I poked fun at the guy's sweat stains already forming under his arms. "Bathing should be up in the top priority list. You guys're getting gross."

Brian looked up from trying to crinkle and ball up more newspapers to feed the fire and arched an eyebrow over towards me while Neema just grinned between us. One would almost think it was in fondness.

"I'll make sure to pencil that in." Smirking at his sarcasm, I turned back to Neema to leave him to get the fire going and saw she was pouring some water into the pot she'd brought and was waiting for Brian before tearing open a linguini's noodle packet. Yay, more noodles. It seemed like that was what was left after burning through all the rest of the groceries, but I tried not to complain and be grateful it was something still.

Philip and Penny were the first to reemerge from the apartment. I noticed amusedly how the little girl's hair was brushed up into a rather bumpy ponytail that was practically tied on the top of her head and noted I'd offer to fix it for her later. At least the poor guy was trying, I thought to myself, remembering many weird, scraggly ponytails of my own growing up from my own dad until Nat and I eventually just did our own for each other. Penny right away found her uncle, hugging onto the back of the tall man's legs to earn her a ruffle through her hair when Brian turned from his scanning to greet a good morning to his niece. I noticed Brian's smile was much brighter when it was for her. Philip approached us as well, stifling a yawn into his hand for a moment before greeting us.

"Anythin' new?" he asked.

After yawning too, the younger brother shook his head indifferently. "Same 'ol same 'ol."

Nodding, he looked down tiredly himself for a few moments before breathing a soft, slow sigh. I'd been trying to stifle a contagious yawn of my own behind my hand while I stretched when his gaze finally turned away and down at me, stopping me mid-stretch.

"Ya'lright?"

I sighed, feeling the heat rise back in my cheeks as I nodded. His empathetic stare didn't comfort me in the least, only making me feel like a bigger idiot for waking everyone up in the middle of the night.

"Don't worry 'bout it huh?" Rather than linger to get an assurance from me, Philip turned to steer Penny with him to go grab the bowels and more chairs for breakfast. Footsteps came from the stairway and we turned to see Todd squinting as he stepped out from the hallway. Our gazes found each other and I could tell by his uneasy grimace he was hurt waking up to me gone. My eyes flickered away guiltily but Todd's attention was drifted behind him as Michael emerged with a ghostly pale Milton. His hangover didn't seem to show him any mercy against the gleaming sun as he shuffled groggily behind his friend.

"He's alive!" Philip chuckled, causing a few of us to cringe at the volume. Milton groaned while plopping down into a seat Michael pulled up for him, burying his face in his hands to rub at his eyes under his glasses.

"Yes, he might not feel like it for a while, but he'll live." Michael smiled, patting his ex-physician's shoulder. Neema hurried forward with a glass of water, whispering words of encouragement that I couldn't quite hear but Milton took it appreciatively, a small smile twitched across his lips before he winced to thank her.

Breakfast went by quietly for the most part, most of us nursing our own headaches from the previous night of drinking. Knowing it was all from dehydration, I distributed cups of water out to everyone while we waited for Neema to mix in the Alfredo sauce to go along the linguini noodles. Unfortunately, Milton hadn't been able to even keep water down for too long before he was bent over one of the empty buckets, throwing back up any fluids we'd tried getting hm to drink. When I offered up Todd's cup, a heavy tangent air hovered between us, lingering me longer than the others. As I was about to withdraw my hand and resume distributing glasses , he gently tugged my hand back and stilled my retreat until I dragged my eyes to glance up to sheepishly meet his gaze.

"How you feeling?" he asked, his eyes imploring me for an answer I knew wasn't just in concern about my hangover.

But I pretended and shrugged. "About the same as everybody else."

Luckily it didn't take Neema too much longer to finish and we all resumed to seat ourselves amongst each other, a habit we'd grown into ever since our first meal on the roof. It was a close margin between the apartment and outside were hotter. Thank goodness Nick and Michael had come up on umbrellas a week or so ago, so with the shade and Georgia's small but appreciated breeze, some would say it was more relieving to be outside when you got past the persistent stench of rotting flesh cooking under the sun below us. Huddling under the beach umbrellas, we passed around servings and when Neema's pan was passed to me, I shushed my growling stomach and served myself a conservative amount. I'd seen how low we were getting on food a few days ago and couldn't help but feel painfully conscious about how much was used.

Considering Neema had reserved herself and only drank sparingly last night, she felt better than most of us and had finished her food in a timely manner. Unlike Todd, who didn't seem to have much of an appetite as picked at his food and every so often stopped to breathe back his nausea no doubt. Milton dry heaved at so much as the smell when the linguini was passed, so we reserved to save him and Nick a portion for later. But that definitely wasn't my case, since I'd already been sick, I couldn't wait to shovel down the sauced noodles to ease the famished growls vibrating off the walls of my hollow stomach. Most of us remained quiet throughout breakfast and I was especially suspicious of Todd's lack of conversation, especially when he didn't take to joining most conversations of Philip or Michael tried to start flop while the rest of us were too tired from last night. It surprised me to see her sit up and approach me.

"Shall we go look through the clothes?" She'd asked so quietly, as if timid about other people hearing she was having desires to change into more comfortable clothing. I attempted to act indifferently to keep this casual, though Todd had to spoil it my looking up shocked at the poor woman.

"Sure, I'm supposed to be taking Nick's for watch right now..." I hadn't expected her to be so eagered to go clothes sorting so soon. After so long of relying that the guys would find a rescue eventually, I felt guilty they were resilient after so long and tried to incorporate myself more fairly into their watch rotations.

"I got it," Todd interrupted. We'd discussed Neema's attire to each other before and I knew he must be equally pleased to hear the woman was willing to accommodate herself more agreeably to the heat. "He was taking my watch anyways."

I was already opening my mouth to protest before he shook his head, shooing me away decidedly. "Go."

Reluctantly agreeing, I was a bit surprised Todd was encouraging me off instead of trying to drag me into a private corner to pry about last night, so I took advantage and sat up to go follow Neema to wash our bowls out.

"What's this about clothes?" As we were about to duck out back to the apartment, we turned to see Philip was looking inquisitively after us. So much for being discreet.

Saving Neema the trouble, I answered for her. "Just gunna go look through some of the clothes bags some more."

"Mind if we go with ya'll?" Our faces must've looked confused as breathed out a tentative laugh before adding quickly. "Penny could use a little more is all, and I've never known how to shop very well-"

"It's cool Philip," I assured to quiet his rambling. "I'm sure there's at least some shirts she could wear."

So the both of us trailed back into the hall, with Philip and his little girl following after us after Philip wiped their bowls out. All was quiet, and when we passed through the hall and I observed the stacked furniture still blocking the stairwell and intact. There was no way I could imagine tampering with that barricade that we were so lucky to still have intact, just thinking about Todd's idea to venture down into the other floors sent my stomach to clench in knots. I wasn't sure how the others felt, but we were silent our whole trip down the hall until we were closing Michael's apartment door behind us.

