Believe in Me

I walked out of Patrick’s condo disgusted with myself. How could I do that? How could I betray Adam, who’s been so good to me, like that? I’m a whore, that’s what I told myself. I wanted to beat myself up for going back to Patrick. I should’ve never stepped foot in his condo.

I got back to Adam’s quickly, since he only lived 14 floors above Patrick, and was surprised to find him home. I was beyond happy, but the guilt was in the back of my mind. I didn’t resist. I went up to him and grabbed his face, pushing our lips together. I was quick, wanting to undress him as fast as I could.

He carried me to his bed, then stripped off my clothes. Every time Adam touched me, Patrick was in the back of my mind. That’s why I wanted Adam right then and there. That’s why I needed Adam. I couldn't stand the image of Pat still surfacing across my thoughts. It was too much.

I rolled on top of him, unbuttoning his Lacoste collared shirt. I was much faster than he was, and I could tell he was curious. The look on his face explained everything, so I tried to act normal.

“Lilly…wait.”
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I walked out of my apartment, tired as hell and achy as ever. I had to pick up Landon from the airport, but I had a few errands to run before that. I breathed heavily and my back hurt. All I wanted to do was sit.

I took the first taxi I saw, and instructed him to drive to the Trump.

“…Lilly?” Patrick asked in awe, opening his front door. It’d been five months since the last time I slept with him, or seen him for that matter. I became a professional at avoiding him. Whenever I’d go to see Adam, I’d take a different route to his condo, just to avoid running into Pat. It wasn’t only my fault, though. I hadn’t heard from Patrick either. No text messages, no phone calls, it was as if he wanted to avoid me as well. I didn’t mind it. I really didn’t.

“Wow…” He said, staring at me. I shrugged, pushing myself into his condo.

“I know.”

“Congratulations.” He told me. I forced a smile, “Thanks.”

“How many months are you?”

I walked over to his sofa and laid down. “Five. My back hurts like hell, sorry I need to lie down here.”

He rushed over to me, offering me the pillows in his hands. “Do you need anything else? Food? Water? Tissues? Aren’t pregnant girls emotional and hungry?”

I couldn’t help but laugh. He was so oblivious. I declined the offers by telling him I was fine. We sat there for a few minutes in silence. I think he was still trying to process the fact that I was pregnant.

“Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?” He asked all of a sudden. I smiled, rubbing my hands along my growing stomach. “It’s a boy.”

“You got a name?”

“I’m naming him after his father.” I told him. He stared at my stomach nodding in awe. I leaned up, taking a breath.

“His name is going to be Patrick.”