Believe in Me

“Rachel! You’re back!” I cheered, grinning and pulling the blonde into a hug. She stood at my door looking great in a white sundress and a fedora on her head. She was smiling and she looked refreshed, like a whole new person. When I went to her house, she looked drained and depressed, like she had been on drugs for a while. As much as I hated how she decided to stay behind, I was so happy to see her back.

“Back and confused.” She smirked. “Let me in, we need to talk.”
I sighed, opening my door wider so she could walk inside. I’m sure she already knew what happened. I’m sure she talked to both Jon and Pat, and they told her the story. I hoped Patrick didn’t lie about anything. The last thing I needed was a lie spreading about me.

“Okay…what do you want to talk about?” I asked, grabbing a bottle of wine and glasses. “I think you know, Lilly.”

I pursed my lips, “Tell me what he told you.”

“Nothing really. You chose to see other people, basically.” She shrugged, pouring the Moscato into a glass. “He mentioned you’re already seeing someone. Is that true?”

I paused. I didn’t know how to explain Adam to Rachel. I trusted her, but something in the back of my mind told me she’d take Patrick’s side over this. I felt as if she wouldn’t approve, and all I wanted was her support. “His name is Adam. He’s older than me, he’s a lawyer.”

“You like him more than Pat?”

“He’s different than Pat.” I defended. “Can we not compare the two?”

“I just don’t get it.”

“Don’t get what?”

“How you can break his heart like that!” Rachel shrieked. “Lil, you’re my best friend but I don’t understand you sometimes. All of these months you’ve been so in love with Patrick, how did it all of a sudden change? I don’t want to gang up on you, I just don’t get it.”

I felt like I was going to cry. I was angry. Angry at myself, angry at Patrick, angry at Rachel. I didn’t want to explain myself. I didn’t have to. “Sometimes people change, Rachel. That whole lifestyle was new to me and I couldn’t adapt.”

She rolled her eyes. “I still believe you love Pat. You know he loves you. Shit, Lilly. I thought you were the one for him; we all did.”
I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want her to go on. I didn’t need to hear the thoughts about me or my old relationship. It was too much. I felt as if I was being sucked in by a vacuum, back into the past when I wanted to move forward.

“I still support you no matter what.” Rachel sighed. “You know I wouldn’t bail. If you’re happy with Andrew, I’m happy for you.”

“His name is Adam.”

“Same thing.” She chuckled. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders, Rachel's not leaving. “I just wish it would’ve worked out, ya know?”

For a moment, I did too.
__________________________________________

“Go home Kaner, you’re drunk.”

“Johnny, Johnny-Boy, come on! Come out with me!” Patrick smiled, leaning against the wall near the door to Jonathan’s condo. Jonathan was in the midst of eating dinner with Rachel when they were interrupted. He opened his door to find Patrick standing there with a bottle of Grey Goose in hand.

“Kaner, go get a taxi and go home. We’ve got a game to prepare for.”

“That’s not for a few days! C’mon man! Let’s fuckin’ go out! It’s Chicagoooooo! The city is ours!” Patrick cheered, chugging the bottle. Jonathan shook his head, this guy's a wreck.

“You’re acting out because of Lilly. Grow up, man.” He told him bluntly. Patrick mocked Jonathan, rolling his eyes and using his hands to make a mouth motion. “This isn’t because of her. Don’t talk about her! She’s outta my lifeeeeee man! Outta my LIFE!”

“Patrick’s wasted?” Rachel called from the kitchen. Jonathan nodded, “Come help.”

“What the hell is wrong with you, Pat?” Rachel gasped, walking down the hall toward the door. You’re in slippers! Go home.”

Jonathan shook his head, annoyed by Patrick and his actions. “He’s lashing out because Lilly broke up with him.”

“Nah, man! She wants to hook up with that fuckin’ lawyer, let her. I just wanna have some fun with my buddy!” Patrick smirked, putting his arm around Jonathan’s shoulder. Quickly, he shrug it off; stepping back to take a good look at Patrick. His eyes were saddened as if he hadn’t slept in days. His facial hair was growing and his clothes weren’t as nice as usual.

“Face it, man. You’re lashing out. You’re acting immature. Grow up and be the man. Show Lilly what she’s missing.” Jonathan told his friend. Patrick stood there expressionless, “Okay.”

Rachel’s eyebrows rose, “Okay?”

“Can I stay here?” Patrick asked, taking off his slippers and handing Rachel the bottle. It didn’t seem right to Jonathan, Kaner never gives up his partying that quick.

“I lost my wallet…I think. Can I stay here?”

“So you’re done partying?” Jonathan asked as if he didn’t believe what was happening. Rachel was quick to make sure the guest bedroom was clean, as Kaner would be heading there any minute.

“YES, if I want to get Lilly back I need to show her I’m worth it”