To save the room in the already crowded front room, the guest bedroom Todd and I had taken to sleeping in also stored the bags of clothes we'd collected from Michael's disappeared neighbors. We'd separated the woman's clothes into their own bags and the guy's clothes into a few others, making it easier to pick things out much easier. It was awkward to see the guys plucking through bras and panties and Philip had expressed he wasn't comfortable with his daughter sorting through boxers and briefs either. Being rather heavy bags, Philip helped Neema and I haul them up on the bed so we could begin searching through them.

Pulling out a few pants that had been on top, I quickly tossed them aside on the bed to pull others, pretending to ignore Neema's inquisition to see them considering she already had a pair and refused to contribute to anymore. Finding a pair of jean shorts, I held them up suggestively, but more as a joke since I seriously doubted Neema would allow herself to show so much leg in shorts. Seeing my jesting hadn't exactly lightened her shock at what I showed her and quickly laid it back down to find something more suitable before I scared her off. Instead, I pulled out a pair of white capris that seemed like they could fit Neema.

"What about these?" I asked, unfolding them to hold up to her waist to measure their length on her. "C'mon, can't your ankles breathe?"

Neema smiled tentatively but didn't seem to blanch so uncomfortably at these pair of capri bottoms which I took as a good sign.

"Yeah Miss Neema, aren't you hot?" Penny added. Philip coughed and placed a hand on the little girl's shoulder, signaling a silent warning between the two as if they were addressing a topic already discussed.

"Well she won't be for long," I interrupted, saving Neema the trouble with a reassuring smile to lighten up the situation.

We shuffled through the bag and sorted maybe's to no-ways, but I soon began to see a pattern of white among Neema's choices. I found it odd, but didn't protest when she agreed to a short sleeved blouse I suspected she singled out for its color. Meanwhile, we tried out best to make a little fashion show of Penny's wardrobe who didn't seem too enthused about trying on any clothes we suggested for her. The girl didn't complain, but hardly showed anything of much other emotion and I could see Philip squirming under the pressure of trying to encourage his daughter to pick practical clothing. I couldn't help but soften towards the poor girl who I suspected might be going into some kind of shock. Children coped much differently and I couldn't help but feel miserable at seeing her so silent and reclusive; I could only imagine how Philip must be trying to handle his daughter's numbness. But despite her quiet demeanor, I could see she favored a few of the floral print girls' dresses we'd found. They weren't exactly practical, but I don't think her father had much heart to tell her no and allowed her to try them on. Of course, they fit her loose but that didn't seem to bother her in the slightest, so we all gushed over how beautiful she looked and allowed her to try on a few more under the condition she tried on shirts and shorts after. While we waited for her appearance from the rest room, we continued sorting through clothes until I came across a particularly long, thin scarf. It was leopard print with a few roses dappling the pattern, but the material was polyester and felt much lighter to wrap up Neema's hair in than the thick, sun-absorbing black cloth of a veil she wore.

"Hey Neema?" I inquired, holding up the material and picked up my own curtain of hair to help her guess what I meant it for since her guess turned from quizzical to apprehensive. "Dear god, woman. If you wear that thick heat-rag another day, you're gunna give me a heat stroke."

She seemed reluctant to try on the new head scarf and Philip cleared his throat a bit hesitantly before he smiled understandably towards us. "I can turn around? Ain't gotta see nothin'."

Holding up his hand in mock surrender, he turned his back on us to just stare towards the door to wait for Penny to come back out. He remained adamant to remain completely turned from view as he leaned against the door frame to give Neema her privacy. Wriggling my fingers for her to come hither, she eventually sighed and nodded with a nervous glance at Philip before she followed my beckoning and slowly slipped off her veil. I was astounded that rather than see the dark flow of hair flow out from under, her hair hung shaggily just barely past her ears and stuck to the back of her sweat-soaked neck. Her miles of black hair I'd rarely caught a sight of underneath her head scarf was hacked almost completely off. I couldn't help but gasp in shock, startling Philip to turn around quickly to see what had alerted me before being stunned himself at Neema's bare appearance. I hastily assured him to turn back around before gaping at the woman.

"Oh- your hair? Why'd you cut it so short?" I hadn't meant to embarrass her- it's just, her hair had looked so natural and beautifully long, and now with it so short it made Neema look much older somehow.

Her eyes were downcast for a long time before she replied in a shamed whisper. "I should have shaved it...that is the 'vay in my culture, but I find I am much to vain." I didn't know what to say to that and she must have known I was lost to her reasoning before she added quietly. "Widows remove their hair after the loss of their husband."

Nodding slowly, I wasn't exactly sure how to respond. I couldn't help but feel terribly sad for Neema; she'd lost her whole family and now hacked away her long locks as a very harsh reminder.

"I am to pledge myself only to God now," she replied softly and ran her hand over her pile of white clothing I knew couldn't have been an coincidence. "Vedic traditions would require I wear white and be cast as a sudra."

A part of me wanted to hurriedly change the subject at how uncomfortable it made me. But I couldn't stop all the questions bubbling from within me that stemmed from my own doubts of faith.

"Well Neema..." I paused for a few moments trying to gather my thoughts to express them. "I don't think it makes a difference to anyone here what you wear. And I don't think God cared about what any of those people were wearing who're dead now."

I bit my lip and realized I'm worded my thoughts terribly. It was horribly insensitive and I was about to apologize, but Neema's gaze didn't seem put off or offended. Instead, she almost looked understanding as she even offered a very small, sad smile.

"I understand how you would feel that 'vay-"

"How about this?" We were startled when Penny quietly came from the room in a long pastel purple dress with a heart-shaped neckline where it would support a bust, but instead fell limp and low on the flat chested little girl. I had almost forgotten Philip had been standing there and must have heard our tense conversation, but Neema and I were both relieved for a moment to giggle at the mature dress she had attempted to wear.

"Penny," Philip sighed from the doorway. "That's much too grown up for you sweetheart."

I couldn't help but stifle a small laugh at seeing how this short, knee-high dress almost looked like a sundress on Penny.

"You look beautiful though hun." Penny smiled softly up at Philip and didn't seem too put off her rejected her dress. "C'mon now, let's go try those shorts on Olive gave ya', an' hurry up now so someone else gets a turn." I noticed Philip still hadn't turned around but kept his view on his little girl in the doorway he'd moved out of the way from to allow us to get a look. However, Penny was looking right towards us and her eyes widened.

"Ms. Neema you got a hair-cut?" she gasped. But the woman only smiled and nodded her head to assure the little girl.

