Letters for Muscles
March 19
My Dearest Muscles,
Today was… okay.
Of course, there was plenty of crying still. I managed to fall asleep sobbing into my pillow last night. Again.
On the whole, things were just okay.
I think it’s because Chandler’s been taking me to work with him. Work is good for me. He still calls me out on putting my brave face on. He’s really on the same wavelength as me. It’s just a really nice place to be.
At times, I see little specks of brightness in life. Fleeting bits of happiness passing by me.
Other times, I go back to that announcement. Wondering how bad it was, wondering how fate could be so cruel to us. I cry that there was no one there to cradle your head and sing to you until help arrived. I watched Kennedy’s face, waiting for him to say there’d been a mistake. That it was someone else and that you were just fine.
That was when the incessant, internal screaming began.
At times, I think I’ve come so far. Others, I feel I can’t escape this black pit of despair.
I miss you so much my body aches.
I love you so much my heart hurts.
Blondie
Today was… okay.
Of course, there was plenty of crying still. I managed to fall asleep sobbing into my pillow last night. Again.
On the whole, things were just okay.
I think it’s because Chandler’s been taking me to work with him. Work is good for me. He still calls me out on putting my brave face on. He’s really on the same wavelength as me. It’s just a really nice place to be.
At times, I see little specks of brightness in life. Fleeting bits of happiness passing by me.
Other times, I go back to that announcement. Wondering how bad it was, wondering how fate could be so cruel to us. I cry that there was no one there to cradle your head and sing to you until help arrived. I watched Kennedy’s face, waiting for him to say there’d been a mistake. That it was someone else and that you were just fine.
That was when the incessant, internal screaming began.
At times, I think I’ve come so far. Others, I feel I can’t escape this black pit of despair.
I miss you so much my body aches.
I love you so much my heart hurts.
Blondie