I Should Go

In the end, it wasn’t so bad. After an abbreviated nap, Kaner was acting much better. To the untrained eye, nothing was wrong. He finished his food, and the second bottle of water. Coach did give him a hard time for being late, despite my attempts to alleviate the situation. Pat didn’t seem to mind though. It was almost like any attention was better than none at all.

Coach didn’t ask if I would be lacing up today; I think he could tell. He didn’t really bug me, I guess I didn’t look like I wanted to be bugged, which was true.

So, once Kaner was safely on the ice, skating laps with the rest of the guys for warmups, I nabbed a cab and made my way over to Logan and Elizabeth’s old apartment. I had some time to kill before I could return home. Besides, I had some questions for good ol’ Logan.

“Hello?” she questioned as she opened the door. Logan leaned against the door frame and smirked. “Well, well, well, Captain Toews... Come to wreck my life too?” Her smile faded as she disappeared into the apartment.

It was weird walking into the apartment, because all I could think about was Elizabeth and the memories we had had in the place, but all that was left was Logan and her belongings. “What are you talking about?” I inquired as I closed the door lightly behind myself. “I didn’t wreck anyone’s life....” I glanced around to see the same living room I was accustomed to seeing, only difference being it was littered with Logan’s various, expensive shoes.

She sat on the couch and shrugged. “Oh, I don’t know... maybe Kaner’s?”

I put my hands on the back of the chair nearest me in the living room. “Funny you should mention that, because I was about to ask you the same thing.” She seemed offended, and I didn’t want to hurt her, but I needed answers. “Look, Kaner’s been drinking... a lot.”

“Yeah. I know.” she scowled at me, seeing where this was headed.

“Would you happen to-” I began in the firmest tone I could.

Logan shot up from her seat, hands balled into fists. She hissed, “No! I haven’t been convincing Kaner to get drunk everyday, and how dare you accuse me of such a thing!” I backed up instinctively. If you saw how red Logan’s face was, especially in contrast to her black hair, you would have been spooked too. Oh, did I mention her green eyes were bulging too?

“Okay! I’m sorry! I just... I wanted to make sure-”

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Yeah... Well he’s been doing that a lot lately... and it you must know, it has to do with hockey... not that you care.”

Okay. Fuck the nice guy act. I don’t care if she’s Nick’s sister, or Ellie’s best friend, or Kaner’s girlfriend-fuck buddy-whatever. After the day I’ve been through, I’m not exactly in the mood to be berated, especially after what I did for Kaner today. “Don’t you dare!” I howled. I stepped forward as menacingly as possible, but Logan didn’t budge. I guess when you’re surrounded by a bunch of dumb jocks your whole life, it doesn’t phase you when they act out. “I’ll have you know I saved his fucking ass today, for the second time!”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah, I’m sure. How did you save him?” Logan mocked, putting her hands on her hips.

I bent down so that we were eye level. “He drove over drunk that one morning he was with you, whether you were aware of it or not, and I kept him at my place until he sobered up.”

Logan glared at me. “You think I’d let him get in the car if I knew he was drunk. He was fine to drive. What else ya got?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Well, today, he showed up at my apartment, clearly drunk, to the point where he was arguing with me about drinking water. Then he just ignored me and glared at his feet... like a child.”

She gave me a quizzical look. “Sounds like him... how do I know you’re not lying.”

“Ask him about it.” I insisted.

Logan dropped her head and laughed. “You actually think he’d tell me?”

I thought harder for a moment. “Call the people at the lobby of my apartment and they’ll tell you they saw me dragging drunk Pat out of the building.”

She stared hard at me, but I just returned the gaze. We stood like that for a while, locking eyes. I could tell she was scanning my eyes, trying to pick up any trace of a lie. I just looked at her, waiting patiently. “Okay, I believe you...” she finally said.

I heaved a sigh of relief. “Great. Then you’ll apologize because I basically saved your boyfriend’s life and his career all in one day. You’re welcome.”

She scoffed, “You can’t actually expect me to apologize... it’s not like you’ve been the best of friends.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “I know... that’s why I apologized to Kaner. That was the only way I could get him to listen to me... and it worked. He went to practice... almost normal, or as normal as possible. He’ll be fine to drive home.

Logan ran her hands through her hair and fell back onto the couch, letting out a loud, long groan. “God.... I don’t know what I’m going to do with this kid...”

