Wishing We Could Start Again.

“Right now.” The elderly man laughed. “What’s your name son?” “Alex, Alex Gaskarth.” I introduced myself. “Call me Richard.” The man said, shaking my hand. “Sunny, could you come over her for a minute?” He yelled to the girl behind the other counter across the room. She looked up from her book and nodded. She got up from her seat, giving me a chance to really look at her.

She was an average height and had a slender build, she had a pretty face, framed with long, sleek, reddish brown hair and eyes that seemed almost familiar. She was wearing a simple jeans and T combo, black converse and no makeup.
She looked at me and for a second I thought I saw a flash of recognition in her eyes. I didn’t really think anything of it, she probably knows me from the band.

“Alex, this is Sunny. Sunshine, meet Alex, your new co-worker.” Richard introduced us. “Sunny you’ll be teaching Alex how to work the register and coffee machine today. It’s not very busy, so I’m not expecting any problems.” Richard pulled on his jacket that had been hanging over the back of a chair. “I’ll leave you two kids to it, Doris is waiting for me. Sunshine don’t forget to lock up okay.” And with that he was gone, leaving Sunny and me behind with a handful of costumers.

Once he was gone I turned to Sunny. “Sunshine?” I asked. She smiled, pulling her hair in a bun. “Yes, Richard always calls me that, says I was like sunshine on a rainy day when I helped him out, but just call me Sunny.” “Nice to meet you Sunny.” We shook hands and our eyes met. She looked so familiar, but I simply couldn’t place her. Had I seen her before or did she just look like someone I know. “Have we met?” I had to know.

Sunny laughed. “Yeah, just a minute ago when Richard introduced us.” “No I mean before, you look familiar.” I pressed on. She shook her head. “Don’t think so, come on, I’ll show you how that damn coffee machine works.” She said and skipped past me to the other counter.

The coffee machine and register weren’t very difficult and after half an hour I got the hang of it. Sunny and I talked a little as she closely watched me making some mocha-chocolate coffee thing. “So the shop opens at 10am, which means we need to be here at 9.30 am to get things ready. We close at 5 pm, but we leave when cleaning and inventory is done, which is usually around 5.30 pm. Lunch is between 1pm and 2 pm, after rush hour, you get half an hour and we’ll take turns, since there has to be someone in the shop at all times.” She explained. “You can get a cup of coffee or tea whenever you want. We’ll switch between the bookstore and coffeeshop registers after lunch. Guess we can decide who does what first when we get her in the morning or something. Richard will probably pop in every once in a while, but mostly it’ll be just you and I.” She took a sip of tea. “And that’s about it. Also the coffee looks good, so I’m sure you’ll be fine on your own now. If you need anything let me know, I’m about two feet away.” She smiled at me and left to get back to her book.

She didn’t really talk to me the rest of the day. She either sat behind the counter or on top of it, reading her book and helping customers. The rest of the day was quit uneventful, a good amount of people came in, most just to order a coffee to-go, but after 4 the place was almost dead. Sunny and I were the only two people in the room and we hadn’t seen a customer in a good 15 minutes, so I decided to hop over to her counter to see if she was up for some small talk.

Sunny didn’t look up from her book until I called her name. She looked up at me and smiled. “You need help with something?” “No, not really, I was bored.” I shrugged. Sunny nodded. “Understandable. We usually don’t get a lot of customers after 4.” She placed her book on the counter and picked up a stack of books from a table behind her. “So you can help me put these back on the shelves.” She said, dumping the pile in my arms and pick up a stack of her own. I sighed, it wasn’t really what I was hoping for, but at least I had something to do now.

Earlier that day Sunny had explained to me how the book section of the shop was organized, but I still had some trouble finding the right shelves. Sunny however seemed to have every single book and it’s shelf memorized and by the time I’d found the right shelf she was already halfway done.

From where I was standing I had a perfect view on her, but she couldn’t see me, which gave me the change to look at her, without risking looking like a perv. Something about her made me curious, at first glance she was a nice, polite girl, but after spending the day with her I realized she kept her distance, bought physical as emotional. Sure she was friendly to the customers and never had a problem helping them out, but she never came too close to them. She rarely stepped away from behind the counter, mostly just pointing people in the right direction, but she never went with them.

I’d tried to talk to her several times today, but she never really responded. Sure she answered my questions, but she never kept the conversation going. Not just with me, but also with the occasional customer that came in for some small talk rather than actually buying something.

