Believe in Me

“Where is she?” Patrick asked his friends. They all turned their heads into the direction which Lilly was sitting. Patrick stood there for a moment, feeling like he’d just gotten stabbed in the gut. He knew he messed up when he ended the relationship; he knew it the moment he said “I’m done.”

“Do you know who’s with her?” Brandon asked, turning Patrick around. He was quiet after that, grabbing Nick’s beer and chugging it. “No.” He shook his head. “But I’ve gotta use the restroom.”

Marcus got up to walk with him, since the restrooms were a few feet behind Lilly’s table. He wanted to make sure Patrick would be okay if he started anything. Patrick had no expression on his face, so it was hard to tell if he’d do anything.
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I knew it was him the minute I saw the Bulls hat backward on his head. He walked by Adam and I, talking to Marcus. I gasped a little, I've been caught. I shouldn’t be nervous, he broke up with me. I was quiet after he walked by. I couldn’t quite hear what he was telling Marcus, all I saw was his gray long sleeve and his black Bulls hat, the one he’d always wear to the games we went to.

It took a few minutes for him to come out. He walked out with one hand in his pocket, the other holding his iPhone. I tried not to stare when I saw him smiling and laughing with Marcus. Adam called my name, figuring out what I was doing. I sighed, my face turning toward Adam’s. Before that, for a split second, Patrick and I made eye contact.
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“That’s all? You aren’t going to say anything to her?” Andrew asked when the two guys got back to their table. Patrick took a seat in the extra chair and shrugged, “What can I do? I ended the relationship. I’m not gonna go up to her and make a fool out of myself. If she wants to date already, she can date.”

It hurt Patrick like a brick being thrown at his face when he said that. He didn’t want Lilly to date anyone but him. Is she really moving on? Is this really over? Every so often, he’d glance over to her table. He could only see her from the side, but he could tell it was a date. The two of them were constantly smiling and laughing together.

“How old is that guy? 40? What a joke.” Andrew laughed, pulling his wallet out to pay the bill. “I got it tonight, boys. My treat.”

“Ahh the rookie decides to pay tonight?” Patrick laughed. He could see from the corner of his eye that Lilly’s date had just handed the bill back to their waitress. Every time he tried to distract himself from her, something would make him look their way.

“Gotta live up to the veterans.” Andrew joked. He finished paying and the five men got up to leave the restaurant. They walked to the Valet parking to head their ways. Patrick offered to take Brandon home, so they walked across a row to Patrick’s Tahoe. He had to wait for a black Maserati to pull out before he could get into his car. The car pulled out, and in the passenger’s seat was Lilly.
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“I had a really fun time tonight.” I smiled to Adam. We were outside my door, getting ready to head our separate ways for the night. He looked into my eyes, grinning. “I did too. I’d love to do this again.”

“Yeah, me too.”

“Goodnight, Lilly.”

“Goodnight, Adam.” I told him. He leaned in and planted a quick, soft kiss on my lips.

I opened my door and stood behind it in shock. What the hell just happened?

I walked into my kitchen, throwing my back on the empty bar stool. I didn’t notice who was sitting at my dinner table, I was too in shock by the kiss. Did I like Adam? Sure, he was smart, attractive, kind, and hilarious, but did I truly like him? Could I see myself with him? Could I see myself with anyone besides Patrick?

“Lilly…” my brother said quietly. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. When…why are you here?” I asked, giving him a quick hug and sitting at my table beside Taylor. “I figured I could come visit too when I heard Taylor was coming. She told me about you and Kaner.”

Kaner. He started calling him that when the two of them became close. Landon had always been skeptical about Patrick, but as the months flew by, they grew into friends. “I saw him tonight.” I said, still in awe.

“What!?” Taylor cried, pouring more wine in her glass. “I need something stronger to handle this.”

“He was at the restaurant with some of the guys. He walked to the restroom and saw me with Adam.”

“It’s a little soon to be dating again, don’t you think?” My brother said rudely. “It’s been a little over a week. C’mon, we all know how much you loved him. You guys talked marriage. There’s no way you can move on this fast.”

“I’m trying!” I shouted. “I’m trying to move on for me! Everyone is worrying about Patrick! Well what about me? Huh? Every little thing reminds me of him and I can’t escape it!”

“Well that’s what you get for living in a city he’s huge in.” My brother shot back. I was furious. I felt my face burning and my hands were shaking. “I’m just looking out for you, sis. Don’t make decisions you’re not 100% sure about. If you’re truly ready to date again, be my guest. If you still have feelings for Kaner, then maybe you should wait and see how things turn out.”

“Patrick.”

“What?” Taylor and Landon asked.

“His name is Patrick. Not Kaner. Listen, I had fun tonight. I had a lot of fun. There were no distractions, no fans asking for autographs and photos. I didn’t get dirty looks from other girls while walking down the street. It was different, I enjoyed it. I like Adam.”

“Good, I’m happy.” Landon grinned. “Just stay true to your feelings. One day you might want Patrick back and it could be too late.”
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“Tazer, what’s going on?” Patrick asked, opening the door to his condo. Jonathan stood there in a tee and sweat pants. “We need to talk, man.”

“Is everything okay? Is Rachel back?”

“How’d you know she left?” Jonathan shot out quickly. “She’s not back. I’ve been acting strange lately, I know. It’s not the playoffs. It’s me. It’s my life.”

“You’re kinda scaring me. What’s going on?” Patrick asked. The two were sitting on the sofa, and Jonathan bent over, his head in his hands. He was quiet for a minute or two, and Patrick knew not to bother him. When he lifted his head, tears were in his eyes and he was biting his lip.

“Rachel had a miscarriage.”

“What!? When!?” Patrick asked in disbelief. He felt a lump in his throat and his stomach was turning. He was excited for a baby Tazer. He knew how excited Jon was too.

“A week or two ago. Random cramps one day and she had bleeding. Went to the doctor and found out the baby’s gone.”

Jonathan said, a tear landing on his lip. Patrick fidgeted with his hands, he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know how to help. Jonathan rose from the couch, wiping his face. “That’s why I’ve been acting different. It’s hard, but I think I’m okay now.”

“Are you going to tell the team? Q?”

“Eventually.” Jonathan said, heading to the door. “Let’s just focus on our game now. It’s late, go to sleep. We have skate tomorrow.”
Patrick nodded, following his friend to the door. He knew Jon was still upset, so he wrapped his arms around him, giving his best friend a true hug.