I joined her on the couch and shook my head. “Me neither... we have to kick this thing.” I asserted. She sat up and gave me a skeptical look. “Seriously, what is your problem with me? I fixed things with Kaner, okay? I had a concussion and things have been rough but I’m trying to make everything better. What more do you want from me?”

She shoved me forcefully. “Tell Elizabeth the truth.” Logan commanded.

Shit. “W-what?” I sputtered, praying she wasn’t talking about what I thought she was talking about.

“You heard me. Nick told me you lied to her about physical therapy and you’re trying to get back on the ice. He also told me he doesn’t think you’re ready, which makes it even more dumb of you to try it.” I stared at her stern face, searching for some sign of sympathy. There was none.

I rested my elbows on my knees and put my head in my hands. “Logan.... ugh you don’t get it. I am ready.” Goddammit... it was a wonder Elle didn’t know.

“I don’t care. The only thing I care about is Elizabeth. As long as you make her happy, I’m happy. But, this is a stupid move, and I can see it upsetting her... you know when she finds out she’ll be upset.” she explained, voice becoming somewhat softer.

I shook my head. “Well, I came to talk about Kaner, not my personal life so, if you’re not willing to help him, then I’m just gonna head out.” I stood up and made my way towards the door. Telling Elizabeth wasn’t an option. It wasn’t. I mean... it was becoming more difficult now that everyone on the face of the planet knew what was going on, but I couldn’t tell her what was happening.

“Tell her or I will.” Logan said from behind me. I stopped dead in my tracks and spun on my heel. I just gave her the saddest look I could compose, hoping to win her over. Logan wasn’t a softie though, not in the slightest. “I mean it.”

I shook my head. “No. If you tell her, fine, but know you’re dead to me. And as for Kaner, I’ll fix things myself.”

My words were hollow, and she knew that, so when I slammed the door for emphasis, I’m sure she wasn’t impressed. Logan and I were definitely one in the same when it came to stubbornness and getting what we wanted. I butted heads with Logan as much as I butted heads with Nick, but I still loved them both. And I also think Logan knew deep down that, regardless of whether I told her or not, Elizabeth would find out, and I’d have to face her about it sooner or later.

So, considering the argument I had just had, it was no wonder that I was consumed with anxiety on the cab ride home. When the driver dropped me off, I was so flustered I almost forgot to pay him. I walked into the lobby and just stared at the elevator across the room. I don't want to face Ellie. I couldn't. So much was going through my head. All I wanted to do was sleep my problems away. If only it was that easy.

I reluctantly took the elevator up to our floor and walked down the hall to our apartment. Once I stepped inside, I was hit with a wave of smells. I could smell parmesan cheese and garlic and tomatoes. It was so heavenly, I just stood in the doorway a moment to really appreciate it all. "Hi honey!" Elizabeth called, waking me from my trance. I closed the door and walked into the living room where I saw Elle, still dressed in work clothes, lounging on the couch.

"Hey." I greeted. She turned off whatever show she was watching and hopped off the couch. She ran right over to me and gave me a big hug. "How was your day?"

She lightly hit my chest but smiled. "Would have been better if somebody had helped me with the groceries." I stuck out my tongue. "Other than that, it was good." I nodded, not knowing what else to say. Should I just tell her now? No, I'm just not going to mention it, obviously. But maybe- "Well-" she grabbed my hand tightly and guided me into the dining room. "I made you spaghetti, meatballs, garlic bread, and tomato sauce for dinner. I figured you should splurge a little on the carbs since you've been working so hard."

We stopped just at the edge of the room to see the dining room table covered with a plethora of food, not to mention a glass of wine at either head of the table. It was a sight delicious enough to make anyone's mouth water... And I don't deserve it. "Looks great!" I enthused in the most excited tone I could muster. The guilt was piling higher and higher.

"Tastes even better." Elle giggled as she took her place. When she noticed me still standing in the doorway, she gestured to the seat across the table. "Sit!"

I gave her a small, guilt-ridden smirk and took my place. "Really, thanks for cooking tonight." She waved the compliment away with a smirk as she tucked a strand of her light brown hair behind her ear.

"So how was your day?" She questioned.

I shrugged as I shifted anxiously in my seat. "It was alright..." Elizabeth eyed me for a second or two longer than usual. Trying not to keep her attention, I dished up my plate with some noodles and meatballs.