"Go on Penny," Philip interjected cautiously, urging to girl back to the bathroom to finish trying on the clothes we'd picked out for her. While Penny went back to change, I beckoned Neema closer so I could start sizing up how I would wrap up her head the way she'd done with her other one. She allowed me with a weary sigh, but inclined to let me bundle up the little hair she had left to put up in the new material, wrapping it under her chin to mimic her other scarf and draped it over her shoulders. She looked up skeptically at my wrap, but turned to the mirror and admired it silently for a while. She adjusted it a few times to cover more of her hairline and hid her ears, but seemed to not entirely hate the idea of a new head scarf that wasn't so black and absorbed heat. If I saw a woman wearing such a print before all this, I might have snorted but we didn't have too many fashion choices to work with, under only the charity of whatever clothing had been left behind by the former residences.

"Not bad," I told her earnestly, smiling at her through the mirror. "Huh Philip?"

The man seemed hesitant to turn around and Neema looked utterly bashful under my praise, especially under the other man's stare, but I figured she should start getting used to men's attention considering we were living with six of them rather than hide below rhe radar like she was accustomed to. The man glanced over at us and a small smile waned across his lips as he nodded an agreement I was looking for.

"Not bad at all," he said lightly, and I admired his complete chasteness.

It wasn't long before Penny came back out in the pair of purple shorts and a Roxy shirt that seemed to hang a bit long on her but I suspected the little girl who's clothes these were had been a bit older than her. I had speculated that the family these belonged to had a little girl and an older teenager when Philip had told us about the woman and girl's clothes he got for us when sweeping the apartments. It stung to shrug on any tshirt and button or zip up pants we had looted, but considering we didn't have much to bathe ourselves with, we needed as many change of clothes as we could get. Penny tried on a few more similar outfits that Philip assured she'd grow into before I urged Neema in to try on a few more clothes I'd helped her pick.

Philip was about to retreat with Penny as I waited for Neema to come out, informing me that he'd keep watch in the hall. I guessed he didn't want to impose anymore uncomfortableness on the sensitively modest woman so I assured him we'd be fine and ushered him off.

But as Philip was about to close the front door behind him and Penny, a very loud and distinctive bang echoed from the hall and from out Michael's window. I felt myself freeze and the door froze ajar as Philip seemed just as startled. There was a moment we all looked at each other, Penny's eyes were wide when the next moment her father snapped to his senses to take her hand and beckoned me to hurry and follow. Calling out to Neema, I was about to knock on the door for her to hurry out but she had already opened the door and was staring just as frightened back at us. Wordlessly we wasted no time as I grabbed a hold of her arm and pulled her after us to run back out into the hall to the roof. We ran into Nick who must've woken from the piercing crack and was also rushing to see what was going on outside as well. Blinking away the bright glint of the outside, we rushed to the roof's ledge where everyone had crowded towards to look down into the streets below. I gasped to see what was the commotion happening below.

A small group of people had attempted traveling into the city by the looks of it and their vehicle they had driven in with was now completely mobbed with the dead. We heard plenty of people succumbing to the dead, but never so close to our building let alone right where we could see. My breath caught in horror at seeing the people who had abandoned the blocked car were scrambling to flee the dead clambering crazily after them. A girl attempted to sprint off down one of the nearby alleys since she'd been cut off from the direction the rest of her group had been backing up in, but was quickly cornered and the dead wasted no time and felt no sympathy as they lunged after her, Blood spurted like a torn open fire hydrant as a monster in a business suit tore her neck open while another school-girl dressed body hurried to take the others lead and grabbed onto one of her flailing arms to take a mouthful of flesh for itself. I couldn't stop myself from choking up at the girl's screams torn from her throat and turned to helpless gurgles as the infected sunk it teeth in deeper for another bite, reminding me how Zhao had been killed and turned into Todd's shoulder. Strangely, I hadn't even acknowledged he was beside me until I was already turning into him. Another sharp bang made me jump and I couldn't restrain myself from looking back down to see that they were coming from the group, from a woman more specifically, who was now shooting off rounds to defend off herself and a few others who had scurried behind the gun's protection. But more dead were flooding the streets by the second, the gun might as well serving as a beacon for every mobile dead in the city.

"Fuck man, they're goners-"

"We've got to do something!"

The rest of us were biting our nails at the massacre about to unfold below. Todd's presence had suddenly disappeared as I turned in shock to see him and Philip drawing their guns and without any debate began firing down shots to help the first group of survivors we've seen. A man with a hammer had been helping protect the other three took out a few rather admirably until the infected jumped on one of the woman while he was distracted bashing through the cranium of another infected that had tried to go for the woman with the gun. The lady dropped the knife she'd attempted to slash at it with, shrieking now in agony as it tore at her clothes, managing to shred her shirt as it shook it's had like a dog trying to play tug of war, ripping through the fabric and into her shoulder. The hammer-wielding man exclaimed in abhorrence and ran back to whack away the corpse, impaling it through the side of its skull with the pry-like side, my stomach rolling in disgust when he yanked it back out to splatter blood and spill brain matter across the cooking Atlanta street. Like locusts, the dead attacked the woman's flesh, burying her under their own decayed bodies to leave nothing but a crowd tearing out organs to madly distribute throughout the starving. The group could only leave behind the very far-gone woman, the man staying to wildly swing at the dead ripping a member of his group but to only be ambushed from behind when he raised his arm to bash the attacking dead from the front and grabbed by another from behind to rip a chunk from his forearm. The woman attempted shooting off the infected gnawing on the man's arm, but too many were now clambering to get their own bite of his flesh in their starvation. Now with his blood in the air, all hell broke loose and he was rapidly buried under the mass of dead to be devoured. Another boy was swinging what looked to be some kind of gardening hoe, running alongside the woman wielding the gun and frantically swinging back to try keeping back the dead. The poor kid was clearly petrified while another girl beside him was screaming and clinging tightly shirt. With the group reduced so rapidly in a matter of seconds trying to flee on foot, the woman fired off shots to uselessly ward off the numbers of dead vastly approaching and with no one to cover her, I saw an infected man making his way as fast as he could limp from behind her and the closer it approached she still hadn't taken notice. About to cry out for her imminent demise I saw coming, a shot beside me made me jump and I looked to see the shot had come from Todd's pistol this time. I turned to look back down and the corpse was put down by Todd's well-aimed shot while the woman was looking right back at us this time, spotting who had just saved her.

"The fire escape!" Michael tried hollering down, much like he had to us the day he'd saved us. All of us joined in hollering and pointed to indicate to make a run for the metal stairs that had still been left hanging from when we'd pulled it down in our own haste. She seemed to get the idea as she all but dragged the screaming and sobbing girl, shouting at the boy with them as they made a bolt for the metal ladder while she shot the dead in their path.

Todd and Philip both took out the dead chasing after them, providing the group cover and a chance to make it to the fire escape. I had been beside Todd as he shot off the infected on our first initial escape through Atlanta, but looking at him so concentrated and firing off shots from his pistol, barely flinching against the force behind of the handgun's recoil as he fired of rounds with deadly precision with Philip, who seemed to just as accurate of a shot. It left me speechless; knowing my boyfriend liked to go hunting and camping, that he enjoyed going to the shooting range was one thing, but seeing him handle the weapon with such calm precision as he blasted holes through the brains of infected down below was like watching another person. And I wasn't sure if that left me so breathless because this unsettled me or I admired this side of Todd.