Her behavior intrigued me. A mystery I was dying to solve, but something stopped me. Sure I was curious, but the ache I felt in my heart that the last mystery I’d solved had left was enough to keep me from digging too deep. Secrets are secrets for a reason, I’d learned that lesson the hard way.
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The second day I arrived at the shop at 9.30 sharp. Sunny was already there, filling up the coffee machine. “Good morning.” I greeted her. “Morning Alex.” She said, not looking up. I stood in the middle of the empty shop, looking around. “So uhm, what needs to be done?” Sunny pointed to the dishwasher behind her. “That needs to be unloaded, the coffee machine needs a refill, but I’ve got that covered and there’s a box of new books in the back that needs to be unpacked, sorted, labeled, categorized and put on the shelf. If you could start with that, that be great.” “Yes ma’am.” I jokingly saluted her and turned around to get the box from the storage.

When I got back there was a mug of coffee on the counter. “Black, 3 sugar, right?” Sunny’s voice came from the back of the store, where she was tidying one of the bookcases. I put the box down and peaked around the corner. “Yeah, how’d you know?” “You drank three mugs yesterday, figure you could use another one by now.” She shrugged, putting the last book back and walked back to the coffee counter. “You can start with that box of new books, just see how far you get, I’ll finish it after lunch.” I nodded. “Alright. Thanks for the coffee.” “No problem.” She smiled, still not looking up.
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A few hours later I had labeled and categorized almost all the books. I looked at the clock and saw it was almost one. “You go first.” Sunny said. “I spilled some coffee and I want to clean it up before getting lunch.” I nodded and went outside. I wasn’t really hungry so I decided to check how my friends back home we’re doing.

“Hallo.” “Hey Jack.” “Alex, dude! How’s Cali treating you?” I chuckled. “Pretty good, the apartment is fucking amazing. Remind me to thank Adam next time I see him.” I said. “Sure thing man. So, how’s the job hunting going? Found someone crazy enough to hire you?” Jack chuckled. “I did actually.” I replied. “It’s not much, I get to spends several hours a day sitting behind a counter at some local bookstore/coffeeshop, but it’s a job right.” I briefly explained to Jack how I managed to get the job and told him a little about Richard and Sunny.

“So this girl, she cute?” Was the first thing Jack asked when I finished my story. I laughed. “Really, Jack, that’s the first thing you ask?” I could almost hear him shrug, but he didn’t respond vocally. “Yeah, she’s.... pretty.” I hesitated. “It’s just... It’s like she build a wall around herself. I can’t get through to her and it’s frustrating. I spend more about 8 hours a day with this girl, but it’s like she refuses to acknowledge I’m there! She barely speaks to me, hell she barely looks up from that stupid books she’s reading all the time. It’s like....” I suddenly stopped talking, realizing what I was about to say. “Like what?” Jack questioned. “Like Summer all over again.” I muttered.

I could hear Jack sigh softly. “Alex. Summer... she’s not coming back, man. You know I’m all pro moving on, but it sounds like you’re projecting Summer on this mystery chick. You need to let go of her Al.” “When did you get a Phd. In psychology?” I muttered. “Since you moved to Cali and got obsessed over some random chick you’ve just met. Maybe she’s just shy Al. Not everyone is a walking mystery you know. Give the girl some time, I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before she too fall for you natural charm.” I could hear Mandy laughing in the background.

“Asshole.” I chuckled. “You too Mandy!” I said a little louder. “Fuck both of you.” “Sorry love, you’re not my type!” I could hear Mandy yell in the back. I chuckled. “Alright you too, I gotta go, lunch break is almost over. I’m heading back inside.” I said my goodbyes to Mandy and Jack and went back inside.

There were a few costumers inside, two of them waiting for their coffee, so I hurry to the counter to get their orders. From the corner of my eye I saw Sunny emerge from behind one of the bookcases where she’d been putting the new books on the shelves. She not Summer. I told myself. No of course not, how could she be? Summer was in a clinic somewhere in Europe, miles out of reach, her parents made sure of that.

Deep inside I know I’ll probably never see her again. As long as she’s in her parents care they’ll make sure to keep me as far away from her as possible. I closed my eyes for a second and her image come floating back. I opened my eyes again and saw Sunny talking to a costumer and I couldn’t help but compare the two.

Summer had been like a delicate, porcelain doll, beautiful, but so very fragile. One wrong move was enough to shatter her completely. Sunny seemed to be quite the opposite. Whereas Summer had locked herself in a tall tower where no one could reach here, Sunny seemed to have build herself an armor to protect herself from other people. I wondered who had hurt her so bad she was so unwilling to let people in.

For some reason this bothered me. I wanted her to trust me, to let me in. Why? You’ve only know this girl for a day! Because I want to help her. Why!? Because I couldn’t help Summer!

My whole body froze as the realization sank in. Was that why I was so interested in this girl? Did I really think of her as a second chance to make things right? Memories of Bailey and Summer flashed in front of my eyes and how I hadn’t been able to save them.

My gaze wandered back to Sunny, who once again was sitting behind the counter, reading a book. I’ll save you, I vowed softly to myself, I will not let anyone down again. I promise.