"You sure everything is alright?" Elle pestered. I nodded and gave a grin as I stuffed my face. She let out a long, hearty laugh that shook the table. I jumped as her giggling broke the silence. I just stared at her, wild eyed. Great. Not only did Dr. L keep me from hockey, and not only did Kaner give me a hard time with his drinking problem, but now my girlfriend is going nuts.

"Uh... Are you okay?" I asked, putting the food down. I folded my hands and put them on the table, legitimately concerned now.

Her smile only widened, frightening me more. "You know, Jon, you're a pretty good liar... But I know you all too well at this point." she explained as she took the napkin from her lap and placed it on the table. "So... I know you're lying." She slammed her hands on the table for emphasis; the smile that once resided on her face was replaced with a menacing glare, one that sent a chill up my spine. Elizabeth slowly stood up and made her way gradually around the table towards me. "Now... I'm going to ask you... one more time." she breathed quietly. At the point, she was gripping the back of my chair. She bent down near my ear and asked, "Are you sure everything is alright?"

I gulped hard. I couldn't look at her, for fear that if I did, I would cave in; instead, I just stared straight at the window across the room, my eyes unwavering. "Positive."

She shoved my chair enough to make me rock and almost fall out of it. I gasped as I tried to regain my balance. I looked up to see Ellie storming away towards our bedroom. "Elle, wait!" I hollered. I shot up and ran right after her. "Wait-just wait! Tell me what's going on-" I began, trying to feign innocence still. I think it's pretty obvious this playing dumb thing is coming to a sad end.

Elizabeth turned on her heel and pointed a finger in my face. "Like you don't know!" she screeched. I backed up, immediately feeling threatened. I had never seen her so pissed, and we'd been in our fair share of fights in the past. I frowned and only waited for more berating... I did kind of deserve it. She gave me this sad sort of smile and dropped her arm to her side; she hugged it closely with her opposite hand as she glanced down at the ground. Elizabeth let out this mangled, hurt laugh. "Imagine my surprise when Nick tells me my boyfriend, who just got his second concussion in two years, is trying to go back to hockey."

I dropped my gaze, unable to look her in the eye. The guilt had only begun. "Elle..." I whispered, inaudibly.

"I thought, 'No, not my Jon! He would never!' So, naturally, I erased the thought from my mind." Elizabeth let out a strained, fake laugh. Startled, I glanced up to see her glaring at me. "But I couldn't. I had to know if it was true. So, I called the doctor, and, what do you know? He said the same thing." I clenched my jaw. I know it all hurt her, but I think it hurt me more seeing her, hearing her recount the story. I could almost see the trust I had earned floating out the window, and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it from escaping.

"Elizabeth-" I began, a little louder. I couldn't take it.

"I'm not finished!" I fell silent, and stiffened, forced to listen to her story, one I knew all too well. "So, I figured I'd give him another chance. I'd cancel his appointment, and leave him hanging, then he'll get worked up, confused, and he'll finally look to me for help and he'll break down and he'll have to tell me. He'll apologize for lying, I'll forgive him, and we can move on."

My jaw dropped. She didn't. "Yup... This guy isn't that easy. He still kept it from me, even when it was clear that something was wrong. So, finally, to spite him, I told the doctor to tell him he wouldn't be cleared to play. And if that doesn't make him spill, then it's really a lost cause." She did. I bit my lip, feeling probably the worst I had felt in a while. My stomach was doing backflips, and not the pre-game kind or the post-Elizabeth-kiss kind either. I could feel beads of sweat condensing on the back of my neck.

"The best part isn't even the fact that he tried to convince everyone of our friends to lie to me about it, or how he manipulated the doctor into letting him play-"

I started, "It wasn't like that!" I moved forward, reaching my arms toward her.

She hastily took a step back and finally locked her furious, light brown eyes on me. "Or how he went behind his own girlfriend's back...." Elizabeth continued, tears forming in her eyes. She blinked them back though and kept going. "The real kicker... the real kicker is, despite her ardent requests-" her voice cracked and she stopped talking. If I thought I felt guilty before, I was wrong; looking at her red cheeks, her glassy eyes, her shaking frame, I felt like I would have rather died than endured another moment of looking at her in pain.

"Elle-" I began, moving toward her.

She flat out punched my chest, stopping me in my tracks. "What? What could you possibly say to redeem yourself? Why would you do this-"

"Because!" I interrupted, trying to contain my emotions. I balled my hands into fists, not even in anger, but in sadness.