I didn't have too long to ponder on the matter before my attention was drawn back to the remaining three who finally were able to make it through the flocking infected to the side of the apartment complex. The young girl was the first one to be hoisted up by the boy who scrambled up after her, wasting no time climbing after her up the metal ladder. The woman with the gun eventually lowered her gun to hurry and pull her weight up to follow after the other two up the fire escape, kicking away the jaws of one of the dead that had been reaching to pull her back down by her pant leg. She yelled up for the girl to keep climbing who had stopped and held up the boy behind her to ironically scream down for the woman to hurry. Michael and Nick hurried down the hall and we relaxed when we saw their heads poke outside the apartment window to beckon them up to the eighth floor. The girl climbing up first was sobbing rather loudly as she climbed, tears streaking lines down her dirty, ashen cheeks while the boy behind her looked equally as frightened, his eyes wide as he urged her on ahead of him. Todd and Philip kept their guns trained on the dead below that had gathered around the ladder incase any attempted to climb. We were still unsure of the infected's capability from just watching them from a distance on top of a rooftop but they seemed to all be too feeble to pull themselves up after their prey and could only reach up longingly for the living that was disappearing from their grasp.

After Nick and Michael succeeded getting them through the window, we all ran back through the hall and into the apartment. I was startled to be met with a gun pointed towards all of us, Michael and Nick already had their arms up in surrender from having the end of this woman's pistol trained previously on them.

Philip had quickly yanked Penny behind him in the doorway as he narrowed his gaze towards the woman and pointed his revolver right back, outnumbering her when Todd was quick to back him up.

"Woah, hey now- there's'a lil' girl here- put it down," Philip barked, for the first time I saw him look distasteful towards the group who he'd just helped. The girl that had been in tears was now hushed and clutching the woman's arm who was gripping her gun with a slight tremble up at us with a cold silence other than her soft pants of exhaustion. The girl sucked in a loud breath and stared back and forth with her big hazel eyes between the stare down as she was unable to deter her companion. She was young, maybe only a couple years older than my own little sister, with short, bright ginger hair and her clothes were about as dirty as her face, almost hiding her pale, freckled complexion. The woman holding her gun up back at Todd and Philip, looked a stark contrast next to her very petite companion; she had a much fuller figure and looked older, closer to my age, but just as ragged as the rest of her remaining, teenage-aged group members she'd traveled in with. I would never use the word fat to describe someone, but she was definitely an overweight woman with longer, dark black hair and stared back with almost equally as dark eyes. The boy seemed too in shock to have much of a say, his body was shaking and he looked about to go in some kind of shock from witnessing the former people of his caravan eaten alive before his eyes.

"Are you for real? We just saved your asses!" The tense gun-drawn stare down was interrupted by none other than a snapping Nick.

The girl was trying to whisper a plead for the woman to put down the gun as she sniffed through more tears threatening to burst from those wide doe-eyes of hers, but was ignored and the darker haired of the two narrowed her eyes like she was trying to deliberate something about us.

"Who're you?" she all but demanded. I wasn't sure what to reply but the men with the guns stepped forward.

"We're survivors- now you outta' put that shit down first before we chit-chat," Todd hissed.

"I don't 'outta' do nothin'!" she snarled back suddenly and tightened her hold on her gun. I felt incredulous that the first people we see in weeks has us at gun point, sending a frightened chill up my spine at her disturbing caution of us since all we knew was Michael's kindness.

Suddenly, there was a click that echoed through the room. When I whirled around I was stunned to see it was Neema flicking off the safety from what I realized was the little pistol Todd said he'd given her. I gaped as she came forward to stand beside Todd and Philip, training a third gun against this hostile stranger. We ran off so abruptly from her trying on clothes, I hadn't realized she'd bolted from the room in the white capris and matching white cotton half-sleeved blouse. The dark complexion of her bare arms and ankles were a pleasant surprise indeed. Todd and Philip's eyes mirrored everyone else's wide-eyed apallment to see the gentle, conservative woman step forward. I didn't even know if Neema knew how to shoot that thing, but she sure tried to hold it like she did.

"Did you not hear?" the Hindu woman said sharply, his accent thick in her anger. "We have a child. Now put a'vay your weapon."

The woman seemed embittered to surrender her only leverage, but slowly lowered her gun when it seemed she realized we outnumbered them.

"Now, let's just.." Philip breathed stoically and raised his hands in a gesture of peace, "put the guns aside, there's no need for this."

Philip glanced over at Todd and Neema and nodded for them to follow his lead. Neema hesitantly lowered the borrowed revolver, but Todd refused to lower his handgun until the woman placed her pistol on one of Michael's tables and offered up her hands in a silent surrender. When she held up her own hands, I could then notice how intensely she had been shaking and caught her gulp back a shuddering breath. I wondered if Todd saw this as well and finally lowered his own gun. This surprisingly was met with a scoff, turning to see Nick staring in disbelief.

"She just had a gun on us!" he began to protest, glaring over at the woman he returned a vehement scowl right back.

"Please." We were all surprised to be interrupted by the sniffling girl as she hiccuped back what sounded like a sob before clearing her throat to try speaking up. "P-please. We're just scared."

I felt heartbroken for this girl who looked exhausted and just as shaky as the woman who relented their defense.

"There was seventeen of us," the boy chimed in quietly since he'd climbed in through the window. Taking real notice of him this time, I found it ironic how scrawny and timid the boy was who survived when the much bigger, grown man had fallen under the dead. The kid couldn't be hardly over twenty, his skin tanned and his dark eyes gave away he must be some type of Asian- maybe Filipino. "Half of us weren't killed by the dead before we got here."

This stilled us all for a moment and I felt my eyebrows furrow in confusion. People were being killed by something other than the infected?

Milton must have been following my same train of thought as he hesitantly piped in. "What do you mean? Has the infection manifested beyond blood pathogens-"

"He's not talking about anyone infected," the older woman sighed, speaking up at last, her voice sounding husky and scratched. As she was opening her mouth to throw more scorns, she studied us quizzically for a moment. Instead, she retorted slowly, "How long have ya'll been here?"

We all exchanged a worried look between us all before Milton spoke up, "We're uh, going on a month and three week."

This seemed to appall the other three as they shared looks of their own between each other.

"Well you've been lucky," the dark-haired woman breathed. "The world doesn't seem to have many survivors. Just monsters."

None of knew what to say to this. Her words seemed to have the same effect as getting the wind knocked out from me. I wasn't sure how much longer I could stand under the weight of her words and felt myself go into a daze trying to process them. Just monsters. Something about the way the girls shook in our presence sent a haunting chill through me.

"We were robbed on the highway here," the young boy explained. "A lot of us tried to fight back...we thought there'd be a refugee camp still from the broadcasts."

All of us seemed to collectively cringe at hearing about the same broadcast that attracted the rest of us here.

