Improbabil Dragoste

I passed Andrea who was holding a blanket walking back to the bodies, probably to cover up Sophia. I walked over to the R.V. sure that Carol was inside, when I walked in I saw Daryl was already in there. I looked at Carol and turned around to leave not looking at Daryl. I paced the camp for a while before returning to the barn to help them move Sophia and the others. Andrea started to cover up Hershel's wife and stepson and loaded them in the back of a truck to move them over to trees. The boy, T-Dog and Andrea were just starting to dig the graves but I walked over to Andrea, “Hey, I'll dig, you can rest.” I offered.
She looked up at me wiping sweat from her face, “Sure, thanks.” She said handing over the shovel.
I didn't to dig a whole, I needed to release this anger and I heard digging a hole was a good way to that, at least that's what I've heard. Shane stood behind and told us when he thought they were deep enough and we all jumped out of them as Lori went to go tell Carol we were ready. Carol didn't show up, Lori and Daryl came back without her. Hershel, who dressed nicely, and his family came down and stood with us. We stood in silence, Hershel did not read from the bible nor did I give recognition of their memories, just stood with my hands folded in front of my staring down at the graves. When we parted I went with the others to move the rest of the bodies.
“Good thing Shane did what he did, when he did.” T-Dog admitted.
“You can't tell me this was right.” Dale started.
“It wasn't. It'll cost us with Hershel.” Rick said.
Sighing Andrea said, “He's grieving. He'll come around, see we had no choice. Look, I shot too. This wasn't all Shane.”
“Look, I got no qualms about it. Walkers in my backyard? Hm-mm.” T-Dog said.
“I'm not saying that we shouldn't have taken care of the problem but creating a panic?!” Dale said raising his voice.
“There's no point arguing about it. It's done.” Lori said.
“She's right. Now we wait for Hershel's move.” I spoke up wiping my hands on my jeans.
“Better get moving.” T-Dog climbed into the truck with Andrea following kicking the back signaling T-Dog to go as she sat in the back.
I followed Rick and Lori back to camp we weren't there long before Glenn came running out telling us Beth collapsed inside. Lori, looking concerned ran with Glenn back into the house, I didn't follow I stayed where I was laying, inside my tent. I sighed heavily and rubbed my face with my hands resting them on my face blocking out the light. A few moments later I heard the creak of a car door opening and sat up seeing Rick standing next to the vehicle looking like he was getting ready to leave. I jumped up, grabbing my pick, and ran over to Rick.
“Are you leaving?” I asked stopping next to him.
“Yeah, Hershel is missing, we think he's in town.” He said loading his pistol.
“Can I come?”
He looked over at me then to the side at Glenn, “Hey, Glenn, I'll take Cat here, you can stay.”
I smiled and ran over to the other side of the vehicle, I looked at Maggie and she looked thankful that Glenn wasn't leaving and nodded in my direction. Rick and I both loaded into the vehicle and headed off, “Do you think Hershel is still alive?” I asked.
Ricked looked over at me, “I sure hope so.”
I nodded thinking the same thing, it would be awful to find Hershel dead or a walker, especially knowing his last moments were filled with sadness. Which we caused by killing those walkers he believed he could have healed. We reached the town fairly quickly and Rick stopped the car at the edge of town next to this old brick building we shared a look before getting out. I pulled out my pick looking down the street keeping my eyes open, Rick readied his pistol.
“This is the bar?” I asked walked around the vehicle next to Rick.
“Yeah,” He said walking to the front of the bar.
Rick kicked the door open pointing his pistol up quickly but lowered it slowly when seeing Hershel sitting at the bar in front of us.
“Hershel.”
“Who's with you?” He responded.
“Catalina. She volunteered for Glenn.” Rick walked over next to Hershel, “How many have you had?”
“Not enough.”
Rick glanced back at me then leaned down to whisper to Hershel, “Let's finish this up back at home. Beth collapsed, is in some sort of state. Must be in shock. I think you are too.”
Hershel looked at Rick at the news of Beth, “Maggie's with her?”
“Yeah, but Beth needs you.”
“What could I do? She needs her mother or rather to mourn like she should've done weeks ago. I robbed her of that. I see that now.”
“You thought there was a cure. Can't blame yourself for holding out for hope.”
“Hope?” Hershel looked at Rick placing down his glass, “When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, I had little hope he would survive.”
“But he did.”
Hershel nodded, “He did. Even though we lost Otis. Your man Shane made it back and we saved your boy. That was the miracle that proved to me miracles do exist.” He held his hand up pointing his finger down then looked at Rick, “Only it was a sham. A bait and switch. I was a fool, Rick, and you people saw that.”
I saw Rick tense his jaw but said nothing as Hershel continued, “My daughters deserve better than that.” He took the last drink from his glass grabbing the bottle to refill it.
I walked away back to the door Rick kicked out looking out, watching, when Rick walked over to me leaving Hershel to drink alone.
I turned to Rick, “Should we wait it out?”
“Just go. Just go!” Hershel hollered over to us.
“I promised Maggie I'd bring you home safe.” Rick started to walked toward Hershel.
Hershel chuckled, “Like you promised that little girl?”
I glanced down feeling the blow directed at Rick.
“So what's your plan? Finish that bottle? Drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone?” Rick started to quickly walk over to Hershel, angry.
Hershel stood up to meet Rick face to face, chest to chest, “Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm.” His voice started to raise stepping closer to Rick, “You people are like a plague! I do the christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroy it all!”
“The world was already in bad shape when we met.” Rick closed the gap between him and Hershel with only two feet between them.
“And you take no responsibility! You're supposed to be their leader!”
“Well, I'm here now, aren't I?”
They stood in front of each other none of them breaking from the others stern gauze.
“Yes. Yes. Yes, you are.” Hershel surrendered and returned to the bar sitting to finish his filled glass.
Rick followed stopping to the side of him, “Now come on. Your girls need you now more than ever.” Rick went to grab Hershel arm only to be denied with his pulling away.
“I didn't want to believe you.” Hershel started breathing like someone trying not cry, “You told me there was no cure, that these people were dead, not sick. I chose not to believe that. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept coming, that's when I knew what an ass I'd been, That Annette had been dead long ago and I was feeding a rotten corpse! That's when I knew there was no hope. And when that little girl came out of the barn, the look on your face-- I knew you knew it too. Right? There is not hope. And you know it now, like I do. Don't you?”
Rick and I shared a look, “There is no hope for any of us.” Hershel finished turning away grabbing his glass.
“Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for. You have a job to protect your daughters and to love them, you cannot tell me you have given up hope when they still hold hope for you.” I told Hershel staring at the back of his head.
“Look, I'm done. I'm not doing this anymore, cleaning up after you. You know what the truth is? Nothing has changed. Death is death. It's always been there, whether it's from a heart attack, cancer, or a walker. What's the difference? You didn't think it was hopeless before, did you? Now there are people back at home trying to hang on. They need us, even if it's just to give them a reason to go on, even if we don't believe it ourselves. Cat is right, they still have hope for us, we can't throw that away. This isn’t about what we believe anymore. It's about them.” Rick pointed out toward the door.
Hershel looked at Rick downed the rest of his glass turning it on its lid against the bar and stood up, but then the door creaked. I backed up to stand next to Rick holding my pick ready seeing two mean walk into the bar on with a gun strapped across his chest.
The one in front spoke up with a horsey voice, “Son of a bitch. They're alive.” He said looking back talking to his partner.