"Because why? Because why!" She repeated, as she pounded my chest a few more times. Elizabeth gave me one last shove before stepping back.

I tried, "Elle.. Please calm down. I'm sorry I lied but-"

"But what?!" She crossed her arms over her chest.

I stared her straight in the eyes. I was ready to explode. "But I couldn't help it! You don't know what it feels like to hit rock bottom, to have that uncertainty about the future, to look around you and see everyone else doing better while you're stuck, in a rut of fucking nothingness!" I hollered. At this point, I was doubting she'd ever understand.

She was actually crying, but somehow, it didn't affect her voice. Elizabeth glared back at me as she dropped her hands to her side. "Jon... You're living in a nice apartment, you have friends and a girlfriend who care about you... You're worth more money than I could ever hope to see in my life... Don't talk to me about rock bottom because you're not there."

I groaned, "You know what I mean!" I ran my hands through my hair.

"No I don't!" Elizabeth practically barked back.

I was shocked at the firmness and intimidation she conveyed in the few words. We both just stood a few feet separating us, staring back at one another. Both our chests were heaving and our faces were strained in pain. The silence drew on, a horribly awkward and tense one at that. I don't want to yell anymore... I just want her to understand. And that was the thing, she didn't. She didn't know what I meant. This was why I didn't want to tell her in the first place..... And if I could just tell her that without pissing her off, things might not stay as shitty as they were at the moment.

I shook my head, walked into the kitchen and grabbed a six pack from the fridge. I could feel Elle's cold eyes on me as I did so. I walked into the living room and put the beers on the coffee table. Then, I dragged two chairs from their respective corners of the room and placed them each on opposite sides of the coffee table. I took two beers from the pack and handed one toward her. "Let's talk."

Her hands were on her hips as she stared at me with an expression of pure judgement. I waited patiently, knowing what her ultimate answer would be. Eventually, after she eyed me and the beer in front of her, she silently took the beer and sat down in one of the chairs. Hallelujah. I took my seat across from her, hopeful that this could be resolved. "I have some rules here..." Elle shifted uneasily, but didn't say anything; instead she cracked open her drink. I cleared my throat and continued. "Every time you get pissed off to the point of yelling, you have to drink until you calm down. And I'll do the same."

She let out a cackle. "Yeah, at that rate, I'll be wasted in a few minutes. Plus, I don't think you have enough beer to calm me down considering-" her voice started getting higher and angrier and I just gestured to the drink. Ellie rolled her eyes, but she ultimately drank. I smirked back at her as she finished. "Shut up."

I shook my head. "Okay... So, please hear me out. I'm gonna be honest... I'm desperate. And I need to play again. It's not just a want, it's a need. I can't explain it... And I guess I should have told you this before we started dating, but I am a thick headed hockey player and I can't live without the sport."

"Thick headed is right..." she mumbled. I glared back at her and pointed towards the beer in her hand. She laughed, "That wasn't me being pissed off. I was being sarcastic... But I think it pissed you off enough." I scowled at her but didn't move. "Come on, tiger, this was your game, your idea. Drink up!" Elizabeth cheered, a small smile making its appearance.

That was the sole reason I drank, because I saw that the thought made her smile. If I had a chance at making her smile, I was going to take it. I took a swig and she clapped her hands. I rolled my eyes. "I'm sorry I lied... I just... It's like I'm addicted. I can't help it, I need to play. And I literally am like an addict, I'll do whatever I can to get back to it. Even if it means hurting those I care about most."

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Smooth... But not enough, captain. What else ya got?" Elle voluntarily took a swig of her beer.

I took a sip too. "I don't know how else to explain it. I want you to understand but I can't-I don't..."

"Try." she commanded, unaffected by my emotional state.
I heaved a sigh and ran my hand through my hair. "It's my life! I don't know how else to put it. I've put so much effort into this sport, I don't know how to do anything else and I'm scared of that! It's all I've got. Without it, what good am I?" It all came out in a rush, and I'm pretty sure half of it was slurred. What I hadn't realized was that I had actually already finished my first beer, which meant I must have taken a big gulp at sometime during my little speech. I reached for another beer because I felt vulnerable for the first time in a while and I wanted to numb that feeling as soon as possible.

I looked up to find Ellie raising her can in a form of a toast. "To Jon finally being honest." Then she chugged her drink until it was done. Once she slammed her can on the coffee table, it shook me out of my vulnerability. She snatched up a second beer and yanked on the tab. "I do understand, you know." She finally said after a while.