"Well this is the closest thing you're gunna find to a refuge," Brian grumbled from somewhere behind me.

"Is this all of you?" the younger ginger-haired girl asked. "Or-or there's more who made it?"

She was looking pleadingly at us with those watering eyes and I felt awful to be the bearer of more bad news. But it was Michael who stepped forward to take the burden. "I'm afraid not sweetheart. Most people left when we started hearing the National Guard was losing control of the city."

The boy leaned back against the wall, his shoulders exhaustively sagged as he tilted his head back against the wall to shut his eyes and sighed heavily while this piece of information soaked in. This also seemed to pain the other two; the younger girl hiccuped another loud, shuddering sob and turned to bury herself into the older woman, who although shrewd and distrustful as she came off, she didn't bat an eye and anticipated the girl's tears with open arms already. Her body also seemed to sag as she only stared numbly down at the girl crying her heart out into her collar.

"So there's no one else?" the woman whispered, her eyes narrowing at us, so contradicting to the soothing strokes she offered to the crying girl I guessed had to be more than her acquaintance.

"Not that I know of," Michael replied carefully. "I barricaded this floor with the only other person still around...we haven't a clue on the other floors' conditions since."

"But you don't know for certain?" her voice turning abruptly sharp, but Michael held his own under her hard glare. "The other person, was he someone who lived here too?"

"Yes, he was," Michael answered slowly. "But I haven't seen him since."

"What happened? How'd he get out?" I could feel the unease seep from the poor man and started to grow irritated at her insensitivity. Michael had skirted the question once so we had been careful not to push him on the subject.

"He was my neighbor, and his wife had gone to the store earlier that day it all hit Atlanta and hadn't come back in hours," Michael said solemnly. "When everything was going mad outside, he helped me block off the staircase... he couldn't bring himself to stay, so he left out the fire escape to find her. He was supposed to bring her back."

Everyone seemed to be listening intently to Michael's confession and I couldn't help but feel terribly sympathetic, having an idea which apartment was the neighbors and knew the guys had taken plenty from and had been wearing plenty of clothes we'd acquired from it. Yet Michael had never said a word.

"I'm sorry," the strange woman finally said after a long silence between everybody. She actually showed other emotions besides skepticism as she sounded truly sincere.

"What about the fourth floor?" the girl had lifted her head from the woman's shoulder to look up with a wet face. "Did you know what happened to anyone in 2D?"

"No, I'm sorry," Michael admitted.

"Our parents lived here," the darker haired woman explained. "We've been trying to make it here since the broadcasts."

She breathed a dark chuckle as she gazed around the room. "We were hoping they'd be safe at the refugee camp, but when we saw this... we thought maybe they'd have stayed to hide here."

We all fell into another tense silence except for a thud of metal that fell to Michael's floor as the scrawny boy dropped the garden hoe he'd been using. The poor kid look utterly exhausted and sickly pale as he eased down the wall near the window they'd clambered through, his knees up to his chest
as he slowly sat on the apartment floor. I felt inclined to grab some water for these people about to pass out but the woman distracted us with more inquisitions.

"This place looked pretty intact from the outside. All this time and you haven't checked the other floors?"

I glanced uneasily at Todd, he still seemed to have his hackles raised around the woman who'd just drawn a gun on us but seemed to be intently thoughtful on the first piece of news we'd heard from anyone on the outside world. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head before Philip spoke up.

"We haven't a clue how many infected could be down there so we haven't risked tamperin' with Mr. Coleman's barricade that's concealed us all this time," he explained, defending our caution against her attitude.

"Well I'm going to look for my family." She said it so decisively I'm sure I wasn't the only one startled by it. And it didn't surprise me to hear Nick as the first to protest.

"Hey lady, you think we're just gunna let you waltz in here and take down what good thing we've got going here," he snapped. "We've avoided losing people and we'd like to keep it that way."

It was a harsh stab at such a recent tragedy. I bit my lip as the woman visibly bristled and didn't seem to appreciate this comment one bit. She seemed about to snarl back before Brian stepped in before anymore regretful words were exchanged.

"Cut it out man," the younger Blake brother warned and tried reasoning much more reproachfully. "If there were others, they would've heard us by now. Surely they would've tried reaching out by now-"

"I'm looking," she insisted coldly. "I didn't come all this way- get all those people killed to give up based off just your word."

I was surprised by the bitter venom she snapped at us with, but before I could become too upset aout it, I remembered how many the boy said they'd lost and the ones who were still probably being torn at outside. I reel back my own defensiveness since I could understand where she was coming from. I'd make damn sure I'd scourer everywhere I knew my family might be if I could ever make it so far...

"Relax, I'll leave your precious barricade alone."

At this, even her sister seemed to look at her questionably.

"What've you got in mind?" Todd inquired carefully.

"The fire escape," she replied slowly, still looking deep in thought as she formulated her own plan on the spot. "Like your neighbor. Insteada' leavin', I'll break into the fourth floor's window and get to our parents' place from there."

"That floor could be overrun, you have no idea what you could be walking into," Brian exclaimed.

"We closed the building door, but it's complete glass," Michael informed. "It could be shattered by now."

"So who knows how many infected could be wandering free-roam out there," Nick said and I couldn't help but find myself nodding in agreement.

"Well you shouldn't be the one worrying then, I didn't exactly involve you in this," she growled, her dark eyebrows furrowing contemptuously at Nicks persistence.

"But the thing is," I couldn't help but chime in as the realist. "If something should happen and you attract more up here, the dressers and bookshelves I'm sure can only stand so much. It kind of does involve us."

The woman's hostile glare was then turned on me, I could see her sizing up her opinion of me as she hadn't seemed to notice my presence before giving me a pretentious scoff. I felt myself bristle and defensively felt my own eyes narrowing as I prepared for her argument but Todd stepped in.

"Let's hold up a sec," he hurriedly interjected. "It's an idea- but it could be smarter. If they hear you smashing glass you could get trapped from all floors. Or bring more in from outside if the doors are busted."

"How 'bout if we checked the first floor first," Philip reasoned slowly, deep in his own contemplation that sent shocked looks across Nick and the Blake family's faces. "Get a look at the doors before we go bargin' straight to the fourth. If they're intact then the building might not be as compromised as we think."

"You can't be serious?" Nick blanched. "You want in on this?"

The woman didn't seemed to pleased about this either. "I didn't ask-"

"If you're goin' down I rather help than risk ya'll bringin all of Atlanta down on us," Philip snipped almost dismissively at her protest before turning to square off with Nick. "We've been talkin' about needin' supplies, this could be our shot."

"Seven more floors of food and water," Todd mumbled. I couldn't help but notice Todd wisely let Philip take the reins of persuasion this time.

"Or seven more floors of those cannibal freaks," Nick snapped back.

Everyone was silent in a split decision. Until Milton piped in. "I'm sorry I have to agree. Say the doors are broken. What then?"

