I'm Not The Same Boy You Knew Back Then

Jack opened his eyes slowly, letting them adjust to the light. He glanced down and smiled at the sight in front of him - Alex laid against him with his head on Jack's chest. Jack squeezed his arms around the boy, being careful as not to pull on the tube leading to his IV drip. Watching Alex break down in front of him like that made him more determined to fix everything. But to be honest, he didn't really know how.

Jack had always been a quiet kid. He was always shy in school, and would never dream of putting his hand up to answer a question. He despised teachers who picked on random students for answers. If he was ever picked, he would never say anything; he'd only mumble, or "um," and "ah,". That usually lead to the teacher getting annoyed and sending him to the principal for not cooperating. He'd never really had friends before, because he was too shy to make conversation with anyone in the playground. All the kids just thought he was a weirdo, and left him to sit on his own away from everyone.

That's why Jack was dreading explaining things to Alex - he'd never been able to hold long conversations. He guessed he used to be able to talk to Alex well, before he left. But now he wasn't so sure. Alex had changed, Jack could see that clearly. He didn't know if Alex would even listen to him, let alone forgive him.

That's why Jack was there - to convince Alex to forgive him. The time spent when they were apart was hell for Jack: worse than it was before they met, and Jack didn't think that was possible. He needed his friend back, the one person he could confine in and trust. He needed Alex.

Alex began to stir in Jack's arms, and Jack's smile grew as he watched the murky brown orbs slowly reveal as Alex awoke.

"How long have you been staring at me?"

"Not long." Jack watched as Alex smiled and began to turn over. "You've aged well, Alex. I'd even go as far as saying you're hot."

Alex tensed up. "Yeah, well, I'm not into guys. Especially ones that leave when you're having a bad time." There were two lies present in Alex's words. Lie number one was that Alex was most definitely 110% homosexual. He'd known for a while, since he hand't even looked at a girl like that in months, and had recently been getting off to pictures of Zac Efron topless. Lie number two was that Alex was into Jack. Jack had only become more and more attractive over the years, and Alex could already feel himself beginning to forgive the man. Just being near him made him want to forget everything and hug him forever.

Jack blew off the insult with a loud and short exhale from his nose, and a smirk, but never followed it up with a reply.

Alex continued trying to roll over so he was facing Jack, pulling himself upright more, but ending in him falling face first into Jack's chest as his arms gave way.

Jack grunted slightly at the impact, but wrapped his arms around Alex once more. "Just stay where you are. You're barely even strong enough to sit up."

"But I'm hungry and I want the doctor to come tell me when I can leave."

"He came in earlier. Said you could leave once you'd signed some papers or something. And I can go get you something to eat if you want."

Alex wrinkled his nose at the thought of hospital food. "Nah, thanks, I'll get something when I leave." Alex was truly surprised at himself for managing to talk to Jack properly and not collapse or something similar. But he guessed his brain had decided for him that he needed to find out what happened to Jack, so he could move on with his life.

The new silence between them was slowly turning awkward, so Jack spoke up. "Well, uh, you should probably get ready to leave. D'you want me to help you stand up?"

"I'm not totally incapable," Alex huffed, slowly detangling himself from Jack and moving off of the bed, exaggerating each movement to prove he was ok.

Jack smiled, a slight laugh escaping his lips. "You always were feisty."

Alex looked at his feet at the comment. He missed those days.

Jack stood up himself, stretching his arms above his head with a groan, and Alex was trying to convince himself that he didn't stare at the patch of Jack's skin that was revealed below his belly button for over 3 seconds.

Just then Matt bustled in through the door, folded up jeans and shirt in hand, along with a McDonald's breakfast muffin. "Good morning, sunshine! I knew you wouldn't want hospital food so I brought you your favour- oh, hi, Jack."

Jack smiled sheepishly, and raised his hand in a wave towards the boy. Alex blushed.

"Well, I bought you clean clothes too. I had to tell the nurse you ' weren't on good terms with your parents' because you still look about fifteen, and they wanted to ring someone to fetch you."

Alex's blush only deepened, and he accepted the clothes off of Matt with a grin. "Right, um, I'll be in the bathroom."

Jack sat back down on the bed as Alex wandered into the room's connected bathroom. Matt coughed, causing Jack to look up. "Look, Jack, I know who you are. Alex told me everything when we first became friends, and I swear to god if you're here to cause trouble for him, my boyfriend is the most hench guy I know and I have no issues with telling him to beat the crap out of-"

"That could not be further away from why I'm here. I want to make it up to him, Matt. I have to. I know I left him all by himself while he was going through shit, and I need to fix that, but no one else seems to realise that I got hurt too. We were best friends, after all, so that day I lost someone special too, and he wasn't the only one having a bad time."

Matt bit his lip, guilt flooding his face. "I-I know, man. I'm sorry. Just… Just don't fuck him around any more. He's like a brother to me."

At that point, Alex timidly reemerged from the bathroom, fully clothed with dirty gown in hand. Matt smiled, now focused on him, and handed him the muffin. "Right, let's go!"

~*~

Alex filled in the last few lines of some paperwork the hospital had made him fill out. All that information made his brain ache. He looked down at his writing after he'd signed his name. He hated his handwriting. He never really wrote much when he was younger, mainly because he didn't really know how. He'd taught himself to read things, mostly with Mark's help, but it always took him a while to read each word. When Alex became friends with Matt, the older boy had no idea Alex couldn't really read or write until he tried to take a table order. He stood there, fingers twiddling with the pen, trying to figure out how to spell the order the customer was reciting, and then write it down. It all became too much for him at one point, and he threw the pad and pen to the ground before running in to the back room, crying. That's when Matt decided to help him. Each night, Matt would sit down with Alex at the dining table, and teach him how to read and write. He'd bought some of those children's books, where the letters were already on the page, and Alex had to write a replica next to it. Alex became frustrated sometimes, and claimed he was 'being treated like a kid', but in the end he was thanking Matt for all his help.

Alex handed the sheets to the receptionist with a smile, and walked over to where Matt and Jack were standing. Matt flashed him a grin, and exited the hospital, Alex and Jack in tow. Matt and Alex's flat was only a short walk from the hospital, and in the fresh spring breeze it was enjoyable to be outside.

Matt was a few paces in front of the pair, so Jack spoke up. "Matt must be a really great friend. He's always looking out for you."

"Yeah, well, someone had to. I became quite dependant on others thanks to you."

Jack sighed. He should have anticipated that one. "I'm gonna fix this, Lex. Whatever it takes."

Alex blushed at the nickname. However, he didn't believe Jack. He didn't know how any of this could be fixed. An eighteen year old, with no family and a haunting past, a crappy job, no education, anxiety issues, living with his current best friend, and his old best friend has just turned up. Alex was pretty sure he was a lost cause.