I looked up and waited for her to elaborate. Ellie took a gulp and wiped her mouth sloppily with her hand. When she didn't say anything else, I finally spoke up, voice a little crackly. "What do you mean?"

She shifted, leaning forward on her knees. "I get being passionate about something and I get feeling like without that... that thing, you're nothing. But you wouldn't know that because you never asked me. You never bothered to talk to me..." Ellie huffed and took a swig of her drink. I don't know if it was because she was pissed off or because it was hard for her to say that or both.

I pursed my lips. Okay. I'm an asshole. I let my head droop down and I rubbed the back of my neck. "I'm... I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking that- I just wasn't thinking I guess... About anything. I'm really sorry." I repeated. "But tell me now. I'm listening." I insisted, sneaking a peek up at her. She was still visibly upset.

"No. You have to earn it. My trust I mean." Ellie breathed softly before she took another drink. Now she's pissed. "Did you really think I wouldn't find out?" I only shook my head, because I knew more was coming. She tried to control her breathing as she took another forceful swig. "Do you think I'm that stupid? I still don't understand why you wouldn't tell me." I finally sat up straight to look at her and she looked utterly deflated. I hadn't realized how this whole secret thing might have affected her.

"Because I knew you'd react like this." I mumbled, feeling like a child getting scolded by his mother for breaking the neighbor's window with a baseball. She stared at me hard and opened her mouth to protest but I beat her to it. "Don't even lie and say you wouldn't have blown up like you did earlier because we both know that's not true." She bit her lip angrily and took another drink. "Exactly. You'd have flipped out and made me feel bad and pissed off and guilty whether I lied to you or not, and you know it!" I insisted with a laugh.

I actually started laughing pretty hard. The fact was, I was scared of her, scared of my own girlfriend. Not of her beating me or abusing me or anything, but I knew she had the moral compass of an angel while I lacked a bit in that department. "What's so funny?" She questioned.

Maybe it was the booze, but I couldn't stop giggling. "I fear you, I fear letting you down, like you're my mom."

She shivered at the thought and chugged her beer. "I don't mean to."

I sat up and shook my head. "It's not a bad thing, it means you keep me grounded. But, I also know that you can use those powers for evil, making me feel like I've done wrong. At the end of the day, it's my decision, and you have to live with that. You don't have to like it, but you have to support me, because that's what couples do, right?"

"Yeah, but I was never given the chance to support you because you never told me! And do you realize what it would do to me?"

I sighed. "Fair enough, you have the chance now to support me. But you're right, If I wasn't so scared of disappointing you, I should have taken the time to see what you thought-" I began. Was this working? Were we really patching things up? Over a beer? Wow. Why didn't I think of this before?

"Yeah, you should have! Because you know what, the idea makes me sick. I'd be worried every day you went into practice. You don't know the feeling of literally wondering whether your boyfriend is alive or dead. It's hard. It's scary. And I fucking hate it. So why, for fucks sake, would you do that to me? Why would you make it that much easier for you to get seriously hurt?!"

I sat there in silence. I didn't want to see her upset like that again. The most painful sight for her was seeing me in the hospital, but the most painful sight for me was seeing her, crying over me, at the hospital, knowing I'd caused it and knowing I couldn't do a single thing about it. Actually, now I guess I could. But I didn't want to, for my own selfishness.

Whilst contemplating this, Ellie grabbed another beer for herself and tossed one at me. I caught it and put it on the table. "I've been selfish. Plain and simple." I breathed, finally reaching my realization.

"Yeah.." Elizabeth voiced almost inaudibly. I didn't look at her, but I heard the crack of her opening the can, followed by the swishing of her taking a drink.

I stood up and shook my head. "Ellie, I'm really, insanely, painfully, truthfully apologetic and I don't expect you to forgive me on the spot, but I feel, awful about it-all of it, I'm going to make it up to you. And, honestly, you're part of the reason I want to get back on the ice. I know your face lights up when you see me play and... I love that feeling, I love seeing your face after the game because I know you love it as much as I do and... I didn't want to let you down." I confessed. I walked over and kneeled next to her. She was hiding her face from me, I think because she started crying, "Elle."

I reached towards her arm and she wrenched it away, instead wiping her wet face with the sleeve of her shirt. "No." Elizabeth sniffled.