"If the entrance is exposed we can't just leave it," Brian said. "You've seen how many there are wandering around out there. We've been lucky and it might just be a matter of time before too many could wander in."

"And like Olive said, if any catch on, what's blockin' the stairs can't withstand a crowd of 'em," Philip said.

"So what? You think you can haul some bookshelves down the fire escape to make barricade number two?" the woman asked snidely.

There was an uncertain moment I watched the others glance amongst themselves as if seeing if anyone had any other ideas.

"There's a clerk's desk in the lobby," Michael thought aloud. "Maybe we could use it to temporarily block the door while we check the other floors."

"Work our way from the bottom up," Philip pondered aloud and I could see Todd had the same edge of anticipation before surveying an eye around the room. "Or we could split into groups? One works their way up from the bottom floor while the other works from the seventh to make sure the infected aren't pushed too far up."

"Avoid a pile up," Todd agreed and looked to the woman who was scrutinizing the guys' plans but hadn't made a protest for some time. "That sound a'ight with you?"

She eyed us up for a long moment and noticed her eyes catch on Penny who was peeking from around her father's legs she was clutching- and then to Michael, who was eying her back compassionately before she seemed to come to a conclusion and nodded slowly. "Can't be picky these days I suppose."

"Y-you can't- Tara we just-" The older woman calmed her panicking sister and hushed her back against her chest.

"It'll be fine," the elder sister confirmed. "We're checking on mom and dad, remember? I'll be fine."

The younger girl eventually nodded sadly, her constant flow of tears still streaking lines down her dirty cheeks and echoed her pleas for her to come back safe. She eventually got her sister back under control before she steered her away at arm's length. "Well, then who's going?"

"I'll go." I felt my heart swell at hearing our oldest member step forward first to help.

"Reckon I'll help too," Philip followed, looking over to his brother and friend who were looking questionable.

"I'll head out with you." Todd stepped up, giving my hand that had been clutched in his a quick squeeze before letting go to most likely avoid my gaping shock.

"Get your head out of your ass man- we're not military here- which might I remind is who we're supposed to be sitting tight for."

There was more upheaval that spewed from Nick while Brian still seemed conflicted, but after a few minutes after being taken to the side by Philip and hushed persuasions, they both reluctantly opted to come down to help since it seemed half of us were set on going. I couldn't believe how fast these plans accumulated and felt dread creep up to clutch at my stomach with a frigid fist at the turn we were heading from just contently drinking on the rooftop the other night. I hadn't realized until they were already agreeing that I had been counting on Todd and Philip to be talked down from such an outrageously dangerous plan- especially now when it seemed the infected were riled bad from the recent activity just outside.

"So we clear out the floors, make sure it's safe and meet up on the fourth floor." I found myself lost in my frantic thoughts until Philip's plan ringed alarmingly through my ears.

Snapping out of my shock, I couldn't contain myself from scrambling up to gasp, "Todd! You can't be serious-"

"Oh get over it!" the woman suddenly shouted over me. "They're distracted outside and we're wasting time with ya'll's bitching back and forth. You said you need supplies? I'm not twisting your arms here."

"I'll go too." We all swiveled our heads to the boy who had remained almost completely silent throughout the whole argument. He still seemed quite shaken from his ordeal from outside, but I saw him touch the older woman's arm for a brief moment as he met her eyes, then to her sister who seemed surprised. "We got this far. It uh, seems wrong, me not being there to find your folks."

There was a long look between the two and I could see the woman wasn't certain about risking the boys life or maybe felt uncomfortable with leaving her sister alone with strangers, but she eventually nodded tenderly to her much younger companions. I wondered what these people had been through together to share such tenderness between each other. But I was much to angry at the bitch for interrupting to care for too long.

"Before we head on out, I prefer not to be runnin' around calling 'hey you' after you all the whole time," Michael inquired, noting it wasn't a rejection like I had anticipated.

"Tara," the woman offered before nodding to the boy beside her. "This is Tim, and that's April."

The rest of us introduced themselves, Todd speaking on behalf for the both of us as I still eyed the dark-haired woman in fury. As they exchanged a few more precautious ideas before they headed out, Brian had to argue with Tara to put away her gun in exchange for one of Michael's golf clubs. She was allowed to take it down by reluctantly agreeing to only use her loaded weapon as a last resort if something should happen and resigned to take one of the putters to the other's insistence. Still seething after being silenced, it seemed Todd knew my mood all too well and was ignoring me standing right beside him looking on appalled at what he was about to do, for this stranger we didn't even know! Bouncing ideas off one another on how to block off the front doors, he was pointedly avoiding glancing back at me, probably reluctant to avoid my astounded glare. Furious and so terrified all at once, I stormed out from the living room to rush out the front door where I could compose myself alone, the mass of my fury becoming too overwhelming to console beside Todd. The roof had been abandoned in our hurry to greet the survivors so the bright sunlight was the only one to greet me when I hurried out from the dark, claustrophobic hall.

I found myself steadying against the rooftop rails. If I looked straight ahead, I could only see the bright, untainted summer sky with a few wisps of cotton-white clouds and the tops of skyscrapers against their baby blue background. The sky looked none-the-different from only a few months ago if you looked straight forward. But with the slightest bow of your head, you could see the city's population was a massacre amongst the streets that were unsettlingly quiet and bare of its usual bustle of running vehicles. There was only the traffic of the uncoordinated wandering of reanimated corpses, and they seemed to collect together in a pile up over those they devoured below. It sickened me to see how they clambered over one another to get their mouths on any part of flesh still left, the intestines and other organs already ripped out and disappeared amongst the crowd. I couldn't even make out the person they were tearing from anymore. Everyone who ventured into these streets vanished under the herd of dead. With all these deaths, there hasn't been a single funeral; there was either nothing left behind of someone to bury or would awake to sink their teeth into anyone to linger long enough for them to transform. I was acquaintanced with the dead's destruction first hand, but I had yet to see them turn like I know Todd and Neema had. I wasn't sure if that was the reason I couldn't bridge the gap between accepting these people were lost. If they still breathed and their heart continued to beat, how was it an infection could erase an entire existence? There had to be someone still inside.

I watched in disgusted wonderment at these monster-like people still in their regular every day clothing they'd died in when I heard footsteps over the growling and wild snarls from below. I glanced over my shoulder to see Todd lingering by the propped open door and offered a small, lopsided grin; a sign he knew he was in trouble. Yet I felt the exasperation I'd stormed off with moments earlier had evaporated and I felt too worried to fight. I didn't smile back but wordlessly allowed him to join me and I could see him grimace at what I'd been looking at. He didn't speak so I started.

"I know this is something we'd have to face eventually," I sighed. "It's just...after everything...Neema's family is gone and I'm sure these girls' family are gone too- and I think you know it too."

Todd made to speak but I hushed him softly with the brush of my hand over his. "Sometimes I can't believe how lucky we were to find each other, and I can't bear the thought of having you taken away after something like that."

