Letters for Muscles
March 15
My Dearest Muscles,
Today is another day checked off on the calendar. Marking time is all I do anymore.
Things were okay. As usual. The bullshit is unending.
I’m not suicidal, but it feels like life isn’t flying by fast enough. Being stuck day in and day out is harrowing. My life is going to be a huge waste of time. It doesn’t even matter what you would’ve wanted for me. That excuse doesn’t matter anymore. I’m living half-alive.
My life ended on March 4, 2058. Now, I just live until I die.
I miss not having you here. I miss hearing about your day. Sometimes, I imagine how things would be if you were still here. I imagine how your work days would go and what you’d tell me when you came home. I imagine jokes you would’ve made about Kennedy or my father.
Sometimes, I wonder what you would think of the choices I’ve made… how I’m “just getting by.”
I miss being able to curl up with you. I miss feeling so safe.
I miss knowing that I was lucky.
I miss being married.
I miss feeling like the most sought-after man in all the world was standing by my side simply because he chose to be there.
I’m surrounded by so many people, but I feel so alone.
Love you,
Blondie
Today is another day checked off on the calendar. Marking time is all I do anymore.
Things were okay. As usual. The bullshit is unending.
I’m not suicidal, but it feels like life isn’t flying by fast enough. Being stuck day in and day out is harrowing. My life is going to be a huge waste of time. It doesn’t even matter what you would’ve wanted for me. That excuse doesn’t matter anymore. I’m living half-alive.
My life ended on March 4, 2058. Now, I just live until I die.
I miss not having you here. I miss hearing about your day. Sometimes, I imagine how things would be if you were still here. I imagine how your work days would go and what you’d tell me when you came home. I imagine jokes you would’ve made about Kennedy or my father.
Sometimes, I wonder what you would think of the choices I’ve made… how I’m “just getting by.”
I miss being able to curl up with you. I miss feeling so safe.
I miss knowing that I was lucky.
I miss being married.
I miss feeling like the most sought-after man in all the world was standing by my side simply because he chose to be there.
I’m surrounded by so many people, but I feel so alone.
Love you,
Blondie