Just a Dream

The cold night air awoke him from his sleep and for a few moments he wasn’t exactly sure where he was. A full moon stared down at him from the sky above and the sound of rustling leaves filled his ears. He wasn’t sure how long he had been outside or how he had gotten there in the first place, but it was alright with him. There was something about the icicle-sharp pricks of cold air that pierced his skin that calmed his mind.

He lay there for several minutes before digging a single cigarette out of his pocket and just before he could light it, a not-so-distant voice called out to him. “Andrew, what have I told you about smoking?” The sound of footsteps on cold grass forced him to look from where he was laying. “Everyone was wondering where you disappeared to.”

“Ah, I figured you -- out of everyone -- would find me, Sadie.”

Sadie sat down next to him as he tucked away his lighter. She wasn’t fond of her friends smoking tobacco, more or less because she cared about them rather than she didn’t like it. “I’m leaving for a week tomorrow, you should be spending time with me instead of out here. How long were you lying there anyway?”

“I couldn’t tell ya,” He responded with a light shrug. “All I can say is that I fell asleep for a while.”

“Falling asleep out here in this weather? You’ll catch a cold.” Sadie extended a hand out to him. “C’mon, let’s go inside. I’ll get you some tea or hot cocoa to warm you up.”

Andrew smiled at her. “That sounds lovely.”

The two of them walked silently side by side as they walked to her dorm. While Andrew had so much to say to her, he equally enjoyed the quiet walks that they shared together every week. Sadie often told him to appreciate the music of silence.

When they got to her room, it was surprisingly empty. Andrew expected people to be seeing her off to Europe as it was her last night. “Where is everyone, Sadie?”

“Oh, well, it is 11:00 in the evening.”

“Wow. I didn’t think it was that late...”

She chuckled. “That’s why I went out looking for you. Everyone else was at my sending away dinner but you. I was pretty worried, honestly.”

“I apologize.” Andrew said. “I’d forgotten all about it.” Which was a lie. He knew she was leaving, but for some reason he didn’t honestly want to be with everyone else. He wanted to be alone with her when he said his goodbye.

He was in love with Sadie, there was no denying that. Whether or not she knew about his feelings, Andrew wasn’t sure. He didn’t feel like it mattered much anyway. She was already in a relationship with someone and it was going well for her. It didn’t look like he would get a chance to be with her any time soon.

Despite that, he still had feelings for her and it was probably better to let her know about them than keep it all to himself.

Andrew and Sadie sat quietly for several minutes as the mug she had put in the microwave slowly rotated on the turntable. It was only after she had gotten off of her bed to get it that the silence was broken. “What’s on your mind, Andrew?”

“Oh, nothing.” He responded rather rapidly.

She turned to him with a frown. “You’re an awful liar.”

“I know.”

“If you know, why do you keep trying to do it, then?”

That was a good question. “Honestly, I’m not sure.”

“Then tell me.” She stated as she sat on her bed. “What’s on your mind?”

How exactly was he going to go about it? I still love you? That sounds horrid. He must’ve been quiet much longer than he anticipated.

Sadie was looking at him with a small smile and patting her lap. “I imagine if it’s something important you’ll tell me when you want me to.”

He made his way over to where she was, sat next to her, and lay his head in her lap. Sadie gently ran her fingers through his hair. It was soothing and it helped clear his mind. Her caring nature was what he loved about her the most. No one, not even his parents, had ever treated him kinder.

“You wanna know something weird, Sadie?”

“I don’t think there’s anything you can tell me that’s weird, Andrew.”

“Are you sure? I think this is pretty weird.”

She smiled and tapped the side of his head. “Yes, I’m sure.”

“I’m still in love with you.”

An eerie silence took over the room. It was so quiet Andrew could swear he could hear the boiling water in the mug that sat untouched on her desk. He felt uncomfortable -- the butterflies in his stomach unbearable.

An eternity passed before Sadie responded. “I know, Andrew.”

Andrew let out the sigh he had been holding back. “Isn’t that weird?”

“No. I don’t think so.” A slight pause. “You do know why we didn’t date, though, right?”

“I think so.” He replied.

She took his head in both her hands and made him look up at her. “Then tell me.”

“You thought you’d always be another Hannah.”

Sadie tapped him on his nose. “Yes. If you had gotten over her, maybe we could have tried. Who knows, maybe we might still have a chance. No one can predict the future.” Andrew was about to open his mouth to say something, but she shushed him. “No, don’t say anything. Remember what I keep saying?”

The best conversations are the ones we don’t say a word, but feel like we’ve talked for hours.

They spent the rest of the night together in silence. Neither of them said a single word, but it was enough for them. Lying next to her with his arm wrapped around her waist was something that had only happened in his dreams. With her sweet scent filling his mind, Andrew fell asleep with a smile.

When he woke up the next morning, Sadie had already gone. And he knew when she returned from Europe a week later, things would go back to normal.

It was then reality hit him again, last night would simply remain just a dream.