I stared down at my shoes at feeling tears welling up in my eyes at the admission my dream revealed to me last night. I breathed, "You're all I have left, Todd. Please don't be reckless with your life."

Before I knew it, familiar arms that had comforted me last night wrapped around me with a different type of tenderness and I buried my tears into his shirt, closing my eyes at the feeling of his scratchy overgrown goatee resting against my forehead.

"I promise, this isn't about being reckless," he breathed into my bangs. "You're all I've got too. I'm looking out for what's gunna hold us together in the future."

"Even at the expense of risking yourself?"

He was quiet about that for a moment longer until he whispered softly in my ear.

"I don't think there are too many options these days without risks, baby."



When the time came, I could no longer stay held in Todd's arms and eventually let him part to prepare himself. Neema was also staying behind and it seemed we were the only ones with weapons to defend Penny and the others if something should go wrong. I almost scoffed at this, feeling utterly useless; Neema even seemed more inclined to hold her little revolver at the ready than I did. The weight in my back pocket felt more like a burden than protection. Milton resigned to stay behind with us, as did April, who seemed much too shaken to head back out. So it was decided that Michael should go with Tara and Tim since he knew the apartment building's layout better than any of us, and even including Nick along to back up the three on the seventh level while Todd and the Blake brothers volunteered to go down to the second floor and make their way to the lobby in case they needed to brace the entrance. All of them equipped themselves with the same blunt weapons they'd used to clear the floor, Tara joining in while Tim already had his garden hoe he'd made it through Atlanta with. However, I couldn't help but notice Todd and Philip hadn't left their guns behind and prayed I wouldn't hear the sounds of gun fire.

So everyone who wasn't going hurried themselves to the roof to watch the other climb down the fire escape one by one to their designated floors. Most of the animated dead were distracted eating, but at the sight of more living flesh climbing down, some watched and grabbed longingly from the bottom of the fire escape, snarling in hunger at their descending approach. It was Philip who reached the building's second floor first and was the closest to the dead that were beginning to swarm. I breathed a deep sigh in relief when it seemed the older Blake brother was able to pull open the unlocked window without having to shatter it, most likely riling up those below even more. I watched Brian climb in after him with Todd right behind, the three men disappearing without a sound before Tara climbed down to the next floor down. Unfortunately, the woman hadn't been blessed with the same luck, making us all cringe up on the rooftop as she none-to-subtly smashed the window with her elbow she'd wrapped up in a rag Michael offered. Nick didn't seem pleased at being with the noisiest group but climbed in after Tara and Michael with only a few grumbles we could hear from two floors up. With more than half of our group out of sight, it was a long, grueling wait. It was all we could do but stare at the infected still distracted below. While some were none the wiser to what was going on in the building beside them, a few others seemed to distractedly trickle towards our building that was making a ruckus of the formerly silent street. I dreaded that the doors were broken and they were walking up on them downstairs without much barrier in-between.

It made my heart drop when all of a sudden, it seemed the intrigued infected were full on making desperate dashes across the street towards the front of the building, or as fast as their clumsy stumbles allowed, their groans turning to yowls as they crowded over each other.

"Damnit," I breathed, pacing the railing, scaling the roof railing to find an angle I could see the entrance from but with little luck. "Something must've happened to tip them off!"

"You think they blocked it in time?" the girl April asked quietly and looking on just as anxiously.

"It doesn't appear like they've been able to get through," Milton said examining over the rooftop himself. "But they're attention seems to have definitely been caught."

And it was true. More were dismissing April's torn apart companions to join the growing crowd that inclined to mindlessly claw for our building, clambering on top of each other to try to push forward. It seemed like ages we were waiting, watching the dead yowl and snarl down below until the point the sun was casting a much darker hue as it prepared to dip below the skyline.

Were waiting too long.

"Something's wrong." April whispered what I was thinking, "They've been too long...haven't they?"

The four of us could only stare speechlessly, considering we agreed but didn't know what to say. My god, what if Todd was being devoured just a few floors below? Catching Penny staring wide-eyed over the rails with us, looking just as horrified, I felt my stomach twist horribly at the thought of this little girl losing her father.

"We have to do something," I exclaimed, gulping back my shakes.

"Like what?" Neema's dark eyebrows jumped up towards her hairline.

"I don't know!" I raked my fingers anxiously. "But I can't just sit here not knowing. We've got Todd's other guns..."

"We 'vouldn't be helping by attracting more to'vards them," she returned evenly. "They've been quiet, we shouldn't lose patience 'vith them."

"That's what scares me," April whispered.

"But that was the plan," Milton urged. "I agree, we need to wait-"

"Michael's clubs," I remembered. "There's still a couple left."

"You can't be serious," Milton exclaimed.

"Well that's what the others have," I countered. "That was their plan right?"

"And what do you intend to do?" Neema inquired, a surprising sharpness directed in her words. "Really think about it? If ve come across one of those monsters, do you really think you can do that?"

I couldn't find the words, or the stomach to lie to Neema. Remembering how last time I embarrassingly froze when the time came to help Brian, I had been too scared to lift a hand to help the man about to get a chunk bit out of him right in front of me. I couldn't. At the thought of bashing apart someone's skull, like how Todd and Philip had, I knew I couldn't and Neema had a point. All I could do was duck my head down in shame at this realization.

However, loud shakes of metal interrupted our moment of silence, causing us all to run to the rooftop railing and peer over to see Michael sprinting up the fire escape, his footsteps loud as he pounded up the long stretch of ladder back up to us. Milton and Neema hurried to run back to his apartment to help the older man back in through the window while April seemed to hang back with me as we were hoping to see the others following. But to my dismay, no one else followed, not even Tim or Tara who were supposed to be together. Without a word, I turned to dash inside and ask what the hell had happened, April already on my tail but was startled when Michael came rushing through the hall before I could even reach the door. I noticed he had a fire extinguisher in one hand and a long, heavy looking hunting rifle in the other as he ran towards the roof's ledge without a word. Slinging the gun by its straps over his shoulder, with both hands, Michael chucked the fire extinguisher with a hard over-head throw as far as he could manage down the street from our building. Before I could ask what on earth he was doing, Michael drew the rifle back up, taking a moment to concentrate and align up his line of fire before a loud gunshot erupted that made us all jump. There was a small explosion down the street where Michael had shot the extinguisher and white fog steamed out, causing the metal container below to scramble around with a mind of its own, the nozzle flailing as it spun with the force of the fog spewing out of its new hole.

I caught on to what Michael was trying to do when a few of the dead began drifting over to investigate the sudden commotion so close by. I ripped my eyes away and rushed over to the man, grabbing his arm with more force than I had expected. "Michael, what happened? Where's everyone?"