"Elle... Je suis desole. Tres tres desole." I tried, my French accent coming out a bit. She heaved a sigh but didn't turn to face me. This time, when I put my hand on her, she willingly turned to face me. "S'il vous plait? J'etais bête." Translation: Please? I was dumb.

She practically tackled me to the ground with a hug, knocking the wind out of me. Once I regained my breath, I couldn't help but laugh. "Tu etait tres bête." she corrected. Elizabeth buried her face into my chest as she slowly stopped crying, as well as sopped my shirt with her tears. I brushed a few strands of her light brown hair away and gave the top of her head a peck. Suddenly, her head popped up, and she commanded, "D'accord, mais pas de hockey pour toi!" Agh... It's hard to say no when your girlfriend, with red, wet, light brown eyes, looks back at you and asks you not to do the one thing you can't live without... Okay aside from her, obviously, I can't live without her.

"Elizabeth." I hissed, a little more French accent coming out than I meant to. "I can't. We're going to have to agree to disagree on this one..."

She frowned and let her head drop back to my chest, clearly still upset. "Jon!" She whined.

"Elle, are you going to support me or not?" I asked. She flung her head up again and glared at me. "I know how you feel, and you have to trust that I'll do anything for you and I would never hurt you.... Now you can either return the favor and back me up, or you can hurt me and not."

Her response was a quick peck. Just enough of a kiss to let me know she cared, but not enough to make me believe she was behind me one hundred percent. "Thank you..." I breathed. She gave me a sad sort of smirk, and then she went back to nuzzling against my chest.

So, it could have gone a lot better. But, it could have gone worse. Overall. The issue was resolved! Or so I thought... I called the doctor to reaffirm that I was cleared to play. He said he would contact the medical staff at the United Center, my coach, and do all the boring stuff; within the week, I'd be cleared to play, which is what I wanted, right?

Well, unfortunately, Elizabeth heard my conversation with Dr. Lieberman.

"Really? Just like that? Okay... I can wait a few days. Thank you!" I cheered over the phone. I ended the call and slid my cell phone into my pocket, ready to scream at the top of my lungs. Before I could truly celebrate, I heard a loud crash. I whirled around from my spot on the bed in our bedroom. I looked into the hall to see Ellie running in the opposite direction. She had knocked a stack of old books she was going to donate off of the coffee table in her haste. I ran after her, concerned and worried, because I knew why she was running. Before I could catch her, she was out the door.

I figured she just needed some time to cool off, which it turned out she did. Elizabeth texted me later on in the day, while she was at work. "Sorry about this morning. It was just hard to hear. I'll get over it, I promise. Congratulations :)" I knew it was probably difficult for her to type that stupid smiley face when she was furious on the inside.

That was only Monday; I was supposed to be back on the ice for practice on Friday. Things only got worse as the week went on. Throughout the week, I had been going out to the gym to try and warm up a little and get back into the swing of things. First, Ellie conveniently took our gym membership card. I mean I could still get into the gym, but it was made a hassle. That was Tuesday I think.

Next, on Wednesday, which is normally spaghetti night, she bailed and just went to bed as soon as she got home. That was when I knew that I wasn't going to get any real support on this one. spaghetti night is important because its the one night during the week where we make time for one another. We take off from our busy schedules and just make dinner and hang out, no matter how late it is due to work. So, when I come home from the gym and find that Ellie had ditched our evening for some sleep, I was offended. Then, what was worse, whenever I went to lay with her in bed, whether it be snuggling or just lying close to her, she always inched away.

To ameliorate the situation, I brought Nick and Kaner over, figuring that she wouldn't be so cold to me when they were around. Wrong. This is how that Thursday hangout went down:

"So, you coming to the game tonight?" Nick wondered as he made himself comfortable on my couch. I had made an effort to start going to the games and practices when I could, but that was proving to be difficult considering the doctor wanted me to rest up as much as possible before I went on the ice for my first practice.

I nodded. "I'm coming tonight. Coach and the medical staff want me in the press box." I agreed as I tossed them two sodas at the two of them. I sat down in the chair across from them.

Kaner caught the soda and glared at me. I cocked my head to the side, feigning confusion. "Dude, where's the beer?" he demanded, sitting up on the couch.

I gave him a look. "I don't think that's such a good idea bud. It's the middle of the day, you have a game later, and you are driving." I told him honestly.

"One beer?" Pat persisted. I shook my head and he groaned as he cracked the soda open and took a swig.

