This Time I'll Hang, Close the Door

“Bella! Bella, where are you?!” I bellowed as I ran through her boyfriend’s apartment, in search of her.

I told her not to get back with him. He’s abusive and very disturbed. He doesn’t know how to control a situation besides yelling and hitting. Hitting is fucking terrible! Yelling is not as bad but still. It all comes down in the end.

I sprinted up to Ronnie’s room. That’s her jackass of a boyfriend. I found the room and bashed down the door with my foot, pressing all the power I had on it just to save my best friend.

I’ve known Bella forever. We go way back to when we were elementary students. We even lived in the same subdivision; which made it easier for us to hang out and go for walks with our moms or go to the park whenever we liked.

As we got older, we grew up living together when her mom’s house went on foreclosure. We spent so much time together! But that was before she met Ronnie Radke. He used to be a great man until he started using and abusing her. She didn’t have a choice but to stay with him because if she refused, he would beat her to death. I’m so surprised that she didn’t end up in the hospital yet because of the actions he took. I’m glad that she’s ok. But…then again…she’s not fucking ok! She’s with a man who is ruining her whole life and she can’t do anything about it. I’ve tried talking her out of it before but she loves him. How could she love him?

I love her to death and I can’t stand to see her suffer like this.

“Bella…! Where are you?!…Bella, tell me where you are! Please Belz…!” I frantically glanced all around the room. My eyes began to hurt from switching locations from the bathroom to the bed.

Suddenly, I heard a strange noise coming from the closet. It sounded of tears and cries.

I swiftly opened the door. There on the cold ground, sat Bella with her knees hugged to her chest. Her head curled down. She was shaking and scared.

“Oh Bella…come here,” I said warmly, not to frighten her. She didn’t move an inch. I picked her up and carried her bridal style over to the bed. I hugged her tightly to force away all the pain she had. She was still shaking. “Calm down, Belz. I’m here for you. I’m here for you.” She quickly threw her arms around my neck and pulled me into her hug.

“I was so scared, Kellin,” she whispered. I took a quick look at her arms and legs and there I saw it. Bruises and bite marks all over. Her neck had purple and blue marks as well. I peered in her eyes. They were puffy and red from the all the crying. I saw misery and pain on her face. Her voice screamed for help but nothing came out. “I’m still scared. What if he hurts you?”

“That asshole can’t hurt me. I’m only concerned for your safety, Belz. I’ll be fine.”

“He hurt me.” Pain struck her voice. “It hurt so bad, Kelz.”

“D-Did he…rape you?!” I glared in her eyes. She turned away. I placed my thumb on her chin and rotated her face around. “Bella, did he fucking rape you?! I need to know! Tell me, please…!” Tears fled from her eyes. I swear she cried a river by now. “Oh my god, he’s never going to hurt you now! I’m here for you. This is all my fault.”

She nodded and leaned in the crook of my neck. I held her tightly as we hugged. I leaned up against the backboard of the bed. “K-Kellin?” she said softly. "It's not your fault."

"Yes it is! I didn't get to you sooner. If i did then you wouldn't be hurt."

"Don't blame everything on yourself." She sat up for a second. "K-K-Kellin?"

“Hmm?” I rubbed circles around her back played with her hair.

“He h-hurt me, cut me, slashed my wrists, s-stained my back, pulled my hair, whipped me, raped me, and left me f-for death. Why didn’t he just kill me instead of making me g-go through all this misery?”

“I don’t know. But I’m happy you’re alive.” I kissed her forehead.

“I’d rather die than go through with this shit. What did I do to deserve this?”

“Absolutely nothing.” I told her to sit up and face me. “Look at me, you’re beautiful. I don’t understand why he would do these things to you. But you’re a wonderful person and any guy would be a lucky bastard just to hold you in their arms. Trust me. I would know. I’ve known you since we were little toddlers and look how you’ve grown. I pretty, young woman who knows what she wants to do in life.”

“Are you kidding me? I’m worthless and ugly and disgusting,” she cried out. “I wish I would just die. I don‘t want to be saved either. There‘s no more hope for me.”

“Don’t you ever say that, Bella! You’re an amazing, attractive, young lady! I don’t want you to die. I want you to live on and see what your future holds for you. Continue on with your life and have a loving husband. Have as many kids as you want! Hell, have fucking 20 if it makes you happy. Just never give up on what you wanna do. Do you hear me?”

She smiled with her eyes closed. “Kelz, sing to me. Please? I love it when you sing.”

I patted her head. “Which song would you like me to sing?”

“The Dial 411 song that you composed.”

I smiled widely and began to sing.

“I can save you {save you}
If you ask me just ask me to
There’s hope for you tonight
I can save you
If you ask me just ask me to
I can save your life

I saw you from the across the room and I knew who you were
You act like you are afraid of who you are
I’m afraid for you
Try trust and believe in me
I can show you that
There’s so much more
There’s still hope for you
Let me show you I can save you

I can save you {save you}
If you ask me just ask me to
There’s hope for you tonight
I can save you
If you ask me just ask me to
I can save your life.

“Don’t stop there…you’re forgetting the screaming parts,” she said staring in my eyes.

“You want me to scream right now?”

“Please do.” She placed her head on my chest. I felt my heart pounding with anger and frustration as a sang my lyrics. Ronnie hurting her made it so much easier for me to just scream it out loud.

“ONE DAY YOU’LL OPEN YOUR EYES AND TAKE A LOOK INSIDE
CUZ I JUST SAVED YOUR LIFE!
JUST TAKE A LOOK INSIDE
I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT’S IT’S LIKE TO BE ALRIGHT!
I…AM…FOR…YOU!

Don’t give up just believe I will be right there
When your hope and your dreams
Are on the line {on the line}
Don’t give up just believe I will be right by your side
When your hopes and dreams
Are on the line {on the line}

I can save you {save you}
If you ask me just ask me to
There’s hope for you tonight
I can save you
If you ask me just ask me to
I can save your life.”

She fell asleep in my arms. I whispered in her ear, “I promise I won’t let anything ever happen to you again, I fucking promise. I love you Bella and you’re my everything. I don’t want you to ever die or give in. I’m here for you always. I’m here to protect you from danger and from that asshole. I don’t know if you can hear me, but I need you to finally break up with him. He causes to much pain in your life I can’t stand to see you crying or in pain. Promise me you‘ll get rid of him forever?”

She lifted her head up. “I promise, Kelz. I promise. I'm done with him.” She rested her head back down on my chest and fell asleep.

“He can’t hurt you now. If you ever have trouble in your life again, I can save you, Belz. I don't ever wanna lose my best friend. I know I can save you.”

I. Know. I. Can.