Michael's translucent blue eyes looked troubled as he seemed to pause and search for the words to explain, particularly to me, but we were interrupted when more rattling came from below. I could practically feel the weight inside my chest relieve itself when I saw Todd climb out the fourth floor window with Brian right behind. My brows furrowed as I squinted to see what the two men had tucked under their arms, Todd had his bat and Brian with his crowbar, but I felt the railing I was gripping so tightly was electrical wire, my body bolted by the extraordinary shock at seeing both men brandish their guns and aim towards the few infected that hadn't left to investigate Michael's explosion. My mouth gaped and the pressure against my heart returned tenfold as Todd and Brian actually began to descent the fire escape rather than return back up like Michael. No fucking way. Realizing the two men were holding skateboards and shooting down to pick off the crowd, I felt myself shout furiously and whirled around slack jawed at Michael.

"They're providing a distraction Olive," Michael began, his arms raised like one would while trying to calm a panicking animal.

"What the fuck-"

"There's too many down there, they're gunna bring down the whole front if we can't get so many away," he exclaimed, looking over my head uneasily more like he was tell the others as well.

Too horrified to speak, I could only stare and watch Todd climb down with my heart pounding frantically in my chest while I faintly heard April pestering Michael about her sister. Fucking dick, I thought so appalled at this level of selfishness. We had just had a discussion about risk! More gun fire caused me to jump in surprise that it hadn't come from the two men climbing down, noticing out of a few other windows, arms were outstretched and assisting the guys with taking out the dead. After assuring April that Tara was fine, Michael pulled the gun back up to his sight and took aim, joining the others in providing cover fire. My fingers clung around the railing so tightly my knuckles were white, but none of this phased me once Todd was at the bottom, with nowhere left but to jump down. He and Brian were quicker to pick off those close enough to reach up after them, clearing a small spot close enough and I felt the world around me stop as he jumped down. Three were quick to lunge for him and I screamed into my hand that flew up over my mouth. He shot one clean through the head that had been closest, almost on top of him as he was trying to brace himself back up from the fall and it fell abruptly in front of him before he quickly turned around just enough to bring his bat up. Too close to be able to swing, he used it more as a shield to push back the undead man snapping and clawing furiously at him. Brian was able to jump down the next moment and swung out at another that had been about to come up behind Todd, bashing its skull a second time after it fell to the floor to permanently keep him down before turning to impale a decayed woman clambering towards him. Todd was able to kick back the dead clawing for him, giving him enough space to rear up his bat, but a shot rang out and the attacking man dropped before Todd could get the chance. I silently thanked whoever had taken the shot as it gave Todd enough time to bat away another corpse running for him before he began to run down the path the shooters from upstairs were helping create. As he ran, I watched him crouch down before he dropped the skateboard out in front of him, rolling it out in front of him fast enough to jump on and begin kicking and pushing his feet to skate faster down the street. Brian followed right after and the two men were literally skateboarding up the street while shooting those in their path. Crazy sons'a bitches.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing and wondered what planning and thought had gone into this plan to actually convince Brian to join along. Hadn't Philip been opposed to his brother pulling off such a stupid stunt? And what I really couldn't believe that it was actually working. Most of the crowd of dead was now feverently running after the men skating away, leaving fewer and fewer paying attention to our building as they trickled away. When Todd gets back, I'm gunna fucking kill him, I thought as I watched him disappear with Brian out of our view around a building taking the dead with them. If he comes back, a dreadful thought that brushed over my heart.

"The top floors were clear," I heard Michael say, attracting my attention to realize he'd been telling us about what happened. "Philip said the third floor was full of those infected though. Nick had a close call, but everyone's ok."

"But you guys found the apartment right?" April asked. "My parents, were they...?"

I blinked back tears at how crestfallen April seemed as Michael seemed to take too long for a positive answer and eventually shook his head sadly to the poor girl. The citrus-haired girl was sobbing into her hands and Neema was quick to lay an apologetic hand on her shoulder that April practically collapsed into, taking the Indian woman by surprise by turning to cry into her shoulder. The older woman took it in stride and offered her arms without complaint. We stood numbly for a moment, the only sound being April crying until I was startled by a small touch against my hand. Looking down, I was surprised to see it was Penny, not noticing when she had come beside me and my eyes dropped to my hand that I found she had grabbed. My heart ached as I realized she was staring off with tears in her eyes where her uncle had disappeared, reflexively reaching out to find my hand in subconscious need it seemed. Squeezing her hand, her eyes drifted up to find mine and I found myself stretching a small smile just for her. It felt painful but it was all I had the strength to offer.

"They'll be ok," I breathed, not sure how assuring I sounded when I felt just as fearful. But she seemed strong enough to hold out hope and nodded her head up at me.

Michael let April grieve for a while before he told us the others could use our help collecting stuff from downstairs and offered to take April to her sister. I felt extremely anxious, not wanting to peel my eyes away from searching for Todd to return, but Michael informed us they would probably be gone a while since they'd planned to hide well east of the city before chancing to take the streets back, so I joined the others to help distract my mind from all the possibilities of what could happen to Todd going so deep into the city. Everyone but Milton who stayed to keep watch climbed out through Michael's window and followed the older man down the fire escape to the already open window on the fourth floor. Even though Michael had informed us it had been cleared out, I still felt on edge as I slipped through the window and observed the strange apartment. Much the same as Michael's, cluttered with framed pictures and portraits but with navy blue walls, we walked through someone else's life, someone dead, and I avoided looking towards the stink of a corpse bleeding black blood across the carpet we had to walk around in the middle of the living room. In fact, it seemed there were a lot of bodies I had to ignore stepping around to get to the door with the others.

It was dark and frightening trying to move through the dark, much like our floor would look like if we didn't have the roof top door open. Michael seemed to know his way however and we followed him out into the dark hall. Someone must have lit a candle as we saw a source of light flickering from inside an open door down the hall. April bumped my shoulder and ran ahead of Michael as she ran inside the lit apartment and we hurried to follow after her. Rounding the door frame, April had stopped and cast a shadow over the rest of the room behind her. With only a soft gentle hue or orange light, everyone seemed to crowd around in the shadows of the candle's light. Penny ran past April to embrace her father who swept her up in his arms and held her close, breathing soft words into her ear as he stared back towards the center of the room. Peering around April, I saw two bodies lying with their skulls busted open much like the one we had walked past, a man and a woman lying sprawled next to each other and their faces so bloody and caved in they were unidentifiable. But it seemed April knew exactly who they were as tears dribbled down her already soaked cheeks. And so did her sister, who was lying beside the bodies and silently weeping with her body draped over the dead man's chest, her shoulders shaking as she balled the man's shirt in her fists. April's knees seemed to give out as she fell beside the bodies, her hands hovering disbelievingly over the corpses but seemed too lost to actually touch them as she began to lose herself in louder sobs.

The room watched the girls grieve over their parents and I retreated back into the dark hallway. Falling against the wall, I let myself slide down and curl into my knees. Shivering against the wall, I buried my face into my knees and willed the faces of my loved ones to refrain from replacing themselves on the dead lying all across the floor of the dark hallway.

We were all truly alone in the land of dead. And it was by the hands of our gone loved ones that killed us inside the most.

My family was somewhere dead like Tara and April's. I felt it.