"Pat it won't kill ya..." Nick mumbled in an annoyed tone. Pat turned on him and glared. "Hey, you know if you keep drinking this much, you'll get a nice beer gut." Nick smirked and patted Kaner's belly mockingly. Trying to make light of the situation, he added "Hey, I don't mind it you gain a few, it'll make me look better, but I'm just saying." So Nick noticed Kaner's drinking too...

Pat shoved him up and sat back on the couch. "You guys are killjoys." Pat crossed his arms and angrily drank his soda.

"We only care about you." I insisted as I opened my own soda. Moments later, Elizabeth walked in from our bedroom. "Hey, babe, how was your nap?" I asked.

She only shrugged. "Fine. I had a nightmare that you got hurt, lied to me and still wanted to go back out and play. Oh wait...." Elizabeth laughed sarcastically. I shrunk in my seat. And now she's calling me out in front of my friends. Awesome.

"Hi Nick." She greeted with a smile. Still in sweats, she leaned over the coach and gave nick a peck on the cheek. "Hey Kaner, how you feeling?" She walked to the other side of e couch and gave him a peck too, which was unexpected.

Kaner, who was too passed off to notice, replied, "I'd be feeling a hell of a lot better if someone put a fucking beer in my hand." He glared at me and drank his soda with a clenched fist. I rolled my eyes.

Ellie really must have been focused on giving me the cold shoulder, because she completely ignored Kaner's rude comment. "It's alright bud. You have a game anyways, right? Got to be in tip-top condition. So, I'll see you guys after the game then?"

They both nodded and she smiled at them as she headed back towards our bedroom. Before she was inside I called, "Hey, hon, are we carpooling tonight?"

She yelled back, "Nope!" And slammed the door. It wasn't exactly a mean tone of voice, but the door slam proved that she was not looking forward to tomorrow.

Kaner cackled, "Damn. Someone's in the dog house." I glared hard at him. "Karma's a bitch. Next time give a man his beer." I rolled my eyes. Like it would kill you to skip a beer. "Besides, Nick was the one who told Ellie In the first place. Blame him."

I looked to Nick and found him giving me this pitying look. I understood why he did it. "We'll, I'm not mad at Nick, because, although it blew up in my face, he did the right thing and he did what was best for me, like we're doing for you."

Nick smiled at my sympathy. I legitimately couldn't be mad at him, he was stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I'm sure, if I was in his position, I'd do the same. "Yeah, so chill, bud." Nick added, patting Kaner on the back. He glared between the two of us and drank his soda in silence, realizing he had lost the fight.

Granted, she could have been meaner, but she was still treating me pretty harshly. However, I put the thought to the side and focused on the game and Kaner. Finally, Nick and I were on the same page at least about one thing: Pat and his drinking. Hopefully, Logan would follow suit and Inge would be fixed with her as well.

Moving on, that night at the game was a huge one for everyone. It was Pat's chance to prove himself hike being sober, it was my chance to prove to my team and everyone at the united center that I was dedicated and ready to play, and it was a huge game for Elizabeth to cover. It was the Hawks versus the Red Wings, and everyone in the city, and in the area, was watching the game.

I knew Ellie was looking forward to it because, despite the fact that the studio provides its anchors with the basic stats, she took it upon herself to do a little research of her own. I had heart palpitations when I saw that stupid red-winged-wheel sitting on the desk in our room, covering the various sheets of information she had looked up. Once I understood the reasoning, I backed off, but I also told her that once he game ended, I'd burn the pages if she didn't get rid of them ASAP.

So, that night, I dressed in a nice suit, and, despite our previous little spat, Ellie and I ended up carpooling to the rink. She hardly said a word in the car.

"So, you nervous?" I asked her with a smile. I stood a glance at the passenger side where Ellie sat, doing some last minute makeup touch ups.

She hook her head, not looking at me. "No." she mumbled as she puckered her lips to apply some shiny lipgloss.

I nodded. "You want to go out to dinner after with Logan, Kaner, Nick and Marisa."

"I don't know if Marisa is going." she sighed, uninterested. Bull crap. Marisa is there every game, just like Logan and just like Ellie herself.

I just kept quiet for the rest of the ride after that. It was no use with her. I was beginning to think that this problem would never truly be resolved. It left me with this nauseous feeling in my stomach and a fuzzy sense in my brain. What's our future if we can't get past this?